₦airaland Forum

Five Steps to Overcoming Suicidal Thoughts

Learning how to survive the worst of depression.

Suicidal thoughts can be very difficult to deal with or understand. Sometimes they can be fleeting, but other times they can be stronger urges or fantasies that promise relief from seemingly unbearable pain. Fortunately, there are ways to overcome suicidal thoughts that can move you away from hurting yourself and towards recovery.

Though you may think you will never act on them, all suicidal thoughts need to be taken seriously.

Here are some tips to overcome thoughts about ending your life.
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/five-steps-to-overcoming-suicidal-thoughts/

6 Ways to Be a Positive Influence on Your Child

Every parent wonders, sooner or later, if what they taught their kids actually stuck with them in a meaningful way. Susan and I met a young lady recently at a wedding. She is in her 20s and shared with us a discussion that she had with her mom. During that talk, her mom asked her, “What do you think are the most important values we taught you growing up and are they still important to you?”What her mom really wanted to know was whether it stuck. Was her daughter now embracing all of those things their family holds so dear…all those things she spent teaching her daughter. And maybe she wanted some kind of confirmation that she, as a parent, did her job well.

It got me thinking. What are we responsible for as parents? How responsible are we for the “sticking” part? It’s a tough question to answer. Let’s, at least, start exploring this question with an analogy to gardening. When my kids were young, we planted gardens with green beans, corn, carrots, and tomato seeds. They all turned out pretty much with the exception of the corn.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/6-ways-to-be-a-positive-influence-on-your-child/

6 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Confrontation

As a therapist, it’s clear to me that a fear of confrontation is at the root of many people’s distress. Workplace issues, relationship troubles, and interpersonal problems could likely be resolved if only people were able to address their concerns in an open and direct manner.

People who avoid confrontation often make excuses for their behavior, such as “I’m a peacemaker,” or “I don’t want to ruffle any feathers.” Whether it’s an annoying co-worker who leaves coffee cups all over the office, or a mother-in-law who makes inappropriate jokes, fear of confrontation often outweighs an individual’s desire to address an issue head-on. Consequently, the problem never gets resolved and the distressed individual continues to suffer (and stew).

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/6-ways-to-overcome-the-fear-of-confrontation/

10 Tips to Make Reading Fun for Your Child

Did you know that simply reading to your child is one of the best things you can do for his or her education? It’s much more valuable than just as a bedtime sleep inducer! Reading aloud to children does the following:

Helps them hear language in new and different ways.
Gives them a sense of story.
Leads to better performance in reading, writing, listening, and other school subjects, according to researchers.
Creates a bond between the reader and the child, facilitating a special memory association between reading and a happy experience.
Turns many children into life-long readers. And a life-long reader is a life-long learner!

10 tips to get the most out of your reading time
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/10-tips-to-make-reading-fun-for-your-child/

Three Things Talent Can’t Do For You

Gary Inrig tells an interesting story about Bertoldo de Giovanni. Giovanni is a name even the most enthusiastic lover of art is unlikely to recognize. He was the pupil of Donatello, the greatest sculptor of his time, and he was the teacher of Michelangelo, the greatest sculptor of all time. Michelangelo was only 14 years old when he came to Bertoldo, but it was already obvious that he was enormously gifted. Bertoldo was wise enough to realize that gifted people are often tempted to coast rather than to grow, and therefore he kept trying to pressure his young prodigy to work seriously at his art.

One day he came into the studio to find Michelangelo toying with a piece of sculpture far beneath his abilities. Bertoldo grabbed a hammer, stomped across the room, and smashed the work into tiny pieces, shouting this unforgettable message, “Michelangelo, talent is cheap; dedication is costly!”

When it comes to the recruitment of the best and brightest in most organizations the safe bet is to always go with the most talented. For example, you don’t see the top law firms competing for the bottom ten graduating students from law school; instead they go after those graduating at the top of their class.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/three-things-talent-cant-do-for-you/

How Men Handle Stress Differently

If you’ve ever been frustrated with the way the opposite sex reacts to a problem you have shared with them, it helps to know there are innate differences in the way men and women handle stress differently.

Stress then, stress now

To understand these differences, we have to first examine the initial purpose of stress. Whatever benefit stress may once have offered has mostly disappeared. Primitive man relied on his body’s system to gear up for flight or fight. When he was threatened, his adrenal system started pumping furiously, and he used every bit of the magical substance to save his hide.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/how-men-handle-stress-differently/

Dangerous Lies that Lead to Infidelity

When I was in college, I spent a summer working in a lock shop. My supervisor was an old, stocky African American man named Rock with a raspy voice. He was a hardworking man who had a nickname for everyone and was a great storyteller. One of my favorite stories he told was about a day he was asked to collect screws in the warehouse.

Apparently, the company was trying to save money and time for an in-house building project requiring screws. Rock’s manager brought him into the warehouse and pointed to the high steel shelves. Then he asked Rock to remove all of the screws fastening the shelves to the walls. Rock diligently got out a ladder and went to work, moving right to left. With each screw removed, the shelves stood in place. Finally, he ascended the ladder and removed the final screw on the last shelf. As he looked at the final screw in his hand, the last shelf leaned and crashed into the one next to it. The rest went down like thundering dominoes discarding all of the contents in an enormously mangled mess. The manager came running in to find a pile of destruction. Behind the debris was Rock standing sheepishly on a ladder holding one screw in his hand. They stared at each other until Rock broke the silence, “This is your fault.”

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/dangerous-lies-that-lead-to-infidelity/

THE SEVEN “NOTs” OF MEN THAT CAN STRENGHTEN YOUR MARRIAGE

Looking at the make-up of every society, marriage is an institution by God that cuts across all climes whether ancient or modern. It has been ordained by God for a man to leave his parents and cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh. The practice is different from one society to the other as traditions have taken over most of the prerequisite and grounds that must be fulfilled before entering into marriage. No matter the practice in any society, we must look at the Biblical roles of a man to make their marriage heaven on earth. This draws us to these tips;

The 7 ’nots’ of man that can make your marriage work

You must not correct your wife in public: one of the habits of a man in marriage that can make that marriage thrive is the ability of the man to adopt a private correction model. The man has been given the authority by God to be the head of the family, as such, such privilege must not be abused. Women often see it as an abuse when corrected publicly by their husbands. Private rebukes make her trust and respect you as a man. It shows the kind of maturity they look for in a man.
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/the-seven-nots-of-men-that-can-strenghten-your-marriage/

BE A MODEL FOR YOUR CHILDREN

A model is an example worthy of emulation.More often than not, we have heard children use this common language “this is what my father does”, and this what my “father says”. The first influence of any child are the parents. I really want to talk to the male folks as the head of the family. There are so many behaviours we see in children today that we consider as immoral or bad. Some of these things are behaviours copied from home, which later become public deficiencies. A father must realise that he plays a pivotal role in shaping who his children become as adults.

TIPS ON HOW TO BE A MODEL AS A FATHER TO YOUR CHILDREN,

There are few tips on what a father can do to help shape the destiny of his children.

A father must be full of kind words
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/be-a-model-for-your-children/

Team Building Activities for the Workplace

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to hold team building events in your workplace, and they don’t have to be ostentatious or complicated. You just want to create structured opportunities for employees to mingle. You can offer a team building lunch, a team building meeting, or a team building trip.

You can schedule activities in the workplace or in your local community for your employees. It can be as simple as getting everyone together in a room.
Lunch Discussion and Team Building Groups

Provide lunch for the whole company or for a department or work team. Assign employees to various workgroups of up to 10 people to discuss and respond to work-related questions.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/team-building-activities-for-the-workplace/

7 Ways to Make Your Office a Sanctuary

After a busy workday, there’s nothing better than to come home to your comfortable surroundings, including a happy family and your cherished treasures. If you’re like most people, however, you probably spend more waking time in your office than you do at home. Imagine if you could look forward to the comforts of your office like you do the comforts of your home. It’s possible. With a few simple tweaks, you can create an appealing space for yourself.

Here are seven tips to make your office a more peaceful and inviting place to work.
1. Live clean and clutter-free.

Clutter and dirt can create distractions, or white noise, and can take your mind away from the task at hand. Clear surfaces, walls and floors of extraneous items. Only display what you consciously choose. Clean up your space every evening so that you return to a pleasant office each morning.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/7-ways-to-make-your-office-a-sanctuary/

6 Strategies for Building the Relationships You Need to Succeed in Business

Unfortunately, people who are great at inventing things, and have high creativity, often don’t have strong interpersonal skills or interests.

As a mentor to aspiring entrepreneurs, I see a high level of frustration from people in this category who have personally developed great solutions, but can’t make them into a business. They don’t realize that running a business requires relationships.

I strongly believe the talent to effectively build relationships can be learned, just like any other skill, even if you are an introvert like me. It does take effort and focus, just like learning other skills that you need to achieve objectives you have set.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/6-strategies-for-building-the-relationships-you-need-to-succeed-in-business/

Tips for managing your family finances

Below are 4 tips for managing your family finances that can help you reduce some financial stress in the long run. They’re simple, but sometimes applying the simplest changes to your lifestyle can make a large and positive difference to your financial situation.
1. Spend less than you earn.

At the risk of sounding like Captain Obvious, to get ahead financially you must spend less than you earn.

With the advent of credit cards, lines of credit and interest-free store loans, it’s never been easier to spend money that you haven’t yet earned. That’s why I’m a fan of the old lay-by system that is virtually obsolete these days. It seems like something from the dark ages; you put down a deposit on an item, pay off installments until it’s fully paid and then take home your goods. One tell-tale sign that you are spending more than you earn is that you’re not able to pay your credit card in full at the end of the month. Or, even worse, if you have to redraw money from the mortgage to cover monthly bills.
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/tips-for-managing-your-family-finances/

How to Make More Time for Yourself, in 3 Simple Steps

Prioritizing time to do the things for yourself will not only make you happy and keep you sane, but it will probably also make you more efficient when tackling the less fun aspects of your schedule and to-do lists. We talked to some experts to break down how you can wade through the chaos and carve out some much-needed me-time.
1. Step Back (For a Second)

Figure out why you want more free time. “You can’t win a game you haven’t defined,” says David Allen, a productivity expert and the author of best-seller Getting Things Done (Penguin Books, $11, amazon.com)this link opens in a new tab. You’ll be more motivated to change if you have a specific goal.

Make a wish list. Write down all the activities that you long to do more of―whether they’re things that make you happy, relaxed, sane(r), or all three. Rank the items in order of importance to you, then pick one or two to focus on. (Once you get the hang of this system, you can address the rest.)

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/how-to-make-more-time-for-yourself-in-3-simple-steps/

6 Ways to Teach Your Kids How to Resolve Conflict

In our 15 years of marriage, my wife and I have worked hard to communicate and resolve conflict well. We’ve learned the importance of good communication, and why we need to make sure we don’t allow unresolved conflict to become an obstacle in our marriage. We’ve also learned to apply the same conflict resolution principles in parenting as we raise our four boys. As you know, children provide many opportunities to resolve conflict with their siblings as well as with us as parents.

For example, in the past 24 hours, I can give you several examples of when we’ve had to coach our boys in how to resolve conflicts. What do you do when one calls the other an “idiot?” Or, how do you handle it when your 12-year-old throws his paddle down on the ground because he can’t beat his old man in ping-pong? And maybe the one that frustrates me the most: What do you do when your children disrespect your wife? The number one rule in our house is, “Thou shalt respect thy Momma!”

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/6-ways-to-teach-your-kids-how-to-resolve-conflict/

3 Ways Daughters Love to Connect with Their Dads

Daughters naturally crave connection with their fathers, and they especially cherish emotional and physical affection from their fathers. In fact, according to Meg Meeker’s research, when girls and dads have a stronger connection, daughters do better in life on a number of different levels.

In her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Meg Meeker states, “Fathers inevitably change the course of their daughters’ lives – and can even save them. From the moment you set eyes on her wet-from-the-womb body until she leaves your home, the clock starts ticking. It’s the clock that times your hours with her, your opportunities to influence her, to shape her character.” So if you have a daughter, here are three ways that girls generally love to spend time connecting with their dads, and ways that dads can easily influence their daughters.
1. Quality Time

It has been said that “In the mind of a child LOVE is a four letter word spelled TIME.” If you want to show your kids that you love them, spend time with them.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/3-ways-daughters-love-to-connect-with-their-dads/

How Setting Small Daily Goals Makes You Achieve Big Success

Successful people “think” success all the time. That is why their goals are firmly lodged in their subconscious.

While most believe that having a long-term goal is crucial to success, successful people understand that without small, daily goals, you will get demotivated easily; success will in turn become hard.

In this article, we will look into the importance of setting daily goals and how to having daily goals that help you achieve success.
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/how-setting-small-daily-goals-makes-you-achieve-big-success/

When and How to Say No to Kids

“Please can I? Can I? Huh? Can I? Can I? Puh-leeeze?!”
“You never let me do anything! It’s not fair! You only do things for my sister!”
“Everybody else gets to do it. Why are you always so mean?”


Setting limits with kids can be challenging. They may beg, bargain, cry, accuse, or demand relentlessly in ways that are wearing for parents. Some parents may give in just to avoid a battle. Others feel guilty for disappointing their children. Still others find themselves saying no at the top of their lungs.


Saying no is an important responsibility for parents. Our nos teach kids important lessons about life and getting along.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/when-and-how-to-say-no-to-kids/

20 Subtle Signs You’re in a Bad Marriage and Don’t Know It

The signs of a healthy, loving relationship are all too obvious: you can’t keep your hands off of each other, every joke sends you into a fit of laughter, and there’s nothing you want to do more than spend time with one another. However, when a relationship starts to go south, the signs of its collapse are far more insidious.

“When warning signs first appear, we may try to rationalize them as normal—after all, no relationship is perfect. And it is very hard to admit to something as important as one’s marriage showing signs of trouble,” says Dr. Inna Khazan, Ph.D. “And while it is absolutely true that no relationship is perfect, it is important to distinguish between imperfections we are willing to live with and those we are not. Once problems we are not willing to live with start to snowball, it may become particularly difficult to address them.”

If you’re concerned that your relationship might be in trouble, read on to discover these 20 signs you’re in an unhealthy marriage. And when you want to make your relationship happier and healthier in the long run, discover the 50 Best Marriage Tips of All Time.
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/20-subtle-signs-youre-in-a-bad-marriage-and-dont-know-it/

6 Simple Ways to Build Your Confidence

Confidence is vital in business. Henry Ford said it best, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right.” This article explains 6 simple tips to boost your confidence and help you achieve your goals

Self-confidence gives you the courage to take sensible risks and to pursue stretching targets. Exactly what is required to build and grow a business. It also makes building and managing teams simpler as a confident approach naturally inspires confidence in others.

Everyone struggles with self-confidence at some point, even people who are naturally blessed

with plenty of it. So if you are struggling with your confidence remember that you are not unusual.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/6-simple-ways-to-build-your-confidence/

5 Ways Mentally Strong People Deal With Rejection

Ever notice how being turned down stops some people from trying again, while others bounce back from rejection stronger than before? Everyone experiences the sting of rejection, but mentally strong people use that pain to grow stronger and become better.

Whether you were excluded from a social engagement, or you were passed up for a promotion, rejection hurts. The way you choose to respond to rejection, however, could determine the entire course of your future.

Here are five ways mentally strong people overcome rejection:
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/5-ways-mentally-strong-people-deal-with-rejection/

What Your Son Needs to Learn to Become a Good Man

A man’s primary role is to provide for, protect, and be in relationship with his family. That role requires a man to develop character. But you may have been involved with men who did not live up to their primary roles, and consequently your son may not have had an ideal role model. So here’s my list (compiled with help from single moms) detailing many of the qualities that make a good man. Instill these qualities in your boy to help him become a good man.
Perseverance

Greatness is born by perseverance in the face of adversity. Few things worth doing are ever easy.

Boys must learn to persevere in the face of adversity now if they are to succeed later during even tougher seasons of life. Perseverance is probably one of the toughest things for moms to teach their boys. It requires them to resist the urge to rescue their sons when they are struggling.
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/what-your-son-needs-to-learn-to-become-a-good-man/

5 Places To Get Ideas For Starting Your Next Business

You want to start a business. Awesome. So does 65% of the 20-something crowd. The fact that you’re on this website, reading this article, means that the odds are pretty high that you’re interested in starting a business.

Just one small thing. You need an idea.

Ideas are where businesses germinate. If you can come up with the idea, the business building part will follow.

Where do you get an idea? Here are five ways that you can come up with an idea for starting your next business.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/5-places-to-get-ideas-for-starting-your-next-business/

3 Reasons Married Sex is Better

As I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to talk radio. The radio host had two lawyers on giving advice to the callers. A married woman called in having recently been in a car accident. The fault of the collision was clearly the other driver and she was experiencing a lot of back pain as a result. The decision from there seems pretty clear – make the claim with the insurance company and inform them of the medical component.

The problem is that in this situation she was not driving the car. The man she was having an affair with was behind the wheel. Incidentally, he was also experiencing back pain that needed medical treatment. Her fear was that as the case got more intense she would be unable to hide her infidelity from her husband. As the sad interview continued, the radio host asked her if better sex was the reason she had strayed from her husband. Her answer, “Well, there’s nothing better than new and exciting.”

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/3-reasons-married-sex-is-better/

How to Overcome the Death of a Loved One

Losing a loved one can be a highly charged and very traumatic time. Though coping with loss can be a deeply personal experience, there are a few basic and universal steps to the bereavement and grief process. Knowing these steps can help you to work through your grief over the loss of a loved one.
Step 1: Allow the feelings

Coping with the loss of a loved one brings up almost every emotion imaginable. There are times when more than one emotion seems to take hold at once, and you may feel as if you’re “going crazy.” It’s natural to feel this way, as it’s normal to experience a number of different feelings.
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/how-to-overcome-the-death-of-a-loved-one/

How to React when Your Wife is Having an Affair

You may have suspected. After all, she has seemed somewhat distant for a while. But you never thought it would happen to you. The moment the undeniable evidence was confronted, it was like being hit by a truck. She’s having an affair. Whether it is an emotional or physical affair, the betrayal is just as deep.

How can so many emotions hit all at once? They flood in and out—anger, sadness, hopelessness, confusion, embarrassment, betrayal, and rejection. The truth is earth shattering. The world that you know has been broken by an utter breach of trust by the person that should have honored it the most.

If you have or are experiencing this now, I am sorry. You may be asking yourself these questions: What happened? Is my marriage over? Can it be saved? Do I even want to save it? There are so many things to confront, but the main question is, what now?

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/how-to-react-when-your-wife-is-having-an-affair/

12 Ways To Eliminate Stress At Work

The average business professional has 30 to 100 projects on their plate. Modern workers are interrupted seven times an hour and distracted up to 2.1 hours a day. And four out of 10 people working at large companies are experiencing a major corporate restructuring, and therefore facing uncertainly about their futures. This may be why more than 40% of adults say they lie awake at night plagued by the stressful events of the day.

“People are asking me for answers,” says Sharon Melnick, Ph.D., a business psychologist and author of just released Success Under Stress. “Everyone feels overwhelmed and overly busy.”

Is there a way to maintain steady focus throughout the day? Is it possible to do everything that needs to get done and still have energy left over after work? How do you keep cool under so many demands? Informed by 10 years of Harvard research and field-tested by more than 6,000 clients and trainees, Melnick offers the following strategies to take your work stress down a peg, before it takes over your life.
Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/12-ways-to-eliminate-stress-at-work/

5 habits of financially successful small business owners

We are bombarded every day by the lives successful people lead through the media – where do they live, what car do they drive, when do they wake up, what do they eat, etc. But what do we know about the habits that have made them into successful financially successful entrepreneurs? If you’re trying to develop your business into a successful one you know that it’s a tough road to take. It requires a lot of knowledge, drive, and dedication in order to manage your money right and achieve financial security and independence. Of course, it is possible, but it would be much easier with some insight from the people who already achieved that. That’s why Dean Willcocks Advisory have put together a list of financial habits that have taken them to success.
Networking – buy something that’s not there yet

We don’t need to talk about the importance of spreading the network for any business, everybody knows that. But what a lot of people lack in understanding is that, going to business retreats and cocktail parties is not enough to build a strong network.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/5-habits-of-financially-successful-small-business-owners/

7 Steps To Build Your Annual Plan Like A Pro

It is the time of year again when we start thinking about the year… The plans, programs, and activities that will allow us to meet and exceed our 2019 goals.

We like to approach nearly any type of planning as if it were a road trip. Like a road trip, you need to figure out:

Where you are,
Where you want to go, and
What you need to get there.

We’ll break it down into these bite-sized chunks:

Read more at;https://valourdigest.com/7-steps-to-build-your-annual-plan-like-a-pro/

Keeping fit at any age: 6 of the best exercises to do in your 50s, 60s and 70s

Different exercises suit different age groups, so what types of fitness should you engage in, depending on how old you are?

According to the 2012 Health Survey for England, just 18% of men and 19% of women aged 55-64 manage to fit in the recommended amount of regular aerobic and muscle-strengthening exercise for their age group.

For those aged 65-74, those percentages drop to 17% (men) and 13% (women), figures that fall even further – to 10% and 2% respectively – in those aged 75-85.

While that may be due to health factors, it wouldn’t hurt to know which exercises are best suited to your age bracket…
1. Get started

“It is vitally important for people in their 50s and above to remain active,” says body transformation coach, author and fitness writer, Martin Hutton.

Read more at; https://valourdigest.com/keeping-fit-at-any-age-6-of-the-best-exercises-to-do-in-your-50s-60s-and-70s/