₦airaland Forum

Bible, King James. Genesis, from The holy Bible, King James version
Genesis 2

24: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.


How can somebody become "one flesh" with more then one person?
How should a sister wife be loved?

The western culture just condemning is too simple.
Please can does anybody never have see a “happy polygamies marriage” in his/her life, where the wife(s) truly where in loved each other with all their heard. ?

MMMMMM

Mens, eeeeeyyyyy

Their are two things I have noticed:

1. Men and Woman tend to sleep around, if they are unhappy in their relationship, if one or more of their needs is not meet by their partner

2. If husband and wife do not leave together in the same country/town/home ect.

Pro_Live OR pro Family Planning

Why she slepped with him in the first place?
Why she did not use contraception?

Why he slepped with her?

The roman catholic tradition is very similar to the Yoruba tradition.
In each town, in the towns church be have a Saints, who is the guardian of the town.
We do processions according the church calendar.
We do our carnival with masks and dance.
Our Saints have spacial powers.
Even in my tradion, our children's name can have a powerfull meaning.
I am from a caltic - roman catholic back ground.
My husband is Yoruba.
When we meet he was very surprised to discover, I did understand his way of living so well.

However it is not easy for a men to be the only provider of the family and feed you, your baby, his brother, pay the bills and the house rent. That putt's a lot of pressure on him!

Talk to him!

I would like to suggested, make sure you and the baby look healthy, clean and attired (nice), when he homes home from work. If you are at home make sure the food is ready for him!

His brother however should give you, a hand, if he is not working with washing the dishes, cleaning, child care (no nappy changing or taking shower for the baby) etc. or should get a job!

Working as a child minder is not so bad! If you do not like to take care of other people's babies, you could bring and pick up children to/from school, take care of them for two hours in the morning and in the afternoon.

It does not matter, from which family you came! Now you have your own! And you have to mange your life! Please, do not be a princess, be a grown up woman, which is the good wife, partner, mother and the heart and soul of her OWN household.

- Do not stop working or studying for to long, if you have children.
- Have the number of children you can manage.
- Race your children to be responsible adults.
- Let them know, you invested in them to be somebody in live. Therefore the have to support you in your old days.
- Train your daughter in law well and even your grand children.
- Support your husband to build his own house, if this is done try to get a second property for your children or for yourself.
- Let your husband know, behind every successful men, is a very strong woman.
- Do not fall into the girlfriend trap, if he has an affair tell him to end it, if you find out or deal with the other lady in a way, she will be wondering, what hit her! Do not jealousy be your advisor. Stay cool and cram. And let her know you have the upper hand.
- Work hard
- Pray to god!
- Take pride in yourself and in your appearances.
- Look at your mother and your grandmother for advice, they have done it before you. Listing and Learn.
- Keep his and your own family at a distance, support if necessary, but only if you have the power and the capital to do so! 
- Choose your own friends wisely!
- And do not revel all your secrets to the world.
- Be not a gossiper
- Might your own business.
- Respect your husband likes he was your business partner.
- Live Insurance
- Shares
- Saving
- if possible not all in one country
- Euro, Dollar, Nira or Sterling.
- be smart, be strong, never give up!

Husband and Wife provide together for the family.
All in their role, in their way. No one is less, no one is more!

- In a good relationship you should disclose the cost of living, your income and your plans for live. If my husband, does not inform me, what he has, how can I support him, race the kids well and be a good wife for him?

- What a men should hold information back about his income or his wealths. It will not benefit him or you in the long run. It just does not make business sens.

STUDIED FOUL, just an other Babay Mama with no Baba leaving on Benefits and we (the british taxpayer) have to pay for her housing, her food and her cloths and even if she can up hold her job, we have to pay for her child care via Working Tax and Child Tax Credit!
Wait and See, the Conversative Party will sure you pepper! And I am not sorry for you! Only for you child!

IS THIS POSTING FOR REAL OR JUST A MEN TOSSING ABOUT.

I CAN NOT BELEAVE IT!

meet one, got married when i was 18, still happy with him, 18 years together

By nature man is polygamous. REALLY

If there is no progress in a relationship, why continue it?
If there is no love, why take it?
If there is no hope, why work on it?

Every woman have a right to be loved! And why should she manage? Manage for what?

tradionaly, football lover! and he loves his craft

Big Daddy love fried yam and mummy does not know what she should make with it.
Can you help out?

What is this county called again Federal republic of Nigeria?

Tradition?
Happiness?
Special Occasion?
Horner the Ancestors?

LOL, marry from the same village and you still have this problem!
Simply present yourself and you are free.

Why men like to call each other Home (Home boy) or moxx fuxx or what ever.
If a bixxtch call an other bixxtch. Why is it your problem?

All is a very bad mix out of american preaching, misinterpretation of the bible, african traditions and believes and the unwillings to accpet Europe is not place everybody is a dotcor or a lawyer, drives a nice car and owns a big house.

What happend to the rich Yoruba tradition along the way and why everybody is just chopping money

I am sorry to say - some White Garment Churches and some Power Healing, Power Praying, Fire Mountain and Delivery Churches.

WHO is there? woman/man, who kicked there husband/wife away, who have children from different men/woman,  woman and men, who sleeped with someboby, whenwas or still is married, and people, who have done business not in a good manner.

They are looking for an easy way out, to pay there way out and the so called pastors are just hustlers.


The british goverment should speak out. What is with the African people themself?

Why not meet up, to go to this kind of churches and tell the so called pastor what you think about him!

Donation - The donation for the pastor is not the problem. He got to eat, too.
And should have a decent standart of living. The problem is everyboby can call himself pastor, prophets ect,  and set up a church, without any training and anyone for supervision. The is not right. Even Jesus had to report to god!

Yes, OH - London, England !!!
Where Africans are you can see this kind of church on every corner!

Surprised!

And this does not only happen in african churches!

It happens in the USA, Western Europe and every where around the globe.
White people are doing it, Black people are doing it.
And even yellow and red people.

The only witch is in your own wrong doing!

And no ju-ju can do to you, what you do not choose to do first.
It is in your own heart to do evil.

And pastor or no pastor, it is the blood of the lamb, which makes you truly free.

Who is bring the babies home, the girls or the womans. Right?
What is gods statement on sex and having a relationship before marriage?
Is the girl/woman still in education?
How seriousness is the girl/woman with her studies?
How old is the boy friend? Is he planning to go abroad?
What does his family have to say to all this?

She got herself a boy friend from the same church?
Sorry, do you shxxxt where you eat?

Well, what would i do if my son got himself a girlfriend?

Well, i mate my partner, when i was sweet 16 and he was 21 AND yes, he went to the same church as my step father and my step father best friend was the best mate of my husband oldest brother.

I would sit him down and let him know, what is thing about sex before marriage. It is not the best! and he should make at lest sure, he care for the girl and do not use her for his own needs or to make cool for his mates.

Than i would ask him to bring her home and i would talk to her, why she is interessed in my son?

And i would ask her to bring her mother around to my house.

I would tell the girl and her mother, i do not wish to see a big tummy !!! before she does not finish her education and have worked for 2 to 3 years !!!

I personaly would remind the girl to take her family planning medican and i would buy condoms for my son!

I would never let them have intimacy outside the house and after a wail i would ask my son and her get engaged.

If the girl is good for my son, i would welcome her as my daughter in to my house.

She even could stay over night and sit on my breakfast table.

Of course i would have a good word with the pastor and her family !!!

And she should not take me for fool, i would monitor my boy and her very well!

honeric01 (m) Thank you.
Most of the places where know to my husband.

A dream is just something what does not have become realiy.
It will deal with it, if ever my husband have the wish to the family.

I did not like the behind the back thingy and i stated this!
On the other hand i would not have a problem with the DNA test as such!
I am not ignorant, i am just realisic and told them to get it over with.
If he starts to hate her or the child, he might get brutal with them or just make a runner.
The test is the smallest evil.

What is the big deal about the DNA test?

I am a mother, too and if my partner would ask me for something like this, I would NOT have a problem with it, if I do not sleep around.
The behind the back thing is worring me! Why you do not ask the mother and both of you go to the G.P together and get it done.

This is not big deal! And people should not start to talk about trust ect. It is better in live, if mother and father are sure of it.
If there is a doubt, this doubt might poison relationship and the Baba will start to hate the child and the mother. It is far worster.

What is hard about it? Mutter do not be so greedly!
If Baba made a good choice, i would not might one or two of us at home.
Less cooking, less cleaning, less taking care of everything for me.
Of course he must provide very well for me and specially for my kids.

And all of us woman must do something usefull for the success of the family.
Going to work in an office, running your own business success and very smart or beeing the one, who teach or take care of all our children.
Being lazy or making Big Madam, who only goes shopping, drive a new car and make mouth, i will kick you out and i do not care, if you have a child for us or not! A woman must earn and maintain her space within the family.

And baba must be smart, too. He must service and provide for every one.

Two million around 8.000 Pfound Sterling, not bad!
Well planned!
Happy wedding and a long married.

I was about to take the Okada in my housband hometown wail visting last.
It even was owned and driven by one of my husband relatives.
Guss what happend my husband nearly kick me of it and my good mother in-law shouted with me badly, if i would like to get myself killed! Unfortunately my husband would not allow to go out alone with our car and the driver or the in-lows, which are based at Lagos driving me around. He is so afraid something might happen to me, bec. the road are so raff and the drivers, too. He insist to be my personal driver. And it even took me good three year, before he let me drive in London. Well, i should not complain, he seems to realy care about me!

Okada - i saw three people and a big goat, which where alive onces on a Okada and took a picture, so this people belief me.

As a good nigerian my husband have a house and we have planty of family and friends we could stay with, this is not my issue here. We have been in Nigeria, before. And i am just tired to do the same things and seeing the same people holiday in and holiday out. I am just looking for ways to see more of the beautiful country and to become a bit more independent from the beloved in-laws. It fact, i am asking myself now is this possible? Just to take our trusty and well maintained off road car and make a road trip in the yoruba land. Or even take a train and make a train journey. A German girl told me she has lived in Nigeria for six months and just have seen two train tracks, wail where there and never a moving train on it.

Regarding accommodation i am not so fussy! bush toilet, bush meat, native wearing and village visted, i have done it all and survive it. We even ate on the road side ect. Only with water i am carefull !

To google something is one thing, to hear from someboby who was staying in a hotel or commend is an other . . .

I am not looking for the perfect europain style hotel - looking for something clean, friendly and african, if i might say so, would not expect an Continental breakfast, looking more for a Bed & Breakfast place.