₦airaland Forum

LordIsaac:
How about Akure? Is their light ok? Cost of living?

When I mean ondo state I'm referring to Akure the capital

this poco lady, iffa give am knock 4 head eh!

Funny ladies. My grandma wey hustle throughout never came with the mentality of my grandpa must feed her.
Everybody dey work to put things together.
That's how she trained her daughter's.
I was working in my aunt house at around 11pm I was still on my system same with my aunt and her husband already went to sleep.
Naso I doze off, she woke me up around 12am to go inside and rest.
I went to sleep and woke up 6am my aunt don cook food for the family, she don zoom off with her car to work.
I went to ikorodu to see my second aunt alhaja. I met her husband at home and I waited till she came back from office.

God bless ijebu/Eko Epe women. The best in world
What we have now are below standard we just dey manage them.

Gadafii:
Boya make Dem forget about the road and commit that money to an industry or venture that will employ more Nigerians and out food on their tables instead of taken from the already impoverished people, 3k per toll is crazy to be honest, for a country of 30k minimum wage

If you don't want the toll, use the train.

Ondo state (Akure) people are very greedy and crazy. Mostly those ones around Futa area.
Dollar no dey obey gravity 4 dat side at all.

Food so expensive, despite the rubbish wey those women dey cook. Just chop rice and beans 4 morning you don spend ₦1.5k.

God bless mama toyin wey dey sell food with conscience. No light in that state, they use this Benin electricity (BEDC).
Na Dem first start to sell pure water 3 ₦100 while cold one 2 ₦100.

No sensible job in that state, Dem just wan use Inflation kill themselves self.
Thank God I'm back to Lagos (Saner Clime)

I'm still waiting waiting for cement price to go back to its normal price.
Abi , dangote, bua, ibeto, elephant and their colleague dey craze?

Kingju:
Till you try BEDC you go know say IBEDC be like luxury sef

BEDC useless gan pass IBEDC

ajebuter:
No wonder Mowe people dey nack Dem juju

Never visited that place and see light

Even werey lKDC in Lagos dey give us at least 10 hours a day instead of 16 hours as Band B users

Una Fada

Did they increased the tariff for band B users?
Proudly band C opor! ✌️

slaawomirr:
Damnnn niggar

Normally

All sectors just dey lose guard for this country

How I wish tcn go also tell Benin electricity distribution company this same thing

Benin electricity Na one of the worst.
I wonder why ondo state dey use Benin electricity.
No light everywhere until I returned back to Lagos to enjoy light.

Firefly2017:
h

I don't have problem providing. But what I want to avoid is any lady with the slightest form of entitlement.

bukatyne:
@bold:

Often times, most parties want to eat their cake and have it. A man wants a 'supportive, understanding' wife until it is time to pick up chores, childcare,set boundaries with his family,be faithful or involve his wife in decision making then he suddenly remembers he is a 'man'.

If you want a marriage when all resources (money, time, assets) etc are treated as one, then both parties must put in their all and be on their best behaviour; no cheating, no bullying, no making decisions to the detriment of the other, no leaving one person to do all the chores, no maltreatment of in-laws, no in-laws who lack boundaries, no one person's life on hold for the other, no one person overburdened by finances or chores, no abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, financial, sexual) etc. You get the idea.

To be honest, a number of women are insistent on a man who provides to cover up their numerous defects. The man probably doesn't give her peace or isn't useful any other way so they make do with the money.

Like my people say, one can't suffer in two ways.

Yes I understand what you meant. Agreed 100%

bukatyne:


Epe women are the major financers even in a polygamous marriages. So not surprised

My grandfather has two wives.
Both are well to do. Reason why my dad sisters are doing well today financially in their husband's house.
So I don't even understand what these ladies are saying, my grandparents are old fashioned too.

pocohantas:
Hahaha. I know right, because I wonder why they can't stay away from someone they claim to hate, that supposedly hates them too. I have decided to starve them of the interraction until they become submissive and respectful.

That lady has been through a lot. I am short of words. Let me go check IG

Dem dey give you zobo, you sef dey drink am.

See dis 1

Proserpina:
You are no where near being a smarty-pants if you do not realize that I typed figuratively. And you are being dishonest if you admit that when "send back to her father's house" does not mean she will be going to her father's house but can't apply the same logic to my comment.

No I can't feed, as nah you dey feed me Smarty-pants indeed . Get out!

Smartypants don't mind her she can't feed herself.
It's from father's house with multiple boyfriend straight to husband house.
Na their way bedat.

folake4u:
Lol. The guy said he can't feed his wife. How you wan take fuçk your wife without providing food on the table which is the barest minimum?

Food and Sex go hand in hand though. If the wife isn't well fed, she won't be able to do whatever in za oda room.

I never said at any point that I won't feed my family.
I definitely provide food at home, what im saying is that her daily feeding as a human being is not a civil right she ought to demand that I provide.
She can as well buy food to feed herself if she's craving what is not in my domain.
Marry me with the mentality that I must feed you is a crazy entitlement.
Please don't misquote me.

NairaMaster1:
She's right. We are Africa.

I'm from Lagos state Epe that's not the culture I met with my grandmother. (RIP)

Proserpina:
Now I want to believe you are trolling.

A piece of advice for you though, please stay single.

Thanks

If I give woman Belle and she try to comot am, I go sue am straight!
I go show am pepper.

Proserpina:
Infact tollyboy5 you must take your wife to Maldives every three months


That cry unna wan cry, una go cry am tire today

Na you I go marry insha Allah.
You go see pepper walai
Shebi you be foodu, no worry you chop well b4 marriage. After then I go open yah eyes.

Proserpina:
I tell you this you are not ready to take up a woman's responsibility but you want her to share in yours... It is well

1) If the food she eat is my responsibility, what will be her own responsibility?

Lol... I'm not jealous, I don't envy the petty trader at all .

Some of you quantify and monetize everything that you question your women's duties in marriage. I hope you stop that because you may not really enjoy your marriages if you continue that way.

Look I'm not nice like my dad.
I know what I want from a lady.

A woman can support you, most women if not all do because the truth is most men in Nigeria can't shoulder 100% financial responsibilities in their families. In this economy? Lol.
Women have been doing this without any noise but it is still the same you that comes online to create posts and make noise.

God bless those that did without much noise. Why problem is the unprepared attitude. I don't want that.

It's the entitlement that I really find annoying here. The fact that women are helping you financially doesn't mean it is their jobs or their responsibilities or you should demand more. So please don't feel entitled and stay away from marriage if you are not ready to accept that it is your duty to provide for and protect your family.

She's not helping to feed herself. If she leave my house I will cope well. She's an extra expenses on me.
Feeding yourself as an adult is not helping your boyfriend or husband

Proserpina:
All these are financial responsibilities and you have already stated that you want your woman to share as a co-provider.

I was not talking about other expenses. If you read all my past comment you noticed I focus on feeding.
Food! Why will a woman feel I must feed her everyday or give her feeding money when it does not involve me and my children.
You've missed my point, the lady said a man must feed her.
That's crazy, reason why I said a woman who can't feed herself should not even get married

Proserpina:
All these are financial responsibilities and you have already stated that you want your woman to share as a co-provider.

So tell me will you be taking up some of your woman's traditional roles to balance up?

At bolded lol... You have to ask your good women o. I don tell you before say me dey very dependent I don't know.

That so simple. You're a professional house wife.
I will rather go for a petty trader than going for a professional house wife. But I know you're just joking lol.

Proserpina:
I find your response so funny... You are dancing round the question to avoid a definite answer.

You are not taking responsibility, you won't share domestic chores or as someone put it emotional/nurturing responsibilities with your woman. You don't mind to outsource on income you are still dragging your wife to assist with it or on something as indefinite as getting a family from village . I like you , you love to play safe.

Ah.... Your wife go hear am.

Walai you no serious. A woman living under my shade and you feel I'm not responsible enough?
The washing machine, tv Seth, mixer, rice cooker and other stuff I put in the house are not being responsible?
Who fix electrical fault or change switches bulb?
The electricity bills who pays it?
Other contribution is whose responsibility?
The inverter maintenance and the 24hours light she get is by who's effort?
Who will pay children school fees if not me?
Do you think I need a woman to wash my clothes with washing machine lol ?

Please tell what support is a woman meant to give her husband. Please tell me let me know.

Proserpina:
Your decision o.

Are you ready/willing to PARTNER with a co-providing woman?

Or you want a woman to share financial responsibility with you while she maintains her traditional roles?

Apart from traditional obligations before marriage.
Once we're married there's nothing like traditional role in my domain.
She need to be responsible and I also need to protect and guide my family.
I don't rule out getting a younger extended family from the village to help with some activities.
I also wish to sponsor people's children.

Proserpina:
That one is not my business...nah you go marry / impregnate her

You for leave her for her papa house to eat free food.

If I dey dat kin unpleasant situation. When pikin grow small.
I go go court collect pikin from am.

Proserpina:
As a man do not get married if you are not ready to provide.

It's as simple as that.

Normal, but a woman who can't feed herself before marriage is not worthy to be mother.

ufotunang:
They did not even wear life jacket...in Nigeria we do not take safety and personal safety serious and safety measures

You can't try that in Lagos you'll be arrested.

tefishy:
That driver was over-confident and over confidence causes a lot of accident. No life jacket put on also. You are driving a boat with such speed and still posing to camera. An eye witness pointed that the driver didn't spot an incoming boat which was what resulted to the accident. Pathetic

He should be arrested for this. You have no life jacket and you dey ride boat.

Proserpina:
Lol... I know it's not easy to pay house rent because I pay house

Your mum turned to a nag because of what life threw at her and it's pitiable to see how you treated her after raising you. Like you told your mom to go back to her father's house? Lol interesting. Do not overstretch a woman's capability and still expect her to be calm, loving and gentle. She will develop a coping mechanism on the long run and that's when she becomes a demon or leech in your sight.

A woman can support you financially but she's not to provide . However there are also women out there who will share financial responsibility with you on a percentage but are you willing to PARTNER with them in your marriage? You will have to share all responsibilities and leadership in your marriage,are you up for it. If no, you can't eat your cake and have it. If yes, good for you. Find such women.

We're saying the same thing from different angle.
Some women when they give 20% they feel like they're being overstretched because they were not prepared for that.
That's the major problem. Someone like you who pay for rent will appreciate a guy with a building.
Where you can use the half of what you use to used to pay for rent to contribute to your home.
But a lady who has not feed herself b4 marriage, when married she's going to think she's doing too much when she starts contributing 30% to the family.
I dont count sex as contribution.
These days I'm more interested in what a lady does for her upkeep or what she's trying to do, and how I could support one way or the other than talk of let's go shopping, flexing etc.

Eunoiaa:
Semantics as far as I'm concerned.

Like someone who's just trying to make the best of the end of the short stick of the patriarchal deal they got. Like "stooping to conquer" and "men are the head, women are the neck" kind of thing. It sounds so soullessly transactional to me. Not to mention the points being all over the place.


And like, how do you "quantify" stuff you do for each other and make it match? So sex is the "payment" for being taken care for? And when a man takes care of you, he's entitled to sex? 'Sacred sex' seems wildly contradictory to 'I can't give you free knack if you don't take care of me.'


What the bride price is also doing there, I don't know. If bride prices doesn't give the man access to A and B and C, what's the point? 'Just because you paid bride price, you can't...' for something that runs into millions based on cultural dictates is just so laughable lol. You cannot demand someone be a piper and also want to tell them how to play the tune nau lol.

Bride price varies depending on the culture.
I see those things are cultural obligations that need to be fulfilled if it doesn't cut your head off or push you to the wall.
Some years ago some of my friends asked me if was going to be ok with my wife getting richer than I am.
I told them I'm not against her success, it's a win win situation.
He said I'm a simp, that I just look tough as a man.
I told him relationship is not to belittle a woman but to show love towards each other.
A man leading the family doesn't mean no one must progress beyond his financial capability.
I don't know if I was thinking right.
If I'm wrong I won't hesitate to adjust.

NeoWanZaeed:
Point of correction, not all ladies are rude when they have more than their husband



s that the reason why many ladies are so excited about wedding? They've seen where mount their liability.

You are very correct with this point

My grandparents are one of the best I could have ever noticed.
They're Muslims with a larger family and they trained their children well with love.
I noticed the culture in the early 90s. We're ijebu Epe people.
Once there is a bread winner in the family, the bread winner is to take other younger ones and train them till they stand on their feet.
That was the culture b4 my dad got married that did not sit well with my mum.
Thank God today my dad sisters are contributing immensely to their husband's home.
Infact my dad immediate sister is the strongest financially and take responsibility in her father and husband house without nagging (her husband now is really blessed).
To see these breed of women these days. As I was told my aunt and her husband joined money to build their new house when moving out of the former house her husband built.
That is to tell you something that the man own the former house. No matter what a woman brings to the table a man brings more of it.
So why should a women thinks she can't contribute to feeding also is what I don't understand but it is well tho.

Proserpina:
What's a man who doesn't have the intention to provide doing with any lady at all?

I can't believe we are even debating this at all. I know y'all have set the dating standards so low for yourselves here but I didn't know it has gotten to this

So a woman should prepare to feed herself while being married? I really fear for women who will end up with you lots.

First of all do you think to pay house rent is easy?
I'm sorry I grew up with an apt ideology and I'm still trying to understand relationship matters. Because I don't understand many things I have come to notice and understand.
My parents for instance are old fashioned.
My mum does little trade while my dad provide almost everything.
My mum got established by my dad in the 90s and later my dad lost his job.
We moved from our quarters in garki Abuja then back to Lagos. My dad was the bread winner of his family back then.
After coming back to Lagos my dad then returned to Abuja to start working as contractor, things were not as good as before but my mum was never prepared for this newly kind of life.
She came from a nice family also and she's a strong willed person.
Immediately she started doing more also to provide for me and my sister her nagging increased. There is not always peace whenever my dad return from Abuja. I was the mummy's boi so I always took side with my mum no matter what, while my elder sis is always compassionate towards my dad now reverse is almost the case tho.
My daddy being a gentle person reduce his visit to Lagos. Despite being the landlord lol. My mum was 70% in charge of the house.
Fast forward till now, me and my dad are not close while me and my mum are no more close like we use to.
The last time I went home and wanted to demarcate some extension of the building my mum challenged me that I dare not.
I did not waste time to tell her to return to her father's house if she's not pleased.
I've imagined all the wahala she gave my dad wen I was still her strongest ally. If she felt my dad was not providing enough as a man she should have gone outside to rent 3 bedroom flat and a shop to know if my dad did not provide shelter.

If a man provides shelter for his family I feel he has done a good job. If both party contribute feeding as 50/50 there is nothing bad about that.
The man will still need to pay school fees and other house related bills etc.
So with all this provision and expenses if a lady feels he must also provide all feeding. Then what is the support she's giving to him?
Thanks I'm just trying to learn so I won't be expecting more than I could get from a lady.

Gerrard59:
That is not free sex to a Nigerian woman. Sex is the cheapest commodity a Nigerian lady can get as I write and as you read what I wrote. The preek of a Nigerian man is cheaper than what you think.

You're correct about this. S*x is like a big market to many ladies. Someone said prostitution is a multi million dollar market in lekki.
Nigeria men are one of the greatest simp in world. All they know how to do is buy love.
They go to Uganda to spoil their women with money, they go SA to spoil their women with money, they went to Ghana to spoil women with money. Same thing they're doing in UK now.
I think we have one of the shameless breed of men.
I see the way a normal Nigeria guy face rejection, when they face rejection they go back to boost financially and come back to have that same coochies.
Her ideology don't sit well with me, I see alot of ladies with similar logic.