₦airaland Forum

genq:
Let's not be quick to copy all aspects of the western world - abandoning your parents to rot in a care home in old age is a very wicked, sickening and disgraceful thing to do.

The whites who practice such have descended into moral decadence. No roots, no culture - they die in misery and isolation.

As for me, I can never do such to my parents who laboured most of their lives, not just for their own gain, but also to propel me and my siblings into financial independence.

Staying in Nigeria to care for your parents would provide them companionship without sacrificing their social well being.

I'd say don't leave the country if you feel the western world has decadent values and doesn't care for older people.

Nigeria has roots and culture, you shouldn't make your parents vacate that.

It's rather selfish when you say you support your parents but go away to further your own ambition instead of helping them by remaining physically around.

By Nigerian standards?

There is a lot of fear right now, of being inadequate to meet the needs of parents and consequences of not doing so.

List your expectations and responsibilities as a Nigerian adult, towards your parents, just to be clear.

** No mention of wife/husband or what she did or didn't do please, keep the discussion limited to yourself and your parents alone**

It's very embarrassing being asked to leave in such an undignified manner no doubt.

God should help parents to be godly, and God should also help kids to be godly also.

There is no winning or losing here.

Also, parent is not only biological, as your non biological parent can also care for you.

It's a good thing if South Africa is training more home grown medical professions, I was not aware Nigerians were filling so many of the professional opportunities, I'd assumed indigenous South Africans had covered the gap long before now, as obtained elsewhere in the world.

I only recently realized that might not have happened.

The current proficiency Nigeria has in training home grown professionals for the Nigerian workplace, is also as a result of the openings created when people left around the independence era. It's good we filled that void and even export talent now.

Perhaps Nigerians should stop aspiring to be rich if it offends people.

maybe let the govt handle everything.

gidgiddy:
Theres nothing to explain, who ever wrote that made a foolish mistake. Ajayi Crowther is not a Nigerian

What do you want him to be called?

Extensive argument is unnecessary.

I'm just tired of the misery a Nigerian feels at the thought of moving to Nigeria. It's so discouraging.

If you want to deeply offend and hurt a Nigerian, just mention the possibility of them moving back home. That is one of the worst insults you can ever give them. Especially the ones who actually lived there before migrating.

What kind of quandary is this.

Personally, I feel that if I can't be my parents' retirement plan, then I've failed in life.

It's unfortunate you feel that way, perhaps you should have reconsidered your decision to leave Nigeria if it would distance you from your parents.

People live in their parents' house according to their individual situations and preferences, it's not always black and white or western versus African.



Many parents in Nigeria (I can't speak for the whole of Africa because I don't always know what obtains outside Nigeria) depend on their pensions from the government or what they can raise to sustain themselves, not every parent prefers to have to look to their children's whims for sustenance.

That's my own opinion.

It doesn't even paint a good picture of Nigerians if we are always depending on people for everything. If you help your parents, other folks don't need to hear, that's the sign of a well balanced child. Posting it online for everyone to know accomplishes what exactly? They are your parents, fulfill your duties to them as much as you can without involving the whole world.

@ topic

In Nigerian culture, members are expected to work for the community, not personal interests. So, especially in Nigeria, any resources a person has (money, property, etc) is used for the benefit of the community, not necessarily or always their own children.

If children are not there, the parent will take up responsibility for someone else in need, so beating yourself up over how much you can repay your parents for all they did for you, does not mean they would not be ok without you.

It's a harsh truth but it is what it is.

Someone with a strong mind can insist on using his or her resources for his/her own offspring, many would just seek community approval while others would raise kids to have a strong sense of guilt towards them and the kids would forever be trying to assuage that guilt by compensating with over pampering the parents in order to feel loved and from a sense of obligation. There is no balance.

op just don't marry or get into any relationship, with everything you spelled out there.

It makes no sense for you to bring in another person to come between you and your mum.

Dedicate your time to taking care of her.

It's not a big deal, ko si wahala.




Meeting people at whatever point in time, is something that happens and continues to happen, the only constant is you. Nothing else is necessarily guaranteed.


Personality is also important in understanding behaviour.

Why is this tunde ednut just constantly complaining all the time?

umarshehu58:
Op work on your site please.

The instagram link isn't clicking

It's tunde ednut as usual.

Very unproductive fellow, always bitter.

For those who eagerly anticipate such catastrophes, it's not a good thing.

The world changed after that.

If only we knew anything.

What a scary and sad day, seemed like the apocalypse.

Hope the airline would be reimbursed for the expense.

How is he mentally unstable?

He decided to video himself with a mop and bucket scooping up the ocean doesn't mean it's mental issues.

There needs to be further evidence.

greeners222:
Nairalanders I noticed on this travel section we don't have any forum for people that intend to travel to Canada just for visiting or tourism we only got Canada student visa forum and when people try to ask for help on there people don't render any help. I'm not a Visa guru myself. I created this so people can drop there problem and some Nairalanders that knows better can answer them back. Thanks

I went through the first few pages and didn't see any touristy places listed, any recommendations from anyone?



Note:I might have missed those if they're on the thread, it's 317 pages.

I reported the two folks who posted insults instead of conversation.


In case anyone was wondering.

https://www.quora.com/When-did-South-Africa-gained-independence-How-did-they-accomplish-it

So, according to this quora question, South Africa began democracy in 1994, which I guess is considered the date (maybe informal) of independence?

Why do people say South Africa became independent in 1994?

I remember wondering about that because I've always known South Africa to be independent.

Is this extended discussion and counter arguments just to keep the thread trending on google and search engines (helping the op), or is any of it meant to be taken seriously.

christiana77:
"Agba ko ni tan lorile”. May you live long to bless this generation

All life is in the hands of God, who distributes it as He wills, but amen and thank you for your prayer, wishing you the same.

I'll just say focus on and take care of yourself, because when people start doing things with audacity and impunity around you (I mean someone), it's a sign there is more going on than what appears and you might be in danger.

A lady said to me once, "The people doing you are wearing skirt and blouse", meaning it's fellow believers who are behind whatever I'm seeing. That might be true but I'm not as concerned about who is trying to do what to me, as I am about staying as whole as God allows.

christiana77:
From Ibadan

hm, well, there are some things they don't tell people about cultural behaviours (not specifically any one place) before they venture into marriage. The spouse is left to discover along the way and sometimes the "call of the wild" supercedes any other conditioning the party involved may have attempted to instil in his or her self, including the biblical spirit. It doesn't help when people actively participate, many don't even bother to hide their involvement.

It's unfortunate when this happens, there are so many consistent stories about it one can only assume it's fairly regular.

If he's hopping from woman to woman (keep in mind it might be a smokescreen and the person controlling everything is waiting in the shadows) then I'm not sure if you still prefer to salvage the situation if that's possible? It's up to you.

There are different types of attention (sources maybe):

It's important to understand the root prior to drawing conclusions or responding.

1. Jealousy and envy?

2. Ancestral enemies?

3. Destiny snatchers?

4. Admiration?

5. Love?

6. Someone in your extended social circle did something to somebody and someone in their extended social circle is out for revenge?

7. You have something somebody wants?

8.You are providing gainful employment for somebody?

9. Past insults you dished out to somebody say on nairaland?

10. Cultural reasons?

11. Greed?

12. etc etc.

Not all attention has only one cause so the attentions have to be examined separately.

simplesearch:
Evil spirits always trying to convince us of how other peoples relationship are better than ours thereby making us get tired of our God given partner, when in essence the grass we think is greener in the other side may not be half as ours.

People have various reasons for venturing into something, including relationships.

These might not always be clear to a casual observer, the people inside would know.

Quality20:
I mean a responsible lady shd look for a man that looks responsible while agbero lady may look for agbero man. ko jubelo

ok.

Your use of the word "deserve" was somewhat confusing.

Is aunty married?

I don't know that's why I'm asking oh. Because I might post something now and she jumps up and starts throwing insults everywhere whereas I know nothing about this lady?

It's not everytime I use google.

Tinalex:
This needs to statt in Naija oooo.....dunno why Naija women are too uptight n spiritual!!!

Those who aren't spiritual are free to try it nah, why emphasizing spiritual.

Of the millions of Nigerian women available, it shouldn't be the churchgoers testing the waters.

The bible says some things should not even be mentioned among believers, this is one of them.

I'm sure there are plenty of Nigerian ladies who wouldn't mind swapping their husbands for someone better while remaining married, but the church should not be the first port of call.

Is this enquiry on behalf of Nigerians who want somewhere they can migrate to for better opportunities?

I'm not familiar with Paraguay at all. Are any Nigerians currently there? I came across some history about an Oyo descendant around that area.