₦airaland Forum

Can the whole house see what PDP is turning our country into? we should all know the winner of that Election, Ekiti people of course, A.C.

Good product does not need much advertisement, come to Ogun and see billboards of our Govi, advertising rejected product. pls don't let them hear oooooo make dem no come meet me for house.

I share in the joy of Lagosians having somebody like BRF as their Governor. By HIS grace, I see him our President. Join me in saying Amennnnnnnnnnn!

Poster, call this number and tell him Tunde referred you to him, (Mr. J.K. 08060343503) the man will surely help you out.

Good thinking, good product

Siena,

I have this Hatch Back Avensis that is on the way from U.K. Do you have anybody who can do the conversion for me and how much. Pls get to me via zoomzu@live.com.

Read the story better here

We voted for the candidate of our choice but,

Things must have worsen in Ogun before that time, pls we need him now!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Lagosians,

Can we people of Ogun State borrow Gov. Fashola just for 3 months to come and help us lift the face of ogun State and safe us from Ogun politicians. The only things we hear in news (GTV & G Radio is teleguided/scripted news about government achievment that is not visible. If a blind man go to Lagos today, he would see the presence of Goverment, that is what we call governance. So many things are lacking in Ogun State. The only physible things are Stadia, Cars for Obas, Goverment officials and Judiciary, what effect does all these has on Ogun economy? Please, something must be done, Billboards everywhere advertising OGD, nothing in the news from the state own media houses, don't they see what is happening in Lagos State? How Yewa will take government leadership in 2011 is what they are running after now leaving what will affect common man that doesn't belong to any political party will benefit. Well! GFF is giving people plastic containers for fetching and washing clothes,

Nairalander, below is the mail (scam) sent my box this morning. The reason why I pasted it here is for you guys out there to be cautious of scam mails like this. 419 at the highest level. My people beware!!!!!! so that you don't fall victim.

Flag this messageYOU HAVE A PACKAGE WITH FEDEX !!!Saturday, 7 February, 2009 1:16 AM
From: "Fedex Courier Nigeria ltd" <berenyvill.info@live.com>Add sender to Contacts To: undisclosed-recipientsDear Customer !!!

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your Confirmed Package that is registered with us for
shipping to your residential location.We thought that the sender gave you our contact details and that
you would have contacted us by now. We would also let you know that a letter is also attached to your
package.However, we cannot quote its content to you via E-mail for privacy reasons.

We understand that the content of your package itself is a Bank Draft worth $800,000.00 USD, in
FedEx we do not ship money in CASH or in CHEQUES but in Bank Drafts only.

The package is registered with us for mailing by your colleague, and your colleague explained that
he is from the United States but he is in Nigeria for a three (3) month Surveying Project. for he is working
with a consulting firm in Nigeria West Africa. We are sending you this E-mail because your package is
been registered on a Special Order.

What you have to do now, is to contact our Delivery Department for the immediate dispatch of
your package to your residential address.

Note that as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your information, it will only take us one working day
(24 hours) for your package to arrive at its designated destination.For your information, the VAT & Shipping
charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid by your colleague before your package was registered.

Note that the payment that is made on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to certify that
the Bank Draft is not a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF) neither is it funds to sponsor Terrorism in your country.
This will help you avoid any form of query from the Monetary Authority of your country.

However, you will have to pay a sum of $105 US Dollars to the FedEx Delivery Department for the Security
Keeping Fee of the FedEx company as stated in our privacy terms & condition page. Also be informed that
your colleague wished to pay for the Security Keeping charges, but we do not accept such payments
considering the facts that all items & packages registered with us has a time limitation and we cannot
accept payment not knowing when you will be picking up the package or even respond to us. So we
cannot take the risk to have accepted such payment in case of any possible demur rage.

Kindly note that your colleague did not leave us with any further information.We hope that you send your
response to us as soon as possible because if you fail to respond until the expiry date of the foremost
package, we may refer the package to the British Commission for Welfare as the package those not have
a return address.

Kindly contact the delivery department (FedEx Delivery Post) with the details given below:

FedEx Delivery Post
Contact Person: Mr. David Moore
fedex.courierniger022@live.com
Phone Number : +234-805-344-828-9
+234-805-344-828-9

Kindly complete the below form and send it to the email address given above.

This is mandatory to reconfirm your Postal address and telephone numbers.

FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:

YOU ARE TO GET BACK TO US IMMEDIATELY, SO WE CAN ISSUE YOU DETAILS ON HOW YOU ARE
TO SEND THE MONEY FOR THE SECURITY KEEPING FEE OF $105 US DOLLARS.

Kindly complete the above form and submit it to the delivery manager on: fedex.courierniger022@live.com
As soon as your details are received, our delivery team will give you the necessary payment procedure so
that you can effect the payment for the Security Keeping Fees. As soon as they confirm your payment
receipt of $105 US Dollars.

They will not hesitate to dispatch your package as well as the attached letter to your residence. which
usually takes 24 hours being an over night delivery service.

Note: that we were not instructed to email you, but due to the high priority of your package we had to
inform you as your sender did not leave us with his phone number because he stated that he just arrived
Nigeria and he has not gotten a phone yet. We personally sealed your Bank

Draft and we found your email contact in the attached letter as the recipient of the foremost package.

Ensure to contact the delivery department with the email address given above and ensure to fill the above
form as well to enable a successful reconfirmation.

Yours Faithfully,
Mr James Wellington.
FedEx Online Team Management.
All rights reserved. © 1995-2009
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------
This E-mail is only for the above addressees. It may contain confidential or Privileged information.
If you are not an addressee you must not copy, distribute, disclose or use any of the information in
it or any attachments.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------
FEDEX INTL>>>LICENCE OF FEDERAL EXPRESS CO-OPERATION.

Please Nairalanders, how much does iphone cost in the market now

May the Almighty Allah grant him Aljannah

@dje,

Thanks a lot. I downloading it now.

Regards.

@dje,

Please what is spiceworks all about?

The Admin Gurus,

I am also a system Admin in my office, but presently my organisation is still under construct but what we use presently is just about 20 systems and one Linus Internet Server, 3 Access point and 2 Nano Station for WAN ( It provide internet to my Boss's house from the office about 5km away from the office) Though, maketing is my first degree buy while in school, I so much have passion for computer related tasks and it was after my NYSC that I went to NIIT for MCSE Training.

It is when I started working I realized that what is in the field is quite different from what is being taught in class. Now, I work with confidence when it comes to wireless networking but still want to learn cos I am the only I.T person in my organisation for now, I wish to work with people that knows more than I do. I hope this thread will last for ever.

Thank you all and God bless.

Do You Still Want

To Come To The UK?

Written by Yusuf Danesi

Dear Patriot, It is disheartening that Nigeria continues to be an enigma, in spite of the unrivalled exposure of its leaders. Why is the EFCC suddenly on the trail of Nasir El-Rufai? You bet nothing significant will result from the much orchestrated sleaze factor probe of the N2.3 billion vehicle contract, awarded by the management of the National Assembly. So that is how much it costs to provide Peugeot products to 84 standing committees of the National Assembly! Why that huge amount of committees? I do understand why you want to migrate- especially your love for your family. I am happy that you have all obtained your visas as you look forward to transfering your media skills here (UK). Work was not going the way it should in spite of your towering industry stature; so you have thrown in your retirement letter to everyone's shock; you have sold all you ever owned to be able to relocate with your family; in a nutshell, bridges have been burnt as you look forward to making UK your "New Home."



However, you need to prepare for a completely strange transition, which may either make or break you. You will practically go to 'school' on CV writing and before you eventually get it right it might take roughly three months- this is no exaggeration, as there are many critics out there. You will start pushing out your new CV, while it takes about 3,000 to get you one interview! You may have to push out about 30,000 copies to get 10 interviews and you probably need to attend 30 interviews to finally land a job! The truth is you may have to send out 900,000 applications before you get a job here! If you are wondering why this is so then consider the following statistics and facts: Royal Mail risks 50,000 jobs; Woolworths, which has 813 stores, collapsed in November and as a result, 25,000 jobs are likely to go; pound hits near low against Euro; manufacturing falls at record pace; service sector in record contraction; Britain slips down price rankings; Bank of England blamed for recession; unemployment has hit 1.8 million- the highest since 1998; UK debt rises to 1.5 trillion pounds, etc. Do not be shocked that your M.Sc degree means nothing to the employers here; worse still, your almost 20 years experience does not count! Most employers do not even know what HSMP (Highly Skilled Migrant Programme) means!



It is great that you are coming with your family of five, but you need not less than £13,000 (i.e. N3.25m) to survive the first six months of possible unemployment- and this is outside of London! You probably need close to double that amount if you all need to be in London. You may not be able to earn the mandatory £35,000 per annum required by the Home Office(if your visa is to be renewed in two years' time) if you do not work in London. And if your post code reads anywhere but London, your appications will all fire blank; meanwhile no employer will tell you the reason. If you have a relation or friend who lives in London and is willing to accommodate you temporarily, why not come alone for now? However, the danger in that is multi-faceted, e.g. who says you will find work in six months- even menial work? There is a recession here, which affects virtually every sector. You will be shocked to learn that the employment agency would rather call, and even in some cases, register somebody from the EU who cannot express him/herself clearly in English than give you, a master's degree holder a break. And the job in question? Factory operative! The wage is about £5.75 an hour before tax/NI deduction, etc. Do not forget that you need to be in the £24/25 per hour bracket to hit the HSMP £35k target. Relationships with your hosts will be strained in most cases; you will be running bills back home too since your wife is not an employee, etc.If you have the money, come with your family, stay with your host for not more than 72 hours, maximum, a week, but be prepared to contribute your quota to the upkeep of the home. You will be lucky if your hosts are not greedy because they have not set eyes ever on the kind of money you are coming with at a go, in their 20- something years in the UK!



That you have the money is no guarantee that you will immediately get a house of your own because you do not have a credit history. If you do not have a guarantor (and many potential ones are unwilling) then just pay six months rent upfront, though the checks that will still be undertaken may take between two and three weeks. Make sure your landlord in Nigeria can easily be reached by the referencing company, e.g. email, fax, land phone, mobile, etc. If you do not get a permanent job before the six months and your landlord wants to sell the property then you start the process all over, though your Nigerian landlord may not be contacted again. If your employment is temporary/contract, which is less than 6-12 months, you will need a guarantor. Do not be in a hurry to own a car because keeping it on the road is not a joke; more so your driving licence/experience, like your academic certificates/experience, is not recognised! You will have to start from scratch-learner, in spite of your 18 years accident-free driving experience on roads that are death traps in Nigeria! Do not even think of using your international driving licence because of the prohibitive insurance premium you will be paying on it. What baffles me, however, is the accident statistics here despite the very strict driving/traffic regulations: every morning my radio reports accidents on the A2, M25, etc and a lot of them fatal!



The bills never cease to come from utility companies whether you have a job or not! Your local council tax is even reviewed upwards and if you call to let them know you are not working, they ask if your wife is and if she is, your subsequent bills will come in her name! If you are impatient, the thousands of rejection letters you are going to receive on your applications will almost make you stop believing in yourself- you will think you are absolutely useless! An attempted foray into other unrelated survivalist professions like care work, etc may even return further rejection letters- but you are highly skilled! You will crave anything eventually because the bills are ticking away- lunch time play leader, mail sorter, support worker, etc. These are not highly skilled jobs yet they are not telling you why "your appliaction has been unsuccessful." Sometimes you are tempted to reply and abuse the conveyor of the bad news, whose grammar is even suspect. Also you will marvel at the arrogance of prospective employers who you played a gamble on, in view of a perceived better opportunity. It was you who declined their offer on the phone/face-to-face, yet you get their letter/email 24 hours after to say your application was "unsuccessful"! You pick up most newspapers here and it is obvious you could do a better editing job if given the chance, but you have sent more than 5,000 unsuccessful applications to be considered even for the post of assistant reporter! You will almost feel like quitting: your foreign degree is competing with theirs in this period of recession; thousands of their citizens are out of work on a daily basis and they would rather give them priority. Do not be frightened, do not despair. I understand that your christian faith is intact: that is a vital credential you will be needing here at this time. Be prepared because at a stage it will look like God does not even operate here!



The system here is like an automobile whose engine suddenly packed up- you cannot move the machine; the accelerator is useless; you cannot even talk about the brake system, the battery's run flat and out, every thing is immobilised, etc. The employment market here is just like that- highly impregnable! The standards appear to be out of this world- very high- but if you are lucky to get in at a level that is a bit compromising, you will discover that you are a genius! Those who are intelligent from Nigeria are simply intelligent and there is nothing any one can do about it. Everywhere you go- from viewing houses to discussing in a group, they will praise you for your flawless English. You will even deliberately use English words that they very much struggle with, yet they are just reluctant to give you that office job. Why must you do a low skilled job when your visa reads "Highly?" To worsen it, majority of your associates here will say, "just take



anything." Some will even suggest you go sweep the streets of London, while others will say it pays £50 an hour to clean the dead in the morgues! Do you know what is annoying about the whole issue? Africa is synonymous with Poverty, your degree, experience, etc are therefore viewed with disdain! People are shocked when you analyse issues, yet you have not been around for more than seven months! How can anything good come out of Africa? I do not know about engineering, IT, etc. If you are not already practising any of these (with a British professional membership) then it will be a matter of luck to break the jinx here- it is very tough for the arts here. You were given 24 months and by 10 months into your visa some prospective employers are already weary of even interviewing you, citing "company policy" as the reason (your visa is running out of steam). I can confirm to you that many Nigerians here are returning home in great numbers- are you surprised?



Hey, before you change your mind, refuse to see the negative as people are still getting great jobs here- yes, HSMP, arts. One recently almost posed with Gordon Brown at a 10 Downing Street, event! Her degree? American, and worked for an international NGO in Lagos. She is also writing a professional examination here. Even at that, it took her close to six months before that break! I hear you are thinking of writing exams in project management, ICT, etc- laudable! But you have to possess the right mindstate if you do not want to fail such exams. Do you still want to come to UK? Whatever decision you take will be most respected by me and my family. Unfortunately, I am still trying to find my feet too and may not be able to be of assistance other than the frank, naked and anlytical advice I have provided here. Above all, be propelled always by the thought of seeing your sacrifice for your family to the end; believe in God, who knows all things; surround yourself with positive and encouraging people; do not regret your decision- keep fighting. Weigh the options, take the ultimate decision and never look back afterwards. Danesi lives in the UK.

I just sent you a mail in respect of the Camry discussed with you on phone.

E waa woju Ole ni popo, eyin omode ile to nfewo. E waa woju ole ni gbangba, This guy na real Olosha.

Congoshine must be one of his touts, if not he won't be defending intorlerable OGD.

I visit Abeokuta often, people voted for him in 2003 because they were tired of Osoba but in 2007, his foot soldiers recruited by B?a O??e, O??won, T??i Oi with the help of thier God father rigged the election in his favour but see what he's doing to th man now?

Go round abeokuta and see the billboard mounted at NNPC Mega Station, Ibara Round about etc, the amount spent on those board to make OGD feel important could have been spent on something meaningfull i.e trafic contol mechanism at Ibara round about etc.

I will work on posting the photograhs of those bill boards and portion bad roads for nairalanders to see.

Congoshine, howmany time has your OGROMA repaired Abeokuta-Sagamu road since construction. Your Gov. is a billionnaire before he became Gov. When did he built his Sagamu GRA house? Ijebu Ode house to mention but few,
God will judge them all with thier government of the few by the few and for the few,

Thanks DaPhoenix,

I have taken it to Jokes section.

A married couple at the Zoo, walk past the gorilla
enclosure.

Says the woman: ' Mark, do you know that gorillas are
the only animals which resemble men in their
behaviour

Look around, if no one's looking, I'll expose one
of my breasts to it and see how Hot it gets just as
men do'.

Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough
the gorilla begins to get a hard-on and grabs the bars
of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.

'See - says the woman - 'Now I know why you react the
way you do, men can't control their animal instincts
just like gorillas can't'.

Says Mark : 'Now expose both breasts and let us see
what happens'.

The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it
gets very excited and is now desperately trying to
escape from the enclosure.

Says Mark : 'This is incredible, now pull your skirt
up, turn around and expose your bum to it and let us

see what will happen'!!!

The woman pulls her skirt up turns around with her bum
to the gorilla which by now, extremely aroused, breaks
free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts
yanking the clothes off her.

The woman yells: ' Mark, what do I do now? Please,
help me'!!!

Mark replies: 'Now give it one of the excuses that you
usually give me:

That you don't feel like it

That you have a headache

That you're tired

That your throat is aching

That it is still too early

That I must understand you as a woman

That you are depressed

That you are in one of those days

That you are having a very busy week

That all you need is just to cuddle up

That you're tensed up

That you have to wake up very early tomorrow

That you woke up very early today

That you walked for long and your feet are aching

That caresses and hugs is all that you want today

That you're so tensed up that all you want is a good
massage to make you relax

That you feel like watching TV

That you don't want to miss the soapies

That you're from the Hair salon and therefore you
can't move and spoil your hair

Go on, explain all that to the gorilla and if it
understands, if you can
persuade it, then I admit that mens' behaviours resemble that of gorillas and promise you that from today on I'll accept your excuses'!

To my dear men please send this to your lady friends
especially your wives and to my dear ladies please
learn from it, ok?

Till someone else impregnate her

A married couple at the Zoo, walk past the gorilla
enclosure.

Says the woman: ' Mark, do you know that gorillas are
the only animals which resemble men in their
behaviour

Look around, if no one's looking, I'll expose one
of my breasts to it and see how Hot it gets just as
men do'.

Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough
the gorilla begins to get a hard-on and grabs the bars
of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.

'See - says the woman - 'Now I know why you react the
way you do, men can't control their animal instincts
just like gorillas can't'.

Says Mark : 'Now expose both breasts and let us see
what happens'.

The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it
gets very excited and is now desperately trying to
escape from the enclosure.

Says Mark : 'This is incredible, now pull your skirt
up, turn around and expose your bum to it and let us

see what will happen'!!!

The woman pulls her skirt up turns around with her bum
to the gorilla which by now, extremely aroused, breaks
free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts
yanking the clothes off her.

The woman yells: ' Mark, what do I do now? Please,
help me'!!!

Mark replies: 'Now give it one of the excuses that you
usually give me:

That you don't feel like it

That you have a headache

That you're tired

That your throat is aching

That it is still too early

That I must understand you as a woman

That you are depressed

That you are in one of those days

That you are having a very busy week

That all you need is just to cuddle up

That you're tensed up

That you have to wake up very early tomorrow

That you woke up very early today

That you walked for long and your feet are aching

That caresses and hugs is all that you want today

That you're so tensed up that all you want is a good
massage to make you relax

That you feel like watching TV

That you don't wanna miss the soapies

That you're from the Hair salon and therefore you
can't move and spoil your hair

Go on, explain all that to the gorilla and if it
understands, if you can
persuade it, then I admit that mens' behaviours resemble that of gorillas and promise you that from today on I'll accept your excuses'!

To my dear men please send this to your lady friends
especially your wives and to my dear ladies please
learn from it, ok?

As for me, I date a girl at a time. I do try to have another girl but never work out. I just don't know why? and i have all it takes to do it but it has always been one at a time.

What I think the poster should do is to try and take his mind off that girl for now, focus on getting himself back on track though, it is not an easy thing to do but if by chance he's able to get back on track financially, another girl will come his way. Nothing satisfy girls apart from sexual pleasure you give them on bed. If not, why would Honourable wife sleeping with her mechanic!!!!!.

E emo re ara Adugbo. Ibo le tun ngbe oro yi lo. Another Arogundade R-A-T!!!! I did not say so ooooo. Before I receive my own pound of flesh from ,

OBAMA rawo ebe si OPC fun aabo-----Alaroye

I think MADrogundade should get this L-I-N-K and read people reaction to what his RATS maybe he would apologize and seek peoples forgiveness. Yoruba ni Ebo oso see ru, Ebo aje see ru sugbon ebo alaroka o see ru.

Personally, I made everybody in office read this thread even showed them the video.