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Career / Re: What Will Your Occupation Be If You Had Followed Your Childhood Dreams? by tolukem(f): 11:33pm On May 25, 2021
Lastlook:
Aeronautical Engineer

Same brother, but now... My only dream is to help people.... I pray for fund... I want to be father to all. (Black or White)

me too, but I later opted for Electrical & Computer Engineering. I love what I do. At some point I considered vetinary medicine, and then medicine and surgery. But Engineering was really cool for me so I just went for Engineering

1 Like

Family / Re: Man Ordered To Pay His Ex Girlfriend $50,000 Per Month In Canada by tolukem(f): 3:07pm On Sep 12, 2020
I think the court should have allowed him to pay her off with a one time payment instead of having him pay so much over a long time, I am sure his lawyers will appeal the ruling. If they had been married I would be more comfortable with the judgement. I understand why, a lot of men would be angry about this. Most men are saying women who are not working are lazy bla bla, but the truth is most women put their careers on hold for the sake of family and their spouses. most ladies have to resign from well paying jobs in order to relocate to their husband's location even if there are no job opportunities for them in that location, then they get pregnant, I've not seen any company that employed a pregnant woman. it's annoying when you see men now insult such women who made such sacrifices but I digress. In the west their laws are to protect the weak under which women, children, people with disabilities and animals fall and then the poor. We all have to agree it's a man's world and they see it for what it is and have systems in place to protect the weak even if you're a man as well. The truth with having a partner is even if you're unmarried they affect your life positively in one way or the other and even help you to do your work better and achieve your goals, with advice and even making the environment conducive. I've seen men who quit their jobs to help their wife's in a lucrative business venture and vice versal. people, men especially now try to circumvent responsibility by dating women long term and having them engage in wifely activities and even sacrifices for their benefit. Now after wasting 15years of her life and youth, he wants to exchange her for a newer model. It's called a severance package and the richer partner weather man or woman should pay to the other partner. If they were married that's another ball game. I hate all these stories of one person dating somebody for 10 years, haba for what? I don't even blame the men it's the women I blame, ladies need to have better self esteem and requirements from their partners, if you start dating in your early twens or late teens I understand long term relationship, by the time any woman is 26, quit any foolish long term relationship and go after serious relationship with marriage as an end goal. The truth is while both men and women need each other, in the long run, men need women more than women need men, but we all fail to realise this, if women did, women would value themselves better and men would treat men with more respect. Sorry for the long post. Some topics dey make my brain touch grin cheesy

2 Likes

Family / Re: Man Sold Land, Car, Property To Fulfil His Wife's Dream Of Studying Abroad by tolukem(f): 5:25pm On Sep 03, 2020
I'm amused that people are thinking a big deal about what he said, the truth it is the husband's wish to relocate, but due to some reasons like age and his occupation not being required or in high demand in Australia, they decided to go the education route through his wife. He forgot to mention that he got a work permit as accompanying Spouse and they both probably have a PR or citizen ship after staying there for a couple of years. The benefits was mutual for them and it was the best route for both to relocate to Australia, but now he is making it seem like the sacrifice was solely for his wife. No it was for him and his family and the best move at the time since his wife was younger and would probably have fared better in school than he would have

2 Likes

Family / Re: To The 40s And Above People Here, What Is Your Advice To Those Of Us In Our 20s? by tolukem(f): 2:25pm On Jul 25, 2020
My Advice for ladies in their 20s....take a chance on your self, be ambitious and earn your own keep, Have fun in a controlled and safe manner , except you can hold alcohol, don't drink especially at parties. Don't build your life around a man.... use your head when picking a life partner, your heart will get you in trouble. know the difference between a boyfriend, a fiance and an husband and treat the man as such and act accordingly. Be very mindful about the people you associate with it can make or break you.

For guys....Be ambitious surround your self with ambitious friends who are going somewhere. Have fun too, no one is asking you to be boring, but always use your head. and don't spend your substance on whores, always value character over beauty for the woman you want to settle with. This is the time to break out of controlling tendencies of your family...they want to control your life and ultimately your finances, if you don't break out now...they will controlled you for the rest of your life.

26 Likes 2 Shares

Romance / Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by tolukem(f): 7:12am On Jun 27, 2020
My dear, if your boy friend is over bearing now, trust me, he would be unbearable in marriage. Your inner alarm system is ringing now, my dear pay attention to it.

2 Likes

Family / Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by tolukem(f): 10:48pm On Jun 23, 2020
Your number one problem is your mother in law, her living with you guys have escalated what ever issues you have by 150%, your wife has her insecurities but your mother-in-law is projecting hers on her daughter if you get back together do not let your mother in law live with you, I repeat do not, you have to set your feet down and do the needful. If you want your wife back and and want to earn her respect back....Don't call her again, don't beg her and don't answer her calls again. Don't send her and your daughters money.....cut her off totally, by the end of two weeks she would be stylishly trying to get in touch with you....Don't beg anybody again just tell her family members you did not cheat and and you're tired of her insecurities that if she doesn't want to come back she should stay away and act like at this point it doesn't really matter....."it's all reverse psychology" if you beg her to comeback you've entered trap and na she and her mama go dey control you for that house.

9 Likes 1 Share

Family / Re: Living Alone At 23, As A Single Lady, A Bad Idea Or Not? by tolukem(f): 8:12am On Jun 11, 2020
CsRockefeller:


Your closing statement wasn't called for.

True that, I completely agree with you. I would edit it out. Thanks
Family / Re: Living Alone At 23, As A Single Lady, A Bad Idea Or Not? by tolukem(f): 3:02pm On Jun 10, 2020
You can stay alone my dear, my advice to you is to live in place with lots of flats so even If you stay alone in your place you still have people you can interact with plus there's safety in numbers, you can share a flat with a few other people, preferably females....., don't, I repeat don't let people especially guys know you live alone. Don't make an habit of entertaining male friends at home and avoid going to guys homes. When I was much younger, I schooled away from my parents , I shared a self contain with a friend during and after service I shared a 3 bed room apartment with 2 other ladies. Having flatmates saved me from tricky situations with guys at least twice. So there's safty in numbers like I earlier said. You'll have the time of your life and be independent too. Good luck
Crime / Re: Man Rapes His 2 Daughters, Another Rapes 85-Year-Old Grandma In Niger State by tolukem(f): 12:29am On Jun 05, 2020
Orion01:
Shuuu! Na rape dey reign now? What's going on?
June abeg oh

As in ,Uncle beg June for us o, the way I am securing my daughter's now ehn, if any man or boy look them twice you can get arrested as my blood dey hot
Religion / Re: What's Your Longest Period Of Fasting And How Was It Accomplished? by tolukem(f): 12:35pm On May 03, 2020
chinoify:
I have done so many and still doing at different times but what helped was this book written by Franklin Jentezen *Fasting*..
The 3 most difficult I could remember are.. Let me share and encourage someone that fasting and prayers still works..


1. 21 days of no food, only water. I fasted and prayed about my future and the 20th day, God revealed to me my assignment here on earth. I have not lacked or missed a step ever since.


2. 200+ days of normal 6 -6 fasting, My wife was pregnant of our second baby and had different complications day after day. Two of us are Medical Lab scientist and had to agree that its becoming spiritual.... WHen i began fasting, her condition almost became normal. That night during labour, she drove to the clinic where she works, and acording to her story, she delivered in less the 10 mins of entering the hospital and left the hospital after an hour. People where like madam.. you can't drive.. rada rada... until a friend drove her home. I came back to her after 4days from my place of work.


3. 90+ days of normal 6 -6. I applied for YOUWIN grant during GEJ's regime. The total amount i applied for was #9.2M. I started fasting and praying until i was called to Aso rock, awarded the best Business plan from North East and a cash of 500k from First bank and also given the exact amount i wrote #9.2M in batches to expand my business.

Iam a fan of fasting and prayer works and its still working.



Thank you for this missive, it has encouraged me, to go back to my life of prayer and fasting. I used to see results and God's leading for my life as well, but I've become lazy and apathetic in the last 6 months to one year now

2 Likes

Health / Re: Nursing Mother Commits Suicide In Uyo Over Pressure From Husband by tolukem(f): 1:32pm On Apr 11, 2020
Most people do not understand that postpartum depression is real, a lot of women suffer from it shortly after having babies, if not well managed can lead to stories like this....depression knows no education or man, if she had some help it might not have lead to this. May her soul rest in peace

1 Like

Programming / Re: Are There No Network Engineers On Nairaland? by tolukem(f): 11:54pm On Mar 02, 2020
I feel like I just stumbled into a room with people I should have meet long ago, I'm a network engineer with about 10years experience, CCNA, CCNP, CCIE written, experience with computer ,printer,ev)wn UPShardware repairs , printerI love networking. Having a CCNA would put your foot in the door, having experience would secure your seat in the industry. As a network engineer you also do some programmingconfiguring router and switches is a bit of programming too especially if you're not using a GUI like most modern routers and NOS devices these days. In fact I first got interested in programming but once I got into networking it becoming really exciting for me, although now I've come full circle and I'm learning a few programming languages to up my game. Networking still remains my first love. There still remains few women in this field but I'm hoping there would be more women in IT,I've meet few.and the few ladies I've meet are really good

5 Likes

Career / Re: I had 2.2 in Electrical Engineering,Please, i need your advice. by tolukem(f): 11:35am On Feb 10, 2020
I think you should consider relocating to Germany or Canada. you can enter Germany through schooling, their schools are tuition free and you can get a work permit to stay for up to 3years and you can subsequently renew and apply for citizenship after 5years. Look for a school to do a post grad,
For Canada you can apply for express entry as a Technician, based on your experience in your current place of work, five years is not shabby at all, that's the regular requirement
Family / Re: I Destroyed My Sister Relationship With Her Fiancé And She Lost Her Job by tolukem(f): 8:13am On Jan 08, 2020
1Sharon:


Thank you. I'm sure the OP already feels like shit for being a teen mum in a country like Nigeria. The sister kept twisting the knife, she didn't need that. What she needs is guidance

OP was pushed to the wall. Hurt people hurt others.

.

Thank you.exactly what you said. Hurt people really hurt others. . @ Ifyjos. I think you need to go back to school, to do this you need to show some seriousness, try to get yourself a job so you can buy jamb form if you have your papers, you love your guy and all, but don't don't build your life around him, your sister might have hurt your feelings with constant reminder of your failure but that shouldn't push you to do evil, instead it should push you to be successful. Don't wait for your boyfriend to be successful, who says you can't be successful your self? . Just like some others said, find a way to anonymously exonerate your Sister with her ex fiance, I don't think they'll comeback together, quiet frankly I don't think the guy deserves her any way, he comes across as a jealous and controlling man. That is not to excuse your bad behaviour though. You need to mix with the right people to change your mind set, I think you're moving with a wrong crowd. I'm glad you're at least remorseful. Get a job, Go back to school, eschew evil and ask for God's guidance in all your ways...

2 Likes

Career / Re: Engineering Graduates & Practitioners- Share Your Experience During Your IT by tolukem(f): 10:31pm On Nov 11, 2019
franchasng:
Studying Engineering (Mechanical especially) in Nigeria is a waste of time, that's if you truly want to make impact not just to secure job.






But I have come to realize that engineering graduates are the smartest people on earth anywhere in the world. Forget medicine, engineering graduates are trained to fit-in in any field of life unlike medical graduates who are trained to fit in only in medical line.


You can see an engineer who is also a lawyer, a banker, a pharmacist, a doctor, a singer, a spiritualist, just name it, but you can hardly find a doctor who is a lawyer or an engineer or a banker.


You won't understand this unless you are truly trained engineer.


I am an Engineer, a software developer , a law student now also planning to study history, and above all, I am also an entrepreneur, only engineering graduates can be all this because they are trained to be versatile.


Op, work towards furthering your engineering study abroad, especially in US, Europe, Russia (chemical engineering only).


You can get free scholarship to study masters in Norway, Finland, etc to give you a new experience in new environment where you can also do exchange programs.



Most of the things you will learn in Nigerian schools as an engineer will be useless when you join the real industrial world. I did my IT with two different firms in 2 different sectors; AGIP and a manufacturing plant and they made me realized I wasted time solving Laplace Laplace transform in school when I ought to have spent more time at the workshops doing fabrications, learning CNC lathe machine programing and machinning processes.

Engineering students in Nigeria don't even know about robotics which ought to be part of mechanical engineering here because robotics is one sweet aspect of engineering Nigerian students need to explore to help Nigeria grow.

I quiet agree with you, I'm an Electrical Engineer, I'm an IT professional , a fashion designer, (it was too easy to ease into that ,(its all about measurements and dimensions). I'm a teacher, a business woman, I'm into buying and selling. It's crazy when people ask what I do...I have to pause and think, which angle do I want to tackle this question from?,heck I'm better at English than most English graduates I know, and I don't know flakes. Like you earlier said, an engineer can be more than one thing, heck you can be anything you want to be. PS I have a engineer friend who is going for medicine , I'm like dude�

6 Likes

Family / Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by tolukem(f): 6:38am On Nov 09, 2019
UjuJoan2:


grin grin grin grin

I was talking about how women react to being treated badly in the future in the other thread, and most of the people advising her to 'endure' almost jumped me. They claimed I should be advising women to stand up for themselves and yapped about how women had a 'choice'. And here they are saying the exact opposite, confirming what I said initially.

Nigerian women will always be at a disadvantage, no matter how much we try to deny it.

This poster is being abused emotionally by her husband and yet the society expects her to stay. How do you think she will react in the future when she finally becomes a mother and the husband becomes 'nice'. When she realises she now has all the power over her abuser and doesn't have to cower because she now has 'a place' in his home?

Of course she's not thinking 'revenge' now, but she's feeling the resentment and she's feeling helpless about her situation. I doubt if she's going to wave a hand and forget all she's going through now in the future, and live happily ever after with her husband.

When she starts reacting, the man will claim his wife has changed, and these fake people here will support him.

What a joke!
my sister.......Your head is correct. The truth is an Average Nigerian woman is disadvantaged. But the fact is we're stronger than we give ourselves credit for....Fear immobilizes most women.
Religion / Re: One Reason Not To Act So Wickedly by tolukem(f): 12:40pm On Oct 27, 2019
Primesky:
God bless you OP for this write up.

Only when we see these things for what they are can we begin to address them properly, and treat them with caution.

Fornication and adultery have become glamorized in our world today that people now pride themselves in it. Sex before marriage is now a norm, yet we claim we love God, while brazenly disobeying Him. If we don't see it as wickedness against God and man, how can we flee from it?.

And each time we brazenly dishonor God that way, something precious eludes us without some of us knowing it.

May God open our eyes and give us grace to stand for what is good, true and right.

Thank you sir, these are my thoughts exactly.

1 Like

Family / Re: She Texted Her Father's Number On 4th Anniversary Of His Death And Got This: by tolukem(f): 12:19pm On Oct 27, 2019
Reading this left me in tears.I was really surprised at most of the replies here though. It just goes to say a lot of our our people lack depth and empathy. But what do I know......

4 Likes 1 Share

Religion / Re: The Credentials That Got David The Kingship Of Israel by tolukem(f): 12:03pm On Oct 27, 2019
Awoo88:

He was not too careful. Otherwise he will not fall cheaply for a naked woman.

Actually, when God calls you it doesn't make you devoid of any failings, David was one of the few guys that made few mistakes,we've all made them at one point or the other, but that doesn't prove that God has made a mistake. We are all humans and we err at one point or the other, your point of wisdom would more likely be another's Point of foolishness.

By the way, this would be my first comment in 3 to 4years

1 Like

Education / Re: 12-Year-Old Rishe Gnanasekaran Wins National Mathematics Competition by tolukem(f): 9:22am On Apr 08, 2018
Congrats to the young wizkid, but somehow I highly suspect his beating the others is strongly aided by the fact that he is older than most of the other competitors,on the average these days most kids in pry 5 to 6 are btwn the ages of 8 and 10,with the average age of children in Jss 1 being 9 to 11, he had an unfair advantage of competing with younger children, of cos he won, my own 2 cents
Family / Re: 10 Weird Pregnancy Facts No One Tells You About by tolukem(f): 7:14pm On Jan 08, 2014
My husband sure experienced no 10, lol
Fashion / Re: Let's Sew For Fun (**valisimo Fashion School Online Classroom**) by tolukem(f): 6:37pm On Jan 07, 2014
Kai, am behind o, I'll cut mine tonight, love the diagrams too, they're so self explanatory, well done Efosa, will upload pictures of work in progress
Fashion / Re: Let's Sew For Fun (**valisimo Fashion School Online Classroom**) by tolukem(f): 2:47am On Jan 02, 2014
Thank u sooo much Efosa, sending u an E hug, u broke everything down like the pro u are,I have my material for the skirt already, can't wait to make it, happy new year to you and your family, may this year be a profitable and prosperous one for u!

2 Likes

Family / Re: Problems With Sex Is Ruining My Marriage by tolukem(f): 3:28pm On Dec 20, 2013
liloelawwal: A female friend of mine had d same problem when she got married,she got married as a virgin too n pased tru same tin u ar pasing tru now bt she eventually got pregnant n after delivery d whole pain went away.
She now enjoy her marriage n sex life.
I totally get u, happened to me too got married as a virgin, but since I had my baby, sex life as been better even menstrual,pain, @ OP try to see a specialist,plus I also believe twould be better after child birth, cos after pushing a whole human being up, surely a d*** (pardon my french) shld be routine
Fashion / Re: A “SEW ALONG” THREAD For Sewing Enthusiasts/Tailors/Fashion Designers:DECEMBER by tolukem(f): 11:07am On Dec 12, 2013
@ marry landcakes, well done, I just completed a dress a sewed for myself too last night, would probably upload the pictures too today, can't wait for the sewing of this new project to start!
Family / Re: Help! My Friend Wants To Divorce Her Husband For Kissing Their Baby. by tolukem(f): 6:35pm On Dec 06, 2013
I suspect ur friend as a case of paranoia schizophrenia, which might not be far from postnatal depression, I'll suggest u take ur friend for physcological evaluation, and I mean this seriously no pun intended, I've seen cases like this where from pregnancy, women go crazy due to hormones that might cause imbalances in them, people react to pregnancy and child birth in different ways, wish u all the best as you try to help ur friend, my 2cents

2 Likes

Fashion / Re: A “SEW ALONG” THREAD For Sewing Enthusiasts/Tailors/Fashion Designers:DECEMBER by tolukem(f): 4:19pm On Dec 04, 2013
@ Guddy O, I think the darts should be place from the. Apex of the breast or from the under burst
Family / Re: Married To A Banker; Hell On Earth! by tolukem(f): 5:52am On Nov 29, 2013
If u're in lagos I suspect one of the main problems is the branch where ur wife works is far from where u live,like mainland to island,if she gets a transfer to a branch closer home the stress she'll face would be less and that will reflect in the family too, or she can begin to look 4 work else where,I dontt always advise business, not everyone can do well in business, if she's business or service oriented,you guys can save money towards it so she can leave her job and have more time for the family, @ least weeknds she shld try to spend time with her family and give u show, during the week when she's not tOo tired once or twice won't hurt either
Family / Re: How To Get Pregnant With a Boy and Twins by tolukem(f): 5:33am On Nov 29, 2013
Flytefalls: For my sanity, I do not wish twins upon me. For two years I have helped a friend babysit hers and wow how quickly I have unsubscribed from the twin dream!!
grin, I wanted twins but I had a singleton now am glad I didn't have twins cos caring for this single baby is driving me crazy!

4 Likes 1 Share

Family / Re: Share Your Child Birth Experience by tolukem(f): 5:20am On Nov 29, 2013
@JDlight there's been a thread like this on front page months back, I read it when I was pregnant, twas. A good read and funny too cos most of the experiences was from the men kiss,
Family / Re: Share Your Child Birth Experience by tolukem(f): 5:09am On Nov 29, 2013
k4kenny: To those who opt for cs to avoid lab kissour pain, I laff in french. The kind of pain that will come after the surgery is a thousand times more than the one felt during labour. Trust me, I've gone through both. If there's no medical emergency involved, cs should avoided like a plague.

N.B. I'm just obsessed with birth stories cheesy. Tis d reason why I still hang arnd d preggy section 10 mos after 'graduating' grin. God bless all the mothers out there.
. @ K4kenny I totally get the obsessed part, lol, I love to read preggy stories, my baby will be 9months next week. Before I had my baby and heard from experienced mothers I was under the impression CS would help to avoid labour pain,
not anymore embarassed, thankfully my birthing experience is natural

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