₦airaland Forum

she's so pretty, eeyah, lord have mercy.

smh.

as per the question, e no concern me whether he did or not.

banning the likes of dick dastardly would be a good start.

he's a boko haram agent.

most of the trolls who open useless threads are spies employed by terrorists.

just let the baby's father be, and move on.


some things happen, for reasons we dont know.

more importantly, since you're from a church background, try not to engage in casual sex in order to avoid going through the same situation again.

how do you know they dont?

besides, could be they want to maximize profits if true?

hmm, lord have mercy.

Onyiclassic: Phyno? My own phyno?? To marry my Granny's mate? No he wouldn't dare

would you like to bet linda or her followers, are tracking your ip right now.

in other news:


Apple Church draws iFaithful



Tom Riley and his Apple-fanatic ministry buddies joked for years about inspiring the same loyalty for Jesus as people have toward their iPhones and iPads.

Finally, Riley decided to take the logical step.

He gave his church a temporary make-over, putting the Apple symbol behind the pulpit and hanging a banner outside dubbing it “Apple Church.” The gimmick was meant to last a month and generate community interest. But Riley says the more they integrated Apple products into the church life, the more comfortable everybody felt, including the pastoral staff.

“Visitors were instantly at home and attendance went up fast,” he says. “We encouraged them to keep their iPhones and iPads out the whole time. The more we flowed with that, the less everyone wanted to go back to church as usual.”

The banner stayed, “Apple Church” became the official unofficial name and Riley implemented church-wide changes to essentially create the largest Apple accessory in the world — a church which lives and breathes Apple products while going about the business of the gospel.

“I’ve heard the talk about Steve Jobs being a ‘secular prophet’ and people’s religious devotion to Apple products, but I’m the first guy to put that to the test, and I can tell you – it works,” says Riley.

On foyer tables are iPads and Apple products available for casual use. For sale in the bookstore are Apple handheld devices and iMacs preloaded with Christian music, books, Bible apps and iCal filled with all church events. People can make a total life change before leaving church.

“Good morning,” says Riley on Sunday morning, the large, glowing Apple logo behind him on the platform. “Everyone get out your iPhones, iPads and Touches. If you haven’t checked in on Facebook or Foursquare, please do so now, let your friends know where you are. I don’t want to see you checking in later at the restaurant but not at church. On that note, I’d like to say hello to the mayor of our coffee shop, Dan Porter. Good morning, Dan, and congratulations.”

As people find seats, Riley greets “the Facetimers, joining us via your friends’ devices. Welcome.” Offerings and tithes are paid via PayPal Mobile.

During the sermon, large screens show live comments and questions posted by audience members. Riley responds to live posts during his sermon. Some offer useful observations. Others draw his scorn: “Real smart comment, Jn17:6. Thanks for commenting on my shirt selection today. Way to waste screen space at Apple Church.”

Riley says he’s not concerned with losing people’s attention to the myriad apps on their iPhones and iPads.

“If I can’t be more interesting than Facebook or Angry Birds, then I ought not be up here,” he says. “My buddies are afraid to let people self-direct during a service. I say give them freedom and then compete hard for their attention.”

He infuses his teachings with Apple-speak. The logo, naturally, is “a constant reminder of our rebellion,” he tells the congregation. “When you’re using an Apple product, your need for forgiveness is always in front of you.”

Transforming your mind becomes “getting system upgrades.” Grace is referred to as “God’s ultimate Command Z,” the command to undo the most recent action. Emulating good traits in others is “Apple C — copy and paste that into your life.”

He talks about “mental apps,” the subjects people think about most. He recently preached a series called “10.6,” studying all books of the Bible with a chapter 10 and verse 6, playing off the latest Apple system software.

“It seems random but there’s surprising coherence there,” says associate pastor Nick James with a laugh. Riley even wore a black mock turtle neck and jeans for a while, but staff told him the look was “getting old.”

Regular attendees enjoy the familiar environment.

“If I have 25 churches in town to choose from, I’ll choose this one because it feels like my normal life,” says one man who was drawn by the banner and now attends regularly with his girlfriend. “The Apple connections are a little cheesy, but it works. You start to see the parallels.”

During the final prayer Riley throws in a dig at other smartphone makers.

“You probably know some people who need salvation today. Android users, Blackberry users. These people need to see the light,” he says before turning to a serious presentation of the gospel.

He then invites people to a mid-week Cut the Rope competition in the fellowship hall before dismissing them.

“Criticism of my approach doesn’t bother me,” he says. “Jesus made the gospel as easy to access as an Apple product, and inspired even greater devotion. We should, too.”

http://www.larknews.com/archives/3331

[img]http://churchm.ag/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/iPadPew-620x464.jpg[/img]

10 Commandments for Using Your iPad in Church



10. Thou shalt have the Bible app installed.

Seriously, it’s got over one million downloads. I don’t think it is possible to love Jesus and not have YouVersion on your smart phone or tablet.


9. Thou shalt look up occasionally just to let the pastor know you’re listening.

If you eyes are down during the whole sermon, you’re either asleep or checking your Instagram feed. C’mon, don’t lie. You were double tapping that cute baby photo.


8. Thou shalt not yell, “Yes!”

Even if you are responding to a point the pastor made, everyone’s going to think you just got past a really hard level on Candy Crush.


7. Thou shalt not be tweeting, unless it’s about the sermon.

Don’t send tweets about where you’re going for lunch. And, most definitely, do not retweet a sermon quote from the church across town. You know your pastor follows you on Twitter.


6. Thou shalt delete any TV viewing app during NFL season.

Sometimes the temptation is too great. You don’t want to even have the option to take a peak a pregame shows if the sermon runs long.


5. Thou shalt have the volume turned off.

Nobody needs to hear your weird email notification sound. Plus, if you happen to break commandment number 6 with the sound turned up … your team is so going to lose.


4. Thou shalt not hoard the church WiFi.

There’s only so much bandwidth to go around. Don’t be the guy who waits until he gets to church to download a month’s worth of app updates. Some people are trying to stream the game, er, the sermon.


3. Thou shalt not bring a charger to plug in to a wall outlet.

Are you really going to endanger the lives of the elderly guy taking up offering because you freak out when you drop below 75% battery life?

2. Honor your pew mates that your battery life may be long on this earth.

Dim that screen brightness down so as not to blind everyone sitting near you. Thankfully, no ships need your iPad to serve as a lighthouse to help them steer clear of your church building.

1. Thou shalt have no other gadgets before thee.

There is a strict one per lap limit. If you have your tablet out, keep your smart phone in your pocket. Using your Kindle? Don’t pull out your iPad. At that point, you’re just showing off and clearly breaking commandment 4 and probably a few others.


http://thewardrobedoor.com/2013/08/10-commandments-for-using-your-ipad-in-church.html

watching p.orn in church is wrong not because you're distracting other worshippers, but rather, its wrong because you lack respect for God and the house of God.

spiritual things.

the question of why are you watching p.orn to begin with, is another topic.

are people still saying AAs and africans are the same?

whats the other part, assuming you're telling the truth.

vicoson: threaten you? Am I your husband? I meant to say there is no need for competition in marriage. Everybody should be ready to play their role well. If you need a perfect man to submit to, marry Jesus.

like i pointed out, your ancestral enemies are doing a number on your head.

Weah96: So basically Jesus was only predicting John's psychedelic vision on the island of Patmos not making a statement about his return per se? .

Romans 4:17

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit

not sure you understand the meaning of "the kingdom of God"?

abi o ya were ni?

did you read the thread title or your ancestral enemies are doing a number on your head?

you threaten me again here and God will handle you.

btw, are you nigerian, @ op.

didnt check your picture while on the other thread.

so, the op saw this:

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/PY98542BoY4/0.jpg








and fear did not catch him.

na wa o, you don take agbo bath ni? spiritual fortification things.

Austeenx: [color=orange]Staying at home on a Sunday morning was a bit weird, but when I heard the pastor preach, I preferred that weirdness.

And yeah, I now stay at home viewing those pictures. [/color]

Good for you.

There is also love in non christian families though, its not exclusive to christians.

austeenx


So, why were you in church then?

You could have stayed home and viewed her pictures in peace.

thorpido: sometimes people need to be taught.You know faith commeth by hearing.

I think everyone is reading from the same bible.

How long do they need to keep on being reminded of the same thing, is this a case of ever learning and never knowing?

Austeenx: [color=orange]One of the reasons I no longer go to church.
The last time I was in church[Easter Day 2013] the usher virtually embarrassed me for seeing me smiling with my eyes glued to my phone screen. [/color]

What were you looking at on the phone?


Btw, why have churches stopped asking or reminding people to turn off their phones during service.

Using technology- good or bad?