₦airaland Forum

This has been posted once on the nairaland forum. It's still nice though!

Nice one. Can't imagine the look on the wife's face

It is very possible brother. January is almost here! It may be that someone in the company is resigning then. Haven't you read a thread on this forum of somebody that was called at first bank five month after their test in which he has even forgotten about the job? Let me be the the first to congratulate you my brother. CONGRATULATIONS!!

The naughty, Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.

His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "

But Dad, it was not my fault.

We were all in church saying our prayers.

We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt.

I reached over and pulled it out.

That`s when she hit me!" "Johnny,"

the father said. "You don`t do those kind of things to women."

The very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.

Johnny`s father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" "But Dad," Johnny said, "It was not my fault.

There we were in church saying our prayers.

We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt.

Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out.

Now I know she doesn`t like this, so I pushed it back in!"

Do you know that ants don't sleep?

Do you know that smelling bananas can help you reduce weight?

Good for you two. Congrats

Oracle, do you ever leave nairaland? You are always online! keep it up brother

Interesting facts:

Smart man
+ smart woman = romance
Smart man
+ dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man
+ smart woman = affair
Dumb man
+ dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss
+ smart employee = profits
Smart boss
+ dumb employee = production
Dumb boss
+ smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss
+ dumb employee = overtime

Do you know that dolphins, whales and mouse can actually sing like humans?

Kokoletz, with all these threads that guys have posted and you have not known what your babe want? Perhaps you just met these girl of yours.

Who cares what you want. No go work dey wait for who go care for wetin you want. just kidding. What we are saying here is that money and women go along together. Give her lots of it and she is okay. The day that stops, problem don start be dat

ITALIAN BOY CONFESSION

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been
with a loose woman."

The priest ask, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"

"Yes, Father it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her
reputation."

" Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

" I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"

" I'll never tell"

"Was it Nina Capeli?"

"I'm sorry but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

" My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You 're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone You cannot attend church services for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino
slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"FOUR MONTHS VACATION AND FIVE GOOD LEADS"

One man company can sack one at anytime without notice. And this one without appointment letter ehn, na wao. Follow your heart man

Do you know that it would take 52,609,024 steps to walk arround the world?

Three men were fond of playing golf.

So they were discussing about how they will convince their wife for playing golf.

First man: I can pursue my wife by gifting her a diamond necklace.

second man : I can pursue my wife by buying her a mercedes.

Third man: I dont have to spend money to pursue my wife. I will only ask her one question in the morning

i.e. golfcourse or intercourse

From an unreliable source, OND gets a little above 50k and HND and B. Sc gets a little above 100k

People are not that desperate MR JOBOFFER!!

May me too join them say congrat to you o. CONGRATULATIONS MA BROTHER

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when
he finally woke, he motioned for her to come closer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You
have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were
there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got
shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with
warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."

Alinco2, you may not see the humour because you are a lady

There is nothing better than true happiness!

A person comitting suicide is trying to die while a virgin is dying to try. figure out the meaning now!

Do you know that an Ostrich eye is actually bigger than its brain?

WAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PERSON WHO IS COMITTING SUICIDE AND A VIRGIN ?

_ _ _ _ONE IS TRYING 2 DIE

, THE OTHER 1 IS DYING 2 TRY,

Do you know that a cockroach will live without its head for 10 day before it dies of starvatin?

Your name is too evident brother. CHIKE JUDE!

He was so shocked. They were still together barely 48 hours ago. Or was he seeing something else? As all these thoughts and more than a thousand others run through his mind, he was brought to the present by a knock on the door of his bedroom. He had forgotten to lock the front door.



PRESENCE

Do you know that if you yelled for 8 yrs, 7months, and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat 1 cup of cofee?

Whats the closest thing to a womans period?

Your salary.

It comes once a month,

lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesnt come,

everythings f~cked

My dear, appealling a visa refusal at the british embassy is not always a good advice. The chance of success is not up to 20%. Cases of appeal is treated at their office in London and it is not a quick thing. It takes time.

But I think Nigeria has been excluded from the eligible countries?