₦airaland Forum

ok

Oh I know all about the diffrent categories of love.
My point is BALANCE dont overdo one.Theres God's love(AGAPE) yes,and we have EROS(Romantic)yes.
But what I meant was,we have TWISTED the romantic love to suit our desires. and thrown it off balance. People love all sorts of weird things and they call it love.
I said read songs of solomon and see how romantic God is too.Its not all prophecy and deliverance.Its about EROS that sweet romatic love btwn man and woman.
And God talks about,butts and bosoms openly and properly

@ frank
I almost deleted that part about love enduring forever cz I knew for sure you would ask me exactly that.I do not dispute at all.You are very very correct.
Love is 'supposed' to endure/last forever.Its supposed to cover a lot of our weaknesses but does that happen? LOL hardly becoz we lost the master guide anyway.
Please understand this.There's various reasons why people stick to marriage/relationships and all those reasons you described are just part of it. Now are you saying that you don't believe that true love is a glue that holds relationships together? That all those those things you described are the solid reason why people tend to stick together?
If so then that is the reasons why people ENDURE miserable relationships cz its all about 'people and the 'society' and not about the 2 of you. When will you say am here in this relationship not cz of the kids or anything external but cz of the love I have for this person? sad
When I say death here it means several things.It means sacrifices etc etc.eg like are u able to donate a kidney to that person when they are staring at death in the face? There's people tht can die for smbody they love.Oh puuuliz again haven't you heard about people that kill themselves for the sake of love? yeah that is crazy but it just shows you what real love can do at times. Have you seen people that just break down and become a wreck when they lose a loved one? Its all cz of this love word.
You say you cant have lust after me without having a 'liking' for me which u call a degree of love.In short you mean 'like' is a degree of love. good
Now you brought another term here calle[b]d 'like'. [/b]
Let me pose a question t u. Can u lust after a skimply dressed woman on tv? I guess yes.
if the answer is yes then I ask do you 'like her'? You may say no cz u really dont know her beyond wht you see.That already contradicts, cz you lust after her but you dont like her. Now how do u call this a 'degree of love'?? how do u love wht you dont really know beyond wht u see?

Lastly that is a good eg you gave in the previous page. And I told u the 3 coexist.They just play different roles hence my reason for using the house as an eg.They all form the house after all. So after your explanation I will again say.They are all buttons of a remote control called 'relationship'.You only need to know which one to press in order to get the required results.And all we want are the results!!
I feel thirsty.

The reason we are all messed up with this word love is coz we have twisted it to conform with our desires and wishes.
God is Love. And he demonstrated it to us.Fullstop. If we can take lessons from the Master mind of love then we shall do it right. Mind you there's nobody as Romantic as God.He just knows how to balance everything.
Just read songs of solomons.
And just knw fear is of the devil so stop doing urself injustice and take what ur feeling to another level.

@frank
you say;
love is the feeling
lust is the desire
Infatuation is the drive

Feelings is too general a term.
You can have lustful feelings, love feelings,or feelings of infatuation but they are all feelings.
Feelings fluctuate and can be seasonal but love endures forever.It stands the test of time.
Okay I understand what u say about stage.When you say love can last 10 days depending on the maturity I tend to slightly disagree.Know why?
I can only confess I love you after I have known the whole you.ie both the physical and non physical you.
If you confess your love for me after 5 days yet you havent fully known me then I prefer to call that 'the drive' which your talking about.cz on the 6th day you may discover something emotional/spiritual about me that may make you look the other way.So the 'feeling ceases'. That feeling I dont call it love cz to me love endures forever and it covers a multitude of sins including that ugly thing I mentioned to you.
Do the 3 work hand in hand? I will say yes. Only thing is that each plays a specific role. Call it the ecosystem of relationships or whatevr! .
At the time you say you are in love,you have the 3 together.( I agree wth you there).Its like a house.
Infatuation drives you to the site, lust makes you desire to build,then love builds and keeps the building standing.

What is love? I keep saying love is death. If you truly love you must be ready to lay down your life for the other person. If not then we are still far.

@potato LOL


hahah.that is really funny.
Am a grannie.nothing really.

its my bedtime now gnite!!
And dont see me anywhere in the 'SPIRIT'!!

^^^
nope shes probably a student at 17 yrs? and so she has every reason to worry about stuff that dont even make sense.Maybe she can concentrate on studies first at this level. I can relate to her and I wasnt psychic! Its just wishful thoughts of a teen.

Now satani ,we are talking about the physical stuff here not spiritual.Now when u start seeing me in the spirit then I start getting worried.
What do we call tht now? spiritual lust??
@ op can u define spiritual lust for me pliz? We have a sample here for testing.

@ op
see example above.That is the 'lust stage' Though I wonder how that is possible yet hes never seen me!!!!
no it cant be lust I think its 'infatuation'.

lol babe

I explained the other way round.
Thank God its nt an exam!

And yes if you are in love, meaning you have passed the lust stage with first class honours then you admire your partner. Or if it suits you, you can say that yeah I lust after my wife . So its all in there a full package ie but if that body gets a disease or injuries then I dont know if you will continue singing the same lusty song.Thts why I say love (soul,spirit,body)endures the test of time and can withstand anything.

^^^
Not even the 2 lets add infatuation into the mix.You said I got it wrong.Well we all get infatuated at one point or another.
I believe infatuation is a state of proper confusion where ur unable to distinguish btw love and lust. Thts why u hear that term often among school kids.
They get infatuated and fall into 'puppy love'which they think is true love yet its not.Its just [b]lust.[/b]True love stands the test of time.
Now I want to eliminate infatuation and focus on love and lust.
The 2 are completley different yet necessary for a relationship.The only diffrence here is that one lasts longer while the other doenst.
When you ask people that have been married for ages wht keeps the flame burning they will say its LOVE not LUST why? becoz they have come to understand thet a human being is not just the body and for a relationship to work and last you need to work and strengthen those other 3 areas I talked about ie body ,soul and spirit.
What I can say is that if you want a durable relationship then go past the LUST STAGE and embrace THE LOVE STAGE which is whole.
Lets just say that lust can be a step in the ladder of love or it may be the poison too,depending on what you really want.

^^^^
by the way everybody can interpret those 3 to suit their minds you know.
Another person may say lust is the same as love. Why becoz he wants to be convinced that what he feels is love nt lust so it all depends on how you want to interpret it. if it suits you fine thts you.
I know where your heading wth this.
1.C,you look at a woman and you get physically attracted to her by her nice body.That we can call lust at that stage.Theres nothing wrong wth that after all beauty is God given. Now if all you succeed in doing is get to lay down wth her then you take off, it still remains lust. Why? cz all you were interested in was the physical body that u got attracted to in the first place. So we can as well say you lusted after her.

2.Now after youv lusted after her and you try to get to know her well ie her emotional being ,her physical being as well as her spiritual being ,then you start growing in love. C, you have gone beyond the physical (lust)and embraced the non-physical.
That to me is what I call wholeness .It includes body,soul and spirit.
So you can see that lust is just a hit and run affair while love is stronger and durable cz there is more to a person than just the physical body.
We are not just bodies walking around mind you.
So to answer you,yes all those matter but it depends on how far you want a relationship to go.If its a hit and run or lasting affair.
cheers

Wow then in that case it seems as though, the more they get to know each other the more they drift apart in ideas,likes etc etc.
Then theres no need to force things. If they are meant 4 each other then things will iron out.
I agree wth babe whn she said supplementary reltnshps work better.( though not all but it removes monotony and boredom).It simply means the other person is adding something different to the relationship to make it whole. You've heard b4 tht like forces repel and unlike forces attract. ie + and+ repel. so when one supplements they bring in something diffrent to make the relationship stronger/exciting/interesting. Think about blending of flavours and the results.
They can continue being friends without specialising ,you just never know when those 2 minds may fuse.

My thoughts

Lust = Takes care of the physical body only
Infatuation = Confusion between love and lust
Love =Takes care of body, soul and spirit

I choose love bcz Love =death (that is what you mean by sacrifice)
Best eg.
a)JC
b)Romeo and Juliet in shakespear

lol
I think both of you have already spelled doom 4 this relationship even before giving it a chance.
She's scared of what she' thinks might happen' yet she hasn't tried it. I dont know but going out is not like getting engaged or marrying.
Its a time to understand the other person well their likes,dislikes etc.
Its only by giving it a try that she will be able to make a final conclusion as to whether they are compatible or not. After all they like each other so you say.
If I was you I would ask her to try it out but not make any commitments till they are sure they can take it to the next level.
She may find him more interesting than she thinks and vice versa.
At times too much fear can lock out some good things.
Good luck

@ op

Just asking how old are you?or whts ur age bracket? This word Romance is heavy.With ur age in mind then it would be easy to break it down for you to digest in bits. We dont want to give a toddler bones to chew or a grown up milk.
If ur in school then theres a time 4 evrything you know.
Maybe you could tell us what you understand then those who are 'experts'can give you tips.Am also learning.
cheers

resend.theres nothing there.

D man
Where is that mail you kp refereng too?
I havent seen any no mail yet.Like I said am not secret agent.
My inbox is empty.

@ satani

Suppose that sweet virgin decides to turn into a witch. will you stick in there and do the 'witchcraft' together? Is that the meaning of for better or for worse?
I think theres some worse that is just 'extreme' but the society/family doesnt care they want you to bear it all.
I now prefer a much more 'flexible vow' after all these things we read and hear about.

@ iice

what I mean is that,theres people that get married and later want to engage in other behaviour which the other partner finds unbecoming and uncomfortable.
Eg the case of tht lady who discovered the husband has turned gay.She wasnt aware she only discovered after saying the vows and a kid later.
Or if somebody decides they want a sex change and you already said the vows. I mean its for better or for worse thet ,means you stick in there and endure all that change. So I ask are you bound by the vows or can you decide ,vow or no vow am not taking this shit without the society condemning you.

who cn tell me wht jamb is?

^^
Advertising no/pins.on fb? men u make me think that theres a 9ija version of fb. 4 real.
well if all i read here is true then this is a virus. Why dont they want to adjust the privacy settings? maybe its deliberate?
I am thinking that their behaviour is a reaction to what the guys in 9ija have reduced them to.
Maybe if guys changed their attitude towards them they will change? Aren't you the ones buying them those BB and making them feel like its the ultimate expression of a guy's love for them?
When you meet a sophisticated lady working and not relying on the guy 4 anything,shes proud.Then you meet the desperados on the streets demanding the berries and you say thy are cheap?
What is the balance? I am lost.
Whatevr

^^ dyt

am lost.
I posted in the wrong section.

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.
Those words were first published in English in the prayer book of 1549, based on earlier Latin texts (the Sarum and York Rituals of the medieval period).  So the origin isn't even biblical.
For those engaged/contemplating marriage.I would really like to know ,

1).Does this traditional vow apply/hold in these days of adultery,prenups,pansexuals,bisexuals,transexuals, and every other intimate?
   cz the moment we utter those words we become captive and find it hard to let go even when things hit rock bottom.The guilt/society is too much.

2).Which would you prefer? to rewrite your own vow that suits both of you or use the above traditional one?

3).How would you like your 'draft vow to read ?? ie if u dont mind



Kindly air your views without insults

^^^^