₦airaland Forum

the guy should run from the girl as fast as possible, and vice versa. Unless he's as crazy freaky as her, sha.

What kind of person slaps a guy for looking at other women? Like that's going to make him control his wandering member eyes.

something else dey there o.

I dont dig casanovas myself, but I still dont understand that kind of extreme reaction.

@ ayomifull

This was what my friend told me 3 days ago and she is in a dilema. We have lived together under the same roof since we both got to this country five years ago.  Her husband has tried more than enough time to obtain visa to join them here but he was never lucky and the worst is that he has no job and financial means to back up his application.

For almost 2 years now my friend has been the one sponsoring the family through the little she could make here. Up till now she has no savings because even her mum depends on her (meaning she caters for herself and her 2 kids here, her husband and her child back in Nigeria and her mother). Its really hard on her but at least she is still able to do that. Now the husband called her yesterday and told her specifically 'I have tried visa several times without success, i am not happy with this distance marriage and i give you up till end of June to pack your things and return home with the kids, i am fed up and i have made up my mind, nothing is going to change this so don't bother, just come back home, i need my kids and my wife under same roof with me'.

Now this man has no stable job, she pays the house rent and even sends feeding money to him some times. She does have money herself to set up something should she return home and she has been trying since then to make him see reason why this is not the right time to do this but he would not bulge, he told if she is no longer interested in the marriage she can stay back but if she is still in this marriage she should just return home for good.

What do you think? She is afraid of loosing her marriage if she refuse to go and afraid of 'hunger' should she return.

I think this is one of those instances where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.


The husband has a point, but the marriage may still falter after the wife returns home anyway. Wont be the first time a husband has demanded his wife return home with the kids, only for the marriage to hit the rocks later. In fact, change the location to outside of Ireland and this story sounds exactly like one I know of. For him to even mention the bolded speaks volumes about his state of mind. He probably already considers the wife as being disobedient and refusing to recognize his authority.  Even though she's the one supporting him oh.

I understand immigration is getting harder in the UK these days, but this kind of thing is tough, really.

if someone has to debate and think about whether to hold the door open or slam it in someone's face, then what can anyone say.


Gender is irrelevant in this context. Call it chivalry, politeness, common courtesy, or whatever- it all depends on the individual.

this is why I like automatic doors.

it's not a battle, but personally I'd say one has to take into account the fact that the US is bigger.

More diverse too.

nassarawa is fine.

reminds me of my sister as a teenager.

stick2clem:
WHY ARE You NOT SHOWING MILE 12, KETU.OSHODI AND KEEP SHOWING ALL THIS GOOD PLACES OF NIGERIA,You SHD SHOW MORE OF LAGOS & LET THE PEOPLE SEE WHT WE ARE FACING,THATS SHIT, PEOPLE DONT MIND THIS Bleep POSTING ALL THE AREAS IN VI AND ABUJA & GOOD AREA IN PH. THATS ONLY TOURIST ATTRACTION,SHOW MILE 12,OJOTA KETU.OSHODI,ISALE EKO, AJEGUNLE APAPA, DONT BE A MENANCE, YO PEOPLE, DONT BELIEVE THIS, ALL THE PLACES HE WAS SHOWING ARE HARD TO FIND IN 9JA, ON UR WAY DOWN HERE, IT BEGINS FROM AIRPORT ROAD,DOWN TO ISOLO, OSHODI AND You WONT BELIEVE WAT WE You ARE SEEING, IM A REAL BORN 9JA, IM PROUD,BUT HE NEED TO BE SHOWING You THE UGLY PART,NOT JUST THE GOOD PLACES,

but you yourself posted pictures of Abuja on this site in the past now, in response to people posting pictures of the UK.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=69118.msg1790623#msg1790623
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-69118.192.html- is this not the national theater you're proudly advertising here?

@stick2celm

If i never go any London shopping mall, Or Leeds, or manchester, At least i dey go Silverbird galleria, for VI,

People are also posting pictures of nairobi kenya:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-51356.0.html

This doesnt mean there are no slums in nairobi Kenya.

hmmm.

what are we saying here.

Does this mean even women who are extremely submissive to their husbands dont have any marriage problems?

I've observed otherwise oh.

people who will have problems will have them regardless.

Everyone has made some good points here, in my opinion.

I hope the Lagos state government will pay attention to these startup problems.

@OP:

do you want to change that "looking for love" quote in your profile?

since you insist you're not looking for love.

abi which kind of love you dey look for?

oziomatv:
Your father never told you that an inquisitive monkey takes bullet on his head?
Go ahead quating me in every thread you're in, just to be noticed by a girl that will never show you her undies. Or for a selfish popularity in nairaland.
In my post did you find any hatred or tribalistic/racial comment? I think it's time for you to mind your foolish business and stay off my back am not your playmate.

I'll not waste any longer my time to answer you again.

you need to get your mind out of the gutter and understand you've been busted.

I don't roll that way, so take your sick utterances somewhere else. Maybe na your own obsession dey make you pursue somebody from thread to thread. Better call a spade a spade.

how many times have you entered a thread with your first post being what is someone doing there. Once, twice is okay, but when it becomes your habit everytime, thats very annoying.

please stick to your promise not to answer me again o.  As if.

I know the only thing you're consistent with is tribalism.

[s]how long before you delete your original post here.[/s]

kenflipper and his perfume.

lol.

lets assume you also looked very good as well. With impressive documents.

yes, she needs to cut her hair o.

After all it will grow back.

just cut it and keep it somewhere in case they need the DNA match.

nwando:
tpia you miss the whole thing.
the kwale folks said their juju kills wayward wives.
Their own admission not mine
what's your own?
if this Ijebubabe says Njikoka people eat their first borns and other Njikoka people agree,I'll be the first to tell her to run away
I wouldn't want her first born eaten

abeg no be fight o.

I'm just stating that stereotypes abound everywhere. Whether they're true or not, I'm sure there's always exceptions to the general rule anyway.

biko no confirm this omo ibo allegation, abeg.

sebi na similar thread make two madams dey insult themselves for another thread.

Me i no vex o. You dey vex? 

In any case, there's something fishy about these threads.

@nwando

Ijebubabe,everything your mom told you about Igbos,we heard same of Ijebus so it all cancels out.

this is what I was saying on the other thread.

@ oziomatv

What are you doing here?

@oziomatv

I thought you were out before that's why I came in, I'll leave now.

this oziomatv is very divisive and prejudiced, for real.

whats his problem na.

this is why Africa has issues. Many Africans cannot relate with other tribes. They don't know how and they don't want to learn, but only stay in their narrowminded circle.

its one thing to be patriotic, but quite another to be openly racist and tribalistic.

When I mentioned Biafraworld on another thread, people were getting their knickers in a twist thinking i was insulting Igbos. My point is, if you don't want to relate with other tribes in Nigeria besides your own, then why are you here on this site?

I'm seriously wondering.

nwando:
I'm not starting any wars tpia
and no I'm not an idol worshipper
neither would I knowingly eat food sacrificed to idols
by their admission,some evil spirit kills their adulterous women.
It's not a place I'll advice anyone I love to marry from.
I never knew this until now.

If I knew any Igbo community that has mortgaged it's citizens to evil spirits by a local Govt ordinance not individual choices
I wouldn't marry there either.

how have they mortgaged their local govt to evil spirits?

which community in Africa or even the whole world hasnt had one weird/evil custom or the other at some point in time. Werent you on the benue thread? even the british used to do human sacrifice. talkless elsewhere. Billions of stories everywhere.

Some else also said he knows a girl from that area who sleeps around even though she's married.  Likewise I've heard many things about people from the region, which i can't verify since I'm not there.  i wouldnt advise the lady to marry the guy if she's having doubts, but these things you're saying here seem very alarmist, imo.

true, the penalty for adultery seems one sided and very harsh, but maybe there are people who are married to guys from there and can give other viewpoints as well.

as you just raise my blood pressure so, early in the morning. i nearly fell from my chair when i read your posts.

na wa.

nwando you wan start war here o. Are you an idol worshipper, to talk this way? i thought you were Christian? or at least occasional churchgoer?

You know people from there say the exact same thing you're saying here about people from your own area.

when will this tribalism and tribal war ever end?

i tire o.

make i comot abeg.

reality4us:
My sister just be very careful with this relationship. You must have read what many of them testified here that adultry is a very serious offense in their place but they failed to tell you that it is only for the women. While the men are allowed by their traditions to indulge in as many adultrous relationships as possible any attempt by their wives is always tragic. So will you love to marry a man whose traditiion allows him to misbehave any how he wants while caging the wives?. The result could be disastrous as anything can happen outside. He might meet a woman outside who will do anything to eliminate you or some other disastrous consequences.

Please do not be decieved by this burning initial love. After some years of marriage when the love begins to wane down and shifts to the children, what happens.

ABEG SHINE YOUR EYES BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE

hmm this is just as scary as the other stories I heard. However, the person I know who had extramarital affairs and died some years later, was a man o. Even though he was from Asaba side, not kwale. I thought it must be a general thing in that area.  Maybe it was conicidence. Who knows.

This kind of thing you're saying does seem very harsh on the women, especially since adultery isnt limited to only one tribe in Nigeria, so why should the women suffer so much while the men are given free rein. But to the best of my limited knowledge,  men from that region do make very good husbands. The ones I know have been pretty impressive. They make sure their wives are comfortable, and they seem to have that drive to succeed in life.

however, @ topic, listen to what everyone is saying here, pray, and follow your heart. Do what's best for you.

[quote author=®~^Sly^~® link=topic=119877.msg2059770#msg2059770 date=1205601889]Bad eggs are in every tribe. . . no tribe is 100% perfect. . .they all have their good n bad!. . .

Poster. . .
There is nothing wrong with it. . . . . .what matters most is the love that exists between u both. . . [/quote]emmmmm, sly my good brother  , this one wey me and you dey jam everywhere for inside every Efik thread in this place, na coincidence? any idea why?

as you talk the other day say you be Yoruba and white, you sure say na so? Na 100% Yoruba and 100% white, abi some midwest/eastern Nigeria dey for inside?

Unless you also get lovebug for this matter- as in love interest from Efik tribe. I no know other explanation o.



no vex oooo my brother . I just dey talk the thing wey I see for nairaland.

@ topic: I seriously doubt it.

too many shockers and way too much uncertainty. 

never say never, really, but I dont think I'm that adventurous. I admire those who are. Dem try.

I just dont have the guts.

liftedone:
i'm from isoko south.
@tpia, we have similarities with the urhobos in our language, so "wadoo" is one of those words.

thanks.

so many tribes in Delta state. And many of the languages are so similar one would think they're a dialect of some other major one.

I've heard the same thing about adultery and the consequences, in that area, though maybe not the kwale side.

very scary stories. I also know someone who passed away some years after messing up his family with an extra marital affair. Dont know if it was coincidence or something else.

But the men do make good husbands. And very stable financially.

mancole:
u are very luky, we take care of women,serious

very true.

I have no idea.