₦airaland Forum

[Yeye dey smell. Simple question you are yarning rubbish. That's why you have remained poor and living a life fill with sorrowquote author=SUPERPACK post=100433224]Because of people like you that can't control their dick.[/quote]

I have seen ladies who are well protected at home by their parents especially their fathers turn out to be the direct opposite of what their parents are afraid of or trying to avoid.
My eyes have seen high ranking pastors daughters, and very strict parents become sex addicts without their parents knowing. Some of these ladies even take active part in not only singing but as well play active roles as choir leaders. Some of them even deliver sermons on the pulpit.
There is this particular gurl above 20years that after giving mouth action would still carry on in church activities as if nothing happens. She is a chorister in her daddy church.
The other one that cannot help it when it comes to her boobs but whose parents keep a close tab on at home. The question is would the parents be there to monitor her every movement when she goes back to school.
How could someone who engage in mouth gig continue to lead church choir or even preach on the pulpit? Like the saying goes "fear who no fear woman".
The bottom line is as follows "pikin wey go spoil go spoil, no matter the level of barriers or protection you put in place"
The best you can do as parents is to pray that God in his infinite mercy give you God fearing children.
My question is; why do girls turn out the direct opposite of what their parents are trying to avoid?

There is blessing that goes with giving.
It took me more than thirty years to not only realize this but as well put the art of giving into practice.
Just two days ago, someone solicited solicited the sum of N500 to food. I didn't hesitant, but instead gave the individual N1000 instead.
As I speak with you, I just got a credit alert of N20,000 from someone else for doing nothing.
This is besides over N100,000 I had got from other well wishers since I made that donation of N1000 48hours ago to help someone in need.
This isn't the first time I had been immensely blessed by giving a helping hand to persons in need.
I was taught this secret recently by a friend who confidently told me that he cannot go hungry because he is into the business of giving to the needy

Kondomatic:
How about Ghana and other African countries

The focus here is Nigeria

I once predicted that at the resumption of academic activities in Nigeria higher institutions that most of our public universities would shut down abruptly given the viral nature of coronavirus. To my amazement and using the University of Benin as a case study noting of such has happened so far. This is in spite the large number of students you see every time in the lecture halls, examination halls and school premises. This is making me to rethink my earlier expectations. Isn't it likely we are overestimating this coronavirus pandemic here in Nigeria Please note that here in UNIBEN there is minimal adherence to COVID-19 protocol especially among students.

THIS THING CALLED MARRIAGE
My eyes have seen so many things, read some many things. It is never a thing of joy when couples that just got married end up fighting, and in some instance killing each other.
I still cannot fathom why a woman would end up giving her child or children to another to train without the man knowledge.
There is this news making the round the other of how a man caught his wife in an hotel with another man on valentine day.
What do women want exactly You marry them, cloth them, provide for the home even when she isn’t contributing anything to assist you in this difficult times and yet she insults you, cheat on you and in some instance kill you.
With roughly 10 ( ten) years marriage experience, I can confidently beat my chest and say I have seen it all. And as such, I believe I am competent enough to speak on this thing called marriage.
Ladies, please don’t take things personal or offence in what I about to outline. It’s my own personal observation from a masculine perspective.
1. Money is everything in today's marriage especially when it involves Nigerian girls. e get why.
2. Don't let anybody fool you with the notion that money is not that important when it comes to marriage and settling down with the woman of your dream.
3. Same bible that says that "money is the root of all evil" also says that "money answereth all things"
4. The country is bad right now to the extent that people are looking for safe havens to cool off and the female folks are no exception.
5. Don't let anybody deceive you that the arrival of a child or children would attract financial blessing to your home when you know for sure that you are dead broke.
6. Yes, children are blessings from God. That's doesn't mean that they should be as a basis for your financial breakthrough in life. Just let the children be.
7. Gone are the days when our mothers were given out in marriage based on recommendations. Guy man, you need to shine your eyes very well before taking in any woman as your wife in this 21st century.
8. Believe it or not, your wife have the potential to make or mar you without u knowing. Your progress in life is a function of your home and satisfaction of your wife with you.
9. Your wife is the first thing you see in the morning and last thing before bed time.
10. She cooks your food. Probably wash your clothes and knows the in and out of you.
11. She is the only one that is allowed to see your unclothedness without qualms.
12. With the aforementioned, you shouldn’t underestimate her powers and what she can do to you.
13. Do not ever let any lady tie you down with pregnancy. It will end in tears for you.
14. You should only married her out of love not out pity due to the pregnancy.
15. If you're not fully convince, please and please you should not married her. Such marriage arrangement always end in premium tears.
16. Instead focus your priority in taking care of her and the child long after the baby has been delivered. This entails that she automatically becomes a “Baby Mama” to your kid or kids
17. Remember always that your lost is her gain
18. You gain the trust, love and respect of your spouse more when there is enough money to take care of her everything needs in the home.
19. Don’t get me wrong while money doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage it is an essential ingredient in any successful home.
20. Instead of pursuing woman, why not pursue money first and all other things shall be added unto you. So says the modified version of the Gospel according to me.
21. Avoid broke girls as much as possible when looking for a wife. They are of no use to you in the search for your missing ribs.
22. Always aim for a working class, industrious, respectful, God fearing, ambitious and a humble woman. The bible labelled this kinds of woman to “virtuous”.
23. A broken relationship is way better than a broken home
24. Products of broken home are more predisposed to file for divorce. Remember this always.
25. Remember that lack of financial freedom might serious negative impact in the kind of education and comforts you want to give your kids
26. Money and I mean plenty of it is what keeps the engine of most marriages running.
27. Without money most marriages would struggle to survive.
28. Don't get me wrong, the availability of money doesn't guarantee a successful marriage. However, the absence would speed up the demise of any marriage.
29. I likened the above insulation to Herzberg's two factor theory of "Motivators and hygiene/disatisfiers". Read up what Fredrick Herzberg said about motivation
30. Whenever I see love up pics of married couples on Facebook, Whatsapp and twitter celebrating their marriage anniversary all I do is laugh, laugh and just laugh.
31. My brother, make money so that your woman would be proud to show you off to her friends, old course mates in the university and on social media as if you are her trophy or personal collection.
32. Have you ever asked yourself why women would rather engage a side chick in physical combat rather than their cheating partner? My hommies provide the answers yourself.
33. Money is like the water use in watering a plant to harvest.
34. It's the oil in a car engine that keeps most marriages running. The day it dries up, so many so called loved up marriages would pack up.
35. Money helps in advancing career aspiration without stress.
36. Money frees you from all kinds of depression and pressure that comes from in-laws and loved ones.
37. Family in laws would hardly disrespect you when there is money. This is even more so when your in-laws are poor.
Please and please, before you finally pop up the question, “will you marry me”, you and your fiancé needs to sit down in a round table and agree on so many things. Among the issues that needs to be addressed are:
1. You common faith and beliefs, shared responsibilities, and a complete opening up on you people's past.
1. Do not married from a sect like Gray message when you know that your religious beliefs are tied closely to what you were taught in a bible believing church like Deeper Life Bible Church. It would always end in premium tears if you do otherwise.
2. The lady in question needs to come clean on her body counts.
3. She also needs to tell the man if she had at any time taken in or had an abortion or abortions.
4. You need to do a complete background check on her family history before making up your mind on marrying her.
5. There is the need to agree on the number of kids you guys are wants to have and make adequate plans for the kids.
6. She must tell you her true age?
7. This is because findings revealed that ladies that are 30 years and above generally have problem conceiving or complications during childbirth.
8. If the lady is actively involved on social media space that's is a red flag.
9. If she is always fond of putting up Whatsapp status updates every now and then with her dancing seductively or semi nudes clothes that is also a red flag.
10. If a wayward girl all of a sudden becomes religious and start attending to things of God that is also a red flag.
11. You see our so called lady choristers, except for a very few I don't trust. Be very mindful when contemplating settling down with any of them.
12. The lady must tell you nothing but the truth about her sex history. E get why?
13. You needs to also find out on your own if she is a sex addict. E get why?
14. You should as a matter of necessity know her friends especially her best friend. This would give you a glimpse of the type of lady you are dealing with.
15. What's her health status In particular, what's is her genotype? This is so important to avoid stories that touch.
16. Some ladies have underlying health conditions that they would cleverly hide from you. One such health condition is high blood pressure which could have serious complications during pregnancy.
17. You must get to the root of her health status before anything else.
18. You must run a background check of her social media posts and check out her pics and comment's on different social media platform over the past 5 years. This would give you an idea of the type of lady you are dealing with in terms of character.
19. Most importantly, you and your fiancée needs to sit down and discuss projected income and expenses of running the home and where the money that would be use to run the home would come from.
20. In doing this you guys must reach an agreement as to the percentage of your salaries that would be contributed to manage the home, put in savings and fund important projects. This is if she is a working class lady and earning good salary.
21. Do not forget that once married you need to start making plans to build and move into your own home among other things. This would help your finances in the long run when the children start growing.
22. Lest I forget, partners must give access to their phones to their spouse at all time. E get why
23. For my hommies out there, it is important the issues identified in this write-up are fully addressed before thinking about settling.
24. Do not be blinded with love, as love would not pay the bills when the time comes or save you from a satanic woman from the pit of hell.
25. Always remember that when the chips are down, the society would not be interested in your case as they always say “marriage is for better for worse”.
26. They would also say that you should manage the lady since they did not have any input in choosing the wife for you.
27. Your pastor would even admonish you to stay with your wife even when you tell your pastor that she confess to being a witch.
28. It is therefore expedient that you are extremely careful in matters concerning marriage.

It's better to be safe than sorry.
The world like the saying goes is enough for the wise. Good day.

A lot of persons I know quote author=The5DME post=99346503]Who first class help?[/quote]

Yes. I bagged First Class Honours in Business Administration even after failing ECO211. I later had a B grade in the course

absool:
Can someone graduate with a first class after failing a course

The funny thing is that this is a woman the husband gave an undisclosed amount of money to shop for the month this morning

Xj2020:
A friend of mine is presently down with fever. He just informed me that he told his beloved wife who he had a misunderstanding with for sometime now to help him buy drugs from the pharmacy store as a precautionary measure this night before visiting the hospital first thing tommorow morning and the woman vehemently refused while telling him to go to the pharmacy store to buy the drugs himself.

Yes, they have had misunderstanding for sometime now but is this sufficient reason for the woman to behave in such heartless manner?. After all, marriage is for better for worse.

As a man or woman what is the next step you would advise the sick man to take.

For your information, the friend of mine had to drag himself from the bed just now to get malaria drugs. The drugs were recommended by a family doctor on the phone.

Between them, they have three lovely children. The friend of mine is the sole bread winner of the house.

What could have waranted the wife's behaviour? How should he react to this type of behaviour?

Thanks in advance.

Go back to the thread and read it carefully againuote author=HopeVictor post=98812827]Instead of him to call someone to get the drugs for him he's there reporting his wife..anyways women are known for their wicked acts.. highest na money go be the cause of the misunderstanding[/quote]

He is doing just fine after taking the drugs.just spoke with him is getting better after forcing himself to get drugs from the pharmacy store. quote author=Richy4 post=98811956]


Ok then, Do you have any friend that you can call who lives around your friend's neighborhood? Health is always something no one should play with.. Go for the rescue first then.. When the husband is out of danger he can revisit the wife's transgression.. abi how u see am?

[/quote]

I don't seems to understand you position. Someone is sick and needed help with drugs from the pharmacy store and u are talking about not trusting guys. Thank God he is gaining his strength back after taking doses of drugs he got from the pharmacy store. quote author=MickzyDonalThere's something he ain't explaining to you, I don't trust that guy nor the wife either[/quote]

He was able to manage himself to get the drugs. Just spoke with him and he said he is getting better while on bed rest. The wife in question according to him have refused to show empathy with his conditionuote author=Richy4 post=98811730]But as the friend, have you stepped in to buy the drug in question?
You have to save the situation first before talking about who did what [/quote]

We don't leave in the same vicinityquote author=Richy4 post=98811730]But as the friend, have you stepped in to buy the drug in question?
You have to save the situation first before talking about who did what [/quote]

Thank you Sir
quote author=Shelumiel post=98811421]OP, may we never marry our enemies(amen).

The woman is wrong in doing such, but what I would advise here is this : let the man discuss this issue with his spiritual leader. If possible, let him bring it to the hearing of the elders in church. Then if all is not settled, let him take the matter to his parents and in-laws.[/quote]

A friend of mine is presently down with fever. He just informed me that he told his beloved wife who he had a misunderstanding with for sometime now to help him buy drugs from the pharmacy store as a precautionary measure this night before visiting the hospital first thing tommorow morning and the woman vehemently refused while telling him to go to the pharmacy store to buy the drugs himself.

Yes, they have had misunderstanding for sometime now but is this sufficient reason for the woman to behave in such heartless manner?. After all, marriage is for better for worse.

As a man or woman what is the next step you would advise the sick man to take.

For your information, the friend of mine had to drag himself from the bed just now to get malaria drugs. The drugs were recommended by a family doctor on the phone.

Between them, they have three lovely children. The friend of mine is the sole bread winner of the house.

What could have waranted the wife's behaviour? How should he react to this type of behaviour?

Thanks in advance.

Salary for Lecturers After IPPIS DEDUCTIONS: Take home
PhD LII is #130,000
PhD LI is #163,000 plus min. 3 years post PhD
Senior Lecturer #235,000 plus min. 6 years post PhD
Professor is #345,000 plus min. 10 years post PhD
Senior Professor is #423,000....
Minimum of 3 years gap with fucking hard work , even many spend as high as 5 years before u can move up d ladder of promotions.

REMEMBER
From these peanuts of a pay;
They teach a crowd for a class
They supervise multitudes
They attend conferences from their pockets
They attend seminars from this peanuts
They write and publish articles in reputable journals (enquire the cost of publishing).....etc
They undergo rigorous stress to carry out research.
They spend minimum of 4 years in BSc
They spend minimum of 2 years in MSc
They spend minimum of 3 years in PhD (in Nigeria is near impossible they even spend up to 5 years and above).

Consider their rigours, the pain, the emotional trauma, physical drain, brain drain, intellectual drain they go through just to be qualified for their job specification...

I think our Lecturers work like elephants and earn like ants, they deserve a better pay or remuneration.

In terms of welfare:
You know that 50% of your lecturers don't have good offices, the ones that have no furniture.
Most Lecturers lack good working environment.
Most lecturers handle/teach a crowd of students yet they still try to deliver lectures in such environment (instead of the normal 30-50 students class size).
Most Lecturers supervise projects at their expense.
You want his best yet you deny him the best.

When you compare this salary with those of other Federal Govt agencies it's very very ridiculous.
If you compare it with Universities abroad then Nigeria salary scale for lecturers is infinitesimally small.
I have friends that earn more than a senior lecturer and doesn't have PhD, so it's impoverish to be a lecturer in Nigeria Universities.... the thieves in government with just secondary school � certificates earns way higher than a professor so what we saying....

Before you criticize them;
First put yourself in his shoes
Could you have studied to PhD just to earn #130,000?
Could you have invested the better part of your life up to Prof just to earn #345,000?
Think! They may not have been the best they should yet they are among the best in the world especially if they are giving the right environment to practice.

Is it too much to demand for the revitalization of the universities infrastructure?
Is it too much to ask for their earned academic allowances?
Is it too much to ask for offices for staff?
Is it too much to ask that more lecture venues be constructed for students?
Is it too much to ask for good laboratories for practicals?
Is it too much to ask for their rightful wages?
Is it too much to ask for the upgrade of our universities?
Is it too much to ask for our university system to be sustained and handed to our unborn children better than it is today?
Before you criticize Lecturers think.
Except you are happy with the state of the university system.
If things continue like they are today just be rest assured that one day there may be no schools no universities for our yet to be born children.
If this continues one day there maybe no universities for the common man's children one day education maybe only for the elite class.


NO COUNTRY CAN GROW BEYOND IT VALUE FOR EDUCATION.

God bless our Lecturers.

Copied and reviewed

Madam chii, is it right to open your legs for a man that you are not legally married to? In Christendom it is called fornication. Is it also right to be a party to abortion in which case an innocent child is involved not once but twice? Abeg received sense IJN. Amen

Chii59:
It takes two to tango aunty. If you've never been deceived by a man you loved whom you thought was single but was married, you'll talk the way you're talking.
Incase you didn't read in depth, the abortion is by the side, her main anger is a man she loved and really enjoyed fvcking has been married all along.
Even you, aunty do-good, would get angry.

RIP English Language

Confirmedzombie:
Obasek will steal won the election. I have been tolding people hear that Edo is not Lagos.

PDP must[b]won and took over Edo state

No 2 caught my attention: Dont be with someone who’s family do not like you. It is an everlasting battle that you will eventually lose.

olabrinks:
1. Maintain your weight whilst your young. Not watching your weight will give you series of problem later on in life. Exercise and eat properly.

2. Dont be with someone who’s family do not like you. It is an everlasting battle that you will eventually lose.

3. You will not gain respect trying to please everyone. Stand up for yourself and always speak your mind.

4. Only share things when you are established. People are envious and will try to destroy your plans if you share too quickly.

5. Listen more than you talk.

6. Social skills are paramount for getting further in life. You must learn how to make solid connections.

7. Elders do not know it best

8. Confidence is more valuable than looks

9. Your family doesn’t always want the best for you

10. No one will values you until you hit it big.

11. Be careful with alcohol. It is addictive and very accessible, probably the worst drug out there.

These are just some of mine, feel free to contribute some of yours.

Yes. In my own case she deliberately got pregnant for me and I had no choice than to marry her thinking it was right thing to do. See my story below https://www.nairaland.com/5922955/how-cope-ill-mannered-housewife

iamyemiakins:
Have you ever dated someone who desperately wanted to get married when you were not ready?



How was the experience?

If you are good you are good, and if you are bad you are bad. You might hide your bad side for a while. However, it is only a matter of time before everything would come out to the open. The Big Brother Show is a perfect example.
My story is that of a young chap that fell in love and got married to the women of his supposedly dream with kids. From day one till date, my beloved wife has been anything but a good housewife. She doesn't give me peace of mind. Always looking for ways to provoke me.
My wife isn't submissive. She is abusive and unappreciative of all I have done and have been doing for her and the children. This is even though the financial burden of the house has been mine 100% from the beginning to date. This is a woman that does not want to do any kind of work if it is not a government job. I have provided her with everything she asked for and even those things she didn't ask for. This woman has never lacked anything in my house to date
My beloved wife insults me in the presence of our kids. Mind you, I don't smoke, drink, and womanize. Neither have I laid my hands on her or intend on laying my hands on her. This is a woman I help with house chores like sweeping, washing the bathroom and toilets, and mobbing the house at my leisure time.
This woman has taken sides against in the time past when I had a misunderstanding with some persons outside. This woman isn't scared to insult my parents every time we have a misunderstanding. My mother-in-law isn't helping matter as she has continued to instigate her daughter against me.
I have finally decided to move out of the house for the now and see how things play out. If things don't improve, then I would have no choice than to seek divorce. Notwithstanding, the children would continue to be my responsibility.
Mature advice would be highly appreciated.

Any matured advice would be highly appreciated from the house.

It would interest the house to know that I am under 40 years old and a PhD. D holder in XXXXX in one of the foremost and most prestigious Federal University in Nigeria where I lectures. I have a First honours in XXXXXX in the same university. I was among the top three best graduating student in my Department and was adjudged best student in WASCE during my secondary school days; Best graduating student in my Department at the OND level before seeking and gaining direct entry admission into a Federal University; Won an award for best student at the 300 level in my Department that year. I was a committed member of Deeper Life despite coming from a Muslim. I still remember how my brother and I used to sneak out the house just for rehearsal that year. I was a member of the youth choir that year and I can still remember playing an active role in evangelizing and teaching search the scripture that year. I still remember going to music class that year and playing an active role in my school fellowship. Everything I am experiencing today is 100% my fault. How could I have fallen in love so blindly and got married to a member of a sect called "Grail Message: In the Light of the truth" without a comprehensive background check. Yes, she got pregnant for me outside wedlock which I take 100% responsibility for but still I shouldn't have allowed her cajoled and pushed me into marrying her talk less of having a court wedding. Do you know that this woman is holding on to the fact that she has children for me and that we did court wedding to do whatever she liked with full support from the mum. Do you know that this woman is very good at reporting everything that happens in my home to her mother? She wants a government job and nothing else. I tried my possible best to get her into my institution without success and she knows this. A woman that has never lack anything since we got married but has never been grateful for once in her life for all I have done to keep the home running. A woman that sees the family problem as solely my problem. I have been a member of Nairaland for years but decided to open this account to keep my identity private. I know for sure that if she happens to stumble on this thread she would definitely put 2+2 together to arrive at the conclusion that I am behind this thread. However, I do not care what she thinks or do anymore. I have already told her yesterday that I am through with her and I mean it. I still believe however that it isn't too late to change the narrative of my life. For all the guys’ out there forming 'I am in love' please and please open your eyes before you take that step to settle down with the woman of your dream as that lady could either make or mar you for life.

Madam Hathor or what ever your moniker is, you think in my widest imagination I would sit down and put a lengthy write up fill with lies. Tell me what do I stand to gain or lose by telling lies? Do you know me in person It took me a deal of determination and humility to put up my story on Nairaland knowing fully well that Nairaland is populated with kids and feminists that do not know what life is all about. These kids and feminists are more concern with making fun of the situation, giving stupid advice, abusing the op or arguing from a point of ignorance and stupidity.

Hathor5:


I don't believe the story. It it too black and white and nothing in life is. It is either this or OP is too simple to see the complexities of life and relationship dynamics.

My mind is already made up. It is time I take some very tough and hard decisions. My story here on Nairaland is to serve as a lessons to guyz out there intending to get married. Why should I give her the link? Do you know the magnitutde of wahala that could cause in my home. yet to resolve the one on ground. She is here on Nairaland and might probably stumble on this thread. She would read this thread faster if it's get to front page and she might probably comment

jesmond3945:
see my brother. You have presented your own side and she is not here to present hers. Why don't you give her the link to this thread so that she can present her own side. And then we can find a solution. Divorce is not the answer,unless your life has been physically threatened and not only verbally or there has been constant unfaithfulness. Think about your kids, they would be the one to suffer when mummy and daddy are not together.

Thanks.

Righteousness89:
So sorry bro... I could feel your Deep Pains Reading your Story..

This is The Reason I Tell people not to Marry Just by sight or feelings.. Marriage is a Journey ! We don't know what it holds. But when you Involve GOD and wait for HIM in your Choice of partner, you Escape Many many Wahala

In your case now, you are Married already and I can't Advice you to Divorce .

My Advice to you is this;
You are The Head of that Home! You are the One GOD holds responsible for that Home.

Don't divorce your wife! You need to Personally seek GOD on behalf of your Family. If she is so uncultured and harmful , you could take sometime off and go to place where you can seek GOD'S face on behalf of your Home..

I Know Daddy in Heaven is a GOD of a Second Chance! He can Change anybody!

So take out time to seek GOD'S Face for your Home.

Your prayers will focus on these

1. You Ask GOD for Mercy for Marrying on your own .Ask HIM to Forgive you in every way you have gone against HIM

2. LORD JESUS, by your Mercy , Heal My Home!

After this time with GOD, Expect Changes in your Home..

I personally will join you in prayer!

My sister, all I can do is state my side of the story as he dey pain me. Do you expect me to tell her to log into nairaland and states her own side of the story She is a regular visitor to nairaland. I would appreciate it if the mod could take this post to front page for her to read and for others to learn from my experience. As a young that just got a job, pls be weary of women that comes around forming wifey.

kinah:
He said from day one till date, his wife is anything but a good housewife.

Dat doesn't mean she is seeing someone else. So if a wife is misbehaving she is seeing someone nawa


OP, hope you ain't expecting too much from your wife.which didn't allow you to see the good in her.
This story is one sided

At this point in my life I am less concerned about whether she is seeing someone or not. My priority is the children. She can do whatever she ;likes

Divoc:
Op before I say anything, have you investigated if your wife is seeing another man?

Bros, I remember vividly having to buy an antelope, 100 tubers of yams, four 50 liters each of red oil, money for boys, girls, mother, father among others as bride price that year. He no easy my brother

Ningen:
I can't believe you paid a ‘bride price’ for such a disrespectful, unsubmissive, toxic and financial burden! What were you doing during courtship??

Bro, there's nothing good about this woman.
How did you MISS all the red flags??

Don't ever try coping.
She'll kill you before your time.

For your peace of mind and sanity, divorce her!