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Stats: 2,512,384 members, 5,729,365 topics. Date: Wednesday, 15 July 2020 at 06:23 PM
|Politics / The ERECTI0N And The Prostitute. ...no It's Politics Really by utimayor(m): 6:59pm On Apr 02, 2015|
By: Ena Ofugara
Do you know what "Konji" is? Konji is that need for sex that has many a man doing very very funny and unfunny things. That is when you see a grown Alhaji kneel down for a small girl saying "please honey, please. I will drive all my wives for you?" That is when as a man, you can walk in on that small girl slapping your father's bald head and your father is smiling. Konji is a wonderful thing. Konji for sex and Konji for power, little difference.
Konji leads a man to do two things when with a woman, the first is to rape her. By sheer brute force you hit her repeatedly or you bring out a gun and say "open or I shoot you" and indeed what can the woman do? The animal lust is soon sated. This can be said to be a military coup, any military coup like the one in 1983. The people get "okware'd" (do not ask me the meaning of Okware. Ask an Urhobo near you)
The other option is the promises. And Igbo man was so "konji'd that he was telling the girl "when I go purse, I go buy you Aba". But the most interesting one happened to a guy. The konji he was having was a 12 year Konji. He had slept with the prostitute before, but he had come as a group of robbers and the rest robbers did not allow him "brokware" for as long as he wanted. While he was yet inside her, another robber/rapist that shares same initials with IBB grabbed his waist and he the guy also named IBB went ahead and continued the Okware to the exclusion of this my guy. So this time, after twelve years of catcalls to her and her refusal as she counted him amongst those who raped her, this guy got close enough to her through many of his other friends and started promising her very many things. What did he not promise? Told her her present husband was clueless and that the economyof their home will collapse if she does not leave him now and come to him. That all their children will starve.
So that night, a prostitute being a prostitute, she willfully allowed a former rapist get her naked and penetrate her. He was fourth time lucky. But as he penetrated her and was beginning thrust, he started crying. The prostitute asked "why you dey cry?" And he said "Ohhh ohh this is sweet, but I am thinking about where I can find the money to really take care of you and your kids now that you have left your husband. I am not a magician." And the prostitute noticed that all what he was saying was what the husband was already doing or did. The CHANGE promised was evaporating in just his first penetration. He had not even poured in his "ame oma" (ask an Urhobo) and yet he was breaking all the promises saying he was no magician and he needs time. HOW LONG EXACTLY?
But it was too late, she was naked, her legs were already spread and she was being "okware'd" already.
FRIENDLY REMINDERS OF THE PROMISES MADE
1. Lunch For all School Children
2. 5k for all unemployed
3. One more year of payment for Youth Corpers
4. Legalization of homosexuality. To repeal the law prescribing jail terms
5. Building of toll-free 2nd Niger Bridge
6. Ending of Unemployment
7. CRUSHING of Boko Haram and total security (since Boko Haram is already crushed, this should be easy)
8. Cancellation of auto policy and revertion to old rates for used car importation from abroad (I am very interested in this. I need to resume selling cars)
9. A revolution in agriculture.
10. Bringing back of Chibok girls
11. JAILING ALL CORRUPT OFFICIALS
12. Ending corruption.
13. Free education.
14. Stabilization of global oil prices
15. Equating the naira and the dollar. That is, One Naira equals one dollar
16. Scrapping the office of the first lady
17. Developing the Niger Delta
18. Finishing the East West road.
19. Ending light/power failure in 6 months
20 Building refineries and processing all crude locally
21. Reducing fuel price.
22. Making oil sell for100 dollars per barrel.
You cannot go back on these promises now that the "erection has penetrated the prostitute"
|Family / Re: Son-in-law Compelled To Write An Essay By Father-in-law by utimayor(m): 3:54pm On Sep 25, 2013|
children of this days don't get it , they just cant get it . the answer to the riddle is...
stack up empty plain sheets in an envelope and mail to him . if he asks why, tell him words cant quantify the amount of love you have for his daughter ...>>> unto the next thread.
|Politics / Re: Mark To Lead Delegation To Pope Francis Inauguration. by utimayor(m): 9:33am On Mar 18, 2013|
please is Mark a catholic?
|NYSC / Re: A thread for corpers posted to Anambra by utimayor(m): 1:24am On Nov 06, 2012|
Cool Kizzy: Mr. Crazyman, i respect the fact that you are mod here but that also does not include modifying my posts because it corrected your mistake, and you even modified it and failed to correct calling Umunya a local government thereby confusing people. Imagine someone coming to Onitsha park to tell a tout he is going to umunya local government. The rest of the story will be history.
|Health / Man Dies After An Injection by utimayor(m): 2:40pm On Oct 12, 2012|
Barely six months after a man died after receiving injection from a patent medicine dealer in Amangballa area of Afikpo North Local Government Area of Ebonyi State, another man has fallen victim in like manner
The incident which occurred in Ukpa area sent cold shivers down the spines of the people and neighbour. Orient Daily learnt that one Chukwu Ehia slumped and died after receiving an injection from a nurse. He was buried immediately after consultations with the police.
An inside family source told Orient Daily that late Chukwu Ehia had a motorcycle accident on September 2 and was admitted at Afikpo Medical Centre (AMC) the same day.
He was discharged the next day and was going to the hospital every 2 days for dressing the wound he sustained on his leg. But on September 23, Chukwu 40, died after being given injection by a nurse, one Bridget Ewa who works at the hospital. He died, leaving his 7-month pregnant wife 35, and 4 children, the eldest being 9 years.
An inside family source said Nurse Bridget Ewa deceived the man only to kill him the next day. According to the source, Bridget advised the man to allow her treat him privately.
She promised him that she will give him one dose of injection that will heal the wound within one week. But when the idea was raised, his wife did not accept that but when the nurse insisted promising she will not only administer the proper drug, but will equally reduce cost for them, the man accepted defying his wife’s objection.
The source also told our correspondent that on that fateful day, the nurse came to the man’s house and administered the injection on him. Immediately he was injected he became weak and started losing voice with his eyes dimming.
He collapsed thereafter and was rushed to Mater Hospital where doctor confirmed him dead. But members of the family were shocked that the nurse who accompanied them to the hospital disappeared immediately the man was certified dead. And uptill the time of filing this report, nobody had seen her.
The source further told Orient Daily that the incident had provoked serious questions about the type of injection and the motive of the nurse. While some argued that the nurse may have used wrong or expired drug, others who suggested an ulterior motive of the nurse, said she might have had bad feelings about the man.
|Crime / Re: Father Of UNIPORT Student Lynched “for Stealing Phone” Speaks by utimayor(m): 10:11am On Oct 07, 2012|
ok now i want you all to leave God out of this, spare me the 'God knows the best' thing, let the people that did this be fished out and charged for murder... We cant just let this pass and we hope on God to know the best. Those that took pics should submit it to the police for facial identification of the people that participated in the killing, that way before anybody tries to join a mob, they will think twice.
|Politics / Re: Girl Wakes In Mortuary 2 Days After Death by utimayor(m): 11:50am On Sep 03, 2012|
mods no dey see dis kind testimony put for front page, if its insult of a man of God then it will be there before anyone comments.
|Fashion / Re: Rate This Pic. by utimayor(m): 4:20pm On Jul 05, 2012|
|Crime / Re: 12 Yr Katsina Pupil Steals To Remain In School by utimayor(m): 4:03pm On Jul 05, 2012|
the boy was lucky, had it been the judge was an extremist like el-rufia, by now na short sleeve he for carry.
|Celebrities / Re: Gay Chika Nwafor Claims He's Pregnant by utimayor(m): 10:31am On Jul 02, 2012|
wondering how the fluid got to the egg, via the large intestine? or maybe his womb dey for 'Stomach'.
hmm, Miracle in cambodia... God punish satan.
|Adverts / Re: Popcorn Machine For Sale by utimayor(m): 10:25am On Jul 02, 2012|
more details dude.
|Health / Re: Doctor in the House: Free Medical Advice Available by utimayor(m): 10:21am On Jun 17, 2012|
please where do i find a qualified and reputed dermatologist in the Eastern part of Nigeria?
|Romance / Re: Dumped After Blood Covenant And Abortions by utimayor(m): 11:15am On Jun 14, 2012|
ok letz get this straight, this is your own version of the story, i wish he is her to give his own version. How are we sure u didnt push him to do dis? Say by nagging or being stubborn and itz nephews. Atyms women push their man away without even noticing it, i once knew a gurl, someone i luved and wanted to date... Wen d real date began, i ran away one week into the relationship because she complains just about everytin and wants to knw wat u r doing and wen u are doing it, thnk God i wasnt intimate wit her, so der was notin lyk use and dump, i just took a walk.
|Romance / Re: Dumped After Blood Covenant And Abortions by utimayor(m): 11:01am On Jun 14, 2012|
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|Romance / Re: Dumped After Blood Covenant And Abortions by utimayor(m): 10:28am On Jun 14, 2012|
itz quite simple, he condemed u to an oath breakable only by death. Put a bullet in his skull.
|Music/Radio / Re: D’banj & Sarkodie – Come To Me by utimayor(m): 11:05am On Jun 13, 2012|
The thought that i actually downloaded this song makes me sick... I think k-switch's sister caro is a better poo
|Politics / Re: Implement Senate’s Resolution Immortalising Abiola – Tinubu ! by utimayor(m): 9:44am On Jun 13, 2012|
can someone please tell this colonel blimp to shut up.
|TV/Movies / Re: Avatar And Ben-10 Boys by utimayor(m): 5:09pm On Jun 11, 2012|
[size=14pt]Africa Enta-10-ment!!! retards[/size]
|Computers / Re: Please How Do I Network 5 Computers by utimayor(m): 9:51am On Jun 10, 2012|
life_style: young man, I can't be explaining the steps on how to do this here cos its all practical oriented and besides its time consuming. Well ensure that all the computers are in the same work group and also make sure you use a straight through cable. is that clear ?
thanks bro, iv done it.. Thanks for the xplanation anyway... My error is from crripping, i misplaced colours cos i was in a haste.. Wen i relaxed and traced my steps.. I saw d errors and recriped
|Computers / Re: Please How Do I Network 5 Computers by utimayor(m): 9:50am On Jun 10, 2012|
chygoz3: What operating system are the computers running on? What exactly is the problem you are facing? Can the computers ping each other?
|Computers / Please How Do I Network 5 Computers by utimayor(m): 6:15pm On Jun 07, 2012|
i just finished setting up a five computer workgroup, all i need now is how to network them to share files and use the same printer, i have tried what i learnt years ago but it seems not to be working, i am sure maybe missed something. Please can you guyz put me through with detailed steps to network the computers and the printer aswell.
Note: it is just a local network (if that is the right term) it doesnt connect to the internet.
|Education / Re: UNILAG/MAU Students Drag FG To Court Over Name change by utimayor(m): 12:26am On Jun 05, 2012|
silly kids, u met unilag and u'l still pass tru unilag, ur intrests should be on acquiring knowledge and not on the name, if u dont lyk it then change school.
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