₦airaland Forum

Yup,She's a blondie.

@ poster.
Lol-laff out loud.
Lmao-laffin my ass off.
Rotflmao-rollin on d floor lmao

Let me be of some assistance.I cannot claim to knw d tots runnin thru d kids minds wen dey gave dis answers to d questions.
1.Seasons but d kid answered seasonings used 4 cooking.Instead of d typical summer,winter,spring and autumn.
2.Wrote flirtation instead of filtration and so was obligated to define flirtatn in his/her own terms.
3.Dew:Was referrin to sweat on d skin.
4.Dt's just a silly ans.
5.Well endowed-means rich.
6.Wen a guy's decision is taken,den it is certain dt they wuld have sex.
7.Steroids-Wrong misconception of d word (stair rods).
8.I have to admit I didn't undastand d joke abt age,bowels and intercontinental.
9.Dt S̶̲̥̅ђU̶̲̥̅̊Ł̶̷͡d̶̲̥̅̊ be easy.
10.Disease nt end result.
11.Artificial inseminatn can only be done to a cow and not a bull.Also means dt d farmer took d rites of d cow and bull to mate and did it wit d bull.
12.Sheer stupidity.Making the cow uncomfortable.
13.Bowels-(vowels:a,e,i,o,u)
14.A fib is a lie and ula signifies small.So fib-ula means a lie dt is small.
15.Varicose-Very close.
16.Condominium:meant to say condom.
17.Was tinkin of Julius caeser.
18.Same as above.
19.At d airport terminal,getting sick is terminal sickness just like getting car sick wen in d car.
20.Be -9,Be -8(brilli-

Ok check this out.

UDEFI IGWE, INNOCENT ONYEMAECHI
5 D, WTC Quarters Ogui New Layout, Enugu.
Tel: 08035013014, 08057251466 E-mail: Talk2jerry2004@yahoo.com

PERSONAL INFORMATION

Date of Birth:
Sex:
Marital Status:
State of Origin:
Local Govt. Area:
Nationality: Nigeria.
Language proficiency: English, Igbo.

OBJECTIVES

How you aim to help the organisation if you are employed.

PERSONAL STATEMENT AND SKILLS

I possess excellent knowledge and skills, blah blah blah
 Keen eye for details.
 Able to work under little or no supervision.
 Ability to respond to rapid changes in working schedules and priorities while operating in a highly motivating and competitive environment.
 Good interpersonal and organisational skills.

INSTITUTIONS ATTENDED WITH DATES
University. Year
Secondary School. Year
Primary School. Year

ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS

 B.Sc
 WAEC/NECO
 First School Leaving Certificate.

PROFESSIONAL QUALIFICATIONS
These could include
CCNA
ORACLE
NIM
ACCA
ICAN etc

SKILLS/ TRAINING AQUIRED

 Proficient use of Microsoft Office Packages and Internet utility.
 Web Design, Animation and Graphics
 Office Application
 Adobe Dreamweaver CS4 and MS Access
---Professional qualifications and Skill/training acquired could be merged together.

HOBBIES

Reading, Reading, Travelling, Playing and watching football matches.

WORK EXPERIENCE

Birniwa Model School,
Jigawa State
(NYSC).
Nigeria.
Job Description
 Subject Teacher.
 Sports Instructor. (That’s becos you claim to like football.)

REFERENCES

It’s always preferable to state out your references especially when just o job search. And cos you’ve not gotten to the level where you are actually allowed, however informal to use _Available on Request. Simply state them.



(An entry level position in your firm as an enthusiastic financial analyst where my expertise in finance would be needed)-This should be in the attached letter.



NB: CV’s should be short and straight to the point. When you are called in, then you can expatiate more.
I hope this will be helpful.

Trouble sleep, yanga go wake am.
Na wetin e dey find, wahala, i dey find.

Check this out,guys.

MIRACLES OF A WOMAN:
1) giving milk without eating grass.
2) getting wet without touching water.
3) bleeding without getting hurt
4) bleeding for 4-5 days without needing blood transfusion
5) having a tenant inside dem for 9months with out being a house.
6) making boneless meat hard/erect without touching it.

Uh oh.
True talk,Jare.

You're so not very serious.

Hey,i've seen this already.Only it was the woman and not the man.

Cool one .

I tire ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

@Rexxie.
You are even lucky.My parents especially my father refused to speak his language to us(MY BROTHER AND I).It's almost like he's ashamed of the Language but he speaks it to his people whenever they come around.Whenever my uncles and aunts come around,we're done for.They'd use the language to insult us,Saying things like----They born you throway,They make serious jests, My dad is Urhobo and my mum is Kwale.
What pains me the most is when I get a call and I don't want those around me to listen in,it's impossible.
When I get married,my husband must speak his dialect to my kids.Infact,if it's possible,they would learn the three indigenous languages in Nigeria.
I used to tell my mum that she's wicked because she didn't speak her language to us.She gets offended because for a whole day I could get her very frustrated with me.

This is good.Actually opens your eyes to things you've been seeing but not really taking note of.

Wow.These are cool.
Did I say cool,so sorry, very very cool.
I just couldn't stop laughing.
There's this one "And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord will clear my browsing history!!!"
So typical.

Odunnu:
Biz man indeed

Uhn, Omo Nna.They would conduct their bizness anywhere & everywhere regardless of the situation.

This is really silly.
Mine is -

Oh!!!!!!!
Oooooooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My!!!!!!!
Myyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gosh,
No corrupt practices please.

Oh dearie.I emphathize with you.The right thing will be for you to tell him about it,if possible should be done in person.
I'm not relegating your plight but it kinds of remind me about the story in Sweet November but with a different ending in sight.And if in the end,nothing or something happens,You can be sure that he would move on but he'll never forget you.

@ @

oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!1

@ poster,that shows that no matter how much you try to obey the law in Nigeria,you will be punished one way or the other.

@ vic2k3. Please what's the meaning of Rotflmao

Really!!!!!!!
Just move on with your life because it is almost certain that he has been messing around with other chicks.For him to even continue making noises about getting married to you means that he does not feel he has done anything wrong. It could even be that his friends could have been warning him about his actions and he would be like, Guys,forget it.I have this chick in my palm.I would just control her and everything would be fine. So just bone him because at the end of the day,you'll find out that the guy would just leave you for the lady who is pregnant especially if he is from the east and the lady in question happens to give birth to a boy.Then you'll have to start all over again and with a shattered heart so just cut your losses and leave him.

Hey guys.Please try not to be too hard on Paddymo.What i just want to say is that one of two things have happened.
The first scenario is that the lady in question has already fallen for someone else while Mr. Paddymo was still trying to get his bearings as such I would advice that he forgets about her.
The second scenario is that the lady is trying to guage his reaction to her message hence her 2nd message that the previous message was not intended for him.If that is the case, Then who was she sending the message to in the first place.She was probably checking out to see his response and in that case i'll have to say that Paddymo should take charge and ask her out demanding an answer,she would almost certainly say, Yesssss
But in the end Love conquers all, So give it a try.

Oh my Gosh.
@first daughter-
@second daughter-
@third daughter-

One thing is to know,another is to keep it quiet.A saying goes that WISDOM IS REMEMBERING WHAT YOU HEARD BUT FORGETTING WHERE AND FROM WHOM YOU HEARD IT.Now i advice you to put this advice into play because you are between a rock and a hard place and any move you make will definitely have a counter-reaction.As such my advice to you will be to get one on the videos or pictures and send it through an anonymous user(phone) to him. If he calls you to tell you of this,then you can broach the subject.I can certainly assure you that people do not like to hear the truth,esp from their friends.
Notwithstanding,do what you think is right,only then would you have peace.