₦airaland Forum

halt the insult first. @poster answer me first

I noticed she has been coming on to me for sometime now. Calls text messages and stuff.Yours sincerely is a real life hyena, now tamed by career pursuit and family but a hyena nonetheless. I have never had it with someone with such a wide age margin-completely uncharted territory for me.We have an outing planned for today and it is mutually agreed that there will be no first date bullshit.

Ar u a married man?

@wife read ur husbands post
@husband read ur wife's post
there is too much he said , she said in this story as the man is claiming and the wife is saying it is a lie (vice versa)
so i will not comment too much on the issue
mozilla its clear ure going thru a tough time but so is ur wife, she wants the marriage to work out though she might not be putting it rightly
omosege apppears to be a very bitter woman and those issues must be addressed before peace can ever be attained
mozilla there are no female friends (as casual as they maybe) to a married man. it is a friend of the family instead. someone said it before and it is very true no seperate female friend your wife does not know of. it[b] MUST BE ONE THAT BOTH OF YOU KNOW AND IS A FRIEND TO BOTH OF YOU[/b]
husband and wife should agree on sending money to people back home. it will affect the families income one way or the other so discuss among urself how you will go on about it. if possible set a target to give out and try to stick to it. where it is not possible, LET YOUR SPOUSE KNOW SOMETHING HAS COMEUP dont do it behind his/her back. this might end up affecting how u will spend that month so you might have to cut back on some stuff
omosege ur husband has to see u dont hate his family, not in words only but by actions. forgive those that did not call you to congratulate you, the human mind is complicated and full of issues. give him space to do stuff with his family, imagine a man not been able to call his brother in your presence.
May God give you the grace to go about it, cos its not every family matter of ur husband u put ur mouth in and condemn, talk or generally hit back at the offending parties in his presence(i am not saying you did any of this)
husband, remember this is a family now, your elder brother is obviously doing fine with his family. if something happens to ur own tomorrow (God forbid, na only kpele im go tell you)
know where to draw the line where family members are concerned. you are a family now, never forget it
lastly wife, wife, wife from your post i saw something. you appear to be a sharp woman, perhaps a bit hard and quick with words. be careful there.if you are stronger in chracter it should compliment your husband and not bring him down.someone said something about ur diffrent temprament and this may or may not be true. you are supposed to LET YOUR HUSBAND LEAD and be a support to him. he is the head you are the neck. get the analogy?support your home and husband. dont be too quick to shout, talk back or hiss.listen more (i am sorry to say but you may have to put in more effort here)
forgive each other sincerely all the hurt done to you else you will not move on. all the messages u said he sent to someone about you, all the one u recieved when you were pregnant and how u cried ur eyes out. all the cheating you claim he did, please please decide to forgive eachother. no one if free of blame in this regard.
sister woman gave good advise on seeing the counsellor (if u choose to do that). if una dey naija nah a trusted pastor/elderly family friend (who has gone ahead of u in marriage and who knows you both )would have helped you out there. DONT TELL YOUR ISSUES TO FAMILY MEMBERS FOR NOW, or judge for them. if you have been doing please end it.
finally forgive forgive worse things have happned to people. your case is not one that can not be turned around. pray too if you are christians sometimes God removes attitudes when you ask him sincerely to help you where you know you are weak.
DONT COME TO NAIRALAND TO TRADE WORDS AGAIN. HE SAID I SAID.LET IT END PLEASE.u can come back with thanks and testimony sha.

this thread is old but m saying this for people (like those in this woman's shoe)that find their self in this situation tomorrow and choose to keep the baby.

1 hope you have a clear picture of the man
2 hope u know his surname, first name, what tribe he is from and where he lived in nigeria or where his parents reside
3 what he is doing in the foreign country, i.e is he a student (know the course of study)or working(know where he worked or works)
4 are you in touch with any family member? or someone that has link to him e.g brother,sister, aunty or even parents

if no 4 does not work out dont worry. when your child is old enough and wants to know his father. let him get on a plane to nigeria. straight to NTA, AIT or wateva new channel is recieved nationally. armed with all the relevant information.
cross your leg and watch the number of relations and people that know him will come running at ur door. lol

some people are just reading the mans story and firing reply straight away. READ EVERYTHING BEFORE ADVISING ANYTHING

first thing first he should try and pay her back her money.obviously it seems d table is turned now and ders nothing he can do about it if the girl wants nothing to do with him.let him move on keep trying to get a job, AND PAY D MONEY AS SOON AS HE CAN.

vodka:
errrr what more proposal do you want, by the way by now you shd have your engagement ring on. you did intro and engagement and you never asked for proposal? abeg what's the use of doing engagement and introductionif its not for marriage? anyway if its bugging you sha you say you've asked but he's guessing?? i really don't get. maybe you shd ask ina joking manner" you know baby you never ACTUALLY proposed to me?" then he'd be like "really? i thot i did" or something. i mean so what did you guys say that he felt it was time to do engagement and intorductiona nd now marriage:/

to me ders sth special about a man asking u ''will u marry me'' and puting that rock on ur finger. its just special to me. both parties might know they ar working towards it and all but that act is so special. he does nt have to throw a party or crack his brain looking for fantastic ways to go about it(if he does fine but i wont put pressure on him to or b disappointed if he does not) but just doing it, geting on his knees and me saying YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS oh God i cant wait ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Is that so? This na expo o. So all naija grooms to be, take note!

yes oh expo for you.it means alot

gosh you guyss, thanks for all the response. i feel a bit better. i have told him sha, kind of like , hes asking me what i want  for vals and just told him to guess but if his guessi s right ill be the luckiest girl on earth and bla bla,  hes still guessing away like crazy(he hates suspence)! and he has guessed right but not quite sure. well weve been 2gether for over 7 yrs and you know girl friends, !? all asking how did he propose and i dont know what to say, i dont need moonlight and stars but if u dont know, that little simple gesture, (try to make it a bit memorable) matters alot. a girl will always carry it around in her heart forever,, tell her grand kids, memories. all said, im a bride to be regardless.

girl i hope he gets it right but IF for any reason he does not, dont feel too bad STILL TELL HIM. u know men somethings that mean alot to us, some dont see it like that esp if he knew he'd always marry you and things just progressed naturally( he probably never saw the need to).
Remember communication in marriage na now e go start oh.lol

@temi4rea,  No I can come to Nairaland, after all we all need one help at one time or the other , I mean do I have to take all advice given me to me, hook , line and sinker? Nooooooooooo.
My husband is with his white girl ,  want me to be waiting for him ? No way I have sent him an email and left a text msg on his phone,

ROMINIYI ure saying this story half and half sef. d man is not living in d same state with u, he is somewer else with a white girl presently abi for how long has this bin goin on?u started your story like u had no problems in your marriage. later u said something like ur husband has done stuffs to u in the past now u say he is with a white chick.

For those single guys and ladies out there, before you get married make sure that there is no one that you love in your life besides the person you are getting married to. If there is some one try to get in touch with the person, maybe you may not feel anything anymore but is essential that you do so. Rushing things will cost you a lot of pains and suffering.

God bless u outlaw for this one personally this is something i have learnt from this story. let everybody be 100% convinced before u say i do. make God nor let person see bad thing oh

Wonders will never end just like that? straight to the court, all in one day is this for real or what?
is this marriage not even worth fighting for?

uhmn uhmn uhmn girl ure smart i must say, u noticed this thing for so long i guess but you stuck to him abi?
i understand how frustrating this must be but i think you have something good here to throw away like that
i know you have said u have spoken on this issue but mayb you need to sit him down well since you cant sit him down physically,
let an issue arise again, watch how he goes about it and then that might be a perfect example to bring up this matter
tell him in plain terms how frustrated you are, and how u ar thinking the relationship is headed for nowhere
give him time to chew on this, tell him how important this is to you and how YOU MUST SEE CHANGE BEFORE U TIE D KNOT
pray for him too, tell God ur concerns i think you got a strong personality and in future with a little improvment from him NOW it wil be a perfect balance
i have met couples like this one or two, the woman had d stronger personality the man can never be like her but was perfect too in his own way
he might be more jovial and generally take things lightly but still STEP UP TO THE PLATE WHEN OCCASION DEMANDED FOR IT
this is the change i hope you see at the end of the day
let the marriage hold on for a while and watch him and indeed how it goes
at the end of the day if u are not satisfied dont lie to yourself WALK AWAY and then he will have nothing on u (he wont be able to cough sef)
cos he messed up and this he knows.
good luck

16-19years in naija?
hahaha

me i nor c anything bad for wetin gabrywyl bf do oh.

it all depends on how the poster goes about it.did he just happen to be washing and see d gf's pant and decide to wash it as well?Is it something he does regularly or on just that one occassion? does she tell u to do it or wot? (now that will be so wrongggggggg)

personally i dont c dis happening to me cos as i dey baff, i wash my undies. But there might be days i happen to be late mayb rush out and stuff, if my HUSBAND happens to STUMBLE across it and just so HAPPENS BY ANY CHANCE, to b doing his laundry or mayb i am indisposed or something I SEE NO REASON WHY HE SHOULD NOT HELP ME OUT. and if i happen not to have a washing machine (cos some pple are shouting is der no washing machine here know the koko in naija) why cant he use his hands? wot is wrong der, i will be washing his briefs/abi boxers in short cloths so what is wrong in him helping me if the need ever arises?


NB: Learn to keep stuffs like that personal at home.some people here you do things that ur friends or parents will consider mumu for your wife/gf, and to you it means nothing. the day you talk or they see you doing it STORY go start. keep ur business to urself and be confident about everything you do even at home so if u talk am out tmr or they happen to c u doing it and laff u go laff dem back and e nor go pain u.

And if i confirm that the boy is not mine pls what do u advice. PLS Help!!!!!!

go and do the test first and come back with the result.

My best friend who is a guy thinks its ,

that could just be it ohhhhhhhh

that is what i m seriously praying for o, infact i started fast just on wednesday to be serious, because with the way the chic is going on with the whole thing, men we are all scared o[quote][/quote] i understand sha!

@ Topic

There really is no right or wrong in this story. [b]If I had a sister/brother who was dating a Deaf/dumb/blind/ or physically disabled person, I will personlly go out of my way to break them up.[/b]Yes!! I know it sounds insensitive and all worth not, but its just what it is. A blind man I can stand, atleast all you need to get him/her is a cane, a seeing-eye-dog, or a midget. But someone who isnt only deaf but also dumb, thats just too much for one person.

Yes!! Deaf and Dumb people do deserved to be loved. But communication is also a very important part of marriage.[quote][/quote]someone decides to travel for woteva reason, and is in the bus has an accident a serious one losses his legs or hand
a perfectly normal child goes for vaccination or mayb an injection and it all goes wrong he becomes a cripple
someone is sick seriously and it has adverse effect he losses his sight,speech or ability to hear
some are born this way others by one misfortune or another experience this
this can be the case of someone, anyone (we dont pray for this but its good to remember its by his mercies we are well)
its not in anyones place to say who another one should date or who is good enough for your brother or sister
you can only advise if they refuse wot do u do
some people say i knew right from the moment i saw him/her, nothing you do will stop them
not everyone will marry a physically challenged person, not everyone can be so convinced or can carry that burden
that is their decision to make not ours
for all you know your sister might not end up marrying that person, it might just be an expericence for her,
to date someone she was convinced was right for her at that point in time.

Ben20001:
sure it was negative

_{'cos his body is mine and mine is his}

Hotstepper:
how old are the both of them?

i almost asked especially on the part of the girl.

some people are so narrow minded.its up 2 ur sister if she chooses 2 date and even marry a physically challenged person. not everyone can do it. At 24,she is old enough 2know what she wants. Nairaland is not just a Nigerian thing oh u people should not send d wrong message please. na really if she children would be deaf and dumb

long long ago wen we were kids yes oh those were great days
as we grew older we'd take our food to eat wereva we like. room, front of tv, computer, inside d car
now the house is empty
but my parents still eat together most of the time

its a wonderful way of life i hope to do same

ah ah this guy is fine nah.
is that ur gf wit u in d pic with D1. well if she is she'd damn pretty too thats y she probably talks like that ''na who fine pass go tell fine boy say im nor fine''
guess she is just teasing u to keep ur head in place
dont mind em boys most wont tell u ure handsome and u know it. cheers

i liked d beards too esp in d pic wit D1. na person unique style nah or mayb she does not like it. would u cut it if she asks u to?

tRoOE:
Black American women will never learn

i dey tell u , i dey tell u. 
d thing just dey pain me

I asked him what made me only good enough for second place and his response was you’re not worth second place but worth first place. You’re my favorite is what he had the nerve to say to me. He also said that he will never “leave” his wife. He said that it does not matter that the courts divorced them she still is his wife of 18 years and the mother of his children and that over time she would come to accept me as her junior. He also said that he knows lots of Nigerian men that have two wives, one in Nigeria and one in the USA. He says that they all get along together just fine.



I know that I must leave him but I am afraid. What if I don’t find another man? What if this is my last chance? What if this is the best there is for me?
What is life like with two wives in the same house, because at some point he wants to move back to Nigeria? Why did he lie to me when I tried to leave in October? And now he has a nonchalant attitude about the whole thing. He says that if I cant accept her as my Senior wife then I should stop seeing him and date other people. Is he just seeing if I will go? When I called later that night he said I knew you were not going anywhere “you are my body”-what does that mean? Am I a home wrecker? What do they do to home wreckers in Nigeria?

hope hope hope hw many times did i call you. take a good look at wot u typed with ur own hands. step back wipe ur eyes and read it again. i fear for u. insecurity and all screams from ur posting.A man is telling you he cant leave his wife and she will always be senior and stuff. u ar saying u need a man u can call urs and urs alone. cant u see? i can bet u, THIS MAN IS NOT DIVORCED. His wife is somewhere with his kids, praying and awaiting his return and ure there day dreaming.ok if he is divorced wot reason did he give for leaving his wife? wot did his ex do or wot DID HE DO HIMSELF? Wot ar his long term plans, does he want to live d rest of his life in d states? will u go back to nigeria with him eventually? i tell u with the scenerio he is alreading painting snr wife , junior wife shit, u wont believe the mess u got urself into if u decide to follow him to nigeria.
someone is using mind games on u, seeing how vunerable u are'' “you are my body”. that is shit and ure eating it. someone acts like they have u in d palm of their hand and u'd always come back to him cos ure his body. lol lol
he wants to eat his cake and have it too.
finally fear not, wot is yours is yours. if ure a good woman as u say, u will meet others just the way u met him. let time b d judge