₦airaland Forum

Idowuogbo: Me nko?

Why not? Dandy Dindy sweetly ID

Ishilove: Nna put am jor, wetin dey worry you sef

cant put my foto in puplic domain . . . i fit send am to you personally BUT you must not share it

spikes C: ehe, i nominate https://www.nairaland.com/toshmann

nothing for ya

ItsModella: I bu nnukwu pervert

a very handsome one

ItsModella: you be learner sha, nobody is joking here. Have you seen the under 17 team? they look old enough to be your father. No jokes.

how did nigeria change so fast? i grew up in nigeria and e nova reach 10 yrs wey i comot . . . e don tey small sha . . but it wasnt like that when i was there . . or maybe i been dey naive . . bc tariba was playing when i was home, kanu, okocha etc i thought those guys were young.
i'm embarrassed to be honest and a part of me still believes you kids are joking

Ishilove: So you brief? You dey summarised??

Don't mind them, I go order high heeled boots for you

NO i'm a wee bit above average, but i no get am for bear bear or even common moustache and when i waka with my age mates wey get am for either bia-bia or moustache or big belle or at least weight them go think say dem be my senior

i no wan put my foto for here

Idowuogbo: U no well!

come make me well na, how i go well when you no wan come closer
as you don diagnose say i no well, will you be my night nurse


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e89RlUL8Ti4

anyhow anyhow ID na ID

ItsModella: guy, do you watch Nigerian soccer at all? Of course, Taiye Taiwo can be 21 while his twin brother in real life is 40.

this na national embarrassment o, and i dey argue de defend these dudes
anyways, i'm sure you guys are kidding me . . . but i enjoyed the joke sha

Ishilove: E be like sey you be learner.

My neighbour whose first pikin is 29 yrs old dey claim 1967 for hin CV. #proudlynaija#

why na? you sure say i go fit in for naija again. how people go de arrange variation between fact and CV
abi dem no de catch them say na lie.

my problem for here be say i look younger than my real age, and so even common beer wey i go wan shack for pub with my guys, dem go serve my guys, when e reach my turn, dem go ask me for my ID

at least if i go with idowuogbo and they ask for my ID i will present the lovely ID for them

spikes C: Sorry mademoiselle, if i made you feel this way. It was really unintentional
Besides, those times were just me joking

like joke like joke akamu go discharge unto receptor with resultant large belle and brand new pikin as and when due

ItsModella: You must understand that I'm not some girl you call up when you feel like discharging your akamu. I ghota ife'm na gwa gi?

chei, this thread don sweet me die

toshmann: i know a guy that jacked up his age just bc of adaobi . . . in 10minutes the guy went from 17yrs to 19yrs to 20yrs and back to 17yrs

spikes C: otele don suffer oo

i no call anybody name o

Ishilove: Come guy, you dey naija so? JJ Okocha is 32, Kanu Nwankwo 32, Chidi Ordiah 25(bwaha!!), Taribo retired at the age of 33, so what are u talking about??

You need to check out our under 17-soccer stars. Some of them don reach to born pikin wey dey university

is this a joke?

Ishilove: Wow...how flattering

*in soprano*

forever young,
I wanna be,
forever young!!

instantly 10yrs older if necessary

i know a guy that jacked up his age just bc of adaobi . . . in 10minutes the guy went from 17yrs to 19yrs to 20yrs and back to 17yrs

seriously, do those soccer stars change their age?

for real?

little girls of nowadays . . . . i nova see anything like this before . . i still de laugh . . .
ishilove u don kill me with laugh i swear . .

from your posts i can smell you are a teenager . . .

abeg wey my ID? make i carry go joo . . before these kids finish me for here . . still laughing in swahili

Ishilove: My CV says I was born in 1988. Whether I am older is a different matter entirely. My age adjusts according to requirements, so for you, I could be above 25. For spike for example, I could be sweet sixteen

this babe na job-girl . . . anyhow my conscience is clear . . . i hereby baptize you toshbabe

chei, see job . . . age varies in accordance to need

Idowuogbo: Dats not her! Ishi get wan bad load for chest o! Kai! Dem Babylonias na dioeee.

ishilove so na ya chest been de press me for olokoto during the shaving

if ya face fine like this, ya chest go be . . . . . he he he he he

ItsModella:

I don't know why you found it hard to believe that I'm a girl. Anyway, I'd love to see the final result of the fast track extraterrestrial blah blah blah.

go look into the mirror, that's the final result of the fast track extra terrestial senses of toshmanilensis

spikes C: You no know say you don old abi

how i go take sabi? . . . when my olokoto is still very active
abeg comot road joo . . .

i hope ishilove is up to 25yrs o . . make e no be small pikin de handle my regional headquarters o

ishilove!! . . abeg u don reach 25yrs? . . thats my limit, anything below is not for me.

it's a girl
modella puts her photo at last
cute chocolato . . . . i'm gonna use fast track extra terrestial senses of toshmanilensis to extrapolate that photo and i'll get what she . . yes SHE . .looks like as an adult

Ishilove: *examines the pipeline*

Hmmm, very very small...

what d'you mean? . . have you seen this olokoto in action? ok, you didnt know it has different lengths for different functions and different times
dont worry you'll learn

Ishilove: *brings out power mower and trims the amazon jungle bush at the below. Dusts body when she is finished. Takes broom, packer and jumbo sized waste bin to pack the biabia.*

That's better, I can now see what lies beneath

*examines the pipeline*

Hmmm, very very small...

*moves to the school bag*

Aha, as I thought, eczema!! It needs mending!

*brings out sharp tiger blade and aboniki balm*

Hold still, this might hurt...a bit...

go on, go on . . . dont stop . . i'm loving this thread . .

spikes C: But this ishilove fine o

a-think you don follow me come here
wetin be ya wahala na?

leave idowuishilove alone o . . . i meant leave ishilove alone o i mean leave idowuogbo alone o . . . i mean . . . what do i mean? . . uhm . . uhm . . you know what i mean dont you?

fvk up men, i don fokoyo

i wu oku nkwa kemgbe uwa, iche na amaghi m. i-need-ighi izo ezo. gaa kuo ya nkwa ka onweta onwe ya. before ya amaa udo, . . . at least that would keep you away from ebe nwa mama nu

ifynkwa, ahula m na ship iji choo iga husband hunting mere capsize
how far?

kedu nke umuafrika jiri gbaa oso ebea, enweghizikwa onye na abianu, ebe a ajuo oyi ka burial ground. legodi dust cover-a ebe nile, azabeghi ebea aza, ele cleaner anyi ya biko bia hichasia ebea maka umuafrika kwesiri inwe ogbako nso nso a.

gini na achu unu osokwanu? okay i understand ndi dika darfur atubeghi utu nke ha, ify nu serious husband chase, otele di grounded by mama ya, but ndi nke ozo kwanu?

biko putasianu ka anyi nwekoo before ala akwupu otele ugbua

adaobi123:

Ishilove: Thank ya toshmann, but I know you are very very very handsome

ho ho ho he hu ha ha ho . . you know. . . most people say that but i think i'm just me you know

Ishilove: I wasn't talking about the beard on your face...

ahaaaaaaa!
i think i've met my match
c'mon twistie . . . go ahead . . do ya thing

dont stop at da "bia-bia-below" . . . go further, there's a pipeline, a school bag with two globes for geography lessons
and take it easy o, bc toshmann needs to have his own kids at some point . .

adaobi close ya eyes

Afam4eva: The grace you girls are exhibiting here is very Un-Nigerian. Both of you are pretty but one has to be prettier. Fight for it

i'll be the judge

which one of ya kids is up to 25yrs

whoever is 25 or more is da winner

Ishilove: Lemme guess...ya biabia? Sorry, I don't twist the beards of elderly men.

Which kind bia-bia?
I tell you say I no sabi shave?

Abeg get down "there" and twist "something" joo

Br3nd4: Ahhh. . . Great grand Pa

More like great grand pa

Ishilove: Adaobi, adaobi, adaobi!!! Na you use ya hands derail the thread

Not derailed, just moving forward in a different direction