₦airaland Forum

Easter Weekend is time to be home with family and celebrate the death and Resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. In Nigeria, we do not know much about egg hunting and painting and other Western stuff, honestly unlike Christmas, Easter celebrations are kinda boring in many families. People just dress up, go to church, come back home, eat Sunday rice and chicken, and... that's it. Some go nap while others get busy with gadgets taking and posting pics Online. Here is how you can make your Nigerian Easter
celebration more fun for the whole family.
Easter holiday continues till Monday, so, here is how we do it in my family: On Sunday morning, everyone goes to church, my gele tying always makes us late for Easter services anyway and because this is a special Sunday, we do not come back to spend the whole day cooking rice and sweating and entertaining guests. Well, we do cook when we invite friends for Easter Lunch or dinner but that doesn't happen every year. This year, my family already have plans for our Nigerian Easter celebration. No stress, we celebrate the resurrection and have fun together.

After church, we'll drive somewhere not too expensive like Tantalizers or Mr Biggs or my favourite Aunty Ajobi at Drumstix; eat lunch and go from there for an Easter movie at the cinemas. Aunty Eya, we live in Abuja too, so, after the movie, we spend some time at the galleria, if you'll be there please holler at moi. while the kids play fun games and do a few other things. By this time it should be evening already if not night. Home we go from here, eat some light quick dinner and that's it.

How to spend Easter Monday:
Because this is a holiday, we create fun but, basically not much... There is a general morning devotion in the sitting room where we all gather and praise God. We go for a picnic at noon, spend the rest of the day there, return and watch an Easter movie at home after Dinner, then it's a good night.
Please share on the blog in case others have fun suggestions for Easter in Nigeria.
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/how-to-celebrate-have-fun-easter-in.html

It is abou Christ! And yes, not about you SILLY BUNNY!
Easter symbolizes the renewal of life. I wish you and your family the renewal of life, love, and happiness. May Jesus Christ bless you and your family with abundant happiness and
inner peace. May you have a Blessed Easter.
Just like after every night comes a new day and after darkness comes light, after a painful death comes The Resurrection and new life. The Rising of Christ is the sinking of the old man, the sinking of your problems. May we all live this new life with honour and Loyalty not to betray him again.
Happy Easter Everyone!
Source: www.wivestownhallconnection.com

I suffered in my relationship and marriage in the past but I'm a survivor. When I was 24, I fell in lust with a man 15 years older than me. I was so naive, I believed everything he said to me, said he was going to divorce his wife and
marry me and I believed him, but in the meantime, that I should move into a small self contained apartment he rented for me around the outskirts. By this time I was already graduated and just got a job in Lag so my parents are not here and unaware of what's happening in my life. All they know is that their daughter is working in Lagos. When I started to send money regularly, I guess they just became thankful and suspected that my job was really really paying.

I happily moved into the lonely apartment and he never really divorced his wife but saved me from expensive house rent payments or so I thought. In fact 2 years later she divorced him when she got tired of his lies and late nights and fake trips. As soon as I moved into this rented apartment, the control started, I had to become what he wanted me to be, it was his way or nothing and I was so in lust. He looked for reasons to make me leave my job but that didn't work as he would tell me my job was too stressful and he didn't want any of that for me, that he could afford to pay me double my salary and that he wanted me to be home whenever he visited. In my journey of trying to please him I lost myself and became his no-brain-mistress all the way. In the 4 years that I spent in that relationship, I became more foolish, he controlled my finances and never allowed me to go back to school to read for my masters as planned. In fact he said it was ok not to do a Masters degree because he could comfortably take care of me and my kids when I agree to marry him.

2 years after we started the affair, his wife left him and he asked that I move him with him and you know what, in the period of this relationship I didn't even have friends anymore, I was completely lost in him and wated to spend every minute at home with him, I couldn't tell my parents and no friends to turn to for advise so I started staying longer, even spending weeks at his place because his wife had left with their 2 kids.
In the middle of all this I became pregnant and now really wanted him to go meet my parents and plan our wedding before anyone gets to know about the pregnancy but he kept on delaying until it was obvious and I had that baby out of wedlock and became his slave like play, like play.

He began to show the other side of him after I had my baby girl, he got angry once, left us at a hotel room with no money, we stayed till evening before he came back to check if I have learnt my lesson. I was pushed out of a car once for the mere reason that I attempted to argue his decisions. Not up to one year after I had my baby, I was forced to go for 2 abortions because I couldn't get pregnant again out of wedlock and he was in no hurry to go meet my parents who have at this time become frantic as to why I cannot travel home for Christmas or any other family events. My brothers were also worried but couldn't do much because I am the older one. I haven't told anyone about my baby, neither do they know I was living with a man. I tried my best to convince them that my job was very stressful and gave me no time for other things.

Eventually we went to Ikoyi registry and took his friends as witnesses. We are married be dat... but things never got any better in our relationship.

On the one time, he slapped me, it was so hard, it took my jaw out of place and until this day I still suffer from that injury at that exact same time every year. It went from worse to worser; We were somewhere, he introduced his friend to me and I shook hands with a smile, you won't believe he beat me up when we got back home, broke my eye glasses and accused me of making him do it. These were designer glasses and I had to make him spend his money to buy me new glasses with an apology. I suffered and suffered but continued to make excuses for myself, continued to find reasons and excuses why I cannot leave him.

On a Saturday morning in the cold Harmattan, We were exercising together and I couldn't do certain movements the way he was teaching me. my man got angry and impatient with me, I got pushed into the machine. My knee was injured and I had to go to the hospital, there I lied to the Doctors that I fell down the staircase. I could see from their looks that they didn't buy my story but what can they do?
He used to tell me very bad words like "I know I am making you the best wife but for someone else, because you are not for me"

I was dragged across the floor by my hair. I just remained silent and never fought him back just to avoid making my kid aware. When he asked for forgiveness, he would cry and if am not forgiving him, he'll get angry again and force me to accept that I'd forgiven him.
I am no longer a victim. I left him. My parents forgave me. If I came to the blog for advice, would you guys have asked me to stay?
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/ill-like-to-share-my-story-with-wives.html

Ujoan:
Dear OP . ..

1. Is your wife over 30? Sex drive reduce with age . .

2. Did she just have a child? Childbirth can reduce sexual pleasure . .

3. Has she always been that way? Well people rarely change . .

4. Is she trying not have another child? This would totally explain the Condom request (I do it too )

5. Did you cheat on her or betray her trust in any way? This could kill any form of attraction she has of you . . .

6. Does she have a domestic help? I've never seen a libido killer as great as exhaustion . . .

Irrespective of the answer to these questions, one thing is certain your wife is no longer attracted to you sexually. This is the time for you to quit grumbling and find a way to regain her interest

If you were a woman I would tell you to buy sexy red lingerie, romantic fragrance and hot costume

But since you are man, you may want to consider a romantic get away (without the kids), go down on her (MouthAction) . . . Don't make it all about inserting your kini . . . You can give her a massage starting from her shoulder and graaaaadually go down . .

You need to work hard . . . and I wish u the best!

Great Advice! OP listen to Ujoan and others please. It's well. Communication, communication, communication.

Everytime you see that happening, take a picture of yourself, another time people stare at you, take a picture. Do that for a couple days and compare the pics. Look at them very well and see what's different.

These are carefully selected Nigerian recipes fit for celebrations. They'll keep Nairalanders and our loved ones licking fingers and asking for more.
http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/nigerian-easter-recipes-to-try-this.html

aydelicious:
really...

That doesn't mean forever oh. Till you need to cook. I have kept mine for 5 months. Still very good

RoyalRoy:


I will start first!!!

I am Roy, a yoruba boy with international sense

Born, bred & buttered in Naija, single & still mingling!!

I stay in U.S half year & half year in Naija, man must work & chop u know!!

Best colour is anything Red & White.....all things bright & pure I must say!

Roy is an old french word for King, hence the username Royal Roy......I am so Royal & Loyal........yes boss!!!


Am single, not for long I hope, having too much stuff to work on right now & combining family will slow me down....my opinion!

Am a rare specie(according to my friends), Am fun loving, love music like my life, I could be a party freak in a month, and a churchy dude in between!! Lemme just say I do what suits my spirit at the time!

I love football, watch the epl games religiously, I am a great formula 1 fan too, got so much passion for cars, fast & furious u can say that again!!

Special Talent.......ability to convince people (not always 100%)

Enough of me!!


Let's meet you

NOT MARRIED BUT YOU LIKE FAMILY SECTION? OYA GO GET MARRIED ALREADY.

I'm married for just 8 months but already want out and happy.

I’m 33 years old. I’ve been married to my wife for 8 months now, and I’m already so unhappy that I’m considering leaving for good. Prior to getting
married, we dated for 1 year,


Over the past 8 months of our wedding, my wife? she’s become very lazy I don't know why. I would say she’s worked a total of 3 months during that time. Since I've known her, she's worked like 3 jobs, whenever she gets upset about something, she becomes very impatient and quits. I convinced her about going to school instead, and she did the same thing; she went for 2 weeks, got upset with her computer instructors, and dropped out, just 2 weeks, who get's upset with her lecturer and leaves school in this economy? I don't blame her because she doesn't feel the pinch of fee payment.


Another thing that worries me is that Whenever I’m home, which are the weekends, she sleeps on the couch till 11 to 12 noon, On some weekends, she either reads her large novels in bed or hangs out on the couch. I tried asking her why and She tells me she only does that when I’m home because I throw off her routine, but it’s hard to believe that when that’s all I see. To be fair, she does cook even though rather late most times, and cleans the house when she feels like it. On the other hand she has a huge list of tasks that have been waiting to get done for months. Unless I decide to do something myself, or help her out with a task, it won’t get done.


Myself, I’m a hard worker (workaholic). I got my work ethic from spending a year in the military that's long ago before this boko haram nonsense started. I work at a high paying but very stressful job. I value hard work, my father used to be very very hardworking, my mother as well, they worked so hard and gave us a good life, and I easily get upset when I don’t feel people around me are doing their fair share. Even before we got married, I was bitter that I had to go to work every day while she just gets to stay home and do whatever ( I have known her for sometime and we basically lived together for sometime before the wedding because her family members are not based here. Now that we’re married, the unwillingness to work hard just seems to be magnified since I now have to permanently pay her beauty bills, hair bills, fashion bills, shoe bills and every other other bills as well.

We talked about preparing to start having babies and raising a family here in Nigeria. We agreed on certain things, have been trying to make lifestyle changes, but I’m the only one that follows through. She’s gained weight since we started dating, she loves junk and fatty fried foods that only help her increase in size. Immediately after the wedding, I suggested that we start going to the gym together, but I’m the only one that works out regularly. She always finds excuses not to go, her registration card still looks as new as yesterday. If now that we are free she cannot find time to go work out, is it when babies start coming? I'm not the kind of guy that will come home from work stressed and wish to see a round fat wife opening the door for him. I like slim and fit and she knows it. She has gained over 12 kilograms since we started dating till now and doesn't seem really bothered about it.

I won't lie here, I have to bare my mind so that help can get to me. It’s reached the point where I’m just completely fed up with my wife. I’m sick of her being lazy all the time and not working or showing interest. After she left her last job and stopped attending the computer excel and power point classes, I asked for an updated CV and uptil this moment, she hasn;t given me her CV. as it just makes me feel resentful. I’m sick of her drinking a glass of wine every night before bedtime claiming it helps her sleep better, I’m sick of her not trying to get back in shape (Honestly, I’m not really physically attracted to her anymore). I don’t really want to have sex with her, and we only have sex once a month. I’m not even really sure if I love her at this point. And there is no other woman in the picture. I'm not the flirting type and cannot change now. I promised never to cheat on her and I won't but I can leave the marriage if it doesn't bring desired happiness and I feel it's better now that kids are not involved.

We’ve already tried church counseling together. We sit before the pastor and it's just the same one sided forum. I’ve explained the problems I’ve had with her, she acknowledges the problems, but then doesn’t do anything about them. I’m the only one that brings up issues each time we went to see the pastor or his wife. My wife doesn’t seem to have any issues with me, or at least won’t bring them up when I try to ask, so when we do discuss issues it seems like it’s just a one way conversation. I look like the fault finder before her. Now I don’t even feel that going to see our pastor is worthwhile because I don’t think she’s going to do anything about her issues. Within this period of living together as husband and wife, I’ve basically lost faith in her ability to follow through with anything.

My wife is not the same person I knew before we dated, and not the same person I fell in love with. I knew all these problems existed prior to getting married, but somehow thought that getting married would fix things up. I think I realized a few months before the wedding that it wasn’t going to help, but by that time we had booked everything and put down a bunch of deposits, sent Invites and I didn’t want to back out and disappoint so many people. I’m also concerned that I’m so down at this point that even if she does change, it’s

Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/by-time-i-realized-we-had-booked-down.html

Cutehector:
why not eat the leaves and the stalk instead.

Why would I eat smth dat's unripe?


Health benefits my foot.

YOU DON'T KNOW? The leaves and stalk are medicinal. Great home remedies

Cutehector:
Dnt just cook Dat trash in my house. If I want to eat pawpaw, I'd buy it fresh!

Variety is the spice of life na. A trial has just convinced me. Unripe pawpaw has some great health benefits too, can you eat raw unripe pawpaw?

goodmorning40:
That is awkward

I thought so too until I tried it just yesterday. Thankfully I took pics. Very crunchy and tasting very different from what you think o.

goodmorning40:
That is awkward

I thought so too until I tried it just yesterday. Thankfully I took pics. Very crunchy and tasting very different from what you think o. If you like good kpomo, you'll like it.

Dry unripe pawpaw can be stored in airtight containers and kept for as long as you want.

How To Cook Nigerian Pawpaw Soup

Pawpaw soup is very easy to cook, a delicacy of the South South, particularly Obudu People of Cross River State, Nigeria. This soup is now loved by many Nigerians from other tribes. The ease of cooking pawpaw soup is what is most attractive. To make this nutritious delicacy, you need to first of all wash and peel unripe pawpaw, clean the inside and throw away the seeds; next you dice or cut into your favourite tiny shapes and dry very well. Your dry unripe pawpaw is ready for any Nigerian soup, it's added when cpoking is done, so you can add to your yummy ogbono, egusi, white soup or even okro vegetable soup. If you know the many health benefits of pawpaw, you'll try this easy to cook Naija soup. Your family will thank you for this. Super delicious and crunchy.

Health Benefits of pawpaw:
http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/how-to-cook-unripe-pawpaw-papaya-soup.html

left Nigeria long ago but, still feels like home when I come Online and connect with Nigerian blogs like wives connection and a few others. can you please help me post my little challenge with my adult son on the blog for advise? Three years ago, my then 25 year old son met a girl, 23, and "fell in lust" here in the US .....unknown to me and my husband at the time, she was already married
somewhere. She met our son and had to have him and left her husband. We found out later that prior to her first marriage, she had been engaged in a different State but the man walked out on her before the wedding.


She rebounded immediately and married the second guy who perhaps was somewhere or secretly in the picture. Not long after their wedding, she met my son and quickly left her wedded husband for him.
My lovely son's whole wonderful personality changed upon meeting her. He started lying to us just to protect her and we didn't even realize at the time that those were lies.....but, things just didn't feel right. Ok, later, we found out about all the lies. Once, we found out, she turned on us and convinced him to leave home and relinguish all contact with his past and start a new life with her, which he cowishly did.
Her divorce was finalized in March, 2013 and they married August, 2013....she got pregnant in October and now about 2 years later, they have two kids (Twin) and we have not seen our son in all these years and I was able to talk to him just last year 2015, but that's been it.
He has had some friends and a couple family members try and contact him but he isn't allowed to accept the phone calls at all, I have never seen this kind of thing. If we were back home in Nigeria, we would have concluded she used juju or cast a spell on him. Once he tells her about the calls from other people or friends trying to reach out to him, she returns the calls herself and cusses them out saying they want nothing to do with his past and that she is the best thing that ever happened to him and his past is "dead".



In this short period of time, they have moved 3 times because of jobs. I finally got the nerve to call his past employer and they said he was going to be terminated so he left for another job. When I asked why? they implied his wife was the main reason. My son was a Youth Minister of Music in churches over here. Evidently, her jealously caused problems and she told people stuff and he had to go lie to cover up for her. I asked the church pastor if I should be a concerned mother for my son's emotional welfare. The pastor's wife emphatically told me that if she was his mother, she would be a very concerned mother.
Bottom line now is, his dad and I haven't seen him in about 3 years and don't want to do anything to wreck his marriage but we are worried sick about his mental well being. His actions to us; moving with a woman who was still legally married, getting married to her after the divorce, inability to keep a job and all the lies upon lies to cover up for and protect his wife, it's just too much for his well being.
We are made to understand he was in counseling at his past church but according to the story, his wife made him quit because she didn't like what he was hearing.



Is there anything I should be doing or should I stay out of it? My husband thinks I will need to wait until he
http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/we-are-worried-about-my-son-and-his.html

It saves a whole lot of cost when you do all in one day with one reception. Registry in the morning with your pastor and witnesses present to bless the marriage. Trad later in the day with reception holding after the trad. Invites sent for trad only. At the end of the day, you are properly married without borrowing.

Happy Birthday ATMC, Long Life and prosperity dear.

I am 25, married and just had a baby four months ago. My mother-in-law and I have never really been very close, she never liked me while I dated her son and I could sense it even though there was no confrontation then. We are from different tribes and from what my husband told me, she wanted him to marry a girl from their tribe and was disappointed when he introduced me to the family. She came out of her room after like about 30 minutes of me being in the sitting room and chatting with
other family members when I first visited, she smiles briefly and never shows interest in having discussions with me when we are alone. I realized she contributes and looks lively when it's a general discussion and everyone is seated but once we are left alone, she kinda switches off and just minds her business. Short answers are all I get when I try to talk with her. Ok, since hubby (My fiance then) assured me there is no big deal that she feels disappointed and will get over it when we eventually tie the knots, I tried my best not think too much about her actions until we wedded.

I had a conflict with her some time back, she wanted me to spend a major time of my omugwo vacation with the baby in their house as opposed to staying in my parents' house), it's my first and I wanted the best, aside that, she never really treated me with love so I didn't feel comfortable accepting that invitation ( We all, both his family and mine live in the same town) why wouldn't I enjoy my mother's care first before any other? After the omugwo in my parents place, I intended to spend some time at their family home too but she kept giving excuses and didn't want us anymore. Now, the whole family including her other 2 daughters have stopped communicating with me... they blocked me off of Facebook etc but kept in touch with my husband. When I mention this to my husband he just says that since they have not been mean with him and he can't remember any negative memories from his sisters, he doesn't care about how this relationship stays between his family and me and that time will take care of things. That he loves me and that it's him I married and not them, he wants me to not be bothered but I'm very worried. So basically, I should not feel bothered that my husband's family only keeps in touch with him and makes me feel like an outsider since I have him? Am I overthinking here? Isn't he supposed to try to mend things between me and his family?
Is my husband correct to say I shouldn't care and also please I would like to know what should be my expectations from my husband?
I really don't know but my general idea is, if somebody is wrong or being mean with me, whoever that person is, my husband should stand up for me. isn't that what couples do? When my sister-in-law (The senior) decided to block me off from her Facebook, her husband did the same.

Posted Also @ www.wivestownhallconnection.com

shaiba:
I'm happy for you, taking a step in the right direction.

Relationships of any kind is to help each other's weakness.

She may have some underlying pains that tends to trigger this anger, like you said she lost both parents and was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. What type of religion would separate a family? Has she tried to re-unit with them? They are the ones that will still give her out in marriage according to custom. What step has she/u taken to resolve this?

She has not enjoyed parental love or that kind of family love? This she found in you. She is lost and frustrated at the same time. You need to talk more about everything and anything. let her know you are ready to listen and not try to solve all her problems. You are now her father and mother.

As Christians, your foundation should be in the word of God. There are great prophets of God that lost out in God's Blessings because of anger.
Two can only walk together if they agree...

You should both go for counseling

See a therapist if need be.

Think, talk, pray and talk again.

I pray God to help you both in taking the right decision.

To add to what Shaiba said, She is 23, she'll surely outgrow this. When kids start coming in, she'll learn by force. Children have a way of driving one up the wall, what will she do? Will she throw her kids away? Talk with her about this attitude and maybe threaten to end things if she doesn't change, get counselling too but at the back of your mind, just know she'll change with time.
It's well. The heart of the king, the fiancee and everybody is in God's hand.

Am a 25yr old lady, my marriage is less than 2 yrs with a 10 months old daughter. Hubby has a female married friend dat is close to him, dey've been friends even before we got married and all. They do call themselves 'sweety' ,'honey', and 'Shugah'. Initially i complained, but he assured me
nothing is goin on, that they are just good friends and nothing more. Even her husband is aware of their friendship. It almost cost serious issues in my home, I decided to let it be, Only God will judge them if it's more than he is saying it is.

Somtime Last yr, I sent a facebook request to the lady's husband, the next day hubby came to ask me why will i send a request to her hubby, asking me if am a friend to him or have i ever seen or spoken to him, that will make me send a request to him.I was shocked by that question, I told him, i just sent the request without anything in mind, since we were all trying to be cool with their friendship. That issue ended as i canceled the request.Just yesterday after up to a yr of that issue, hubby was telling me how the lady recently brought up the topic again and was still amazed that i could send her hubby a request, unto as she is chatting with my hubby, lemme do the same with hers. She said i was been childish for doing that.This lady is question seniors me with 6 yrs and has two children, currently pregant for the third.My question is this, was i wrong to send a request? why is she still having that in mind after almost a yr? Should i go to her office and talk it out with her and really understand her issue with me? Or should i let the sleeping dog lie. Note: They are not having any
Source: www.wivestownhallconnection.com
Story post: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/she-is-friends-with-my-husband-am-i.html

I've been married going on 14 years, my husband and I are in our mid and late forties and we are no longer having any intimacy, there is no intimacy at all, it feels robotic and forced when anything does happen in our
room. I feel like a helpless prisoner since I lost my banking job. He needs me to leave the room when he uses the bathroom like seriously? Sometimes I want to be stubborn and go nowhere but he is very controlling and I don't want neigbours to hear that roaring voice of his, so I leave and return when he is done if I like. Aunty Eya you won't believe my own husband that begged me to marry him is now the one that says to me "I'll get back to fucking you soon, just be patient with me.

Honestly, I don't know how to reply to that. I don't even touch him on impulse anymore because i'm afaid of rejection. But it's ok to massage him though and he won't say he's tired when it's a massage. Anything other than that or a little bit more and he starts complaining of tiredness. I used to at least give him oral everyday but then I got discouraged and tired of being the one on the giving end all the time, it became once in a blue month and eventually I stopped completely. If he cannot quench my desires, why would I bother satisfying him? So it has been that way since. He has alot on his mind he says. But that doesnt stop him from looking at porn. He cheated on me last year, and maybe about a month ago when he stayed out till 5 in the morning and didnt answer my call.

When I used my FBI skills to find out who the lady is, called her and he got to find out what I did, he cursed me out all the way, told me she was an option and he would leave her if i just didn't call her. When we fight he'll tell me if i had a "fatter backside, maybe that would help", Just Imagine my husband saying that kind of stuff to me. But then again he always doubles back to say he didn't mean any of what he said and he loves me. I feel like a roommate, invisible and terribly insecure all the time. I'm just going crazy, he used to be so attentive so its hard not to notice so much has changed in this period of our marriage. There are days when all I have to do is wake up to be on his wrong side, I'm greeted with, "you just have to get you a hobby or something, I can't be around you all day. I used to do so much, now I'm just
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com
Story Post: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/i-feel-like-roommate-invisible-and.html

I have been married for just 4 years, blessed with a bouncing baby boy who is just 2 still learning to communicate with words. My husband and I have always had a rocky relationship no doubt. Our marriage is everything except romantic.While courting, we had this off and on kind of relationship that friends stopped taking us seriously because today, we tell them we're no longer together, next week we are seen holding hands. When I complained then my mother used to say not to worry that those type off and on relationships are what really lasts long because we get used to ourselves and become more tolerant. As an Edo girl proper, I'm very controlling, it takes the grace of God for me to submit but I try my best. I can't bring myself to say sorry to any man and that has hurt a lot of people. I'll rather do things to show that I feel sorry for my actions but won't kneel or stand to say "please forgive me am sorry bla bla bla".
Well, I guess my husband knows that alreadyy because that's how I have always been even befor the wedding. We had a fight just two months after our honeymoon, I ran away to parents house but was chased back when he came looking for me. My parents practically bundled my stuff and gave him to put in the car, called me in his presence and asked that I follow my husband home and leave them alone. Well, I wasn't angry, the spark was still there, I slowly and reluctantly followed him home and we settled the matter. We have had very serious arguments that kept me mute, not in talking terms for weeks but secretly I still admired and wanted him.

This last fight was in Janruary, it started over an argument about who drops our boy off and who picks him from school. I work so hard taking care of this boy, I keep sleepless nights when he is down, I am the one that is always with him. I stopped working after delivery and froze one whole year of my life to take care of our son, now he is starting school and I am still expected to drop and pick him off. Did I give birth to him all by myself? Why can't my husband just be there? Is it only about dropping monthly allowances and that's that? He wants us to try for another baby but with what I faced looking after the baby all alone, I had to postpone any pregnancy until I'm sure I can handle two kids.
So, we had a big fight, arguing for hours and throwing back sharp utterances at each other. It's been over a month now, he has pleaded, it seems we made up but in my heart, the spark is completely dead. I don't have any feelings for my husband right now. He travelled for a week and I
Source: www.wivestownhallconnection.com
STORY: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/after-fight-i-dont-feel-spark-anymore.html

Wahala dey even more than we think. I guess Nigerian women rushing to give birth abroad are not aware that some of those countries do not even come among the best 10. Some people fancy all health care debates to be a case of Canadian Health Care vs. American. No,Not so. According to the World Health Organization’s ranking of the world’s health systems, neither Canada nor the USA ranks in the top 25. *Someone says there is no hope for Nigeria but I don't believe it.

Search Below For Our Dear Country:
World Health Organization Ranking; The World’s Health Systems

1 France
2 Italy
3 San Marino
4 Andorra
5 Malta
6 Singapore
7 Spain
8 Oman
9 Austria
10 Japan
11 Norway
12 Portugal
13 Monaco
14 Greece
15 Iceland
16 Luxembourg
17 Netherlands
18 United Kingdom
19 Ireland
20 Switzerland
21 Belgium
22 Colombia
23 Sweden
24 Cyprus
25 Germany
26 Saudi Arabia
27 United Arab Emirates
28 Israel
29 Morocco
30 Canada
31 Finland
32 Australia
33 Chile
34 Denmark
35 Dominica
36 Costa Rica
37 USA
38 Slovenia
39 Cuba
40 Brunei
41 New Zealand
42 Bahrain
43 Croatia
44 Qatar
45 Kuwait
46 Barbados
47 Thailand
48 Czech Republic
49 Malaysia
50 Poland
51 Dominican Republic
52 Tunisia
53 Jamaica
54 Venezuela
55 Albania
56 Seychelles
57 Paraguay
58 South Korea
59 Senegal
60 Philippines
61 Mexico
62 Slovakia
63 Egypt
64 Kazakhstan

65 Uruguay
66 Hungary
67 Trinidad and Tobago
68 Saint Lucia
69 Belize
70 Turkey
71 Nicaragua
72 Belarus
73 Lithuania
74 Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
75 Argentina
76 Sri Lanka
77 Estonia
78 Guatemala
79 Ukraine
80 Solomon Islands
81 Algeria
82 Palau
83 Jordan
84 Mauritius
85 Grenada
86 Antigua and Barbuda
87 Libya
88 Bangladesh
89 Macedonia
90 Bosnia-Herzegovina
91 Lebanon
92 Indonesia
93 Iran
94 Bahamas
95 Panama
96 Fiji
97 Benin
98 Nauru
99 Romania
100 Saint Kitts and Nevis
101 Moldova
102 Bulgaria
103 Iraq
104 Armenia
105 Latvia
106 Yugoslavia
107 Cook Islands
108 Syria
109 Azerbaijan
110 Suriname
111 Ecuador
112 India
113 Cape Verde
114 Georgia
115 El Salvador
116 Tonga
117 Uzbekistan
118 Comoros
119 Samoa
120 Yemen
121 Niue
122 Pakistan
123 Micronesia
124 Bhutan
125 Brazil
126 Bolivia
127 Vanuatu 128 Guyana
129 Peru
130 Russia
131 Honduras
132 Burkina Faso
133 Sao Tome and Principe
134 Sudan
135 Ghana
136 Tuvalu
137 Ivory Coast
138 Haiti
139 Gabon
140 Kenya
141 Marshall Islands
142 Kiribati
143 Burundi
144 China
145 Mongolia
146 Gambia
147 Maldives
148 Papua New Guinea
149 Uganda
150 Nepal
151 Kyrgystan
152 Togo
153 Turkmenistan
154 Tajikistan
155 Zimbabwe
156 Tanzania
157 Djibouti
158 Eritrea
159 Madagascar
160 Vietnam
161 Guinea
162 Mauritania
163 Mali
164 Cameroon
165 Laos
166 Congo
167 North Korea
168 Namibia
169 Botswana
170 Niger
171 Equatorial Guinea
172 Rwanda
173 Afghanistan
174 Cambodia
175 South Africa
176 Guinea-Bissau
177 Swaziland
178 Chad
179 Somalia
180 Ethiopia
181 Angola
182 Zambia
183 Lesotho
184 Mozambique
185 Malawi
186 Liberia
187 Nigeria
188 Democratic Republic of the Congo
189 Central African Republic
190 Myanmar

Source: World Health Organization
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I need help. My husband of 9 years is emotionally abusive, it's a kind of abuse that I don't know how to explain, has never
hit me but his body language when he doesn't approve of my action, it can make anyone feel so worthless. We do not talk about anything, if we manage to talk, it's never about us, it must be just general discussions about the news or someone. I have tried severally to make him realize that we need to also have discussions about "our family" but I don't know, he just doesn't understand or doesn't care. On Saturdays,he spends hours in the room watching movies on the computer. He yells at me and the kids ( 3, 5 and when he speaks and he spends very little time with the children. Whenever they need his attention, he says " I'm very busy can you go tell your mummy what you want"?
I am afraid to even have a brief separation because of financial reasons. I've told him he needs help but he won't believe me. I know he refuses to get help because he is obsessed with money , hates to spend it. He doesn't like to see me spend either. I earn little compared to him but he gets too interested with how I spend my own money. He will yell at me if I buy things for the children's lunchboxes, like he feels they only need food and water, when I add snacks and he sees, his faces changes, he may not react then but a little mistake after that and he goes short tempered and yelling but me I kn ow what he is yelling about at that moment is not the real reason for the outbursts. We can't touch things in the house that he feels are his. I have never heard of a father who places boundaries and refers to things as "mine" instead of "ours' His corner is a no go as he won't say that but his body language spells that and then we all are careful, like walking on egg shells.
I actually hate him sometimes. I feel sad for my kids. He had a bad family life and does not know how to be a father, He never had a father figure in his life as he lost his dad quite early and grew up with mom who never remarried, I guess that is the reason for his being the way that he is. There was no father figure to guide and be his role model growing up, but that I sometimes feel should not be a reason for being cruel and unkind.
I have bought him books on successful parenting, marriage and family life, how to be
SOURCE: www.wivestownhallconnection.com

If I Can't Enjoy My Marriage At This Early Stage; What Happens When My Parts Start Falling Apart (Old age)?

I am a 30yr old mother of one who has been married for almost 3yrs now. My husband is a serial cheat. At the top of my head, he has cheated about 5 times. I have been forgiving, prayerful, patient and tolerant in the past but I think I have gotten to a point I cannot take it anymore. I am a very good looking fashion forward, hygiene conscious
woman. I make sure I give an impressive performance in bed no matter how tired. I even initiate it too. For the life of me I just don't understand what my husband goes looking for elsewhere. In the past when he gets caught, he apologizes and tries to lay low for a while till things are going well then jumps back on the horse. So I realized that he started dating a girl sometime last year. I confronted him about it last month with my box of evidence. Usually he would seem remorseful and what not, but this time around, he is being very defensive and arrogant about it. I know he has fallen in love with her cos I see the messages the send to each other and her pictures on his phone.


Despite that he knows I know, he still goes ahead to date the girl. I have tried to not contact her cos my battle isn't with her. Ever since he started dating her, he hasn't touched me. In the past, he gave me an STD. Took a lot of prayers for me to forgive him and concentrate on building a family cos I was pregnant at that time. Am so hurt that he wouldn't mind throwing away a beautiful family over an affair. I need to teach him a lesson he will never forget. I am tired of being the door mat. Am tired of forgiving and praying and tolerating. It's obvious that it's a lifestyle for him and not a mistake. Any advise will be appreciated.
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/

tpiar:
op how did the food taste?

Tasted Super delicious. Kids asked that some be preserved for them to take to school the next day.

I have just come out of a 3 year relationship that was toxic from beginning to end, I feel completely numb and shocked at the things I have come to find out.


Ok, I'll cut a long story short, when we we met, I thought he was the most charming, funniest man and I was taken by him from the moment we met. He made me feel like the most loved and amazing person and swept me off my feet like one oyibo prince charming on TV or something. Due to my low self esteem issues and my troubled childhood after I lost both parents, I couldn't believe a man could love me this much. He seemed like my soul mate and I instantly felt loved and wanted which was something I never knew.


Fast forward three months later I discovered he had a girlfriend and I was broken in pieces. He pleaded, pretended, spoke nicely, looked sober and stupidly I took him back, only for him to keep dumping me and going back. I felt like I was consumed by him and was scared to lose him well, looking back now, maybe I was brain washed. He eventually decided to be with me and promised he'll take me to meet his Dad because mom is late. The relationship was toxic and I didn't see it then at all, He never took me to occasions such as weddings, naming ceremonies or even birthday parties of friends etc, I barely met any of his friends and it took him 3 years to agree to go on a small holiday at the Obudu ranch resort with me, not that he cannot afford it. He would never even commit to a day at weekend with me , instead opting for friends, golf (The IBB golf course became like his second home), in short,...anything but me.

I felt like I was pleading with him every week to do something with me like take me out or just stay with me, there was always an excuse. He always complained that I was a bore that I didn't like drinking with him, but he never listened to me , he would always make everything about himself and I felt like I had no voice. He would say I didn't trust him and the way I thought and the way my mind worked wasn't right and I couldn't be happy. The only time I saw him was on weekdays after work to come and watch some TV programme of his choice, all my choices were pathetic (his words) He never let me have any say, very controlling but I didn't see it that way. He goes on call but not every time, I know he can leave for work at anytime of day but that doesn't mean he cannot find time for me. He would work shifts and on the morning shifts he would make me get up at 5am to drive home and go back to my place rather then let me stay in his place till I had to go to work. If he is leaving the house early, I would also get dressed and find my way to my house, never gave me a spare key to his apartment.
Every time I stated my unhappiness or confronted him he would give me the Silent treatment for weeks, he 'll wait for me to beg and if I don't, he would always get back in touch and we would start over again but he never changed and the cycle would start again. When he comes back apologizing, one would think he has learnt his lesson and will become a better man but no way. We were on and off multiple times. Gradually I became anxious. Anyway about 3 months ago I found out on one of our breaks he dated someone and now they are a couple, he is lavishing her with gifts and outings and allows her to stay in his house only knowing her a few weeks o. In three years, he never let me stay over for even a weekend. But she is like always there with him. See life? She has met his family, they have booked a holiday to Ghana come Easter. Everything I was fighting for 3 years but never got. Ok, He was still contacting me right up till 3 weeks ago , I was ill and he was offering to come help me . Maybe I am the one who has shown myself no self worth due to
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/

coollabman:
is it paining you?!

It's paining me nor be small. I just hugged a transformer in my street. What? Can I go or you still have free time on your hands? See you in my next food post

coollabman:
you're still defending yourself!

u no sabi cook

Ok, case closed. Are you happy now? You don win. I'm off for a nap you to go and cook dinner. You don't have to follow recipes word for word. What if I cooked a kind of veggie you are allergic to, won't you take it out before cooking? If my sea of maggi is too much, no body will kill you for cooking with one cube. You have my permission to adapt the recipe to your own taste. Am I free to go now?

coollabman:
your defense is watery! seasoning wey you add too much

I bet you have never cooked fried rice darling. I don't even add seasoning to rice and stew, just the stock. For fried rice? You need that seasoning in the vegetables, there is no sweet vegetable in there, they are all tasteless (Vegetables NOT fruits o) especially as there is no beef or chicken stock to cook with. You sweeten or give taste to your veggies with seasoning not sugar. Now I'm convinced you have never cooked fried rice, continue to enjoy your rice and stew.