I guess everyone who reads my threads wuld understand why im with dis new thread.Well, i've bin thinking lately about dis girl i really love, infact she was just back 4rm school recently n i was really attracted to her d more, than before, with d way i saw d whole thing on dat day, she was really happy seeing me again n my conclusion is she loves me n wants 2 b mine. My question now is dat ladies, is it a crime for a lady to reveal her love or likeness to a guy? As for me i like someone who is open minded.

No its not but when it comes to NIGERIAN men, u always claim that u are openeyed but u people aint.
You are still Nija to the core.

When a woman really opens her heart to yous, u usually run away so i probably wouldnt.

adeboo:

No its not but when it comes to NIGERIAN men, u always claim that u are openeyed but u people aint.
You are still Nigeria to the core.

When a woman really opens her heart to yous, u usually run away so i probably wouldnt.

I know, I wouldn't.

No, it is normal for woman to express her feeling for the person she love very much once she finds all the potentials she needs for her "future husband" DURING THE DATING PHASE as long as she is not type of DESPERATE, MATERITALIC, GOLD-DIGGER, POSSESSIVE/JEALOUSY, or CLINGY.

Be sure whether she is right for you at below characteristics before marriage:
[list]
[li]Trust[/li]
[li]Spirituality[/li]
[li]4 Characters[/li]
[list]
[li]Humility[/li]
[li]Kindness[/li]
[li]Responsibility[/li]
[li]Happiness[/li]
[/list]

[li]Personal Hygiene[/li]
[li]Communication Skill[/li]
[li]Personal Habits[/li]
[li]Strong Connections[/li]
[list]
[li]Good Chemistry and Compatibility[/li]
[li]Shared Common Interest[/li]
[li]Shared Common Life Goal[/li]
[li]Deeper Emotional[/li]
[li]Sexual Compatibility[/li]
[/list]
[/list]

ogrebuga:

I know, I wouldn't.

Well thats just u outta the billions of men - what about the rest.
I know what am sayin - its happened and always will.
Nija men are still Nija men to the core.

still waitin for a girl to toast me too
but naija girls too dey form

gimme dem jamaican girls, dem know how to treat a man

Guys will always be guys. No matter how open - minded he claims 2 be; show him much love and guy that said he's open minded will start taking u for granted; next thing he'll say is she's desperate. 1 thing i have discovered is that generally men are hunters; so for me I'll rather allow the guy do the toasting and hunting; afterall, from experience, i have realised that feelings are just that feelings- and they are subject 2 change!

Guys will always be guys. No matter how open - minded he claims 2 be; show him much love and guy that said he's open minded will start taking u for granted; next thing he'll say is she's desperate. 1 thing i have discovered is that generally men are hunters; so for me I'll rather allow the guy do the toasting and hunting; afterall, from experience, i have realised that feelings are just that feelings- and they are subject 2 change!

Who sayz it a Crime ?

Nope its not a crime but I guess it all boils down to the guy's reaction to it all. Personally, I like my girls being open & free with their feelings & emotions, to be able to tell me wats on their mind but to other guys this could bud up the wrong way!

Nope! there's no big deal in xpressin' ur feelings but wit a typical Nigerian Man (or an African Man) that smells trouble.

if not the Hypocrisy

of half the nigerians i

would have said its not a big deal

there is no big deal . it depends on understanding

@ Poster

I don't see anything wrong in girls expressing their feelings, I mean why should they hide it?

As 4 me,i won't 2 an extent,less d guy takes me 4 granted.
but 2 ma spouse,sure i'll since he's mine.

iice:

I guess its natural for some women to express their feelings when they are in love with their partner. Some men appreciate it, others get scared. . .

word!

Oh its terrible, Talkinh abt me, I might think she want something from me, May be she is abt to bill me for shopping or saloon, but is good to be truth anyway, but i advice some the ladies, if u wanna express ur feelings to your men, dont keep saying it all times.becos guyz will just use that chance to ask your hand in bed, IF YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME AS U ALWAYS SAY, WHY NT JOIN ME IN BED AND PROVE IT, be careful.

Its definitely not! Its a free world even though its seen as a taboo in our culture, but there's nothing wrong with it at alllllllllll

Look. Stop making dis tin look like it's a guy thing or girl thing. It's all the same. If a guy likes a girl and tells her, if she likes him, she'll 'gree (eventually); if she doesn't, she'll say no (nicely or otherwise, depending on her kind of person). Same for guys: If a girl likes me and tells me, if I don't want her, I'll let her down as nicely as I can; If I like her, omo, I'll jump at the offer! No story. Abi?

@poster, u knw i rili don't blame some gurls dat pretend,nigerian men hav dis mentality, if a gurl ask dem out or do some stuffs wit dem mayb on their 1st date, they believe such a gurl is cheap n that's how she does 2 many any guy she meets.i had a personal experience so i knw wot i am talkin about, i think for naija guys,it's beta 2 pretend 2 b a saint.trust me.

loveme:

@poster, u knw i rili don't blame some girls that pretend,nigerian men hav this mentality, if a girl ask them out or do some stuffs wit them mayb on their 1st date, they believe such a girl is cheap n that's how she does 2 many any guy she meets.i had a personal experience so i knw wot i am talkin about, i think for naija guys,it's beta 2 pretend 2 b a saint.trust me.

At the risk of sounding lazy, I'll say this. Any guy worth your while will go out of his way to protect a lady's pride in that kind of situation. Even if I don't want her, I'll let her down as nicely as I can. And believe me, if u pretend to be a saint, and I eventually "crack" you? Damn! Trust is out the window. For good.

And if I don't trust you, we aint going nowhere after the bed.

Does it really matters who expresses their feelings first? It's just that our Nigerian bobos
allows their personal feeling destroy their sense of reasoning.
As long as the feeling is genuine and both parties wants it, whats the big deal?
It's just that It hurts so much when a girl lets down her pride by going all the way to show she cares and end up being made a big fool.

I belief everyone plays the fool sometimes and there is no exception.

4 me the fear being rejected won't allow me take such step.

Pretty impressed by replies from the ladies.
Well, as far as i know, I you feel something, say something. if not because we guys are almost naturally selfish, I wouldn't have found any problem the ladies expressing their feelings. But how many guys will say they are not interested? Extremely few. infact, we'll begin to see ourselves as some 'DON JUAN' . I think its not psychologically appropriate for the lady to go down to earth to express her feelings. You're only forcing interest out of him, and the consequences are unhealthy.
A guy with good perception will know if a lady is interested in him, sometimes even from day 1. But give her time. it could be mere infactuation. I once met a young beautiful lady some five years ago, and it wasn't untill a few weeks ago we got a bit close(no extras!), and she told me she had liked me from day 1! It was incredible, because I hadn't the slightest idea she had any feelings for me back then.

Unfortunately i can't go back to her because I've already found the love of my life. Such is Life

I need to hear from more ladies.

Also please tell us how you'll feel if the guy you expressed your feelings to starts forming for you, embarasses you or even plays hard to get. I'm dying to know.

@ poster

it is not a crime, but sometimes a crime!

when u express ur feelings 2 guy u love, he will be relaxed knowing that the babe is in love with him, he start misbehaving.

this is where my problem lies because,i can't love u and hide my feelings. i want 2 repent but i don't just know how 2 go about it. i have this thing they call TOO MUCH LOVE.

how do i handle myself? perharps i want 2 learn and know.ideas are welcome.
thanks.

I think it's great when girls tell how they really feel. Some men are scared of committment, and a girl getting too close may scare them off. Still, it's best the girl knows exactly what he's like, so maybe it's a good thing to be more forthcoming.

Committment doesn't scare me, and I like to know where I stand, at all times.

@ Adeboo: Sorry to hear about your experiences, but remember, not all men are like that, so continue to be you, and always say what you feel!

Is not a bad thing foe a girl to express the way she feels, but nigerians abuse it, any girl that opens up, is either she is loose or a LovePeddler, the time nigerians learn to treat their women wit respect and know that they are equal maybe they will come all out to do dat

@ufobabe,
dont think you have a problem,you probably just have to be little more patient before expressing yourself but please by all means,express yourself!
And for the rest of you ladies,you can't walk on water unless you get out of the boat!So,,

Theoretically it's not but in reality, in present Nigeria as at today the 11th of Jan 2008, girl u're on your own if u try it.

lamidebaby:

Theoretically it's not but in reality, in present Nigeria as at today the 11th of Jan 2008, girl u're on your own if u try it.

true talk.

@topic

It's not a crime. it's a crime when men disregard this form of openness and use it as a ruse to fumble. Guys have this thing about gals being too complicated. Guys are very notorious at reading the wrong thing into a situation.

i am not going to diss the guys alone gals are to blame sometimes for this kind of situation. The way a girl would say some certain things could put the guy off totally even if it's meant to be a compliment.

bottom line:

Guys if you don't understand or need some sort of help speak to your girls because doing the thinking on your own could be disastrous. speaking to your friends about it will help no one. speak to the person who said it first.

Girls, before you decide to express your feelings; compose yourself. if you need to rehearse it rehearse it! if you think a neutral place will help drive the subject home . . .  pick one.