How can i tell if my ex wants me back or is just using me until he finds someone else?  He broke up with me about 3 months ago citing that he didn't know if he loved me the same anymore or didn't know if he saw a future for us (we dated for 2 years, lived together.  he was 31 and i'm 23), but recently has started hanging around at my place again.  Could it be that he is just afraid to admit that maybe he was wrong?  He apologised for saying horrible things after we broke up and wanted to know if my mother hated him,    When he comes over its like nothing ever happend, he calles me baby and sweetheart and even offered to give me a back massage after a really long day at work (thats NEVER happened before!)

what are your thoughts?[/b][b][b][/b]

Perhaps he has realised he had jewel in his hands. Give him another chance but watch him though

Maybe you should ASK him what his intentions are? he may not tell the truth but you should be able to garner a lot from that conversation.

What do you mean ask him what his intentions are? What was the idea of the relationship the first time? you should be asking the girl what happend to cause the break up and if the situation has changed.

must you girls always have a question for a man when you have made up your minds not to believe his reply?

Mandy,you are the one in it,guys are bad,you see there us nothing we enjoy more than free sex and when it comes with ease,sometimes we rush back to our old love when the chips are down as regards other girls,because things will be easy there,hold on tight and ask him what he wants from you before giving in to any of his advances

well maybe he realised that he made a mixtake when he broked it off, that why
hes back now, or maybe he back just to use you, and then break up your again
so just ask him why he is back Now, whats his intention, let him go expecially if he
doesnt want to be with you for the long run!!!! dont let him waste your time, the fact
that hes actually older than you, he might have came back for sex, who knows,

Be careful girl, I think he just wants to hit some ass.

yewo!, from experience err i think you should kick him to the kerb

my own two cents

Maybe he's changed,maybe not.You've gotta really watch out.If its true action speaks louder than words,then u should watch out for the sincerity of his actions.Time would tell whether his intentions are genuine,so don't have your hopes high.Besides you shouldn't give the impression that you are like some fallow land that he can leave and come back to at will.

I think you should let him go. I mean, if he's coming back then it should be for him to say what he feels. What does he think, coming back & hanging around without saying his feelings/position That's rude in my book. It is nice that he apologized & asked about your mom though.

I agree with ROSCODADDY. He might just be looking for "free sex". Also there's the "you'll miss me when I'm gone factor". He might be missing you but that doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship will be good or better. I'll pray for you girl b/c I've been there. _{And made the wrong decision. *sigh*}

;Dpoor boy,dnt u tink he had bin sufferin,i mean he realised he lost someone special n nw!!

baby girl cmon. he just wants you in bed period, just ask him his intentions and pls dont go if u have doubts as per his response

hey hope am not being myopic here but its common for guys to wanna go back to an ex he was probably having something physical with, maybe he is not getting what he wants out there.most guys believe in one stupid law termed 'okoro's law' which says and i quote "once there ,always there". hope you know what the there stands for. guys sorry for leaking the law

Girlfriend please get him out of your life fast!!!! He is just missing the good ol 'days of hot passion!

See these damn negroes? You get a girl, she is good to you, you dump her, and now you want her back? Who the blimy phuck you think you izz

Girl listen! Dont take his trifling ass back. The mutha fawka basically told you he didnt love you. He prolly had a biatch on the side and that shit didnt work out and now he wants to come back,

Dont let him give you no massages, either!

Instead girl, make sure you look good, make sure your hair, clothes and make up are on point, and make sure he sees you looking of the chain and looking good too!

Its the year of the FEmales!

mandy the weary i wouldnt trust him.

@topic

I am a little confused at the responses, some harsh, some weird and some funny. from my perspective i think sometimes we guys/girls take for granted what we have and want to be a little adventuorous only to realise that what we had in our previous partners was a blessing in disguise. i think u shud give him a chance he has realised you worth thats why he came calling, sometimes we could all fall for temptations to look else were.

He knows you are still into him emotionally.  I man 31 years should know what he wants.  He wants to use for sex, until someone else come along.  Honey this is how it works.  When meets her, he is going dump you.

If you take him back, he will know that you are weak and treat you accordingly. Girl you got to love yourself more than any man.

Sweetheart run like a fugitive, I am sure is a reason, and a very valid one too, why he is your ex.

I had a conversation recently with a very dear friend of mine regarding this matter. And he pointed out something to me which had me thinking. Guys would "knock" on an ex first whenever they are looking for an easy lay. You see it beats having to go looking and many ex's are still emotionally hang up on their mates, that makes it rather easier to give in.

Please say what you mean, and mean what you say, let this guy be, You will only end up being hurt, again, in the long run,

Just be carefull i agree with KAJAD watch him closely ,

give the chance again but don't trust easily.

Iroyin o dabi afojuba!

He know what he said and that his the real feelings in him that he can't find the love he felt last two years anymore , such guy can  kick you out of matrimonial home after you settle down .My advice is that you pretend you are not in love anymore, avoid going to bed with him , talk more on how your future gonna be.Deny him of what he enjoy doing with you and see if he will stay , Be sure he's for real before you give a second chance.

Well, I was in the same fix 2 months ago. Just that am a guy and she's the girl and this is what I said:

"Is anything you want to tell me, something you feel I should know?

Something you ought to tell me which you may not want to say.

Just to know what's really happening with the new mood, the new attitude, the new attention.

You do realise we broke up; and breaking up means moving on. So what's this all about?

I remember when we used to text back in the day. It was the most fun thing I remember about you. I wonder what we'd text to each other these days.

And those nights we'd just lay together and sleep. When you were cold, I'd cuddle not to keep you warm, but just to keep myself a little cool too, you keep me cool, I keep you warm. You know that's the whole Yin & Yang thing.

That's when I started to believe.

But all that is gone and done with now. It's all dead and buried. So what is this brand new amity supposed to be?"

be careful, I sense trouble.

he said he's not sure he loves you, and all of a sudden he becomes sure, i would suggest you be very watchful, as naija peeps would say, shine your eyes well well and don't fall a fool again. because i feel he's just up to something.

denex:

Well, I was in the same fix 2 months ago. Just that am a guy and she's the girl and this is what I said:

"Is anything you want to tell me, something you feel I should know?

Something you ought to tell me which you may not want to say.

Just to know what's really happening with the new mood, the new attitude, the new attention.

You do realise we broke up; and breaking up means moving on. So what's this all about?

I remember when we used to text back in the day. It was the most fun thing I remember about you. I wonder what we'd text to each other these days.

And those nights we'd just lay together and sleep. When you were cold, I'd cuddle not to keep you warm, but just to keep myself a little cool too, you keep me cool, I keep you warm. You know that's the whole Yin & Yang thing.

That's when I started to believe.

But all that is gone and done with now. It's all dead and buried. So what is this brand new amity supposed to be?"

Poor Denex , Still mourning ur girfrriend?

The big question is WHAT MADE THE GUY CALL IT QUIT IN THE FIRST PLACE? Please thread carefully because accepting him back may be a journey into another catastrophic heartbreak (remember how you feel when he first left?).

omys

I think you should give him a second chance- he most probably has realized he erred. The fact is we (men) often only realize what a jewel we had after we've lost it

Good luck girl

girlie there just mite be nuthing wrong with u taking him back
but this time let him know what u want
if he is so into wanting to sex you, then blieve me sweetie he just came back to hit some ass

guys do that cos they know that we just mite still be into them emotionally
so they get to take advantage of that
let him know how u feel, let him know u were hurt n let him work to get back ur trust and love
his acting lyk nuthing eva happened is a very smart move
if he doesnt agree to your terms n u r not sure of his intentions ^{if u tink he is still crooked}
then let him step!!