₦airaland Forum

SmartMen:
Thanks, man. It was nice having this chat with you as well. I enjoyed it.

Welcome man!


I recommend you start writing articles.


I like your long epistle, I thought I do write long epistle, but I have seen someone better than me.

SmartMen:
I would disagree with you here. It depends on how you go about it and the kind of girl. While I was going through the roller coaster with those girls and experiencing heartbreaks, I know a guy who dated his babe.

In all their dating years, I can tell you the babe didn't get up to 100k in total from him, while me on the other hand was losing money (not a lot of money though) to all the girls making a fool of me lol. He wasn't financially buoyant like that either. And this his babe is pretty o, so much that a guy with car can easily snatch her from the dude. But despite the guy not having much, they stayed together and they are married now.

It depends on how you handle the girls too. This very guy does not call the babe often, he does not pet her, they could go weeks without seeing each other, despite living in the same LGA.

He is someone close to me and so I know.

I totally agree with you. We still have good girls that still love a man who has nothing. But the percentage is very minimal.


And which you know if we are taking statistics, they won't be considered, because their number can not influence the truth on what women are truly.


Well, I am happy that you got who you understand and you are happy too.

What you passed through all these years would have made you a monster, but you did not.


I wish you a blissful union all together.

SmartMen:
Lol... Man, if I told you I came from a family of chronic womanizers, you wouldn't believe it. I mean I saw my uncles changing women like clothes.

My immediate elder brother and his friends once caused a serious fight with some guys in our street years back in Benin. The reason? They had almost successfully furrrked all the pretty girls in our street and these girls who had brothers became angry. In fact my brother's friend banged the sister of one of those guys.

Despite seeing all these, I would tell myself that that is rubbish way of life and not a good way to live life with women.... I always wanted to do things the right way and i was a bookworm too, who stumbled on some kind of books that deceived me lol...

It never works... I don't know which person it has ever worked for lol.


Gbam... You see the love movies along with some books? They contributed to my mumuni years... LMAO.

Yes, it is normal to feel that way. I once hated women for 3 years plus because of what one did to me more than 8 years ago... funnily enough, the same girl came back trying to minder her way back into my life. I just told her to FURCK OFF and buried whatever past image of me she has because that person no longer exists. He is dead and buried. She has been trying to get back to me for more than 8 years now but me no want her at all...

You don't need to hate or dislike them. You just have to learn how to discipline them like a stern father would. You deal with them with love but with some level of strictness as well. You can actually deeply love a woman like you used to and at the same time not have your emotions spilled all over the place. It is possible.

Some people can love you, like really, but hardly show it to you. The only way you will know that they love you is through their actions. If you are waiting for words of affirmation, it may never come. You can be like that. It is possible.

Previously I used to talk too much like I said but now, I express it all by actions. That is how I deal with my current babe. I don't say it but I act it.

Like the silly things she did twice, I never had a word of confrontation with her. The second one sef, she was seriously worried. I just dealt with it with no words from me to her but my actions. She has never repeated it till today.

Remember I said my babe is a tough person. She belongs to the category of women who act like men. For me to do something that shook her twice means I am operating at a higher level and at that level, you are a no-bullshit man.

In one of those cases, I made her see that I would do what a man should, I would say and act like a responsible man should and I don't care whether 100 guys are tickling her fancy. If she blows things up, it's all on her, which means I would walk away if it comes to that. And women fear you when they know you can easily replace them if they mess up.

I recently showed her a message from the lady I talked about above who is trying to get back to me. I did it intentionally. Just know how to deal with them and you will be at peace.

Bro, don't think you are more tougher than her


Do you know why she always codedly obey your instructions even though it is always hard and painful for her to endure?


It is because of the dough, and you are calling the shot.


Imagine if you don't have backup, she would have reduce and fling you out to where you belong(not us) but them


Well, in everything, Dough is a prerequisite for every man. It get why.


But it very hurtful that those who don't have will not experience true love, that's the situation we found ourselves.

SmartMen:


My brother,

I saw Shege Banza and Shege Pro Max.

It was so bad that it affected my selfesteem. May God bless one of my friends who stood and tele-guiding me all through it all until my cousin came to fix it properly. The irony is that this friend of mine would give me counsel, I would listen and discard it after but only to come back to him with my broken heart lol. Why? I didn't realize how dangerous it was to assume that women are harmless creatures and I was constantly letting my guards down.

Because I was more about chasing money, I learned everything I could about business and making money and had zero for learning how to handle women.

I paid DEARLY for that error. It is good to make money but at the same time, learn how to handle girls and ladies.

Some years back, one of those girls told me something profound. She said: "you don't understand women and if you don't learn you will continue to have problems with ladies."

I actually brushed those words aside and thought that she was talking nonsense. I thought that just being a nice guy was enough. I thought being a good guy was enough, I thought that being the romantic dude was enough and boy, I was wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I am an upright, focus and responsible dude, the kind that would make an awesome husband to my wife and great dad to my kids but to succeed relationship with women, you need to be much more than that.

The mystery about women is that they expect you to be a man, not a boy but they never accept that responsibility as theirs to teach how to be a man, hence when you act like a crybaby, a sissy, a boy instead of being a man, nature designed women to break hearts of such men until they grow into being a man. When you begin to act like a man around women, your heartbreaks are reduced drastically.

There may be a few heartbreaks here and there, but it would be nowhere near or compared to guys that behave like a boy or sissy. This is where the acclaimed "Bad Boys" or "Alpha Male" takes the lead and one common denominator about them is that they are less emotional about women and when you are less emotional, you have TOTAL control over your relationship with any woman.

When you are less emotional, you can see a guy banging your baby right in your presence. You will feel hurt about it but you will move on without a word and women fear you when you are in control of your emotions. They respect you more that way.

One of the things that ruined me and my chances back then was that I had emotions spilled all over the ground for these women to walk on.

You said something about not loving... Well, I still love but not the way I did in the past. It is possible to love a woman and not have your emotions spilled all over the place. Currently, I don't care if a woman loves me or not. I have a babe now and we are moving towards tying the knot but guess what? I don't care if she loves me or not. I don't worry my head with that anymore. It makes the job easy and I can move on if she messes up.

Do I care about her? I do

Do I want the best for her? I do

Do I value her? I do.

But in all of these, if she messes up right now, I will walk away without looking back. This is why I said in the post you quoted that I fixed her up without saying a word when she did something silly and she has never repeated it till today but if it was my older self, I would be writing epistle, calling, and all that nonsense.

That is the power of not being emotional about women. My babe is a tough person to deal with and I know that the older version of me couldn't or wouldn't be able to handle someone like her. You need to be at a higher level to deal with someone like that.

Since I found myself, I have walked out of 5 or more ladies. Unlike before when I would be "trying to make it work, begging, sending long messages, calling and talking for hours and days". Now if you mess up, I will just observe for a while and walk away without saying anything to you.

We have same similarities


Everything you mention was just me, but they only thing I didn't share with you was been a sisi. I learnt on time not lower my self on women maybe because of the area I was brought up. I learnt the art of O.T when I was young, not until I entered school, I said No. That child of man has a lot of love. I started looking out for love.i was very sincere and open. It cost me a lot. I couldn't even get one. Before I now realise myself and changed tactics . No be today our girls learnt that there is nothing like love.


Guys should not be deceive by the rubbish love movies they watch,nothing come out, they are just passing away their time and trying to confuse the gullible ones that their love. No woman on earth believe in love,except your pocket is preaching love.

But I am in a serious dilemma because it has hardened and toughened my heart, I see women on a different perspective other than the beautiful lovely souls I thought they were.

SmartMen:
Throw away emotions and look at things logically. Attraction is very important in a relationship. Can you date or marry someone that looks like a monkey? be sincere and answer that question.

IF your answer is NO, it is not because you hate the person it is just that you don't find them attractive.

Also, attraction is relative and it can be that the man here does not have a good fashion sense which makes him look unattractive to women. I used to be in this category, not that I am ugly or have unattractive features, I had those features (height, broad shoulders, nice hairline, well-shaped red lips, but I didn't give it much attention.

I paid dearly for that error for years. It was rejection upon rejection to the point that I thought less of myself when it came to women because it affected my self-esteem.

I was more interested in making money so much that I didn't give much thought to how I presented myself to the opposite gender. And like this OP here, I would give money to girls that I am trying to woo... BROTHER, IT NEVER WORKED and you can see the OP is already saying that despite the man giving her money, she didn't find him attractive. MONEY CAN NOT BUY A WOMAN.

Though, I wasn't giving money cos I wanted to use it to buy love (though the ladies back then thought I was doing it cos I wanted to buy them). It is just who I am cos I love to give. I had to stop doing it (giving money) to ladies I am interested in when I sensed how they perceived the gesture.

I will tell you what worked for me as you read along.

If you are struggling with ladies or constantly being rejected, you should read this to the end.

Then my cousin came from Benin and stayed with me for one year. He gave me a complete 360 orientation that changed EVERYTHING.

Before he came, I used to expend so much energy trying to win a lady, I talked too much, explained too much, and professed emotions that were counterproductive.

There was even a Nairaland lady too that I tried to woo then but it didn't pan out well, na fight end the matter sha. I am just stating this so that you know it is not some made-up shit.

Whenever I talk about my experience with Nigerian ladies, you will hardly hear anything good. It was that bad. lol.

Now, to change this, most of what people share here is secondary... First, get your attraction game UP and the rest will come.

Anyway, my cousin didn't share any of those red pills stuff. He just told me to upgrade my physical look and watch. His method was more effective than anything I have ever read and he also demonstrated it for me to see.

I rarely went out and he forced me to change that...Not going out more often is why I even used to focus on just one lady for months while repeatedly getting rejected like a plague. .

When my cousin forced me to go out more, he forced me to go to church more (Lukily, we have the biggest church in my local government close to my house), and one thing that did to me was seeing that there are unlimited supply of pretty ladies, more gorgeous than what you could be chasing previously.

If you find yourself spending months on one lady, or a year trying to win and still get rejected, my brother, it is because you narrowed your vision. Change that and attend any big church or even be at a busy place like Shoprite mall, events, weddings. I give you just 5 minutes and the number of pretty women you will see or meet will rewire your brain so much that you will curse yourself for spending unproductive time on just one when there is an unlimited supply of prettier ladies out there.

The only downside is that if you don't have discipline and control, it could destroy you by making you sleep with numerous women. This is the major reason some men sleep with many women out there. It is like stumbling on so much money and then losing control by spending it recklessly.

To tell you how potent attraction is, by the time my cousin had helped me rebrand and I started uploading my pictures on WhatsApp status,(previously I didn't), one lady who had never seen me more upload my picture more than 4 times in 5 years confessed... she said and I quite "Smartmen, is this you? Is this really you?"

Another lady whom I met on Twitter but that one also reacted to my picture for the FIRST time in about 3 years we have known... and she has been doing that since then till now, even on Sunday here, she reacted to the one I posted.

People tell you that women are moved by what they hear... That is false. WOMEN ARE MOVED BY WHAT THEY SEE. If they don't see it, they don't move.

Now, I have had to start rejecting them back as they lurk around me. Na me dey reject them now... I know one who rarely checked my status previously but now does so everyday, commenting on everything I post.

If you are getting rejected by women or struggling, just UPGRADE: Spend that money on new clothes, buy iPhone and hold... tusssh up your apartment, get a good barber for a nice haircut, take nice pictures, and upload... ATTRACT, don't chase. na you go tire.

You only speak too much English and long paragraphs when you don't know how to attract. I used to write long epistles to some of these girls like one expired substandard Wole Soyinka as if I am writing a novel... They will even subtly tell me I talk too much by saying "wow you can write o" and I will be smiling and raising shoulder like I have made it in life, not knowing I was fooling myself.

Now, I don't even know the last time I wrote a long epistle... even when my current babe did something silly, I fixed her up immediately WITHOUT SAYING A SINGLE word. Unlike before when I would be writing long letter like apostle paul to the church in Damascus.... foolish me.

You must have seen Shege


Anyway i like how you remodelled yourself


Money plays a major role in men's life. Look attractive, don't talk too much..all those ones that were doing you shege will bounce back. But the only disadvantage you will have is * Lovehatred* I mean you won't love again. Any lady that comes with love will just be repulsing you

If you are scared to start. You are bound to fail!


I understand people's fear. But you won't continue lamenting because of people's dishonesty. You will not achieve anything, you will end up squandering the 2m.


I took time to read people's comments, No one gave you an alternative...this is to tell you the decline and depletive ideas of black people. No creativity! Give them 500k, they won't know what to do with it.


My friend, This is my honest advice. It is a good thing you have a passion for it, which is an added advantage.


What kills business is, if you don't have passion for it, Go for what you have passion for even if the business is an odd business. As you will develop joy doing the business.


Start up the business, and involve your cousin, since she has ideas and is knowledgeable about the business, she should be involved in the procurement of all salon equipment and accessories. Two of you can do that.

Once procurement of equipment is done. You should have a meeting with her, not only a verbal meeting, it must be a written agreement, and the meeting must centred on the blueprint of how the business is going to run.


You must also include a day-to-day briefing on the progress, successes and failures of the business. She must be giving you daily briefings. with this approach, you will be a strong pillar of the business, and you can be able to be in charge while she runs the business.


You must also employ a creative lady who will support her, let it not be your girlfriend or your sister, her job is to support your cousin, she can be able to handle the job and do all the things your cousin is doing. This method will eliminate any form of gap that will arise if your cousin should have an emergency to travel.


All other direct workers will be recruited by your cousin, she knows how many hands she needs due to the strength of the business.


Make sure that there is a chain of command. You don't have any business talking to other direct workers, if there is a need for them to talk to you, they can report to the second in command while, she reports to your cousin, who in turn your cousin reports to you. With this, there will be confidence and respect, and everyone will sit up.


If the business starts and is getting up to 6 months or one year and peradventure you notice dishonesty from your cousin due to inconsistencies and dubious means, you can easily lay her off, while her second takes over, but if not, continue with her, until the business booms which will yield more salons to be opened in future.


This is also an added advantage "Never sleep with your workers, not even your second in command"


I wish you success as you succeed!

yarimo:
ALEX OTTI is the worst and the most unserious governor in Nigeria

Mkpi!

Brighton1:
Nose mask 😷 no dey work jare.
During Covid-19 period, person mess inside danfo bus nd i smell the mess loud and clear even as I wear nose mask
E get another scenario wey happen again for God is Good park during dat Covid-19 period, one lady open her food na once I knw say na ewa-agoyin she dey eat evn as I wear nose mask
Shey dis nose mask dey work like dis?

Jennyclay answer him na

chopnaira:
Epe is in Yoruba land. People do voice over in their local languages in their own regions too. If you don't like it, you can always mute your video.

I thought Awolowo introduced education in the West


Why are you guys behaving uneducated Sri Lanka.

Shettima carries bad luck. Everything Tinubu touched is always on destruction.


God forbid!

Bluntguy:
While your husband is grateful to God for giving you to him as the wife of his youth, you are here on Nairaland regretting up and down on why you did not multiply your body count before settling down. You see the reason why a lot of men talk down on Nigerian girls? Spits!!!

Are you advising someone her name is Horney22


Me too I spit on your bald head


Don't you know someone's name follows the person.

Na Atiku i blame


For not spotting fake friends around him

Horney of Ife viewing this thread.

churro:
the Father couldn't find his phone same time his son went missing.

What of the mother?

churro:
Cos He can't find his phone, probably.

Wow, Wow, Wow.


So parents don't have pictures of their children in their own personal phones again...


What kind of parenting are we practicing again?

They should use clearer pics and circulate as soon as possible

speedy0420:
When young girls develop into their teenage years, they begin to realize more and more how easy it is for them to get their way with the things of life just because of their LOOKS

And when they finally realize how powerful that tool at their disposal truly is, they rely on it full force because
1. It's easy and
2. Their parents (most especially the mothers) encourage it and even gives them fine tuned instructions on how they can use it to get their way with daddy and the boys in her area/school. This will even make her mastery of her craft even faster and easier

However, this comes at a cost
Her total investment into mastering the power of her looks will make her (almost always intentionally) neglect the other more difficult but more rewarding and long lasting ways of getting the things you want in life e.g. becoming smarter and more analytical in solving problems

Why should she strive to become the top dog in her class and win the Scholarship money so that she can buy that dress/purse she's being eyeing for a long time when she can just latch onto one mumu boy that will give her all the money she wants just necause she's pretty and he doesn't wanna lose her? (Whereas he never had her in the first place)

Hence her higher faculties degrade and she gradually loses the ability to critically think.
She will increase in her mastery of craftiness in confusing men, but she will lose intelligence in other fields.
That is why you always see them around topics on sex, relationships.and so on. That's the only place they know whats up

This trend continues through their teenage years into their 20s and it blooms into the way they like to use SM nowadays to advertise their wares and seek attention

When they clock 27-30 and their looks start winding down, they will revert back to their original settings (since the power of their looks are gone now) and they immediately adopt a new facade to get their way, Religion.

A religious mask if well worn will make people not judge her and also trust and like her more, and that is a good thing because a person who trusts you will want to do favours for you e.g. suggesting marriage to the unsuspecting man who thinks he has finally found a gem whereas it's a game she's been playing since she was 13.

The only way to halt this Trainwreck of a situation from developing is if a strong external force (aka a highly disciplined father/father figure) forces her to stop depending on her looks to get her way and actually make her develop her mental faculties. This is why the geeky girls in medicine and engineering tend to be way less slutty than their counterparts studying fine art and music in the university (no offence to the artists and musicians out there)

Wow. You must be intelligent.


You explained it all. In fact, you must be Chinua Achebe. It was as if I was reading an interesting novel.


Now back to the topic. I know you will have the answer to this since you gave us a comprehensive problem/ or root cause facing girls of these days.


Now what are the solutions?

Is it still possible for single guys to get married to girls with a high IQ, and if Yes. Where do we find them?


Or are we going to end up with all these dummies littering around?


What does the future hold for us?

Varunpulyani:
Asin ehhhh mass poverty to give birth to yarimo

See them below

cocolacec:
Rent your mum a new place and stay with her there to love and cherish her.Let your wife be.Your mum doesnt need any drama from a non challant daughter-in-law.
Have some dignity as a man.There no pride in bringing your mum to stay in your wife's house.Live with your mum in the new place you rent for her and occassionally visit your wife,take your children to visit or stay with your mum once in a while.

Op...i like this advice.


I think this is the best. But don't tell your wife your intention. Just do it..maybe anytime you want to sleep over just tell your wife, you won't be coming back that you will spend the night with your mother.


If she decide to raise eyebrows that you went to see one of your girls... you can do video call and show her a glimpse of your mum. I did not say you should give your mum phone to talk to her. ( coz it seems she don't want to see or have anything to do with your mum)


Never discuss your wife attitude to your mum...coz it might make her develop health issues and die quickly...her concern will be that how will you be faring living in that kind of house and also your mum been in the wrong hands and how she is not been love from someone that is suppose to be her protector.


And most importantly...take this advice very serious. Have a plan B. ( Because of tomorrow)


You can't see you might be lonely during your old age. She is likely not to take care of you or despise you at your old age.


But above all... Your wife is lovely just that she was spoilt by her rich parents.

YourGFsnatcher:
Thankx boss

Treat am well ooo...no go use sharia law kill am

YourGFsnatcher:
We are both from the north

Fantastic. You have my permission.

Congratulations

YourGFsnatcher:
Unfortunately she's not igbo. But e for make mad sense. After like 80% of the girls I dated are igbo, my sister marry igbo, I come end up with this isi aki girl

Where are you from? Where is she from?

YourGFsnatcher:
I am not igbo, but I'd rather wear this on my wedding day than wear a white man's culture

You have our permission. Go on.


It would be more sweet if your wife to be will be Igbo.

misano:
Don't mind those yeye SW people. They call South when things are bad but run to the north when they want to cheat the entire South

I am telling you. These people must be deadly.

UnknownT:
You are an idiot, no difference between you and the Almajiri they used religion to deceive over there too.
It was Obi yesterday, Wike today, it could be you tomorrow, you should know that my post is a rallying call to the Southerners cos irrespective of party, the North always align on religion. My post has nothing to do with Wike or support for Wike, he can as well go and fuccckkk himself

Go and eat shit...idioota!!!
..

Which Southern support...Oga dey ur lane. Bunch of hypocritical deceiver foxes and hyenas.



You think una emotional support will sail.

UnknownT:
The same way they lied against Peter Obi that he demolished Mosques when he was a Governor, they have started that same agenda against Wike on Twitter that he also demolished Mosques in Rivers State when he was a governor
Because they know they have idiotssss who will readily believe any nonsense they dish out against Southern politicians

Why bringing Obi in this context..Are you now defending Wike. If you are Igbo...A very big shame on you.


Una no dey get sense...they dey use una dey do turn turn.

Any Southerner that will fall for this must not see the two full moons ahead.


You will die immediately... When I say Southerners.I mean Igbos.


Allow them to fight their shit... don't fight for Wike. I know we are too emotional.

Allow them to fight their battles... because once the election comes again...you will see them unite again and lampoon you.


The last election taught us a big lesson. Wike is on his own.



Let Agbados fight for him...he is their new darling daddy. Slayer of IPOB.

juman:
Hiss.
Dont be an idiot.
When you tavel to another place dont behave as if you are in your village.
Jogging in big city as a female where she is "foreigner". She was mad.

As a man I cant go to another state and be jogging.
Insecurity is high in most places.

Can you go to America or Canada to do your morning jogging?