₦airaland Forum

chei:
I dont have a mother and a wife.

awww. Sorry dear(about de mother part.)

ALMOST EVERYTIME ON NAIRALAND U'LL SEE ONE FIGHT OR THE OTHER ESPECIALLY ON THIS ISSUE, BEING A VIRGIN/NON VIRGIN DOES NOT MAKE U A CHRISTIAN. IF CHRIST COULD FORGIVE A PROSTITUTE AND SHE LATER BECOMES AN ASSET TO THE KINGDOM OF GOD, THEN WHO ARE YOU (MERE MORTAL) TO CAST STONES?? IF U ARE ONE, GOOD FOR YOU. IF NOT, GOD DOES NOT CONDEMN YOU. For those proclaiming self-righteousness, some of those u're castigating are much better people than some of the 'virgins'. Stop judging and making comparisons. Unless u're God himself?? THE HEART IS OF MORE IMPORTANCE THAN ANY OUTWARD VIRTUE.

Treat her de same way u would if she was still a girlfriend.

Treat her de same way u would if she was still a girlfriend.

na2:
@ poster ,thanks a bunch,nigerian men really need to COPY THIS

Not only copy, but SUPER GLUE it to their medulla. Some of them really need to know wat relationship is all about.

Do wat? Nothing. Are they worth ur disgrace? Just be happy u found out cos some never do.

Do wat? Nothing. Just be happy u found out cos some never do.

A truly loving mother will NOT allow de son's wife drown. If de woman is a good wife, the son got no choice, cos he must save her for de mother.

@topic, SAME REASON A GUY RUNS AFTER ANYTHING FEMALE AND CALL IT 'GUYS' WAY'.

@chinwe, i guess u're Igbo. Remember Igbo women have pride. Dont allow any man see you as a pest. My dear, if dis man is taking u for granted, pls and pls stop pushing him to notice you. And stop listening to his pleas and crocodile tears. IF U'RE SURE U'RE NOT nagging him in any way or making him miserable with ur being too much in his face, then i guess de guy is tired of you. He just does not know how to end things after probably 'wasting' your time all these years, But de biggest mistake u'll ever make is to settle for less than you deserve. STOP looking at your age. Do you want to marry now and become miserable ALL UR LIFE, or you want to give yourself more time to meet the right man who will see you as a priceless jewel, and make you a truly happy woman?? Dont give in to any form of pressure or bad advice from your friends, because if you marry this guy & trouble starts, those friends will be nowhere to be found, probably in their husbands' houses enjoying. Pls be careful. DONT RUSH. YOUR GOD-ORDAINED MAN WILL FIND YOU. Know this: a man that truly loves a woman is de most excited between him, his wife-to-be, his family and hers. He will go out of his way to show her to all his friends, start calling himself a married man even. Her presence would be most welcome. In fact, any day she doesn't call him, trouble! Hahaha. Pls dear, dont settle for someone dat will just TOLERATE you. Butt such people out.

Abali1:
@OP, you said you are getting married in December and you are also telling us that the guy has not come to meet your parents. (I hope that is the scenario).

It seems to me that you are actually the one hurrying this guy into a marriage. Like someone already pointed out, you are the social director of the relationship.

My advice to you is that you shouldn't be desperate at 29, because that is what all this is about. You dated a guy for three years and you still can't learn him. He has a nonchalant attitude toward the relationship. (Please tell us if he is also nonchalant in other areas of his life or relationship with other people).

If you make the mistake of going into that marriage with the present scenario, you will so regret it. For the sake of love, a guy who wants to marry you, and is convinced that he wants to marry you should really be crazy about you. If you are forcing yourself on this guy, please stop it already.

THANK YOU. Wonderful people are talking. HOPE SHE LISTENS!!

deniyor:
For now, put off the wedding at the very least. Things only get worse when you are married. I'd advise you to take a break from the relationship to reconsider things. It will let him decide if he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Right now, his mind is not in the relationship. Goodluck.

@OP, like u said earlier, he delayed coming to start wedding preparations for THREE years. And now that he has finally done so, he is not acting like a groom-to-be, but like a 50 yrs married man. Well my dear, u still want to hear it out loud?? YOUR MAN IS NOT INTO YOU. HE JUST FEELS HE OWES YOU THE DUTY OF MARRYING YOU JUST BECAUSE HE HAS DATED YOU FOR A LONG TIME, and IN HIS MIND HE HAS PROBABLY CONVINCED HIMSELF TO DO IT SIMPLY BECAUSE U'RE ALMOST 30. Simple.

ednaline:
@chinwe, hmm.you have a few things to understand.first of all men get pissed when u are too clingy,not giving them a breathing space. from what i see here , you are the social director of your relationship. it ought not to be so. just take your place, he ought to be the one at the fore front and where he does not do that or is reluctant, u don't have to step up to rescue him like a knight in shinning armour. you are a lady, learn to live like one. how? learn to be at the receiving end. thats how we were created. the men should do the giving, it gives them a certain kick to know they can cater for a woman so y not indulge them?when u leave your place as a woman and take theirs, u'll be worse off for it.

pls check this sight: www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com and understand a lot about men, their needs and how to be happy in your relationship.

if he doesn't have time for u now, i doubt if he"d later on. be smart.

some peeps are just classic! Thanx dear. Plain and blunt. DO NOT CHASE THE MAN OR TRY TO FORCE HIM TO SAY ATTENTION TO YOU. IF HE DOES NOT DO THAT NATURALLY/IS NOT EXCITED ABOUT YOU EVEN AT THIS STAGE, THEN DISASTER AWAITS.

kay jasper:
hmm interesting topic thoughthe most interesting of all this is between WISLET and SAUER who are you? You are just not a bot? i am real,100%
seems like two opposing spirits(the devil talking to an angel) who didnt know the other existed before.
A bit scary dont you think

funny guy.

slymm:
bla bla bla, and the religious fanatics are out blazing again. The man has decided to flee from the bondage known as marriage, let him be.

Pls go somewhere & take ur schnapp. Guess u're a champion at that.

chic2pimp:
I'd rather refer to them as NUTCASES

Am sorry but u just embarrassed yourself. Ur statement is yaba left personified. Are u regular there?, Just asking.

sauer:
you have got to be the classic nutcase. What school did u attend again? Nutty High?

Okay, wislet appears to me rather strange, really? Never heard anyone talk like that or express such opinions. 'Lord Jesus' really? oops!

sauer:
you have got to be the classic nutcase. What school did u attend again? Nutty High?

Okay, wislet appears to me rather strange, really? Never heard anyone talk like that or express such opinions. 'Lord Jesus' really? oops!

De guy just made a spectacle of himself. @sauer, Yes, he is my Lord. Hope u got no problem with that. Better not, unless u're an atheist. Peace.

sauer:
I understand your point. But I don't think it's wise all the same to 'flee' from marriage because of bad experiences others have. You should be able to do it your way. I flee rather from the humdrum, the living together, the routine life, the putting your wife first, the attending functions together. Really, the dependence that follows.
Isn't it funny no one ever inquires about Oprah's sex life or engagements with men (don't like her as example, though)? This is how I mean it!

It took you dis long to say wat u're TRULY having de shivers for. Well my dear, am not a fanatic, i say it de way it is. And i dont blame those that see talking about God as strange, goes a long way to show who they TRULY ARE. . . Anyways, am happy u're not scared of marriage itself but the ROUTINE that follows. . Well, if u feel so strongly about it, u can discuss that with ur partner. Talk frankly with her about your jitters. If she agrees to give u some space, and make it less of a mundane experience for you, then okay.

Does her relationship status read single? Is there any pic of you guys together? Just asking.

It's NOT fair for her to do that, knowing full well men are jealous creatures. At least when she discovered you were getting upset by that, if she didn't have anything up her sleeves, she would have introduced the guy to you. At least if it was just something unserious, she would have at least calmed you down. . . .Women are easily swayed emotionally(in most cases). If she takes so much interest in the guy, she will gradually find her heart yearning for him & start having feelings for the said guy. Is she tryin to get his attention to notice her/they've already started something?? Well, u can ask her to introduce you to de guy as her boyfriend. If she refuses, they my bro, THERE IS INDEED TROUBLE. U're being considered for swaping. Simple.

Unless de guy in question is a player. But if he's NOT, then i say the men love more. A girl can easily change her mind, but if de guy is truly in luv wit her, he is COMPLETELY for her. And it takes him a long while to get over her.

2buff:
^^ aren't you gonna ask him if he haz heavy thighz?

hahahahahahahahahahaha

enamaye:
@o.p the both of you shud visit your pastor, i mean a true man of God,she might be under some influence, i've bn in your shoes b4,its only God dat can make u guys up from your story so far cos u r too bitter to completely forget all u've bn tru in her hands lately.

what does the pastor have to do wit de case?
@OP, U know de girl more than any of us here, u know de reality on ground. If u're convinced ur girl is not sincere to you anymore, well, it's your decision to make. U should find out the true situation on ground, even if it means stalking her. Get to the root of de matter, don't live in ignorance. The ultimate decision is YOURS ALONE to make.

enamaye:
@o.p the both of you shud visit your pastor, i mean a true man of God,she might be under some influence, i've bn in your shoes b4,its only God dat can make u guys up from your story so far cos u r too bitter to completely forget all u've bn tru in her hands lately.

what does the pastor have to do wit de case?
@OP, U know de girl more than any of us here, u know de reality on ground. If u're convinced ur girl is not sincere to you anymore, well, it's your decision to make. U should find out the true situation on ground, even if it means stalking her. Get to the root of de matter, don't live in ignorance. The ultimate decision is YOURS ALONE to make.

enamaye:
@o.p the both of you shud visit your pastor, i mean a true man of God,she might be under some influence, i've bn in your shoes b4,its only God dat can make u guys up from your story so far cos u r too bitter to completely forget all u've bn tru in her hands lately.

what does the pastor have to do wit de case?
@OP, U know de girl more than any of us here, u know de reality on ground. If u're convinced ur girl is not sincere to you anymore, well, it's your decision to make. U should find out the true situation on ground, even if it means stalking her. Get to the root of de matter, don't live in ignorance. The ultimate decision is YOURS ALONE to make.

@OP, re u rish & handchome? Hehehe.

sauer:
Who are you? like really? u are not just a bot? u exist?

yes i do. 100%.

Must u touch her? Can't u marry her first, abi u no get money too?? Lol.

ThoniaSlim:
Yes Preacher Chike! Lmao! Oh puhleaseee! What brought religion into this now? Like seriously!

Marriage is an institution ordained by God, and sex is incorporated in it. Anything outside that is corrupted & working backwards. . . If he does not want to marry, then he should do without de woman perhaps & be alone. If not, best to DO IT RIGHT. Don't be fooled by so-called 'modernization' or 'liberal thinking' my friend. They are all intelligent foolishness.

ThoniaSlim:
You perfectly normal. I've met a couple of peeps who aren't marriage inclined and I find nothing wrong with that! I'm of the opinion, whatever rocks your boat! At the end of the day its your life, so live it the way you want too.

that life he's living is accountable to someone. It's not his, but God's. Remember. Let's not think through the back.

@OP, yes. The Lord Jesus did not marry. But neither did He devise this devilish plan too! He never had any such contract wit any woman. If u know u don't want to marry (there's provision for that-but only for those that want to worship God exclusively! And not for work or ambition for goodness sakes) then do so. But don't BRING A CURSE UPON YOURSELF BY COMMITTING SIN WITH ANOTHER WOMAN (whether a child is involved or not). That idea is not from God. That people are doing it DOESN'T MEAN IT IS RIGHT. Get your priorities straight. . . In this day and age, the devil is devising different ideas to counter almost every good thing God has instituted. He puts such ideas in the minds of men & makes it look so attractive & easy. But what he will never tell you is that such ways have a deep, bottomless gully at their terminating points. Be warned.

I WONDER WHY EVERYONE CAN'T SEEM TO SEE WHERE SISTAWOMAN POINTED OUT THAT DE GUY IS A MARRIED MAN WITH A KID UNDERWAY, BUT WAS THINKING OF CHEATING ON HIS WIFE COS 'SHE ISN'T GOOD AT S.EX'. Dis is daft.

deotelan:
Tasha seems your now thru wiv IGWE419 so lets take it 1step at a time cuz your alredy makin tins kinna complex 2start wit can i av yr email so we culd chat on messenger.

If she's truly 16, ain't u an old man?? Sound lik a kid too. Hmmmmm![quote author=BABE! link=topic=648071.msg8141555#msg8141555 date=1302968015]" I've been around the world, I've seen lot of guyz, but the love way IGBO BOYS give me I no fit find am nowhere nowhere nowhere no,"

"Sweet sweet love sweet sweet love, the love way them  give me, I no fit find am nowhere nowhere nowhere no"  Dr sid---Something about You. [/quote]cool, & true.

Funny enough, a friend of mine dat has lived in Lagos almost all his life told me about this.

Pls guys, stop wasting your breaths. I WONDER WHY DE POSTER HAS NOT REPLIED TILL NOW. She is an adult. Poster, u better talk to a parent, possibly your mum. At least someone visibly close to you who will be able to advise you well. BE WARNED! U don't know what love is.

coded777:
Thanks babe.

Why is it that No gal wanna admit that she's demanding ?? or is it something to be shy of saying,? just wondering, everyone claims not be demanding, when the reverse might actually be the case, LOL

My bro, i got no reason to blow any trumpet to people dat i don't know. I almost neva disturb my own parents, not to talk of a 'stranger'. Dat is just me, i prefer my own money. Guess i got dat streak from my dad.

I DON'T WANT TO CAST MY PEARL AMONG PIGS. So, POSTER, if u know u just posted for posting sake, then u probably DESERVE anything u're getting in that relationship. I DON'T SEE THE REASON WHY SOME PEOPLE WILL ASK SERIOUS QUESTIONS LIKE THIS & ASK FOR ADVICE, AND YET WHEN THEY ARE BEING GIVEN THAT ADVICE THEY CLOSE THEIR EYES AND BLOCK THEIR EARS! If you have any sense at all, you better open that brain of yours and take good advise from total strangers that have the heart to care about your welfare. LEAVE THAT BEAST, he DOES NOT love you. Stop having the weird thinking that he's still a child that will have tantrums and later come back. HE IS A GROWN MAN(or is supposed to be one) with enough time to have developed sound thinking. DO NOT WAIT TILL U'RE HISTORY FROM THIS WORLD BEFORE YOU DEVELOP SOUND THINKING YOURSELF. Where is your pride and self worth?? Remove that cloud covering your eyes & see clearly my friend. I bet you have many other people who value you and love you, yet u think this one deserves you more that your family, perhaps?