₦airaland Forum

You have a problem

It's not their fault. Nature designed them to be such

You're complaining because your boss betrayed you. Betrayal is a normal part of the workplace. Better thank your stars. You haven't seen the shege this Nigerian graduates have experienced in the hands of their bosses.

In this video: the craziest job stories never told, everyday Nigerians like yourself share their experiences of being maltreated, cheated and fired unceremoniously at the workplace. I bet after you listen to their stories, you will realize that you're is just learning work compared to theirs.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdbg7Xqg1cQ

Cheers up baba. Better things are ahead.

so funny

Yes I have. There was this girl that when I met her, she was dark skinned and as thin as a broom. We met in 100L, she was my first girlfriend. Every time we hugged, it was like hugging a matchstick. I wasn't feeling her again so I broke things off.

Fast forward 4 years later, she was hot as f. She was now yellow, busty and my exact spec. Na so d girl go o

Dimaya:
great article

Now, here's how not to get scammed while job hunting


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8jKcXXqPS4

enjoy

Great video. Hilarious but so educational and true. Thanks for sharing

Dimaya:
What tech industry?

The best you can do is research skills needed abroad. And train for it.

Don't fall into the hype of local tech industry. Most depend on outsourced solutions from India. Except you want to face the same fate that the 14 Nigerian graduates in this video: the craziest job stories you've never heard are facing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdbg7Xqg1cQ

Thank me later

OP, you're involved in prostitut1on

lavylilly:
I'm not sure that I can describe 'all' the ways, but my experiences of childhood trauma have certainly mapped out my personality, emotions, situational reactions and who I am.

This could potentially be a very very long answer, instead of just a long one, so I will attempt to categorise my experiences and their legacy. All effects lasted into my early 20's in some way or other.

Neglect: due to the profound and continued neglect suffered throughout my childhood and teens I reacted in numerous ways.
1. I would lie constantly and make up stories for my peers that made it sound like I had a loving family and Happy life.
2. I would steal clothes, books, cd's etc. to make it look like I had things, or even to say I had received birthday/Christmas presents.
3. I vowed never to treat my own family and child(ren) this way.

Physical abuse: I was terrorised by my older sister who kicked, punched and abused me on a level far above that of sibling rivalry or 'normal' fights. Mum would also smack or hit us with a slipper when we had done wrong. This led to...
1. My being very quiet and lacking assertiveness.
2. Having feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem and lack of confidence. I believed I deserved punishment.
3. Being cowardly and passing blame onto others to avoid punishment.
4. Allowing others to take advantage of my demeanour, then hating myself for being so weak.

Emotional abuse: similarly to physical, my sister could manipulate my emotions quite skilfully, and I constantly believed I was worthless. I was never told I was loved, or pretty, or clever etc. and had no emotional support.
1. I had no ambitions as I felt useless and pointless.
2. I craved attention either positive or negative, and had to be centre of attention.
3. I sought people I deemed weaker than I, and helped them, advised them and supported them as a way of feeling needed and worthy.
4. I became promiscuous as a way of harnessing affection and feeling loved/wanted, however false and brief the encounter.
5. I self harmed or feigned illness as a way of gaining sympathy from others.

Sexual abuse: I don't know when it started (presumably as a young child), but it didn't stop until I was in my twenties. I realise now that this has messed me up more than I knew, and continues to have a profound effect.
1. As previous, I became promiscuous and used sex as a way of control. It was entirely in my hands on who I gave it to, and what they got. I could take it away and have them at my mercy.
2. I attempted suicide twice.
3. I never enjoyed sex. It was a means to an end. I have never orgasmed. I don't like to be touched and physically recoil or stiffen when my man comes near me. We have been together for 6 years, and have not had sex in 5 yrs.
4. I have constant nightmares that my grandfather is trying to touch me. In the dreams I scream out, kick and punch him and tell everyone what he is doing/has done (something I could never do in real life).

Over and above these effects I have suffered differing forms of depression including post natal and PTSD. I have been bankrupt, lost our home and still have financial difficulties now. I have a number of flash backs which could have been triggered by trauma.

However, in contrast, I have pulled my life up from its depths and defied my upbringing. I returned to education and became a teacher at one point. I got pregnant as a result of my promiscuousity and had a son whom I adored and told him I loved him every day. I had therapy both for sexual abuse and to recognise the neglect and other systematic abuse, and come to terms with it. I recently cut my sister out of my life (which feels great!) and I have surrounded myself with people whom I love, and genuinely reciprocate.

The saddest part is that my son tragically died aged 3, but due to the inner strength I have built over the years, I made sure his memory was regailed and I founded a charity as a living memorial to him and his creative talents.

My life is full of so many positives, that it by far outweighs the negatives. The abuse, and my grief will always be a part of me, but my experiences have shaped who I am today, and I will not be held prisoner by my memories.

Wow. Is this all true?

lavylilly:
From DM

Dear OP,

I think it's admirable that you care so much about her. Here are a few steps you can take that should help her:

1. Yesternight, there was a video that made frontpage here: How you can reshape trauma. Several women on the show shared stories of childhood trauma, parental issues, domestic/sexual violence and abandonment. It's a bit lengthy but worth watching. I'd advise you to watch it first in it's entirety on your own. Then watch it together with your fiancee, pausing to discuss those women's experiences. It might help you and her better understand where she's coming from using their stories as a reference.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjG7yR_k3wQ

2. Also, I'd advise you to reach out to the show's producers just like I did yesterday (on behalf of a close friend with similar childhood trauma). I was told they'll be having a psychologist on for the next instalment of the production series. Apparently, I wasn't the first to contact them yesterday. Seems several people also did reach out about their trauma issues. If your fiancee is interested, she might be able to join them for one of their sessions. That could be an inexpensive way if getting mental healthcare. She won't have to pay to be in the live session. However, they record live in Lagos State. That means of travelling into if you're outside Lagos like me.

Alternatively, If she has concerns about privacy like my friend does (since it's a show that airs), I was told they might be able to link people directly to a psychologist with specialty in trauma to discuss her ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). I guess you might have to pay for such a private session.

You can pull the email and other contact details from the links in the video description. I would have copied it here but I don't want to violate nairaland's rules about emails and phone numbers.

All the best to your fiancee. Things will definitely get better for both of you. Cheers

lavylilly:
From DM

Dear OP,

I think it's admirable that you care so much about her. Here are a few steps you can take that should help her:

1. Yesternight, there was a video that made frontpage here: How you can reshape trauma. Several women on the show shared stories of childhood trauma, parental issues, domestic/sexual violence and abandonment. It's a bit lengthy but worth watching. I'd advise you to watch it first in it's entirety on your own. Then watch it together with your fiancee, pausing to discuss those women's experiences. It might help you and her better understand where she's coming from using their stories as a reference.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjG7yR_k3wQ

2. Also, I'd advise you to reach out to the show's producers just like I did yesterday (on behalf of a close friend with similar childhood trauma). I was told they'll be having a psychologist on for the next instalment of the production series. Apparently, I wasn't the first to contact them yesterday. Seems several people also did reach out about their trauma issues. If your fiancee is interested, she might be able to join them for one of their sessions. That could be an inexpensive way if getting mental healthcare. She won't have to pay to be in the live session. However, they record live in Lagos State. That means of travelling into if you're outside Lagos like me.

Alternatively, If she has concerns about privacy like my friend does (since it's a show that airs), I was told they might be able to link people directly to a psychologist with specialty in trauma to discuss her ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). I guess you might have to pay for such a private session.

You can pull the email and other contact details from the links in the video description. I would have copied it here but I don't want to violate nairaland's rules about emails and phone numbers.

All the best to your fiancee. Things will definitely get better for both of you. Cheers

Hmmn

Hmmn

It really is

why are you selling?

this is a very lengthy read

funny people. make una no go find work

carolingian79:
When his lyrics felt like honey in your ears, we didn't hear he's broke but still wants to marry me, now that e don red for una, you have opened the book of lamentations. You have good men who are willing to do anything to be with you but they're all 'weaklings' because they're always saying the truth to you

una wicked for dis platform

Mindlog:
Why did the host not get a psychologist who has a specialty in trauma, to be there? Discussing ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) triggers and it tends to re-traumatize thus the reason, mental health professionals get involved. I watched and didn't get to see the trauma debrief process that should have come up.

In as much as it is a talk show, do research!

are you a psychologist?

Aaaaarghmed:
I dont have trauma ,but because my mum and dad did not allow us go out and make friends when we were little.i turned to a confam introvert,who can stay for 1 year without missing anyone or talking to anyone and I wont bother.

you were a "get inside babe".

all those girls that their mommy will come out and say, " get inside!"

Updated Cost of renting a 2 Bedroom Apartment in Lagos.

NOTE: Price varies from street, kind of houses in that axis

The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Lagos is ₦1,300,000 per annum. The most expensive flat/apartment costs ₦15,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦228,000 per annum.

You can rent an apartment in the location of your choice

Agbara-Igbesa| Agege| Ajah| Alimosho| Amuwo Odofin| Apapa| Ayobo| Badagry| Egbe| Ejigbo| Eko Atlantic City| Epe| Gbagada| Ibeju| Ibeju Lekki| Idimu| Ifako-Ijaiye| Iganmu| Ijaiye| Ijede| Ijesha | Ikeja| Ikorodu| Ikotun |Ikoyi| Ilashe |Ilupeju| Ipaja| Isheri |Isheri North| Isolo| Itire| Ketu| Kosofe| Lagos Island| Lekki| Magodo| Maryland| Mushin| Ogudu| Ojo| Ojodu| Ojota| Oke-Odo| Orile| Oshodi| Shomolu| Surulere| Victoria Island (VI)| Yaba

Ogudu
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Ogudu, Lagos is ₦1,200,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦1,800,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦700,000 per annum.

Isolo
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Isolo, Lagos is ₦900,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦1,500,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦6000,000 per annum.

Ikorodu
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Ikorodu, Lagos is ₦350,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦1,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦150,000 per annum.

Ikotun
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Ikotun, Lagos is ₦300,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦600,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦250,000 per annum.

Alimosho
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Alimosho, Lagos is ₦600,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦1,200,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦250,000 per annum

Ibeju Lekki
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Ibeju Lekki, Lagos is ₦639,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦1,860,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦300,000 per annum.

Ifako/Ijaiye
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Ifako-Ijaiye, Lagos is ₦550,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦1,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦300,000 per annum.

Eko Atlantic City
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Eko Atlantic City, Lagos is ₦18,500,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦22,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦15,000,000 per annum

Gbagada
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Gbagada, Lagos is ₦1,100,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦2,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦700,000 per annum.

Magodo
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Magodo, Lagos is ₦1,300,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦7,410,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦600,000 per annum.

Ikeja
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Ikeja, Lagos is ₦1,200,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦3,500,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦600,000 per annum.

Victoria Island
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Victoria Island (VI), Lagos is ₦3,500,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦15,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦1,200,000 per annum

Surulere
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Surulere, Lagos is ₦1,000,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦2,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦600,000 per annum.

Maryland
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Maryland, Lagos is ₦1,200,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦5,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦700,000 per annum

Agege
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Agege, Lagos is ₦550,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦1,160,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦280,000 per annum.

Festac
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Festac, Lagos is ₦1,200,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦3,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦800,000 per annum.

Lagos Island
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Lagos Island, Lagos is ₦1,850,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦2,500,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦400,000 per annum.

Lekki Phase 1
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Lekki, Lagos is ₦3,000,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦6,500,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦1,200,000 per annum.

Lekki Phase 2
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Lekki Phase 2, Lekki, Lagos is ₦2,000,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦5,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦900,000 per annum.

Ajah
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Ajah, Lagos is ₦1,000,000 per annum. The most expensive flat / apartment costs ₦2,000,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦400,000 per annum.

Yaba
The average price of 2 bedroom flats for rent in Yaba, Lagos is ₦1,200,000 per annum. The most expensive flat/apartment costs ₦2,300,000 per annum while the cheapest costs ₦414,000 per annum.

At this point, ive just realised that nobody cares