₦airaland Forum

EvilPOTATO:
I am a testimony of your help and goodness. thank you sir. May God always be in your favor

motionarena:
Reply and Like this comment with the private school you teach and I will and I will send you 10k

motionarena:
Reply and Like this comment with the private school you teach and I will and I will send you 10k

tunary:
It feels emotionally excruciating to see youths desperately in search of a job with little or nothing at last all because of the level of corruption in Nigeria. I cannot promise you but encourage you to pray and keep trying, God will see you through. and abstain from sin. I'll reach you

SAMBARRY:
Dude is 30?


He still looks like a teenager or someone in his early 20s

Anyway I don't believe this guy is 30.nigerian musicians are known to be pathological liars..he should be somewhere around 20-23 max! That's if he's not a teenager

Yes I understand that there are some men with small/short stature or baby face but their character, idiosyncrasies and attitudes will reveal they're adults or in their 30 but this guy's dressing, character,innate tendencies and everything about him looks like a teenager.


The other day Burna boy was saying he's 29
So does it now mean Wizkid is older than Burna.


The Burna I'm seeing will be in his late 30s and early 40s like 40-42.

Small time now Olamide will say he's celebrating his 17th birthday.

franugo:
Grammarnazi1

tunary:
It feels emotionally excruciating to see youths desperately in search of a job with little or nothing at last all because of the level of corruption in Nigeria. I cannot promise you but encourage you to pray and keep trying, God will see you through. and abstain from sin. I'll reach you

15ssDRIVE:
Some years ago,I was in Singapore,some guys organized the Independence Party ....


My guy promised everything,that’s it’s gonna be easy access.

When we reach there,come see order and controls from all side ... some go say enter,some go say no way ....

Me I just approach the Igbo bros with Igbo Lang’s,when the Yoruba bros ask me to say the same in Omoluabi mode I did and the only 2 Hausa Bros’s ask me the same in Hausa language I roll am out easily..

Na so they gave me automatic ticket....... come see eating after too much Poooiii.

Eat like say 2morow no dey.....0

tunary:
So you depend on daily income for survival? reach me through my email

tunary:
So you depend on daily income for survival? reach me through my email

Mrshape:
Me done already they inform my schools too.
Make them know say I day aware.

I teach mathematics in five schools I believe I will get all my salaries

Which subject do you teach?

franugo:
Tar
Mirage

Thank me now

Eulalia:
Saw this earlier today in Facebook.

Who knows how possible this is especially with the "some" they have put in the matter now.

Let me begin to call my schools one by one to add me to the list. Cos I nor commit crime to be a partime teacher. .

pDudd:
Back then in UI, I was tall and I had a chunky friend I used to call Big Dog. Big dog was a dark skinned Yoruba guy who had body and had Yoruba swag.

Now if you went to UI, you will know Sultan Bello Hall and it's dome called "Bello Dome." Lots of people used to do wedding receptions in Bello Dome and it was often a thing of repute to be a student in Bello Hall and be able to sneak into one of those wedding receptions.

One Saturday, they were holding one of those receptions and from the arrangement and decorations happening in the morning that day, it was like that reception was going to rock. And that period, kobo not dey anybody pocket and all boys were hungry. That's how I contacted Big Dog all the way in Zik Hall and told him to show, because we must enter that party. We used our last kobo to go and barb hair and ironed our whitest agbada and decided to enter.

Normally those parties require IV card to enter inside because they knew that students may want to fall inside and enjoy free food. But me and Big Dog looked like dignitaries. Infact, Big Dog resembled an Otunba and I resembled his boy. That's how both of us entered and got to the place where they are checking IV. Big Dog just talked one jagajaga alaye Yoruba talk and next thing they opened way for us because they thought he was a big man . They led us to one nice table that was already decorated with small chops.

Chai, see enjoyment. Small time they will bring juice, after a few minutes, they will bring wine, then malt, then bottle water, then peppersoup, etc. Small time they will check on us to know if we are having a good time. Me I dey form yankee ajebutter and Big Dog dey form Chief Otunba Big Dog. Omo! We chop every every. They kept bringing different types of food to our table and asking us if we are ok. Hahahahahahaha. That's how broke boys chop life that day.

Big Dog, if you're reading this, I miss you bro.

iamyemiakins:
I came across this post on Facebook by a lady talking about her experience back in the University days as a gatecrasher at a wedding party. I found the post funny and well composed, so I decided to share it here

By Abigael Oyebola Ojo

I wasn't invited to the first wedding I ever attended as an adult.

Infact, I didn't know the bride or groom from anywhere neither have I ever seen any member of their extended family or ancestors in my life before. I was just passing in front of the venue and did 'Mogbo mo branch' a.k.a wedding crasher.

I wasn't even ashamed at all. I danced to my satisfaction, did plenty awwwwwwn, eheeeeeen and God when facial expression like I rightfully belong there as a guest. I was part of those that ate double portion of food and still got the finest piece of every souvenir that they shared at that wedding from all angles.

The only thing I did not do at the wedding was to pick money that they were spraying people that were dancing. My home training did not allow me to shame my family to the last point of no redemption.

This wedding took place in Trenchard hall at the university of Ibadan. That Saturday, I was strolling back to my off campus residence after I finished many hours of reading for an examination on empty stomach. I was so broke to my teeth with no hope of my next meal.

I was going home dejected and thinking about my life when I saw a red bus carrying plenty coolers of food into Trenchard hall...the aroma of party JOLLOF and Yoruba pepper was the first thing that oozed inside my nose with reckless abandon.

I wanted the happiness in that red bus and decided to go for it. I brought out powder and lipstick from my bag to polish my face so I can at least look presentable to the glory of owambe.

I used weavon brush to finish work on my hair and arranged my books like an inspector working for the school management.

At first, I thought the bouncers were going to stop me so I prepared a story in my head. Luckily, nobody even noticed me till I was comfortably settled on a table close to the groom's family.

I greeted the two elderly men sitted there with one fake smile and mentally prepared myself to attack all the plenty drinks and abundance of small chops that Angel Michael has provided.

I first drank two bottles of cold malt so I can have enough energy to devour the food. After, I ate some samosa and fried meat to prepare my stomach for the main meal. No one even asked me any question as I gulped down the food.

Summarily sha, I ate goatmeat peppersoup followed by pounded yam and one obstruction filled Egusi soup. I washed down the food with Hollandia yoghurt before I got myself and remembered belly for the food and food for the belly saying.

After the reception, when people were almost dispersing to their houses, I waited behind to collect plenty JOLLOF rice and chicken to eat for dinner with my roommates.

As souvenir, I got a blue umbrella, branded jotter plus pen, hand fan, bucket, big tray and rechargeable lantern.

I know the law of karma so I have prepared my mind to feed all the gate crashers that God will direct to my wedding. In this life, I believe whatever you sow you must reap in double portion...so no shaking.

May God bless the husband and wife that wedded on one Saturday in 2014 for rescuing my stomach from hunger and making me graduate with an excellent result.

Na wedding I crash, I no marry somebody's husband.


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=3481868938545817&id=100001682347694

Share your experience as a gatecrasher

fairfora:
Hello, do not allow anyone to scare you here. What she had is called a PCOD or a PCOS( poly cystic ovarian disease otherwise known as a poly cystic ovarian syndrome). It's a number of cysts formed around the ovaries. This is irrespective of age as we see similar cases on a regular basis.

The surgery is minor, during which mostly a PCOD needle and other laparosopic instruments would be used and she would be fine.

Openbusiness3:
is not about dying. Many men will gladly give their lives for a good cause. It is about DYING FOR NOTHING! Imagine dead soldiers being denied and at best being counted as statistics and their families being left to suffer, while they spend billions to de-radicalize and reintegrate the same evil terrorists that have killed thousands of soldiers. Why would any sane soldiers want to continue fighting for such an army?

SirLinks:
there are so many millionaires who did so without opening a book.
Money is about awareness, identifying opportunities and acting on them.

APOPTOSIS:
I knew my Wife is capable of such.
The Last time she brought a HALLOWEEN WIG home without my notice.
Could you imagine that she waited for us to sleep then she wore it around midnight to join me in bed.
While cuddling and facing her in sleep, I suddenly woke up in the morning only to realize an Ugly looking creature wrapped in my Arms.
I almost convulsed.

Honestly Speaking, I nearly attacked her not knowing that my wife wore the ugly creature.
I have started planning her as well.

flyingpig:
What do they know?

They're not in Nigeria at the moment.

There is no adjective suitable to describe how despicable Nigeria is right now.

Spontaneous007:
If I tell you my own you no go believe....

Well

It all happened when I wanted to write my first semester exam (first year).
It was MEC102 (technical drawing)...

Even during normal lectures, i didn't have the slightest knowledge of technical drawing because I never did it in school. I was not concerned about learning it because I hated drawing so much. Infact, the last time I drew was in pry 2 when we use to draw mango, apple and basket.

The basic tech I managed to do sef in jss2 ... It was makana makana (mark an arc) we we're just hearing from the man's mouth.

.. fast forward to the exam period Sha...

I had all the instrument for drawing ready but nothing was on my head.
As the invigilator started sharing drawing sheets, the shit in my anus started drawing closer. It was as if I was given a DEATH note.
Then he started sharing question paper. Omo come and see question. I doubt if seasoned architects can answer the question we were told to answer.

Well as a sharp guy Sha.. I couldn't leave my drawing sheets blank so I started drawing...


Omo.. come and see drawing.. I never knew I had the talent to draw rubbish..

I was just drawing different lines that has not been discovered in technical drawing. I was happy with the rubbish I was drawing until the lecturer who was taking the course entered and looked at my drawing.. he laughed and shouted at me saying; " your calling is not engineering, you should go and start selling Coco and akara"

... Everyone in the hall bursted in laughter.. even the girl behind me that I was forming efiwe for laughed so hard... When I couldn't take it.. I submitted my rubbish and went out of the hall.

On tthe day the result cam out.. I came out with flying colors of failure �

coronavirus19:
Then it is what?

Constantjohn:
Which pocket.

Me wey dem wan fold


If u r tired of naija, just take this drink

Constantjohn:
Incase you are traveling out. Can u fold me in your traveling bag??

dynicks:
A perverted and highly notorious inmate on sighting hushpuppy entering the penitentiary would be like...

Omo! So na this guy them dey call GUCCI Taliban.. See as the guy fresh like today's bread....this guy fresh die!!....Make them arrange this guy come my corner abeg make I launch'am! Av got lots of reserved oils.....oboy!