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Efemena_xy:

Er...that remains for us to judge not you.

Now post your pic make we see.

If you saw it, you will land on my bed. I am not ready to impregnate you. I still want to enjoy my singledom and zero responsibility.

chaircover:

Ashe oo oo ti e le . . . . so you are a softie afterall.

Hmmmmmmmm I think saggy is in love oooooo!! .

When was the last time you called someone a cretin? its only love that makes people go soft like mushy peas

I just did in my last post.

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Yebariba samboribobo :O :O

chaircover:

Efe are you a witch ni? that was the film I sat and watched with an older cousin when our parents went out of town for an owambe party. The problem is I dared not tell then why I was too scared to sleep alone on my own bed. . . . . or more trouble You know that even as an adult, I have never been able to watch that film cos it brings back such traumatic memories

Reason why I chase my daughter out f the room at the start of Law and Order or NCIS where the murders occur

Noooooooooo nah! But it was easy to guess that must have been the film you were talking about.

No other film from that era beats the Exorcist. Omen I,II & III were okay, and so were those zombie movies too - but not as heavy as the exorcist.

Besides, it was fun watching it with my brothers and sisters, especially with us girls. Nothing like a good 'ol scream, us crying and hugging ourselves out of fright, I tell you

Sagamite:

If you saw it, you will land on my bed. I am not ready to impregnate you. I still want to enjoy my singledom and zero responsibility.

Na lie.

Now post the thing and stop being shy jor

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Efemena_xy:

Na lie.

Now post the thing and stop being shy jor

You are not ready, girl. Lets leave it at that.

Sagamite:

You are not ready, girl. Lets leave it at that.

Ode. We know what you look like and those who have met you have nothing good to say about you. They said you have all the appeal of a paper cut

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chaircover: Efe you forgot the Poltergeist

Nah, not watched it. Heard about it though.

I guess my horror moving watching days are over. I'm er...more responsible now.

OMG i love dis.my parents do dis but my mentors do more of dis

My upbringing was just like Jenny's, especially the contentment part.
One of my mom's pet peeves, was you doing something because other people are doing it. Or coveting somebody's property. Her favorite word was akpiliogologo.

My parents never corrected me with words like 'no man will marry you if you do this or that' unlike some parents I saw growing up.
My parents are more concerned about education and setting up a career for yourself. When one of my friends graduated, the family was asking her when is she bringing a husband? When I graduated my own parents were asking me when are you going to graduate school, what's the next step in your career? So it's not rocket science, when this my friend sees any guy, it means he's game for relationship.

But at the same time my mum made sure her girls must always act like a lady, and think before they talk. I hope some girls won't see this thread as a reason to start acting like a testosterone filled entity. You must always maintain your femininity.

..

This is where father's come in. The mum can teach her how to carry herself, cook and manners but cannot accurately build her self esteem. The father reinforcing and uplifting her self esteem works magic on girl children. You run less of a risk of having an emotional, clingy, needy, low self esteemed tragedy of a child. This is why it is important women look very well before they marry a guy. This is the father's role. And he can even only do this by example.I also think having an open relationship with the mother, praising her when she has done well, rewarding hardwork and telling her how beautiful she is will help too. - you may end up bringing up a hell of a woman, who is unbreakable by any guy, and fiercely independent though.

stillwater:
But at the same time my mum made sure her girls must always act like a lady, and think before they talk. I hope some girls won't see this thread as a reason to start acting like a testosterone filled entity. You must always maintain your femininity.

What happens the day you don't "think before you talk?"

What does femininity mean? What does it mean to be a woman? This notion is extremely relative so I would suggest that you thread carefully.

Lovely topic.

I will be the first one to probably say I can be very stubborn and that is why I know God is great, he looks at you and jejely gives you the partner that will suit you just fine. If you are a christian and you listen to God and is PATIENT, He will give you the flesh of your flesh, yes there will be trials and tribulations in your marriage but not the extreme ones I read on here at times.

However, training your children, the most important thing as far as I am concerned, after prayers and even more prayers that this children of ours listen when we teach them especially in this western world, is self-expression, let your daughter think and talk for herself. Any suggestion she brings, no matter how strange it is, always try to see her point of view, table it and discuss why it is not plausible, why we should do it this way instead of that way etc.

Never never shout her down based on any idea she has, if you do, she is going to grow less confident and less self-assured and start allowing people to think for her which is a big NO

Let her make decisions that might be minute to you but to her can be a big responsibility, things like where should we put that new kitchen table, should we take the car or the train, what should 'WE' cook tonight for the family and let's her decision be final. Nkan ti o ba so la be ge.

No matter how comfortable you are, also let her know the value of money

Again, I mention prayers again, pray together, don't do the let's dad pray every time, let her lead the morning/evening prayers at times, you learn a lot in that private moment when she is talking to God.

I am confident, God's willing that my children, Son(s) and daughter(s) will be just fine in the society. Amen. Also, any useless girl or boy that will make life difficult for my children, God should please start rewriting his/her story so they never meet Amin.

I watched this film 'Jejeloye' - very very funny yoruba film but that pretty much sums up how not to bring up your daughter

@CC and other mothers

Please Continue to encourage good rapport between daughter and father, it will come in handy one day cos if your kids are stuck in a relationship or have man problems, that relationship will then spring forth it's advantages. Let me share with you's what happened to me when I was in SS3.

I grew up in an estate as a kid, my parents still live there. There is this guy that died due to "asthma", if I remember correctly they said he had an Asthma attack that killed him. The whole estate was in mourning and a memorial service was held for him in the estate. No one knew where the family got him from but the pastor that officiated the whole service did such a good job at it that caused people to shed tears, everyone including the "big boys" cried non stop. Fast forward after the whole burial, the dead boys father brought this pastor to our house one day to introduce him to my dad and also did the same with a few men around the estate and from there he became a family friend BUT NOT OUR FAMILY PASTOR COS WE HAD ONE ALREADY AND NY DAD WOULD ALWAYS SAY THE ONE HE HAS IS ENOUGH FOR HIM. When he started coming to the house I noticed something was off with him and shared it with my eldest sister who encouraged me then to tell my parents how I felt but I didn't.

One day he came to the house and was at the backyard and asked to see me, went outside and he was like bla bla bla and tried to kiss me. I went Inside the house and told my dad who was reading his vanguard newspaper, told him what he tried to do and the speed at which he dropped the paper ad asked me "where is he?" I have never seen my old man so mad in my life and the rest they said its history, my mum head my dad hittin someone and shouting and she picked up a broom when she knew what was happening. I refused to tell my my First cos I knew she would scream the house down before she acted and the guy could fly the fence before anyone got to him.

My parents opened uP a communication channel especial dad and we had no issues goin to him and talking things out

Pls pardon my errors, I am mobile

^^ Lol! @ double attack from both your parents!!

This brings back so many memories! Back then, I never quite understood why my dad made male visitors to our home really, and I mean really uncomfortable.

He was sooooo protective of his girls, all 5 of us - as a teenager, it embarassed me eh! But now I understand why he acted that way.

You know, shortly after my NYSC orientation, I went back home for a couple of days 'cos I'd come down with malaria. Anyway, there was this guy I fancied at camp, and he mentioned he'll come over to my town to visit. I thought at that time he had no where to stay (Yes, yes, I know I was naive), so I invited him over to my parents home to spend the night.

Men, see whala. My dad practically hit the roof. I had to run to my usually strict mum for cover o! Anyway sha to cut a long story short, my dad didn't sleep in his room that night. He slept in the family sitting room upstairs, with both doors wide open, so he could have a clear view of my room and the guest room where the young lad slept!

jennykadry: @CC and other mothers

Please Continue to encourage good rapport between daughter and father, it will come in handy one day cos if your kids are stuck in a relationship or have man problems, that relationship will then spring forth it's advantages. Let me share with you's what happened to me when I was in SS3.

I grew up in an estate as a kid, my parents still live there. There is this guy that died due to "asthma", if I remember correctly they said he had an Asthma attack that killed him. The whole estate was in mourning and a memorial service was held for him in the estate. No one knew where the family got him from but the pastor that officiated the whole service did such a good job at it that caused people to shed tears, everyone including the "big boys" cried non stop. Fast forward after the whole burial, the dead boys father brought this pastor to our house one day to introduce him to my dad and also did the same with a few men around the estate and from there he became a family friend BUT NOT OUR FAMILY PASTOR COS WE HAD ONE ALREADY AND NY DAD WOULD ALWAYS SAY THE ONE HE HAS IS ENOUGH FOR HIM. When he started coming to the house I noticed something was off with him and shared it with my eldest sister who encouraged me then to tell my parents how I felt but I didn't.

One day he came to the house and was at the backyard and asked to see me, went outside and he was like bla bla bla and tried to kiss me. I went Inside the house and told my dad who was reading his vanguard newspaper, told him what he tried to do and the speed at which he dropped the paper ad asked me "where is he?" I have never seen my old man so mad in my life and the rest they said its history, my mum head my dad hittin someone and shouting and she picked up a broom when she knew what was happening. I refused to tell my my First cos I knew she would scream the house down before she acted and the guy could fly the fence before anyone got to him.

My parents opened uP a communication channel especial dad and we had no issues goin to him and talking things out

Pls pardon my errors, I am mobile

How old were you when this happened?

Efemena_xy: ^^ Lol! @ double attack from both your parents!!

This brings back so many memories! Back then, I never quite understood why my dad made male visitors to our home really, and I mean really uncomfortable.

He was sooooo protective of his girls, all 5 of us - as a teenager, it embarassed me eh! But now I understand why he acted that way.

You know, shortly after my NYSC orientation, I went back home for a couple of days 'cos I'd come down with malaria. Anyway, there was this guy I fancied at camp, and he mentioned he'll come over to my town to visit. I thought at that time he had no where to stay (Yes, yes, I know I was naive), so I invited him over to my parents home to spend the night.

Men, see whala. My dad practically hit the roof. I had to run to my usually strict mum for cover o! Anyway sha to cut a long story short, my dad didn't sleep in his room that night. He slept in the family sitting room upstairs, with both doors wide open, so he could have a clear view of my room and the guest room where the young lad slept!

lol

Great thread, I'm learning a lot!

CC, sounds like your family is doin a great job there cos that's exactly how I was raised. When my friends ask me why I'm so confident, it's hard to explain that it's as a result of my upbringing.

I'm self assured, not cocky and this is as a result of my relationship with my dad as a child. My parents are divorced now, but I'm grateful to him for doing that.

Parents pls don't stop building your daughter's confidence even when they're older. I went through a period of low self esteem when I was 13, and my parents helped me get out of that.

You should see those 2, always complimenting themselves for making gorgeous kids with the perfect bodies lol. When I got to that age, my dad didn't even want me to shave my legs, or tweeze my brows cos I was perfect and he didnt see the point lol.

I'm 21 now and I know I'm not perfect, but being called perfect helps.

@ sweetcocoa or whatever you call yourself,
This caught my mind racing in the OP's post.
i will like us a mums and dads to share tips on how we prepare our daughters for the [size=20pt]dating game/marriage[/size].
The reality of life is there for all to see but peps like you and the OP don't bother because of self esteem.Pls train your girls/boys the way you want because that is what you people do.Take a look at the Nigerian boys and girls in the age range of (10-20yrs)from North to South,East and West and tell me what you see?I will tell you.(A failed future for this country).Don't believe me,I don't give a damm(GEJ response).

Great thread. Sure glad to find it.And happy and relieved to see that some naija women are on thesame side with me on this issue. My daughter amongst her 3 brothers is definitely a princess and no silly person is going to tell her otherwise.

Efemena_xy:

Noooooooooo nah! But it was easy to guess that must have been the film you were talking about.

No other film from that era beats the Exorcist. Omen I,II & III were okay, and so were those zombie movies too - but not as heavy as the exorcist.

Besides, it was fun watching it with my brothers and sisters, especially with us girls. Nothing like a good 'ol scream, us crying and hugging ourselves out of fright, I tell you

Lol, even now memories of the exorcist gives me the jibbers and I will NOT allow any child of mine watch it ever!!! Twilight Zone was another baaad one. My 1st kid watched our own Nollywood ''Blood Money'and couldnt sleep in his room for weeks on end so I can imagine them watching The Exorcist... no way

enaye1: Great thread. Sure glad to find it.And happy and relieved to see that some naija women are on thesame side with me on this issue. My daughter amongst her 3 brothers is definitely a princess and no silly person is going to tell her otherwise.

Lol, even now memories of the exorcist gives me the jibbers and I will NOT allow any child of mine watch it ever!!! Twilight Zone was another baaad one. My 1st kid watched our own Nollywood ''Blood Money'and couldnt sleep in his room for weeks on end so I can imagine them watching The Exorcist... no way

My dear, ditto to that o!

Efemena_xy: ^^ Lol! @ double attack from both your parents!!

This brings back so many memories! Back then, I never quite understood why my dad made male visitors to our home really, and I mean really uncomfortable.

He was sooooo protective of his girls, all 5 of us - as a teenager, it embarassed me eh! But now I understand why he acted that way.

You know, shortly after my NYSC orientation, I went back home for a couple of days 'cos I'd come down with malaria. Anyway, there was this guy I fancied at camp, and he mentioned he'll come over to my town to visit. I thought at that time he had no where to stay (Yes, yes, I know I was naive), so I invited him over to my parents home to spend the night.

Men, see whala. My dad practically hit the roof. I had to run to my usually strict mum for cover o! Anyway sha to cut a long story short, my dad didn't sleep in his room that night. He slept in the family sitting room upstairs, with both doors wide open, so he could have a clear view of my room and the guest room where the young lad slept!

Wow!!!! mine was different though, had this guy in school he was NOT my boyfriend but was pimping my very close friend. This guy just told me jokingly that he was coming over to our house for christmas....and i was like "you!! come to my house, na beans?" and we just laughed over it.

Then 23rd of December, was home with everyone, we had a knock and i was the one that went to get the door, and as i opened the door and saw who was at the door, i started trembling...(Tokunbo, omo yankee with his American accent). Chei...all i was thinking about was "i don die today oooo"" "this guy has finally killed me"...then the aprokos' my dad and mum wondered what was taking me so long to usher whoever it was in, i saw them (my dad and mum) coming to peep and saw this tall boy/guy...trust my dad, he started asking questions, i immediately stepped in ooo and explained everything truthfully to my parents.....guess what? they allowed him to stay for a whole week, he celebrated the christmas with us, went out with my dad so many times, mummy had a pet name for him (tokay)....played with my younger sisters and did not want to even leave. (phew!!!!) My dad allowed him all because they (my mum and dad) knew when i was lying and when i was saying the truth, they knew and trusted that i was completely honest with them and that was a very rare behaviour they both possessed that i had never seen. After that, i just knew not to betray their trust.