I wrote this in the Fam section in the past. Now, I think it might not be a bad idea to meet someone and see if something genuine might develop.

It’s another year. I am going to turn 36. I really would like to get married.

I am a conservative, indoor person and enjoy being alone – being a writer and all. But it gets to a time when you really need someone around you. Someone with whom to build an island valley of harmony to return to after a hard day’s work. Someone to love and cherish. Someone to look into her eyes and see heaven. Someone to disturb me when all I want is to be left alone. Someone to tell me everything will be fine when worries take over. Someone to hold her hands and watch the sunset together. Someone who can handle my quirks. A friend. Someone matured - between the ages of 30 and 40 – doesn’t matter really. Reasonableness, the ability to hold intelligent conversations and the capacity to see beyond the mundane are far more important to me than age, religion, ethnicity or status.

Trouble is: I haven’t done well for myself in the financial end of things. I will like to be able to give my wife and kids a good life, but things just haven’t worked out, although things are just now beginning to change gradually and I know it now won’t be long before all the hard work and integrity built up over the years begin to pay off. But who will marry someone who can’t afford her the good things of life today?

These are some of the things I think about. Can I get married this year? What do you think?

Whiterays (lightb73@gmail.com)

Is this part of your writeups or your prob?
Have you even found anyone to marry?
And who says nobody cant marry you?
Jeez

you would find someone,
just be patient and keep your eyes open.
its even better to get someone now than when things are better.
so just start searching!

@OP
people like you never find THE ONE, and always settle for some donkey, out of desperation.....because you are focussing on the wrong issues in life. how can anyone look and admire you when you are looking down on your own self? the day you change you view in life, is the day you will have half a chance of meeting a great person. your fukced up views are what is keeping you down and broke as a church mouse, forgetting that a family should be catered for (and built) by BOTH parents. but then again, it is in the Nigerian mentality to expect a man to do all the damn work, to prove that you are a M A N, right?

its that same BS ego that will keep you down and out, instead of happy and with a great woman by side.

the fact that you even believe that your finances is the reason why you are lonely is your first mistake, WAKE UP!!!!!!

AmBeautiful: you would find someone,
just be patient and keep your eyes open.
its even better to get someone now than when things are better.
so just start searching!

AmBeautiful! now I'm curious. how do i find out

MRbrownJAY: @OP
people like you never find THE ONE, and always settle for some donkey, out of desperation.....because you are focussing on the wrong issues in life. how can anyone look and admire you when you are looking down on your own self? the day you change you view in life, is the day you will have half a chance of meeting a great person. your fukced up views are what is keeping you down and broke as a church mouse, forgetting that a family should be catered for (and built) by BOTH parents. but then again, it is in the Nigerian mentality to expect a man to do all the damn work, to prove that you are a M A N, right?

its that same BS ego that will keep you down and out, instead of happy and with a great woman by side.

the fact that you even believe that your finances is the reason why you are lonely is your first mistake, WAKE UP!!!!!!

I really admire some of your angles to issues. your delivery is apt and i love reading your response. are you married? if yes how long.

duality:
I really admire some of your angles to issues. your delivery is apt and i love reading your response. are you married? if yes how long.

thanks, but it will be a cold day in hell before I walk down the aisle, but i respect the ones who do it RIGHT, and I fully understand what it takes BE (and STAY) happily married.

sadly, many people today dont know the sacrifices that are required to BE married and STAY happily married.... they just think they have to pay the rent, buy food and all will be ok.......and thats why so many are failing miserably. i have high respect for the institution of marriage and therefore i cannot enter such contract in my life.

also, in today's world, you can get all the benefits of marriage, while NOT being married, so why bother to ENSLAVE someone with marriage? i want my women to be on their toes for the rest of their lives, to blow my mind for the rest of their lives, to seduce/date/have fun and flirt with me till the rest of their lives.... so they are fully aware that if they are not at their best ALL THE TIME, someone else may be, and will gladly take their place......and that goes both ways. whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

no settling for baby whales in my world!!!

MrbrownJAY
its a pity with all your understanding of marriage and relationships you've decided not to get involved. i think you should change your mind, get involved and teach those around you how it ought to be done. i believe people will like to make positive references to you relationship and work towards having such or something better. that way you'd be adding value to life. you'd agree with me that this generation lack good role models. i think you have what it takes to be one.so, consider.

however, what do you tell ladies whom you can get all the benefits of marriage from. i guess you promise them marriage. come..on.. ok, let me tell you something.

no matter how interesting a game is and how good you are in it, you can never play it for ever. MrbrownJAY, what will you do when you can no longer play.
your world is waiting for you. people want to see you do it. they want to see you succeed so they can follow your steps. now consider and never ever use these words "but it will be a cold day in hell before I walk down the aisle"

ciao

duality: MrbrownJAY its a pity with all your understanding of marriage and relationships you've decided not to get involved.

i have to (and MUST) be honest with myself first and foremost.....and getting involved with something that i fully understand BUT dont believe in, would be wrong for me to do.

i think you should change your mind, get involved and teach those around you how it ought to be done. i believe people will like to make positive references to you relationship and work towards having such or something better. that way you'd be adding value to life. you'd agree with me that this generation lack good role models. i think you have what it takes to be one.so, consider.

yes many are lacking, but i would rather teach these people to stand PROUDLY and HONESTLY for what they believe in life (so long as it aint criminal or against the law), rather than doing what they are NOT properly equipped to do. some men are NOT meant to be faithful, the faithful genes is NOT in their DNA, and it would be wrong for me to try to turn/change such man into what he clearly aint, in order to fit the social agenda that tells you that being married is the way to go in life........it is for many, but not for all!

however, what do you tell ladies whom you can get all the benefits of marriage from. i guess you promise them marriage. come..on..

i have never promised marriage to anyone, that would be too cruel for me to do that. what would be the aim really? since i can probably get ANYTHING out of a woman without ever mentioninng marriage (or even long term relationship/children). all the benefits of marriage are there BEFORE marriage ( if they werent then why would anyone get married to that person then?) its just that it makes more sense to many AFTER marriage, while they quickly forget that this is just a recycled feeling repackaged as "marriage benefits".

ok, let me tell you something.
no matter how interesting a game is and how good you are in it, you can never play it for ever. MrbrownJAY, what will you do when you can no longer play.
your world is waiting for you. people want to see you do it. they want to see you succeed so they can follow your steps. now consider and never ever use these words "but it will be a cold day in hell before I walk down the aisle"
ciao

life itself is a game, and we all strive to be the best at it. we all should look at everything we do as something FUN, something PLEASURABLE as i certainly dont see why we would do otherwise.....and just as i look at any r/ship as a life game, thats also how i view marriage. you want to END that game with marriage, while i certainly believe that marriage is the same game, simply played with different set of rules.

i want people to succeed in being HAPPY WITH THE LIFE THEY LIVE, and if we can achieve that, then that will be more than enough for us all........and the only way to do that is by FIRST making people stand proudly for who they are, then SECOND by giving them the power to take some choices in life that may not be too popular with the masses, but which are what THEY desire for themselves (so long as it aint criminal/against the law), and LAST, to accept other people's choices (as just that), whether they believe in it or not.

there are so much diversity in Nigeria and if we are not ready to accept thats it's ok to be different, then what we see everyday happening in Nigeria (Muslim killing Christians, Igbos bashing Yorubas etc) will never change,and there is no way this country or its people can ever go forward.