₦airaland Forum

4Him:
tpia, the Kobe example is inappropriate. If the author of this thread had $400,000 as life savings he wont be here asking for your comments, he'd be long married.

I'm not necessarily emphasizing the money aspect, but also the ages. Kobe was 22 while his wife was 18 when they got married.

Dont know how rich smile4kenn is, but for the girl's parents to agree, then he must be doing quite well, imo. I have to say my major puzzle here is how the girlfriend's parents are in support of their daughter marrying so early.

another example: Kobe Bryant. Though he's not a regular everyday guy by any standards.  Wasnt Kanu Nwankwo's wife also rather young when they married? I think she had her degree though.

Maybe some parents wouldnt object if the guy is rich and plans to encourage the daughter to better herself.


from wiki:

On April 18, 2001, 22 year-old Kobe and 18 year-old Vanessa were married at St. Edward the Confessor Catholic Church in Dana Point, California. There were only about 12 guests at the wedding.

In 2003 Kobe and Vanessa also purchased a home for Vanessa's mother, Sofia Ubrieta just around the corner from their home so she could be closer to her grandchildren.


Vanessa Bryant is the only person in the world to own an automatic-only Lamborghini Murciélago. For her 19th birthday (May 5, 2001) Kobe gave her the car as a gift. According to car enthusiast magazine Dub, upon realizing Vanessa could not drive a manual transmission, Kobe had the car converted to an automatic by having a special adapter for the transmission installed. The estimated cost of the car after conversion and customization was $400,000.


In May 2005, Kobe surprised Vanessa with a $50,000 recommitment ceremony in Laguna Beach, California

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no daughter of mine can get married at age 19, unless she elopes and does it without my consent.

I don't know smile4kenn's exact situation, which is why I'm trying to see things from his angle. besides, I have a relation who married at age 17 or so, though that was back in the day. Her marriage is still okay now and the kids all grown and doing fine. Might be one reason why I find it difficult to be totally against smile4kenn's idea.

I tend to be rather sceptical about marriages in general these days, regardless of the couple's age anyway. Too many complaints and problems after the ceremony. No matter the couple's age, nationality or color.

if keeping culture alive means people criticizing me  because I don't measure up to their standard of cultural perfection, then make them siddon there. I no get time.


neither do I believe Africans are losing their identity anyway.  Rather, they are redefining culture to fit in with their environment. And most Africans I know will fight tooth and nail to keep their culture as they perceive it.

Come and see how folks in real life rain abuse on anyone they feel isnt following "culture". Nothing they wont accuse you of: pride, rudeness, arrogance, "lost", etc etc.  Na wa.

[quote author=R-Dynamite link=topic=113798.msg1974202#msg1974202 date=1203447747]May be you're talking about the very wretched, hunger and poverty plagued families??[/quote]that or the ones who betroth their kids at birth or when they're quite young, in the name of building ties.

edit.

nwando:
He says the girl is British not Nigerian

that's why I mentioned the high school sweetheart thingy. In western terminology.

marrying your high school sweetheart is rather less common among Nigerian girls of nowadays, imo. How will the couple survive in such a situation? In cases where it does happen, maybe the fiance is much older than the girl. Say like 10 or more years, and with a very good job and prospects.

At least I don't know too many young Nigerians marrying right out of secondary school. All that boyfriend/girlfriend stuff na for play or practice, most times.

@ everyone: you all speak true.

I was considering a Nigerian girl marrying right out of secondary school. I don't know too many instances of that, these days. Of course back in the olden days girls married at 16, 17 or 18, but I don't know too many instances now. Most Nigerian females like to further their education first, and it would be relatively rare for the parents to agree to the marriage of their 19 year old daughter. In a normal Nigerian scenario that is.

@AJ: so true about Obama's family background. Unfortunately, also true about many other marriages- some of which dont even last one year after the ceremony and people spending money on wedding gifts. Something that annoys me to no end- buying wedding gifts only to learn the couple broke up overnight. Not only young couples o.


@ R-Dynamite: free will as opposed to forced marriages. Some girls do marry quite young due to their parents or guardians wishes. But that wouldnt seem to be the case here.


why the guys no contribute sef? Too busy elsewhere? I mean why are no reasonable guys contributing.

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double post.

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Obama's mother married at age 18.  She was born in 1942 and got married in 1960. Obama was born August 1961. Countless other examples. I guess its the " high school sweetheart" phenomenon. Some become permanent, others don't.

I don't really want to bring in the race/nationality factor here, but some non-Nigerian girls are starry-eyed like that. In Nigeria, it might be relatively rarer for a young girl to want to marry so early, of their own free will. But some girls of other nationalities ( especially some western ladies) see nothing wrong with it.

The real issue at stake is will the marriage last. 50/50 chance, I think, depending on the couple. But then, given the high statistics of marriage problems that cut across any country or demographic, a wait and see attitude might apply.

@ poster: its true both you and your fiance are rather young. However, its up to both of you to figure out what you want. You still have to keep her education in mind though.

On the other hand, I also wonder if you're thinking you might lose her if you wait too long.

very pretty.  na Cameroun Douala or Cameroun Igbo?

she seems young though. But then, na everybody fine pass as teenager o.


Take her picture again from the ages of 26 to 34 and doublecheck.

I'm sure most girls have similar good looking teenage pictures. The age when you don't have to worry about being photogenic- it comes naturally most times.

the girlfriend may be the one pushing for an early marriage. Some girls are really like that- wanting to marry early, right out of high school.

What I dont really understand is her parents' agreeing to the decision. The OP did say her parents are in full support.


It all depends on the couple, I guess. Sometimes one can never really tell in advance which marriage is likely to work out and which one will hit the rocks.

For the OP to even be considering marriage at this time when a lot of guys his age are still busy confusing themselves about various parts of the female anatomy, says a lot about his character.

Rather unusual for a NLer- at least imo. I've gotten so used to seeing frivolous and ridiculous questions in certain sections around here. 

yes



is grapefruit better than tangerine?

@ topic: it may not necessarily be only about the spraying, but also the mentality behind the spraying.

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depends on if there are exciting topics and interesting posters.

"otherwise", I'm on vacation from all the typing. Back to normal life and less alarm from well meaning people wondering if I'm going loco- stuck in front of the computer for so long. Some wonder if you're browsing porn, given the amount of time spent online!

The beauty of internet forums is the interaction between different kinds of people who would most likely never meet in real life. Or get to discuss some issues featured here.


The downside of these same forums is the no holds barred all out slugfests which flare up in the absence of normal face to face contact. Its like when the Hon legislators of any given country ( not only Nigeria o) go ballistic on each other in the course of heated debate, and fists,chairs, tables, etc start to fly.

has the lady been banned again, or is she busy with some other stuff?

I noticed some of her posts and threads are missing!

People take things so personally!!!!

na wa for internet o- I used to read AP and VOA newswire, browse music and check out ebay before I got hooked on this forum wahala o!

I WILL get my old life back!!!!

She did heat up the joint. Made things a lot more interesting around here- but some couldnt see past the perceived  insults in her posts! Hmmm. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater!!!!!

anyway, no be do or die.  I don't get paid for being here, so I better get my behind on something that'll help cut down those bills!!!!

I don abandon sexuality section in the meantime- stuff was starting to sound too frazzled!!!!!

More scrambled than scrambled egg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, some men are faithful for most of their lives. Some will actually insist they've never cheated on their wives for upwards of a twenty year marriage.  Unless one wants to disbelieve any man who says he's not a cheater, there are really some men out there who don't see any glory in unfaithfulness.

However I doubt if its possible to be 100% sure a man isnt cheating on his girlfriend. Especially nowadays.

@ odada- you seem gay? Your song is one kind.


karma chameleon for you.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=A3u3HQtv61M

wishing all male Nairalanders happy and fruitful personal lives!!!

100 years


http://youtube.com/watch?v=NmoE8_U-JTw


I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on, 
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day, 
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Borrowing a leaf from Almondjoy- here's a couple of songs for male nairalanders!!!!!! Especially the ones chasing Hotfunmi everywhere!!!!!! And the ones having "unfortunate" encounters with their g/friends!!!!!!!!No woman is wishing you bad oo!! Take am easy!!!! Agree to disagree!!!!!

This song describes it all, imo. Its not easy being a man!!!

Superman


http://youtube.com/watch?v=84b949k8HCw


I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird, i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd, but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away, away from me
It’s all right, you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy, or anything,

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm,

Its not easy to be me

@ poster:


I really hope this is a joke sha, as in those pictures better not be real photos of her husband and son.

dont you think you're hitting below the belt here?

if you love her as much as you claim to, then you wouldnt be trying to stress her in this manner.

Are you considering her well being at all?

nwando:
when did we move from yvsck,a happily married woman who happens to be non Nigerian to Leilah and the beast

as you must have observed, people moved on to various other issues here, including preventing igbo bashing on this thread.

oziomatv:
are you trying to tell me that every missunderstanding that take place in your matrimonial home should be tabled in front of unknown invissible creatures in which you get some animalistic advice from town never do well people, then come back and expect a merit award from the same people? that's why I love my IGBOWOMEN not that we Igbomen are damm good but they tend to be homely and cultural and secretive.
           They only come out to very intimate friends to sick for advice that relate to their family. 

Leilah doesn't deserve that from a man he called her husband but it left for her to stand firm in front of that bastard (if proved) and say , boy enough of these trash and you have to behave yourself. Onething  women has to bear in mind is if you don't make yourself clear to men they'll not understand and respect who you are.

would you mind taking a peek at the Romance and Sexuality sections of Nairaland and tell me if all the posters there are non-Nigerian. So all those randy and weird topics are posted by foreigners?



so, in your opinion, a woman should be secretive even when she's covered in bruises from head to toe?  Not talking of Leilah here- just asking generally.

interesting.

@oziomatv

oziomatv:
Leilah need no open invitation to people to hate her hubby.
      she has in all way round cruxfied the poor IGBOMAN with every inhuman classification to the extent no girl on earth will accept him after breaking out from Leilah.
       So what else?

you're funny.

talk about exaggeration!

zigbo and jon adogo, please try not to take things too personal. This is a very interesting thread and I've found the dialogue and contributions very helpful. Not the disagreements though. Can we all agree to disagree. No need to ignore the main point here, which is analysing Seal's Kiss from a Rose.

jon adogo, I checked both links you mentioned here, and found them quite interesting. I'll be buying your book, since I want to review it further.

@ romeo

If you claim to be igbo and you don't speak igbo then you're a joker

There's a thread for that. Why not post there. especially when you want to abuse all non-Igbo speaking Igbos. Since people speaking or not speaking a language reduces your salary somewhere.  You teach Igbo?

So far you've been saying all your comments are preemptive. ie you're chasing imaginary ghosts. If the anti-Igbo comments are elsewhere on the forum, then why are you directing your attacks here in an attempt to bring in these anti-Igbo bashers? Why not go to where the actual Igbo bashers are and face them there? 





@ romeo

are all deltans igbos?

You tell me.

I believe the post you're referring to is clear enough. If someone says they're Igbo and from Delta, then anybody should know which part of Delta they're referring to. And once again- debating the Igboness or otherwise of Delta ibos should be for another thread.




@ romeo

Leilah's Husband is hated all over Nairaland because she wanted us to hate him

oh really? Who exactly is the  "all over nairaland" hating on leilah's husband? Once again, you're speaking in general terms about something which is not proven.

And point out exactly where leilah said in plain English that she wants people to hate her husband. What I noticed is people telling her she was married for papers.

@ joblinker and niplestar:

Indeed!!!