Tell your friend to just simply forgive and forget whatever his wife might have done to him during their youthful period. What normally cause such acts is that the woman in context might have cheated on their love because she was a beautiful young girl but the young man remained steadfast. Now the fall-out of the past acts has started hunt the girl un-knowingly. The woman might have fallen deep in love with this man because he is the one who ignored the fact that the woman was cheating on him. Right now, in his mind, he will always reflect back and the anger of imagining his woman around another man`s arm pinches deep down his heart. If you can get across to your friend`s wife, let her make a way to beg your friend and asssure him what ever that went on in the past was a mistake of youthful exuberance. Maybe the man will forget the past and start living the present and focusing on the future. The act is just normal that is why I ask the youths especially the young female folks to be carefull on how they handle datings- Money, Beauty, and whatever influence you have over your patner, if not handled with care, might definitely destroy future value if not forever. But mercy abound above all our past mistakes.

May God help us. Simple

Until Gals stop the habit of sleeping with men that are not their husband that is when all dis would stop.
It is becos the guy is sleeping with some else that is y he has found his wife UN-attractive. If he had no choice, am sure he would work on his marriage.
Gals should learn to keep their virginity then men would surely stay in their marriage.
Gals always give men another option

wife is beautiful + you love your children + wife even initiates s_e.x. all these should make a man attracted to a wife. My thinking therefore is that there are things he get outside that he cannot request from his wife e.g d_oggyStyle,B_j.obs or two or more girls at at time or some other stupid things.
Also,sleeping around with girls before marriage spoils a lot. you get used to not being satisfied with one person. Solution, Read God's Word - The Holy Bible Daily. A relationship with God will help.

Just passing by, cos this stuff make me sick.
Gosh, were you force into it?
Am 23years of age but seeing this kinda people on earth made me wanna look behind and hisss!
Ok recommendation:
Do he really love her in the first place?
What turns the love off?
Is it because of sex they both agreed to get married?
Or kids?
One simple magic. Tell yhaw friend, HE SHOULD CARRY HIS WIFE OUT FOR DINNER EVERY WEEKEND or VACATION ALONE KIDS EXCLUDED or finally TELL YHAW FRIEND HE SHOULD WRITE THOSE THINGS HE LOVES MOST IN HER.
Marriage is not all bout sex friends, will get it all wrong. Where is the passion, see in order to have a successful marriage life stay away from all this sedutive Guys and Gals. Period.

He's a very stup*d guy. He didn't count the cost before dabbling into marriage. As far as i'm concerned, he needs to grow up.

mekaboy: [b] EVEN THOUGH THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE SCRIPT U POSTED HERE BUT FOR REAL THIS WHAT.MOST MARRIED MEN FACE TODAY.

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, I WOULD ADVICE UR FRIEND NOT TO CHEAT ON.HER INSTEAD TALK THINGS OVER WITH HER AND MARRY A SECOND WIFE IF HE CAN AFFORD IT.

I WAS SITTING SOMEWHERE YESTERDAY WHEN A MAN WITH HIS WIFE AND THREE KIDS CAME IN. I NOTICED THAT THE MAN AND WOMEN GAVE ALL THE ATTENTION TO THEIR KIDS AND NOT THEMSELVES. I JST KNEW ITS THE KIDA THAT ARE KEEPING THEM TOGETHER.

THEN I ASKED MYSELF. IF I GET MARRIED AND IT GETS.TO THIS LEVEL, WILL I JUST REMAIN FAITHFUL AND BE IN BONDAGE OR DO I DO SOMETHING NEW LIKE TAKE A NEW WIFE AND REVIVE MY SEX AND LOVE LIFE?

I HAVE HEARD ALL THAT.CRAP ABOUT REKINDLE YOUR LOVE. I MEAN IF I HAVE ONE SHOE THAT I WEAR ALWAYS AND I POLISH IT AND IT SHINING . DOES THAT MAKE IT NEW? IN MY MIND ITS THE SAME SHOE.

THE ONLY WAY I CAN REKINDLE MY LOVE FOR THAT SHOE IS IF.I BUY.ANOTHER ONE AND STOP WEARING THE.OLD ONE FOR A WHILE, WHEN NEXT I WEAR THE OLD ONE IT WILL FEEL NEW[/b]

So, howmany shoes did your father buy after he got fed up with your mama shoe? And did your mama shoes get a chance to buy her some nice new shoes too. Abi you feel say one prick alone nor dey tire women too.
Na wa for some youths sha, WOMAN same value as SHOE. Ok nau, when your second shoe tire you me get some okrika shoes for you. You are allowed to buy more than 3 pairs at once since na money dey shark you wey make you fit afford plenty shoes.

tissot84: Until Gals stop the habit of sleeping with men that are not their husband that is when all dis would stop.
It is becos the guy is sleeping with some else that is y he has found his wife UN-attractive. If he had no choice, am sure he would work on his marriage.
Gals should learn to keep their virginity then men would surely stay in their marriage.
Gals always give men another option

True word.

he needs serious prayer cus if he call it quit wit his wife and go for sum1 else the same thing is likely gonna repeat itself with that one too after some years, so serious prayer is needed here.

@ op, your friend should look back and think of how he loved his wife, was it for sex or love?

Also, during their dating relationship, did they date for long,maybe 10 months to 2years? Or they dated for 6 months before they got married? Little or no dating relationship can spoil a marriage quickly.

Now that your friend is tired with the marriage thing, I strongly suggest you advice him on re-packaging the marriage relationship by bringing back the old times into play. Probably, they can travel for a 3 day trip to a neighbouring state, the wife should endeavour to do the things he liked when they were dating back then.- if d wife was wearing jeans, she should wear jean. Let them bring back old memories of their date relationships.

BT COM 2 FINK OF IT, HW OLD IS DIS DUDE?
ACTING OUT LYK A TEENAGE BOI....... HIM FINK SAY MARRIAGE NA BEANS?

mhen! marriage itself as sweet as it sounds is scary!

Don Tim: mhen! marriage itself as sweet as it sounds is scary!

WALAHI....

Omo Alata:

They both need prayers. Seriously.

For fucccking?

If he no longer love her then let him quit,
that will be better for both of them because
i believe that the woman will be dying in silence
by now. The woman must have been enduring the marriage just
like typical African woman, so she too is not enjoying her marriage
rather she is suffering and smiling all in the name of marriage.

cap28: most nigerians do not marry people who they have anything in common with, the majority of nigerian men go for women based on how docile they are as they are terrified of women who stand up for themselves and refuse to be treated like crap. this one probably married his wife using the same criteria only to wake up 3 years later and realise that he might as well be living with a maid. Your wife should be your best friend and lover rolled into one so that when the romance starts to wear off you still have a great friend who you have similar things in common with to enjoy your life with. all i can say is that he has made his bed therefore he will have to lie in it, of course that means that he will spend the rest of the marriage cheating on the poor woman and make her life extremely miserable. the divorce laws in nigeria need to be amended so that a man is forced to provide for an ex wife, i think that will reduce the number of dead end marriages that occur in nigeria because if a man knows that if his wife leaves him and he still has to provide for her and any children they have after the marriage has ended he will look well before embarking on a marriage with a woman he isnt sure of.

WELL SAID! TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU, OUR LAW ON MARRIAGE AND DIVOURCE IS LONG OVERDUE FOR AN OVER HAUL. MOST PEOPLE WOULD TRUELY THINK TWICE BEFORE SETTLING FOR DIVOURCE AS IF TO SAY ITS THE EASY ROUTE OUT.

mekaboy: [b] EVEN THOUGH THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE SCRIPT U POSTED HERE BUT FOR REAL THIS WHAT.MOST MARRIED MEN FACE TODAY.

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, I WOULD ADVICE UR FRIEND NOT TO CHEAT ON.HER INSTEAD TALK THINGS OVER WITH HER AND MARRY A SECOND WIFE IF HE CAN AFFORD IT.

I WAS SITTING SOMEWHERE YESTERDAY WHEN A MAN WITH HIS WIFE AND THREE KIDS CAME IN. I NOTICED THAT THE MAN AND WOMEN GAVE ALL THE ATTENTION TO THEIR KIDS AND NOT THEMSELVES. I JST KNEW ITS THE KIDA THAT ARE KEEPING THEM TOGETHER.

THEN I ASKED MYSELF. IF I GET MARRIED AND IT GETS.TO THIS LEVEL, WILL I JUST REMAIN FAITHFUL AND BE IN BONDAGE OR DO I DO SOMETHING NEW LIKE TAKE A NEW WIFE AND REVIVE MY SEX AND LOVE LIFE?

I HAVE HEARD ALL THAT.CRAP ABOUT REKINDLE YOUR LOVE. I MEAN IF I HAVE ONE SHOE THAT I WEAR ALWAYS AND I POLISH IT AND IT SHINING . DOES THAT MAKE IT NEW? IN MY MIND ITS THE SAME SHOE.

THE ONLY WAY I CAN REKINDLE MY LOVE FOR THAT SHOE IS IF.I BUY.ANOTHER ONE AND STOP WEARING THE.OLD ONE FOR A WHILE, WHEN NEXT I WEAR THE OLD ONE IT WILL FEEL NEW[/b]

and what happens when the new shoe (second wife) becomes old?

berem: I don't think the guy was prepared for marriage in the first place! He needs to be told that marriage is for better for worse till death do you part. Someone needs to talk sense into him (marriage counsellor) before he makes the biggest mistake of his life.I don't know why some men are so heartless! He has a wonderful wife who still loves him and takes good care of him,still yet he prefers to look outside to fulfil his lustful desires.how can his wife beg of sexxx when he knows its his marital obligation to do so? Damn! This is pure wickedness I must say.

You are jumping the gun, if I may say so Dear. This is a real life situation that happens in many many marriages. It is not a decision made by the husband (in this case). I agree that he should see a marriage counsellor but I do sympathise, not only with his wife but with him too. There is so much ignorance on this topic when I look at postings so far.

.

claremont: This is the reason why we say marriage is not for everyone, there are some people who are perfectly happy in a long-term relationship. The mere thought of sleeping and living with the same person for the rest of my life is scary. Boredom is bound to set in.

But u were never bored living wit ur parents and siblings (the same set of people) for how many years? Better remain scared and keep on living with ur parents okay, wen u get old, remember to tell us about ur regrets

mekaboy: [b] EVEN THOUGH THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE SCRIPT U POSTED HERE BUT FOR REAL THIS WHAT.MOST MARRIED MEN FACE TODAY.

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, I WOULD ADVICE UR FRIEND NOT TO CHEAT ON.HER INSTEAD TALK THINGS OVER WITH HER AND MARRY A SECOND WIFE IF HE CAN AFFORD IT.

I WAS SITTING SOMEWHERE YESTERDAY WHEN A MAN WITH HIS WIFE AND THREE KIDS CAME IN. I NOTICED THAT THE MAN AND WOMEN GAVE ALL THE ATTENTION TO THEIR KIDS AND NOT THEMSELVES. I JST KNEW ITS THE KIDA THAT ARE KEEPING THEM TOGETHER.

THEN I ASKED MYSELF. IF I GET MARRIED AND IT GETS.TO THIS LEVEL, WILL I JUST REMAIN FAITHFUL AND BE IN BONDAGE OR DO I DO SOMETHING NEW LIKE TAKE A NEW WIFE AND REVIVE MY SEX AND LOVE LIFE?

I HAVE HEARD ALL THAT.CRAP ABOUT REKINDLE YOUR LOVE. I MEAN IF I HAVE ONE SHOE THAT I WEAR ALWAYS AND I POLISH IT AND IT SHINING . DOES THAT MAKE IT NEW? IN MY MIND ITS THE SAME SHOE.

THE ONLY WAY I CAN REKINDLE MY LOVE FOR THAT SHOE IS IF.I BUY.ANOTHER ONE AND STOP WEARING THE.OLD ONE FOR A WHILE, WHEN NEXT I WEAR THE OLD ONE IT WILL FEEL NEW[/b]

And the new shoes becomes old again and u buy another shoe- shoe 3 lets work it out.

U bought ur first cherished shoe at
30yrs and changed it at 35yrs.
Now u are destined to spend 100 yrs here on earth.
100yrs-30yrs =70yrs / 5 year duration= 14 shoes. Relatively, u wd be marryn 14 wives. See how wise ur counsel is bro.

@ Op, this is a situation no one would wish for a friend. your friend needs to know that after the initial euphoria of marriage, comes a down time when you begin to notice things about your spouse that u never did during courtship. at such time, u may be pushed into thinking 'what a mistake u've made'. u didn't make a mistake. it does happen to most marriages so, don't think urs is different. so my question to him is: instead of complaining or going after girls outside, what has he done to normalize things? in my thinking and from the Op, its clear that he has not done much to return to loving her but doing everything to ensure that he got further away from her. i think those girls outside is d problem. get rid of them and the spark in your marriage will return.he needs to dig deeper than what he is presently doing. divorce should be the last thing on his mind for now. his continuous philandering with other girls should stop henceforth in order to reassess his life and marriage. take a vacation here in Nigeria or if you can afford it, go abroad where your ultimate aim will be to rediscover your wife and after all these, ur marriage should be up and running again. i wish him good luck.

Each woman is a fruit. They are fruits of different sizes, shapes colours, aroma and flavor. But what men love is fruit salad.

Dude ur friend does not have a problem am not saying it is normal. It happens sometimes but it should not last long. But they both need help. His wife should be able to keep things sexy and fun, esp. In bed. And if possible the lady should stop demanding for sex from the man rather she should rather keep herself sexy and stay kul and c wah happens

Life is essentialy spiritual,he needs serious prayers n Godly councel

Nosa-Henry:
Marriage is not bed of roses neither is it prison sentence. To me the guy has a good heart for even trying to please the woman, some men would have since thrown her out of the house. The guy cannot continue to live in perpetual unhappiness for the rest of his life. Divorce, no matter how unfortunate it may seems, is the best option in this circumstance even for the woman cos it will come to a point the man will even be wishing the woman death or take action in that direction. Physical beauty or attraction is not a guarantee that the woman is also beautiful when the man gets to down below.

Smh. Some of you have very interesting perspectives, wow

Tell your friend to call me. He needs to talk to someone.

God needs to deliver my people from the "prayer" thing. The amount for solutions that we have missed because we refused to DO anything about situations, but just wallow in pity and decided to pray. And when nothing happens we say "God knows best". Until we realize that we can actually do things.That God has given us the ability to find solutions to problems instead of always looking elsewhere. Until we know this we will go nowhere.

Forget prayer in this case.

It is absolutely normally for there to be lulls in marriages and relationships. It doesn't mean he has fallen out of love with. The way I see love is this: if you can answer yes to this question "Are you willing to give your life up for the one you claim to love?". Then you have solid legs to stand on. If he loves his wife and this is purely just a sexual thing, then there's no cause for alarm. They need some excitement in their lives. They need to hang out - go clubbing, do fun things together. Date again and COMMUNICATE. They'll be fine.

This will happen again and again. People who are talking about divorce, calling the guy names. You are actually the weak ones. Your friend should just chill and get to reconnect with his "friend", the agro will follow

mekaboy: [b] EVEN THOUGH THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE SCRIPT U POSTED HERE BUT FOR REAL THIS WHAT.MOST MARRIED MEN FACE TODAY.

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, I WOULD ADVICE UR FRIEND NOT TO CHEAT ON.HER INSTEAD TALK THINGS OVER WITH HER AND MARRY A SECOND WIFE IF HE CAN AFFORD IT.

I WAS SITTING SOMEWHERE YESTERDAY WHEN A MAN WITH HIS WIFE AND THREE KIDS CAME IN. I NOTICED THAT THE MAN AND WOMEN GAVE ALL THE ATTENTION TO THEIR KIDS AND NOT THEMSELVES. I JST KNEW ITS THE KIDA THAT ARE KEEPING THEM TOGETHER.

THEN I ASKED MYSELF. IF I GET MARRIED AND IT GETS.TO THIS LEVEL, WILL I JUST REMAIN FAITHFUL AND BE IN BONDAGE OR DO I DO SOMETHING NEW LIKE TAKE A NEW WIFE AND REVIVE MY SEX AND LOVE LIFE?

I HAVE HEARD ALL THAT.CRAP ABOUT REKINDLE YOUR LOVE. I MEAN IF I HAVE ONE SHOE THAT I WEAR ALWAYS AND I POLISH IT AND IT SHINING . DOES THAT MAKE IT NEW? IN MY MIND ITS THE SAME SHOE.

THE ONLY WAY I CAN REKINDLE MY LOVE FOR THAT SHOE IS IF.I BUY.ANOTHER ONE AND STOP WEARING THE.OLD ONE FOR A WHILE, WHEN NEXT I WEAR THE OLD ONE IT WILL FEEL NEW[/b]

It's terrible some does think like this. You could have 20shoes and keep changing and buying more.

If he were a lady, I would have called her "Bitch". I often hear of ladies getting fed up with their relationship/marriage. Maybe it was for his wife's "beauty" he married her and not for her "character". he needs prayers though. Now he has seen it all and wants more.

I will rather marry a woman for her character than her beauty.

mekaboy: [b] EVEN THOUGH THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE SCRIPT U POSTED HERE BUT FOR REAL THIS WHAT.MOST MARRIED MEN FACE TODAY.

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, I WOULD ADVICE UR FRIEND NOT TO CHEAT ON.HER INSTEAD TALK THINGS OVER WITH HER AND MARRY A SECOND WIFE IF HE CAN AFFORD IT.

I WAS SITTING SOMEWHERE YESTERDAY WHEN A MAN WITH HIS WIFE AND THREE KIDS CAME IN. I NOTICED THAT THE MAN AND WOMEN GAVE ALL THE ATTENTION TO THEIR KIDS AND NOT THEMSELVES. I JST KNEW ITS THE KIDA THAT ARE KEEPING THEM TOGETHER.

THEN I ASKED MYSELF. IF I GET MARRIED AND IT GETS.TO THIS LEVEL, WILL I JUST REMAIN FAITHFUL AND BE IN BONDAGE OR DO I DO SOMETHING NEW LIKE TAKE A NEW WIFE AND REVIVE MY SEX AND LOVE LIFE?

I HAVE HEARD ALL THAT.CRAP ABOUT REKINDLE YOUR LOVE. I MEAN IF I HAVE ONE SHOE THAT I WEAR ALWAYS AND I POLISH IT AND IT SHINING . DOES THAT MAKE IT NEW? IN MY MIND ITS THE SAME SHOE.

THE ONLY WAY I CAN REKINDLE MY LOVE FOR THAT SHOE IS IF.I BUY.ANOTHER ONE AND STOP WEARING THE.OLD ONE FOR A WHILE, WHEN NEXT I WEAR THE OLD ONE IT WILL FEEL NEW[/b]

You are making no sense whatsoever. You sound very self centered. This attitude won't get you lasting relationships

okpara ugo: If he were a lady, I would have called her "Bitch". I often hear of ladies getting fed up with their relationship/marriage. Maybe it was for his wife's "beauty" he married her and not for her "character". he needs prayers though. Now he has seen it all and wants more.

I will rather marry a woman for her character than her beauty.

Please can you explain what the prayer will do?