₦airaland Forum

Hi,

Some of us are so busy, others are too shy to make new friends. Why not just meet new cool people who love you just for being you.

You never can tell where you meet that great friend. Meet people with different ideas who are willing to share and be a part of your life. No one is an island remember. Happiness is a very valid issue in relationships. If you're not going to be happy, don't go start any.

DON'T DROP YOUR CONTACT DETAILS TO AVOID SPAM.

ruth.yazga@gmail.com
Subject of the mail MUST be" WhatsApp group 2018/2019"

https:///B7cvm2e4Ys0AQj0ApVkp8c,

dv4real:
I am a single mum of 35 yrs, from Enugu state. any interested man can WhatsApp on 08063705600

https:///B7cvm2e4Ys0AQj0ApVkp8c,

https:///B7cvm2e4Ys0AQj0ApVkp8c,

succyreal:
Are you a single mother or father? what are your challenges? What are the lessons you learnt, and what are your experiences and advise?.

Non single parents contributions are welcome.

Matured and responsible discussions are allow.

https:///B7cvm2e4Ys0AQj0ApVkp8c,

rittyben:
Our society frown so much at single mothers. People see them as irresponsible girl(s) that "God decided to expose". You introduce your child, the next question is "so you are married", or "thought you are single". You confirm that you are single, the next respond is "oh" or they make one funny face.
But in truth, our only crime was to say NO to ABORTION.

Blackivy29:
greek arts portray men with small d!cks because it was assumed ideal. So men should love themselves too.

Amen!

funmisticqueen:
i have actually, may God rest his soul, i would have married him in a heartbeat.

*Ladies be sincere, Would you date a guy that won't ask for Sex until Marriage??...*

.

DEAR LADY THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU

If you have small boobs or a small behind, don't let the media and music videos make you feel not hot enough. Sexiness is not defined by the size of your body parts. You look sexy just the way you are. Confidence makes you sexy

There is nothing wrong with you if you are not married yet. You're not incomplete just because you don't have a man. Your marriage will come, you were created for more than marriage

There is nothing wrong with you if you are divorced. You are not a failure. The world does not know how much you loved your husband, how much you fought for your marriage, all you went through and circumstances that forced you to separate

There is nothing wrong with you if the man you wanted to love turned you down. One day a man who knows your worth will come

There is nothing wrong with you if you were cheated on by your man. He chose to be unfaithful, don't you feel unattractive; you are a keeper, he just foolishly chose not to keep you

There is nothing wrong with you if you have stretchmarks. Your skin had to expand when your curves formed and when you got pregnant; celebrate your womanhood

There is nothing wrong with you if you have wrinkles. Those beautiful lines look so cute and real when you laugh and smile, embrace them. Thank God for the years you have lived

There is nothing wrong with you if you don't have children. You are not a lesser woman because you have no child. The mothers are not more special than you, children are a blessing from God not an entitlement. You will get your own or if you so wish, adopt

There is nothing wrong with you when people mock you saying your standards are high, you know your worth and God will grant you the desires of your heart; dream big

There is nothing wrong with you when you lose fake friends. Better one true friend than a long list of fake friends

There is nothing wrong with you when you have stayed single for long yet you desire love. Love will find you, don't betray love by quickly jumping into wrong relationships

There is nothing wrong with you when you choose to dress decent in a world where scandalous ways get lots of attention. Don't lower your dignity, and respect for you will pile up. You don't have to use the sex card to get attention. You have a brilliant mind and deep heart; besides, decency is very sexy

There is nothing wrong with you if during sex you don't squirt. The ladies who squirt shouldn't make you feel you are missing out. Enjoy your own sexual high, each woman is made differently

There is nothing wrong with you if you have haters. They hate you and are jealous of you because of your success and shine. Don't let them distract you, answer their hate with love, win them over with more success and your smile, shine on!

It is a pity most women these days marry to make a house and not build a home. One wonders if such women ever understand what marriage is all about. Marriage these days are full of deceits and pretences. Which way are we going?

damtan:
Seun, here are a few tips on requested upgrade

There should be a dislike button.

Improve search results on Nairaland. I find frustrating to search on this platform. You should enable "combined word search". Search result shouldn't only be by single word search.
Moreso, search results should not be repeated. A single thread can make up a whole page with multiple repetition. Please, work on making search results more concise and accurate.

Personally, I need a block option. Some people are frustrating so much that I wish I could just block them permanently from seeing my posts and all 8)

I have a lot to say but I can't type much right now.

Seun, Olorun a ran e lowo o

Seconded!

I have learnt to ignore

missjo:
What you're experience is a cultural phenomenon common in African and some Asian societies. Since you cannot eliminate behaviours that have cultural undertones without getting rid of the cultural foundations itself, you may as well learn to ignore some things and just do you.

Oh shut up please

viccipedia:
Try marry too. If you can’t beat them, join them or keep calm and enjoy your status.

The discrimination the society have against the single ladies must stop.

My 3 experiences.

First experience
A question was asked in Church Sunday school this passed Sunday. "What can be done to raise a Godly family " Other members were giving their opinions. I raised up my hand to give my own opinion and the coordinator asked if I was married, that I can't make contributions if I wasn't married. I had a genuine answer to that question but not being married was more important than what my brain could deliver. Let it pass as I didn't give him the satisfaction of knowing if I was married or not.

Second Experience
I was in a place, a local government office. Waiting to be attended to. I was supposed to go before a lady so I stepped forward but the the government worker turned me back and called her instead . The lady she called demanded to know why, and she said in Yoruba that "don't mind this new generation children, they don't have respect. Didn't she see the ring on your hand showing that you are a married woman". Besides she did not greet me when she walked in. The lady insisted she would wait for her turn and she should do the right thing. The lady took her sit and nudged me to step forward. She grudgingly attended to me. This government worker was an elderly woman.

Third Experience
I went to RTC park in port Harcourt to deliver a goods to my customer that lives in Imo State. A young lady was asked to be patient so they could attend to a married woman, telling her she was more important because she needed to go back home and cook for her husband while her own boyfriend can always hang out in chicken republic. All these was said to her in a funny way and to them it was supposed to be a joke. Because of how it was said, the lady didn't know how to react . She smiled and the married woman took her slot. I was livid where I sat.

Now I want to ask, is there a special kind intelligence, a special brain, smartness, financial status upgrade, breakthrough in cancer research? Increase in the value of the Naira that comes with being married because I don't understand. Help me understand.

Once a customer was nasty to me, I kept my cool because that was my job. One of my customer was very nasty to me yesterday Oh she was very nasty and difficult but I was professional about offering my service to her. Yours truly couldn't take it and went out to cool off.

Fam! You won't believe my customer's new attitude towards me. Where did all the nastiness go? She was all sweet and cool and loving and hmm. And oh, before now, she had her wedding ring on her finger in my face so I could see clearly she was married. So she needs the respect accorded to married women not knowing that some people have been in marriage before her

Why?

What has the singles done to deserve these. When did becoming single turn to a sickness? Why is the society mean to the singles that even a bus conductor that has not washed his boxers in days would have the temerity to shout at a girl to go and marry. It makes my skin crawl. Don't try that around me because I will buy the case. It is as a result of the injustice and meanness towards the singles that make the ill guided ones rush into marriage. Anything, just come, as far as you are a man. Just to escape the brutality of their fellow human just because they don't have the Mr/Mrs tag. Tag. A tag? A tag that can be detached at anytime. Something that is not promised. What about the married ones that cut off all ties with their unmarried friends. Really? I am coming for you. I will dedicate a day post for you because I want to know your reasons. I really want to know.

Dear single ladies, Listen to me. Own your singleness and walk with your shoulder up high. Don't allow anybody pressure you or bully you into marriage. Don't make the wrong choice because you want to be seen as reasonable human. Nothing is wrong with you. You are perfect and enough. In fact you are more intelligent and you engage your brains more than most of the married people. Yes, I said it.

You may be surprised they are jealous of you so they want to push you into the wrong hand to share in their misery. You may be surprised many of the married once would jump at the opportunity to opt out of their marriage. They want to be single again. If only they can do things differently, make their decisions differently. You don't know the time and opportunity you have as singles. Opportunity to learn from other people's mistakes and make the right decision. Don't let anybody make you feel otherwise. Take your time and choose the kinda man/woman you love to live with the rest of your life. The most important thing in marriage is love, check if you love that person before you jump into marriage. Cut off anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable with your singleness, they don't have your interest at heart. Don't settle for less because of society judgment of you.

Pray, work hard, work for your money . Enjoy your amazing life, Stay beautiful, stay hydrated. Have sex because you want to. Stop feeling guilty about it. Be a bad ass defender of yourself from bullshit. You will marry when it's your time, that is if you want to because the society is still insensitive to the fact that many don't want marriage. They just want to live.

Stay beautiful and keep peppering them. You are enough.

Long post again. Surely it will speak to someone.
Love from me to you.
https://www.nairaland.com/5144676/single-parent-group-spg-2019

Good news.. I have Created a WhatsApp Group for all Northerners excluding Abuja........

So Nlers if you Reside in the Northern part of the Country click the WhatsApp Group link to Join....

Please only Those in the Northern Region only.... Just click on the Link to join don't drop your Numbers....https:///CFJRYd8WC1gGmN9D5bx9pD

The heart of Lagos

samuelchimmy:
what part of lagos

THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE

Magnoliaa:
I feel you're describing a 'perfect' woman who has everything in place.

There are so many things to consider: her maturity and mental/emotional health. How healthy is she in those aspects to be in a marriage and raise kids? How many people know themselves when they are young?

Not everyone wants kids, also.

And financial stability.

There are cases where marriage has hindered women from being themselves truly and going after their dreams/career.

truthsayer009:
Everyone expires both Men and Women. Some people are only lucky that they aged really well.

As for biological clock, this is very true as women who give birth early usually look so great in their 30s and 40s.

Not ture

You are demonic.

aysuprano:
What if they both die during honeymoon stage

Most women are subjected to pressure to get married as quickly as possible due to the popular idea in our society that women have expiry dates. I don't agree with this view.

Marriage is not the purpose of our existence. Marriage is over hyped. You need more than marriage to live a meaningful life. While marriage is a very good thing, it is not the only thing in life. So no woman should abandon her ambition and future because of marriage.

There is no difference between a man and woman. If men don't expire then women don't expire too. A woman should plan to acquire relevant skills that will make her independent and comfortable so that she will be able to enjoy life. Young women should have a strong focus on building capacity that will help them to survive the rigors of life in future.

A woman cannot expire while alive. A woman that has no future ambition or any relevant skill has already expired no matter how young she is. There are many young girls whose brains have been wired to focus on getting married to the extent that they are now like zombies. They make no effort towards self improvement or future ambitions. Marriage is meant to be a complement and not a foundation.

If as a woman your only worry is getting married and you are going around churches and ministries or taking any desperate measures so as to get married, just get it into your head that you are already expired. I believe that every woman has a destined husband and that everything will happen in the appointed time. So there is no need to rush.

Sit down and create a purpose for your life and work hard at achieving your ambition. Things have changed. Many women are the pillars of their family. Most of your friends who are married will not tell you how they are the ones footing the bills. If those women were not well prepared for life's challenges and had rushed into marriage just like that, they would have ended up frying akara and hawking pure water on the street.

Don't let anyone make you feel depressed just because of marriage. Marriage is good but without adequate preparation it can be a very difficult experience.

So while waiting for Mr. Right keep working on yourself and achieve the best you can be. You are limitless and wonderfully created.

BARRISTER Chidi Hope Ogudu
WOMEN rights advocate and DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUNSELOR

*THE DIFFERENT STAGES OF MARRIAGE...!*

1. THE AMAZEMENT STAGE: This is the "wow" stage. Lots of new things to discover with your spouse. The newness, the freshness is so amazing. Sleeping on the same bed, wearing the same attire, cooking for him, doing house chores with her, bathing together. Wearing your dazzling wedding ring everywhere, turning people's head at the newest couple around. Loads and lots of fun. Sexual exploration and excitement. Being in control of your kitchen, feeding him and lots more. It's the honeymoon stage and it's so so beautiful.

2. THE IRRITATION STAGE: This is when you begin to notice weaknesses you have overlooked or blissfully wish they go away but didn't. The repetition of such weaknesses begins to work on your nerves and you are getting irritated: he snores a lot, she is slow in the kitchen, she belches loudly, he screams unnecessarily, she won't bathe before coming to bed or shave, he spends many hours watching football and ignores you when you talk. "What's just wrong with this guy?" You think aloud, well it's part of marriage.

3. THE ANGER STAGE: This is when the repetition of such weaknesses gets on your nerves and you display your anger. The introverted partners stuffs it in and either keep malice, avoid you or stubbornly continue with the irritating habit. It's the stage you begin to wonder: "have I really married the wrong guy?" "Have I married the wrong woman?" No, you did not, you are simply going through a phase together.

4. THE RESOLUTION STAGE: When you both begin to face the reality of marriage and acknowledge your partner's weaknesses. You eventually realize anger and malice does not solve any problem and begins to find ways to deal with your differences, both of you begin to compromise here and there and adjust to each other.

5. THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE: When it dawned on you that some things are just part of your partner and may never change. You resigned from anger, abuse and quarrel and choose to accept them, lovingly adjust to them and enjoy them regardless of their weaknesses.

6. THE RESTFUL STAGE:This is the stage you permanently accept them with all their strengths, weaknesses, short comings and flaws and love them unconditionally regardless of what they do. This is real love -agape, divine and true. You reconnect emotionally, spiritually and physically at a deeper level and enjoy honey moon again while building a lasting marriage regardless of the challenges you face.

There is no perfect marriage. Every marriage goes through this stages. How you handle it will determine if you will come out bitter or better.
You don't have to abuse your spouse or keep malice if God is at the centre of your home and you obey the word of God daily.
Nevertheless, do not be disappointed if you go through the unpleasant stages in marriage. It is a phase and will surely end.

Handle your marriage with wisdom and keep loving regardless of the challenges you face. That is what will make your marriage a heaven on earth experience. Thanks for reading. God bless you