₦airaland Forum

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She is playing on the roof.

#Xavier.

1) i Paid 50k To swim at Eko Hotel you say i should not drink the water.?? My friend , Are you OK?

2.) I Pay 80k to sleep in Silverhotel and you say i should not unirate on the bed?? U well at all??

3.) i pay 20K Just for Rice, chicken and Wine and you say I should Not lick the Plate and take the empty wine bottle home??
U well??

4) Nigeria Sef....
How can two policemen be sharing One gun!!
Kai... Naija I hail ooh

5) Don't Depend on Anybody Even NEPA Office has a Generator.

6)"WITCHCRAFT" is when A Yoruba Girl Had an Accident she quickly Picked her phone, Logged in and Posted
"Just had an Accident" #Injury fell on me #Red on Legs #Blood_on_fleek
The wahala is now when you Tag me "Feeling Like Dying with #Precious_Xavier_Uweh And 36 others..
Sister ,is your brain paining you??

7) One Guy hosted a birthday Party for a Girl In My street and another guy Proposed to Her Publicly at the same party and she said Yes!!
:
My Friends have been separating fight since Morning.....
And Here i am Toasting the Girl again
Who Knows ..she might say yes too...

8 ) Those Of You guys That are Busy telling girls you met on Facebook That you are Missing Them..
Please what are you Missing?? Her Handwritting Or Her Photogenic Voice??
I'm with my village people in case you want to Meet Them.

9)Short girls with big head be looking like frying pan.......Oh Lord recreate us!!

#Xavier.

When your wife is on the phone alerting her side nigga or man friend that you're around...

"I'm fine man of God, God is around protecting us".

Ladies you need 20litres of
anointing oil.

#Xavier.

You have been single from January to November and as we enter in December you found love. Bro do not accept, the devil wants to play with your little savings ... Concentrate!

#Xavier.

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Kaycee7:
Aquaman is already the main protagonist. So, of course, his costume will be very dope. Let the others win something nah

If so, Black Manta Nailed it.

#Xavier.

Hello, Fellow Nairalanders, followers and Viewers of this thread "CHRONICLES OF JOKES", This is to inform you all that you are free to post any Jokes, Funny Memes (pictures), Funny Videos and Funny Audios here to keep the thread moving.
And don't forget to leave a comment, hit the like and share button when you visit or view the thread.
THANKS.

#Xavier.

Need for projector in churches.
Advice to all churches!
Buy projectors and display lyrics of songs for
members lest they murder songs in such
manner as these:
A.) Jehovah is Your name (2ce)
19 Warriors, 8 in Battle, Jehovah is Your name
B.) You are handsome in this place mighty God
C.) We go de hee, hee your name debade, holiday,holiday (we go dey hail your name day by day all the way).
D.) Email, email her, email her, Jehovah mail her. Ayinekele gymnastic email her, email her, Jehovah email her.

#Xavier.

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CEO: What is your profession?
ME: I‘m a monocotyledon cremator.
CEO:I have never heard of that before
ME:I roast maize sir
CEO:Get out of my office!!!

#Xavier.

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So Because The Doctor Asked You To Change your Drinking Habit, you're Now Drinking Beer With Spoon? Continue.

#Xavier.

Kaycee7:
You nepotist! Anyone with eyes knows that the clear winner is King Nereus.

Lie. Do not be swayed by Colour Riot. Aquaman's Suit Killed it. Just Take a look at it. OMG.


#Xavier.

Only Deadpool Can Definitely Do This.


#Xavier.

Na Woah Oh. What A World.

#Xavier.

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Pronunciation of W:
English man: Double U,
Yoruba man: Doubly U,
Igbo man: Doubelly U,
Hausa man: Doufley U,
Calabar man: Doubrey U!

#Xavier.

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If you suspect your wife or girlfriend of stealing money from your wallet, just put a used condom in your wallet, then you will catch the thief. Free advice you are welcome my brothers.
Keep knives away..during this period.

#Xavier.

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The problems of Nigeria with English speaking...

British: Extreme.
American: End.
Nigerian: Extreme End.

British: Knicker.
American: Short.
Nigerian: Short Knicker.

British: Salon.
American: Barber Shop.
Nigerian: Barbing Salon.

British: Bend.
American: Corner.
Nigerian: Bend Corner.

British: So.
American: Therefore.
Nigerian: So Therefore.

British: Ten Pounds each
American: Ten Dollars each
Nigerian: Ten Ten naira.

You see where our problem started?
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Nobody should shout on me o. ...I have headache in my stomach.

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Could This Be True

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Na woah, so sad. Is it by force to do. Thank GOD he has been punished.

#Xavier.

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Hello, Fellow Nairalanders, followers and Viewers of this thread "CHRONICLES OF JOKES", This is to inform you all that you are free to post any Jokes, Funny Memes (pictures), Funny Videos and Funny Audios here to keep the thread moving.
And don't forget to leave a comment, hit the like and share button when you visit or view the thread.
THANKS.

#Xavier.

The Computer said "Press Any Key to continue". That was how this Ibadan girl was looking for "Any Key" on the Keyboard.

#Xavier.