₦airaland Forum

tabithababy:
. See who dey talk. Are you married now??

Aunty how does my marital status bring down the price of original garri ijebu?

Abeg park well make people see road.

davidif:
Its not about being smart, its about being transparent.

You still have not answered my first question. How would you feel if you were the side dude in a relationship?

There is nothing like side dude here...

This is not about me but about her...no lady should keep two dates so stop twisting my write up...a lady should remain SEXUALLY faithful and disciplined with one man but keeping her option open means not flaunting that guy in her life or singing to every guy that comes her way that she is taken but must learn how to maintain surface and cordial friendship with other suitors....is this too hard to decipher?

AreaFada2:
Girls already know this and many are playing it accordingly.

This year alone, I know 6 girls who have married almost suddenly. Only one of them I even knew had a boyfriend, not even fiance.

One just plastered her social media wall with marriage pics last Saturday. Her bf pic appeared on her wall just a week ago. Methinks the must have been dating for at least months if not years.

The advice the OP suggests have negative consequences. Like girls keeping several "insurance" side dudes. The keep them tagging along, she'd grant occasional sexual favours. Maybe once a month or so.

That may contribute to the already high rate of firstborn kids belonging to another man outside. Since she might keep doing it until just before marriage. A baby born 9 months later can belong to anyone.

The only negative consequence is that ladies of easy virtue may misconstrue this piece to mean dating and sleeping with different guys...

Just as you wrote...some ladies have sudden weddings and that is exactly my point...I don't see why one clueless dude will be dating a lady of marriageable age for donkey years and she will foolishly tag along in the name of courtship. ...

But by maintaining cordial and peripheral friendship with prospective suitors she just might excape the clueless guy...

When I was dating my ex,after 6years of courtship she started showing me chats from guys who are just her friends asking her to marry them....that jolted me to realize that I had to make a move...

If as a lady you have just one guy you desire so much who seem to be unserious and you have other guys who seem to be ready to marry you and your guy seem to be just unserious...I see no reason why you should not port yourself rather than continue wasting your time...

davidif:
So its fine for your girl to be dating you and 3 other guys at the same time because she wants to "keep her options open?".

If you are not smart enough to know that a lady can be with just a guy yet tactfully keep her options open then I'm sorry I can't help you out.

The mistake many ladies make is that they lack the ability to maintain surface friendship but once they are into one guy...to them every other guy does not exist which should not be so...

Quinn22:
There's nothing wrong in saying "I'm taken".....It simply means i'm in a relationship, they are boundaries, we can only be friends, no hard feelings.

My point exactly....but must you sing it that you are in a relationship? what relationship if I may ask? dating or courtship? whoever created those terms understand that it is a way of still saying I'm single....If you are not single then you are married...

Tell a guy you fancy you can be friends....simple...that is a smart way of keeping your options open rather than shutting the door on yourself with a guy who is not married to you by flaunting him and singing it to every guy that you are taken...who take you?

davidif:
Pathetic thread. Encouraging women to cheat. How low of you.

Its no wonder so many women are confused when its time to settle down: they have been playing the field for so long forgetting that a life of deceit eventually comes to bite you.

Lol! so you are not smart enough to know that you don't have to cheat to keep your option open...this is serious...Smartness is a gift only few people have.

DIKEnaWAR:
You are just naive, bitter and pained with that rejection. Go for another lady, she is not the only one. Instead you came here to open a disgraceful thread. If that girl that told you she was taken(that made you open this nonsense thread)had agreed for you, I am sure you'd have asked her to sample your picture upandan.

Maturity is learning to hurt quietly and bravely. Now apologise to your family for disgracing their name and money wasted on you.

Who be this one?...*finds rope*

Abeg someone should look for a strong rope for me to tie this fellow before he goes completely naked...

Nna biko chere. .. nah creativity in writing so don't go bizeerk.

Chommieblaq:
I might agree with the over flaunting of pictures but not with option part.
It's just like stringing two people along. You might end up loosing all.
Na so unfaithfulness dey take start, unnecessary comparison and confusion.
No one is perfect, know what you want and stick to it.

You can stick to one guy yet keep your options open by making good friends with your suitors rather than singing the ...I'm taken lyrics...

Impeller:
No matter how handsome a guy is, he can never get likes for his profile picture on nairaland.

That is not true...but I Don dash you a like

supernet4:
Y didn't u mention my name
Am I not a lady ni?

Oh swerrie. ..no be so...I am actually compiling the female monikers from page 1 till date and those are extracts from page 1 to 21...

A si MA pe yin ko ti kon yi...lol!

Bawoni...

pocohantas:
Oh Lawd!
Which rule women go follow now...I done confuse sef.

https://www.nairaland.com/3753080/get-marriage-proposal-women-should <<<This thread was trying to say same thing...women should keep their options open, though it advised women to sleep with multiple men, which is wrong. Without reading through or getting its implicit meaning, lots of people started bashing, calling it advanced oloshoism.

I don't support unnecessary flaunting, but I am all for full concentration is a relationship. When you keep the so called options open, you make room from distractions. Humans are emotional beings...slowly, things begin to go wrong.

When you tactfully leave your options open,it does not mean you will start sleeping with different men..

firstking01:
Hmmmm, i think the write up is a food for thought but op, telling a nigerian girl this is just like coming to say that lionel messi is better than ronaldo which is the blunt truth and far too obvious to argue about...i always tell my female colleagues, until a man pays your bride price still keep your options open...i don't even know were this engagement, dating and courting thing came from sef cos it's not even in the bible....in the olden days if you see a young damsel/virgin(as it's what they used to adress a young girl in the days of our fathers and mothers), you just make enquiry about her parents and before you know you guys are getting married....and most times you are only meant to see each other on an approval occations by both parents not to talk of having sex, but today the world don spoil.

Aye ti dori kodo.

tosyne2much:
Egbon Toks, I need someone who can counter this thread.. I mean "when a guy says, I'm taken"

You hardly hear guys say that...even after marriage lol!

This classic is dedicated to all the lovely single ladies on this thread....from nairaland dudes...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-EO5I60KA




CC:
Lilyqueeny Pearly255 ahahnow Lindaangel Esepayne kennygee 2dugged VickyRotex jbaby265 Flawlesbae Vivipop
NotOfThis Juliearth TonieLee Titugirl funmisticqueen MISSOPTIMIST forever24 Sparkles003 UjSizzle darbeelicous yemsai Ezionye debbie223 Oyind17 Lucasinho xqzytchyca Neroski GEExclusive Divay22 femsheart lefulefu octopusfreaky busybeei5 Xiadnat Safiaa
paybak Nomfanelo99 alexialin kimbra
Alero3Arubi Elsielex Bumbae1 UIA04 rane06 olasaad
FelixFelicia Dfinex ikp120 blessedgal
Countrygirl and the rest...

Have a great week ahead.

.

Pricelessp:
Tooks2008 answer me biko Tooks2008 answer me biko

.

You are welcome but first let's know if you are 25 years or above.

Omotayor123:
I'm Taken

Ifahia

refiner:
U called younglawya,a fellow guy like u...pretty face.

Oh typo error..I wanted to quote MhizTenderly

BNew:
Post update na.
This thread don dey die o.

Lol...updated

Aderola15:
Lmaoooooo
You must be uncle zoned
Ripe for wetin, I'm taken biko.

Lalasticlala abi you are also taken?

refiner:
Lol...calling ur fellow guy,pretty face?...pheeew

Anyway...sorry for my comment here...i was only replying a guy that mentioned me...

Younglawya...i'm no teenager!!!

Fellow guy as as how? you be Transgender?

Aderola15:
We are waiting uncle Toks.

Who be your uncle? me and you relate? abeg go and register your presence on this thread fast... https://www.nairaland.com/3745111/single-guys-above-30-single cos nah your type we dry find there and from what I see you don't ripe ...and if I hear "I'm taken"?

You ask an obviously unmarried lady out and she says "sorry I'm in a relationship" and many ladies will quickly change their status on their social media handle to...."in a relationship or Engaged" ...worse still some will go as far as putting up the pics of a man who is not yet officially theirs and I keep wondering what goes on in the minds of some ladies ..

Shall we call that being faithful or being naive?

Every lady reading this should wake up and understand that until a man is officially married to you,he can not be trusted in anyway and that a man is even engaged to you does not guaranty marriage

Each time you tell a guy who asks you out that you are taken while still unmarried,you are simply shutting the door on yourself too soon and many ladies have shut out their husbands simply because they got carried away by an unserious man who is only good at mouthing their love and giving them forlorn hope.

Don't get it twisted, this is not about being unfaithful to that particular guy you truly desire but it is about tactfully leaving your options open by not flaunting him on or offline thereby driving away possibly more willing suitors.

Many ladies remain taken for years without wedding bells and I have seen several ladies who have been engaged for years.

The bottom line is that you should stop flaunting any guy you are courting and only flaunt your husband

Ladies should stop blocking their chance cos In the real world...there is no in between and there is no such word like "I'm taken" while you are still unmarried.

You are either single or married

Don't know if this makes sense.

younglawya:
Doesn't seem so. Just a lot of random chitchat. Very few babe's have their pics here. The only one that seems to have is refiner. She looks like a teenager

Pretty face how are you?

25 and above?

Sorry I need to always ask this question for the sake of the thread?

refiner:
Lol...is it because of d potruding neck bone?...i've added lots of weight that i'm currently sheding now but my neck bone always protrude...


Thanks for ur concern...

For the sake of this thread sorry if I may ask...Are you 25 or above? cos this face looks too young to be.

Happy Sunday to the Christian singles...

busybeei5:
I love this comment

Why you no go like am?
Even on your wattsup dp you still hide take pics lol!

Neroski:
The irony of it all from my observation is that a good number of the guys clamouring for the ladies to put up DPs don't even have a profile picture of themselves. Excuse me please, are the ladies some kind of wares to be displayed by force by fire Its a matter of choice. If u dnt like the "masquerade crew" jump and pass. You guys are just thinking one sided. The last time I checked, it's a thread for both single men and women. Do you men think its only you that has sole right to do the "checking out'' alone? Abi una think say we(ladies) no get eye for beta thing too!!!
Abeg forget all that talk, we are bigger than this. Let people be please!

And for the "if I don't have picture I am not confident of myself" crew, i think it is rather vain to attribute a mere picture with confidence.Weh Don Sirs!

You have a good point but then there are loopholes and I will explain.

Simply put...Guys do the searching which is why the Bible says "who so finds a wife"....now even if a man wants to start as friends....he go still search and he needs to have an idea of wettin he Wan go close to....

As a lady even if you see a guy's dp the best you can do is to PM him IF you feel like getting to know him but some imature guys may see it as approaching a guy which is why most ladies don't do that

What am I implying? Guys really don't have to put up their dp cos they "don't really expect to be approached" while ladies seriously ought to have a dp so that they can be seen and possibly approached by any guy who likes them.

I don't know if I'm making sense..

Prettythicksmi:
wow wow wow wow wow wow wow

So this is achievement....her mates are achieving better things in life..she is here flaunting a depritiating item...GOD HELP SOME LADIES

ellahzy:
How can a full grown man be blabbing like an idiot.
Insulting his wife everyday only makes him more stupid.

Did he mention the wife's name?

Nigerians and busy bodies...

SPEEDEPITOME:
A while back, I saw a guy on here that I thought I could be friends with because from his posts he stays in an area I just moved to. I sent him a PM, his reply was 'I don't do Nairaland girls'. I told him I just wanted to be friends. He asked how I got to know he stayed around that area, I told him I read his posts.
Guess what he said next? 'Quit stalking me, idiot'. I've never been more embarrassed my whole life.
so don't blame me if I don't send any guy PM on here or any platform for that matter.

While I agree that the guy's case is a peculiar one ..ladies must understand this fact....A MAN AND WOMAN CAN NOT BE JUST FRIENDS...except they are colleagues at work or of an organization or just platonic hi hi level.

The mistakes many ladies make is believing a guy can just be friends with you...HELL NO!

Offline hook up is just same as online....a guy sees you...likes what he sees and approaches you for friendship or tomance..

Its the same online...If you have your pics on your profile then be ready to have a guy who likes your appearance to PM you but you can't be anonymous and then send a PM to a guy who may latter not fancy you.

Ladies must get this fact right here and now...GUYS HARDLY WASTE TIME BEING FRIENDS WITH A LADY THEY DON'T FANCY...Quote me anywhere.

If you can't display your pics for guys who fancy you to see and make that first move then you should be ready to be possibly ignored by any guy you PM...that's how it goes.

Guys are visual so show yourself and let those who like your look PM you...this has nothing to do with desperation but it's called maturity without hypocrisy...

Many mature ladies and guys are dieing of boredom yet they still form and pretend...taaarh!

Jman06:
I'll honestly advise you not to try making the first move on a guy next time. Never mind all these guys encouraging you to. It doesn't work that way! Guys are wired to go for the chase while ladies are to make all the 'shakara'. That's the normal natural arrangement. If you did biology in sec school, you would have noticed that in genetic crossing females are represented with a straight symbol while males are represented with a bent symbol pointing towards the female's direction. If you want to hold your head high in the relationship, let the guys chase you not the other way.

Sending a PM is not first move dude but only mature minded guys will appreciate it.

Pearl005:
This sounds funny to me. I can easily decide if I'm interested in you from the way you chat, if it's just friendship. If it's more than that, I keep on chatting with you and If you get a "pass" in that aspect, I can then be interested in your looks...

For a lady YES but guys are very visual..we mostly react to what we see.