No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive - Romance - Nairaland
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| No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by bonysmile: 5:01pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
What could possibly be responsible for someone no longer finding his/her spouse or partner attractive? Recently a colleague couldn't hold it back any longer as he let out his mind. We were at the bar this past friday after work; just the both of us when he started pouring out his heart. Well neither of us was drunk because we had just arrived and ordered our first bottles. No sooner had the drinks arrived than he said to me: "man I hardly look forward to going home after each day's work." At first I thought it was about a normal boys thing to want to hang out sometimes after work, but he went on. He said he doesn't find his wife attractive and infact she has to beg him for sex before he has it with her. They've been married for less than 3 years with 2 lovely kids. According to him, his wife truly loves him and shows it but he can't give back to her in the same measure. He provides for his home like every responsible man should, but he'll rather find sexual pleasure and satisfaction outside. He has tried to love her back the way she loves him but something keeps putting him off. As far as he is concerned, it's the kids that keep him coming home everyday and they are the very reason he is still sharing same roof with her. They have sex (not love-making) once in a long while and she's usually the one to initiate it. He gives in according to him, just to please her. And even while doing it he wishes it was another woman. Mind you his wife is exceptionally beautiful; she is a paragon of beauty. Nairalanders please let's leave out all abusive comments, what's your advice to this man. |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by OmoAlata(f): 5:22pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
bonysmile: what's your advice to this man. They both need prayers. Seriously. 4 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Nobody: 5:31pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
I don't think the guy was prepared for marriage in the first place! He needs to be told that marriage is for better for worse till death do you part. Someone needs to talk sense into him (marriage counsellor) before he makes the biggest mistake of his life.I don't know why some men are so heartless! He has a wonderful wife who still loves him and takes good care of him,still yet he prefers to look outside to fulfil his lustful desires.how can his wife beg of sexxx when he knows its his marital obligation to do so? Damn! This is pure wickedness I must say. 12 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Nobody: 6:15pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
bonysmile: What could possibly be responsible for someone no longer finding his/her spouse or partner attractive?he is sick o....he needs correct deliverance 1 Like |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by claremont(m): 6:32pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
This is the reason why we say marriage is not for everyone, there are some people who are perfectly happy in a long-term relationship. The mere thought of sleeping and living with the same person for the rest of my life is scary. Boredom is bound to set in. 9 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Acidosis(m): 6:52pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
Maria-G: 1 Like |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Nobody: 6:53pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
clear case of marriage for convenience. |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by tobechi20(m): 7:29pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
Lov iz blind. mariage opens d eye.... 4 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Mynd44: 7:51pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
This is what happens when you marry cos all tour classmates and neighbours are married. It is clear that the man has long term commitment issues but people will not be honest with their "if you are not married, you are not responsible" bullisht 13 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by beqs101(f): 7:55pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
He is clearly no longer in love with his wife cuz,once u ain't sexually attracted to ur spouse,it simply means u have either fallen out of love with him/her or u're disturbed psychologically. So your friend needs serious help from a councellor or a shrink. Marriage is for better for worse and no longer being in love,isn't an excuse for divorce. |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Namzy(m): 8:13pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
Op should tell his friend that he shld try and. rekindle lost love, find that thing that made him love or marry her in d ist place, if he can't find it after putting much effort.........guess its time to call it quits better for all Party involved |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by obowunmi(m): 8:36pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
After two kids...na wa |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Nobody: 8:42pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
This is a very serious issue, who nor go ₪Or knw o. Dnt condemn any of †ЂΞ parties involved so fast pls. |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Nobody: 9:38pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
1 Like |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by basisop(m): 9:40pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
He has a relationship that is distracting him. Beauty is not love! May be he married for the wrong reason. 2 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by vislabraye(m): 9:48pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
The guy may have had unrealistic high expectation from his wife only to realize that there's nothing entirely new. Truth is a man/woman can loose that initial spark or what people call butterfly in your stomach after a period of time. There's nothing wrong about it. He just have to be committed to her. Marriage is about commitment. Even if the wife is miss world you'll be surprised that you'll get less thrilled after some time. 2 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by sdiq: 9:48pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG SOME WHERE THE GUY JUST NEED TO FIGURE IT OUT |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by fittty(m): 9:50pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
Its normal..... It happens to me too. When I have sexx with a girl too much I get tired and switch to a new one..... Its in most marriages just that the kids are the only ones keeping them together |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Thereishel: 9:52pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
MAN YOU ARE REALLY IN BONDAGE AND U NEED DELIVERANCE THROUGH PRAYER IN CHRIST JESUS. TAKE MY WORDS AND I AM TELLING YOU FROM EXPRIENCE THAT THOSE WOMEN YOU ARE SEEING OUTSIDE HAS INSERT THINGS FOR U WEN U ARE SLEEPING WITH THEM THAT UR WIFE WOULD BE STINKING TO YOU. THE FIRST THING IS TO STOP SEX OUTSIDE, GET DELIVERANCE BEFORE U LOSE UR HOME AND STRANGE WOMAN WOULD TAKE OVER UR HOUSE. |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Chanchit: 9:52pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
@Op, u can start by helping ur frnds wife. You knw whatamean..  |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by heed101(m): 9:53pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
The guy must have been lured into the marriage by the girl probably pregnancy or peer pressure on the side of the lady. I don't see any reason for a man to submit himself for marriage and thereafter complains about his wife not attractive. All I have to say here is that the guy shld learn how to love her. Spending a lot of time with her(may be forcefully lol), hang out together. 1 Like |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by peroskyeze(m): 9:53pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
LOL HMMM OP ABEG BE CAREFUL CUS IT B LIKE SAY THIS UR FRIEND IS GAY, VERY SOON HE GO TURN 2 U 4 HIM SEXUAL PLEASURES 1 Like |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Nobody: 9:54pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
Diabolical handiwork. He should determine to rekindle it. He married her...but eait, he is already cheating? |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by dasparrow: 9:55pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
claremont: This is the reason why we say marriage is not for everyone, there are some people who are perfectly happy in a long-term relationship. The mere thought of sleeping and living with the same person for the rest of my life is scary. Boredom is bound to set in. Mynd_44: This is what happens when you marry cos all tour classmates and neighbours are married. It is clear that the man has long term commitment issues but people will not be honest with their "if you are not married, you are not responsible" bullisht Most Nigerians don't want to get it into their thick skulls that marraige is not for everyone. They sit there criticizing people who genuinely don't want to get married. See what is happening to the poster's friend right now. The marraige is less than 3 years old and he is already fed up and it's not like he married a non attractive woman. Nigerians, stop succumbing to marital pressure. At the end, it is the innocent children born into these short lived marraiges that will suffer. It's best to marry once and do it right than to jump into marraige to please family members and friends and then later on start looking for an escape route out of the union. 7 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Ironi: 9:56pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
Dude has a problem. If your wife is a beauty and you'll rather go fck an ugly woman then you gat some serious issues. |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by duality(m): 9:56pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
unfortunately people only tend to explain the situation rather than proffer solution. well, i think the man should take a break. may be travel out "without getting involved in another relationship"(this is most important) then come back. he'll probably be refreshed by then. my reason is because they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" just my humble suggestion 6 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by danbosket26(m): 9:58pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
@op say d truth,u ve got d problem and nt ur frnd. 1 Like |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by Nobody: 9:59pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
This marriage business no be moi moi at all. It's quite intriguing how so much animosity can quickly develop between individuals who signed up to be lifelong bedmates. That's what you get when you marry for the wrong reasons, and with too much expectation. |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by mrrock: 10:00pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
This is the exact reason I wish to remain single. I do not want to disapoint a lady. There's nothing happier than having any girl you wish without this sort of concerns 1 Like |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by mekaboy(m): 10:00pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
[b] EVEN THOUGH THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE SCRIPT U POSTED HERE BUT FOR REAL THIS WHAT.MOST MARRIED MEN FACE TODAY. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, I WOULD ADVICE UR FRIEND NOT TO CHEAT ON.HER INSTEAD TALK THINGS OVER WITH HER AND MARRY A SECOND WIFE IF HE CAN AFFORD IT. I WAS SITTING SOMEWHERE YESTERDAY WHEN A MAN WITH HIS WIFE AND THREE KIDS CAME IN. I NOTICED THAT THE MAN AND WOMEN GAVE ALL THE ATTENTION TO THEIR KIDS AND NOT THEMSELVES. I JST KNEW ITS THE KIDA THAT ARE KEEPING THEM TOGETHER. THEN I ASKED MYSELF. IF I GET MARRIED AND IT GETS.TO THIS LEVEL, WILL I JUST REMAIN FAITHFUL AND BE IN BONDAGE OR DO I DO SOMETHING NEW LIKE TAKE A NEW WIFE AND REVIVE MY SEX AND LOVE LIFE? I HAVE HEARD ALL THAT.CRAP ABOUT REKINDLE YOUR LOVE. I MEAN IF I HAVE ONE SHOE THAT I WEAR ALWAYS AND I POLISH IT AND IT SHINING . DOES THAT MAKE IT NEW? IN MY MIND ITS THE SAME SHOE. THE ONLY WAY I CAN REKINDLE MY LOVE FOR THAT SHOE IS IF.I BUY.ANOTHER ONE AND STOP WEARING THE.OLD ONE FOR A WHILE, WHEN NEXT I WEAR THE OLD ONE IT WILL FEEL NEW[/b] 4 Likes |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by AdeniyiA(m): 10:01pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
- resultant effect of promiscuity before marriage (there was an ogbanje who confessed in d synagogue dt any married man who had sexx wt her will never find his wife attractiv again which wil result in d collapse of d marriage) - it cud also b dt d wife is nt a workin class lady who just sit @home n eat anytin eatable n junks therby bcomin unnecessarily fat 4 notin, wheras d hus married 'lepa'. -also some ladies bcom relax after 1 or 2 kids by not takin care of demsfs as it was wen unmarried... |
| Re: No Longer Finds Spouse Attractive by DANILSA(m): 10:01pm On Sep 09, 2012 |
The major problem is that the guy was not ripe for marriage before he did, he must have seen only the sexual aspect of the girl which can easily fade off. He should try and make his home comfortable, he should treat his wife the right way, make her dress like a young lady,she should wear things like jeans,showback, pikini etc, which will make her more fresh than ever and finally he should avoid flirting with girls as dis could be emotionally dangerous. He should never forget he promised to be with her for life,he should grow up and learn to be a man. 1 Like |
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