Peeps please give your opinion on this
chioma is our good family friend back then in lagos. She called me this morning telling me her wicked ex (ken) is back. I knew what ken did to her and how she suffered alone. Her son chidubem is 3yrs old.
KEN accompanied with a woman to be his mother, came to their house this morning. 4yrs ago he denied the pregnancy and left her to go through the disgrace. She called and begged him to at least finance her anti-natal, but he didn't.
She had to pick great courage before to tell her parents. At a point in her life she reasoned committing suicide.
The years has gone by,3 years to be precise, Chidubem has grown to be the pride of everyone in her family,intelligent and very handsome. She had forgotten and deleted everything about ken,now he is back kneeling and begging for forgiveness,he said he wants the son and chioma back.

Her father refused and said even if she agree going back,that chidubem is now his son. She has been crying since.
She doesn't love ken again and right now she is confuse. She has 3persons that are asking her for marriage, she doesn't trust any. She wanted to be a single parent before ken showed up.

"plz I need your opinion. Her name is chioma, 22yrs and about gaining admission. Very close family friend. I knew when all this happened but I was shocked when I heard he came this morning. Candid opinion please. Tnks"

Super1759: Peeps please give your opinion on this
chioma is our good family friend back then in lagos. She called me this morning telling me her wicked ex (ken) is back. I knew what ken did to her and how she suffered alone. Her son chidubem is 3yrs old.
KEN accompanied with a woman to be his mother, came to their house this morning. 4yrs ago he denied the pregnancy and left her to go through the disgrace. She called and begged him to at least finance[b] my[/b] anti-natal, but he didn't.
She had to pick great courage before to tell her parents. At a point in her life she reasoned commiting suicide.
The years has gone by,3 years to be precise, Chidubem has grown to be the pride of everyone in my family,intelligent and very hansome. She had forgotten and deleted everything about ken,now he is back kneeling and begging for forgiveness,he said he wants the son and me back.

My father refused and said even if I agree going back,that chidubem is now his son. She has been crying since.
She doesn't love ken again and right now she is confuse. She has 3persons that are asking her for marriage, she doesn't trust any. She wanted to be a single parent before ken showed up.

plz I need your opinion. Her name is chioma, 22yrs and about gaining admission. Very close family friend. I knew when all this happened but I was shocked when I heard he came this morning. Candid opinion please. Tnks

FIRST of all , the above in bold clearly shows us all that the person in question is YOU.....there is nothing to be ashamed of and therefore lets believe YOU are Chioma.

SECOND the fact that Ken did all this bad stuff to you is NOT a reason to deny him visits to his child. everyone makes mistakes and everyone can get a second chance, just dont believe everything he says and instead study him, and let him come around to VISIT first, and maybe after a few months, if he really showed that he meant what he says, he can have the child on his own supervision. this is ONLY for him to have a r/ship with his son, NOT YOU!!!!!

THIRD as much as Ken should have a part in your son's life, i see ABSOLUTELY NO REASON why he should be part of yours. the fact that he wants you back or not should be irrelevant since you clearly dont want/love him back (or do you?!)

FOURTH if you are now confused, and talking about this 3 BS suitors that you dont want any longer, then it means you are actually considering going back to Ken (without even knowing if he has changed or not)......meaning that you didnt learn anything from your past experiences.

LAST but not least, as much as your father believes the child is his, Ken will always be the child's father (wheteher he likes it or not), and therefore he should let Ken do his duty as it is never too late to get a second chance.

22year old lady wants to be a single parent? ?

Then be prepared for another man's pregnancy when you get to school.

MRbrownJAY:

FIRST of all , the above in bold clearly shows us all that the person in question is YOU.....there is nothing to be ashamed of and therefore lets believe YOU are Chioma.

No you are wrong, poster is a graduate, as against the post. look @ this

https://www.nairaland.com/935123/nysc-members-threatens-strike-nation

I love the Concept of this story...!!
I support @MRBrownJay on this. Do exactly what he said!!

MRbrownJAY:

FIRST of all , the above in bold clearly shows us all that the person in question is YOU.....there is nothing to be ashamed of and therefore lets believe YOU are Chioma.

SECOND the fact that Ken did all this bad stuff to you is NOT a reason to deny him visits to his child. everyone makes mistakes and everyone can get a second chance, just dont believe everything he says and instead study him, and let him come around to VISIT first, and maybe after a few months, if he really showed that he meant what he says, he can have the child on his own supervision. this is ONLY for him to have a r/ship with his son, NOT YOU!!!!!

THIRD as much as Ken should have a part in your son's life, i see ABSOLUTELY NO REASON why he should be part of yours. the fact that he wants you back or not should be irrelevant since you clearly dont want/love him back (or do you?!)

FOURTH if you are now confused, and talking about this 3 BS suitors that you dont want any longer, then it means you are actually considering going back to Ken (without even knowing if he has changed or not)......meaning that you didnt learn anything from your past experiences.

LAST but not least, as much as your father believes the child is his, Ken will always be the child's father (wheteher he likes it or not), and therefore he should let Ken do his duty as it is never too late to get a second chance.

Thnks for this.I just told her to read up comments in nairaland. Abeg its nt me. I am a guy,nt a lady. Few people know me but I don't visit romance section a lot. Tnks acidosis for that clearification.

Super1759:
Thnks for this.I just told her to read up comments in nairaland. Abeg its nt me. I am a guy,nt a lady. Few people know me but I don't visit romance section a lot. Tnks acidosis for that clearification.

ok then care to tell us why you wrote the bolded part i mentioned, it does not make much sense.

I agree with MrBrownJay here.
A father should be able to get in touch with his son, but have him visiting at first to get to know the boy. They boy have no idea this is is father, and they need to build a relation before being left alone.

As for the woman, and marriage..dont marry anyone just to get married. Be alone. Do what is best for your heart and soul, and for your boy. He will be happy if his parents are happy, no matter if they are it together or apart. Dont go back to a man that was not good for you unless you SEE the change, and you feel love for him.

Give it time. Both of the things need time.

MRbrownJAY:

ok then care to tell us why you wrote the bolded part i mentioned, it does not make much sense.

oga, I don't understand what you mean. I am nt chioma. She is a family friend and I didn't do wrong asking for your help and telling you about this. Go through my profile. I am a guy, biko. Tnks for your comments. Everything I wrote her is true and it happened. Its well taken.

I can forgive anybody becos no one is perfect. But op I can never go back to such a wicked man even if you are not seeing husband, tufiakwa. He was so mean to deny the pregnancy and left u in the middle only to come back after live must have thought him some serious lessons. Gush! Whatever u want to do with the pikin do but don't go back. Look among those coming, anyone deserving among them.

In addiction to what mrbrown said, i think she should focus on school since u said she is about to gain admission and suspend the issue of marriage now.

Super1759: oga, I don't understand what you mean. I am nt chioma. She is a family friend and I didn't do wrong asking for your help and telling you about this. Go through my profile. I am a guy, biko. Tnks for your comments. Everything I wrote her is true and it happened. Its well taken.

pls dont get me wrong, i suggest you read your first post AGAIN, then focus on what i've highlighted to understand what i am trying to tell you.

MRbrownJAY:

pls dont get me wrong, i suggest you read your first post AGAIN, then focus on what i've highlighted to understand what i am trying to tell you.

I have seen it, the last paragraph is an appeal by me(myself) to my NL friends to give suggestions. You can seee the paragraph. Maybe the write-up had typographical errors. Tnks bro

Super1759: I have seen it, the last paragraph is the appeal I (myself) is making to my NL friends to give opinion. You can seee the paragraph. Maybe the writeup had errors. Tnks bro

then why did you start by writing:

Super1759:
chioma is our good family friend back then in lagos. She called me this morning telling me her wicked ex (ken) is back. I knew what ken did to her and how she suffered alone. Her son chidubem is 3yrs old.
KEN accompanied with a woman to be his mother, came to their house this morning. 4yrs ago he denied the pregnancy and left her to go through the disgrace. She called and begged him....... bla bla bla

but then you wrote:

.....to at least finance my anti-natal, but he didn't.
She had to pick great courage before to tell her parents. At a point in her life she reasoned commiting suicide.
The years has gone by,3 years to be precise, Chidubem has grown to be the pride of everyone in my family,intelligent and very hansome. She had forgotten and deleted everything about ken,now he is back kneeling and begging for forgiveness,he said he wants the son and me back.

Her father refused and said even if she I agree going back,that chidubem is now his son. She has been crying since.
She doesn't love ken again and right now she is confuse. She has 3persons that are asking her for marriage, she doesn't trust any. She wanted to be a single parent before ken showed up.

you even quickly changed the I into SHE...lol....it just looked to me like you got ahead of yourself and forgot that you said you were someone else, lol!

The op is typing a script s/he was given, as usually happens on nl.

Anyway, the child is only three years old- much too young for all this drama. Three years isnt a long time in this context. They havent sorted out their issues yet and neither did the pister provide any explanation for ken- is he finding it difficult to marry, have a child, etc.


Did the babalawo or seer tell him to look for them, etc.


Add the rest nah.

She's 22 with plans of going back to school. My advice is that she should just focus on that and forget about the suitors for now. If Ken can be patient enough to wait for her then she should just consider him so as to avoid giving birth to different fathers.

MRbrownJAY:

then why did you start by writing:


but then you wrote:



you even quickly changed the I into SHE...lol....it just looked to me like you got ahead of yourself and forgot that you said you were someone else, lol!

sometimes people tend tome after irrelevant things. i remember my last post, i told you it could be a typographical error. yes i am reporting a case, soliciting for help which didn't edit well. to clear your suspicious mind. the same story was sent to relation programs and matters of the heart, which i just thought of sharing with my good people of NL. i had to just edit it. so what am i gona gain from this if am putting up false news or hiding things. stop derailing this post mr.Man. believe me you are not helping matters with this, am trying to help someone who is even reading this now and dont nail me cos of typographical errors. i have heard you mr. smart!!!!

Them don come again.

MRbrownJAY:



SECOND the fact that Ken did all this bad stuff to you is NOT a reason to deny him visits to his child. everyone makes mistakes and everyone can get a second chance, just dont believe everything he says and instead study him, and let him come around to VISIT first, and maybe after a few months, if he really showed that he meant what he says, he can have the child on his own supervision. this is ONLY for him to have a r/ship with his son, NOT YOU!!!!!

i agree with what you wrote MRbrownJay but seriously i dont agree with the above. yes she has to afford the guy a chance to see his "son" but this is Nigeria if the guy decides to run with the kid that would be it. They would never find him if he gets out of town with the child. If he sees the child, the family should not let him out of their sight.

Super1759

Am also confused here

Maybe you & chioma should come & have kids 4 Me

Being a sperm donor dosnt mk u d father of a child_fatherhood comes with responsiblity.A child u once rejectd,can neva be ur own.Am ok with d family's stands as to them being d father of d boy and nt d run-away-ex,yes, he shud be forgiven bt shudnt be given dat fatherhood right.I hv seen cases wher court orders are used to enforce compliance.As 4 chioma,she shud get over her past and give others the opportunity to mk her smile,she cant remain in that state forever,she deserves d best,all she nid is extra caution,atlest nt to repeat d same mistake again,her encounter with ken dosnt mean evr guy out dia is ken.As 4 marriage,she shud kp it low,cos combining sch with marriage isnt an easy task,she can kip d relatnshp til she knws she can handle marriage

^^^^ it is sad that you believe that a man that makes ONE mistake, cannot get a second chance. what about forgiveness? think about the CHILD first, before saying what you are saying. dont you think that finally having a "responsible" father at 3yrs old, is better for the child than having NONE (expect from wannabes) your whole life? the child has only one biological father, and no matter how much everyone else did the father's job (so far), his biological father will ever remain his father....and people should give him the chance to redeem himself and do his duties. nobody has the right to take away his fatherhood rights, not even the mother (unless he does something "really wrong".

emotions have to be put aside, and the CHILD should be the most important person to think about. not grandad, nor anyone else who think they are more "father" to that kid than his biological father.

omega25red: i agree with what you wrote MRbrownJay but seriously i dont agree with the above. yes she has to afford the guy a chance to see his "son" but this is Nigeria if the guy decides to run with the kid that would be it. They would never find him if he gets out of town with the child. If he sees the child, the family should not let him out of their sight.

at first yes, but after a while, i dont think it will be possible, and they will have to trust him in some ways...... unless they want to do this for the next 10yrs, lol!

The child is just 3.

The only reason why i'd say MAYBE she should consider the man's request is if neither of them is seeing anyone else.

Also, if too much drama is attached to their being together, then it's better to stop exposing the child to such.


Is the man asking for marriage? Need to reread the original post.


Anyway, all the above is just my opinion sha. Not set in stone.

Ok, i just reread the op.

They were never married to begin with, so i personally wouldnt consider his request, given his initial rejection of the pregnancy for whatever reason.

I dont think he'll have fatherly feelings towards the boy, or feelings towards the mother.

Of course i could be wrong.
And if her dad is opposed to the union, given the circumstances, maybe she needs to listen to him.

Men tend to read themselves accurately most times.

If anyone has any happy ending story to the contrary, then lets hear it.

First of all, Ken should backdate all the child support he has missed to date and is he now willing to financially support his son, Chidubem?

Chioma should really, at the moment, focus on her education. If she and Ken are meant to be ........... (shrug).