my boyfriend has a flatmate, lets call him peter, now peter has a gf lets call her tina, they have been dating for like five years now, and peter says he plans to marry her in the future when the time is ripe. she lives and works in another state.

so she comes arround once a month, sometimes once in two months, depending on hw work is. when she comes, she cooks, cleans and even washes his clothes (accumulated clothes waitng for her). ova gud dey worry the babe. the last time she came she cooked egusi, ogbono, vegetable soup, stew, fried rice all in a day. qnd thats hw she always do it each visit.

now immediately she leaves, anoda girl comes in, when that one leaves, anoda enters. inshort this guy has like four regula girlfrnds ane some oda not so regula babes. every weekend is a different babe.

so around october dis year, she saw a message he sent to one of the girls wne she askd him abt it, i was in the house den, she asked me if i knew the girl, i denied cos i didnt wwnt to be included in their stuff.

she cried, ranted, etc said she was breaking up with hik, the guy begged even called his mother to beg for him, his mum warned him and begged the girl, she forgave him and left on a monday morning. that same monday in the evening anoda girl came and spent a week. this was a guy that waw on his knees beyging the previous day.
anyway i turned my face like i no see

now she was here like nov ending, when she left again, anoda babe came, this time around this one stayed for two weeks straight, left dis sunday.

then she called me dis night tht she saw a picture on facebook, where a girl snapped in what looks like peter's house, she sent me the pics that i ehould check if she was mistaken, well i checked and it turned out to be that girl that stayed for two weeks who left on sunday.

i told her its d same house but denied knowing or every seeing the girl in question. which is a lie.

so here is d problen, i have been denying anytime she askes me. and she takes my word for it. but this one is nw too much, i want to tell her cos i tink am indirectly aiding him. but hw do i do it?

i feel she might hate me, or see me as a lair or blame me for her broken r/s.

i dont knw what to do but i want to stop lying.
what should i do?

well if advice you to say the truth it's may result more issues within both of them and the guy may later find out you are the perpetrator and hated you more,even the guy's mother is aware of the relationship which means the good girl have her back-up,tell the lady to take care of her biz infact you hardly stay around otherwise it's bounce on you!.

i dont knw what to do but i want to stop lying.what should i do?

It's not has hard as you are painting the scenario, if you want to stop lying, then there is only one option left, 'say the truth'.

You're in a difficult situation, indeed.

Tell the cheater that you are in a dilemma because of him and tell him to make sure you're kept out of his dirty business in the future else you'll tell the good girl the truth.

Something very similar happened to me and I was told by my ex boyfriend's sister in law what he was doing after I had left at the end of the weekend, during which I had been also taking care of him well well, even cooking for the days to come when am not around. I was very grateful I was told. That doesn't mean the lady in question will be grateful, too.

S.hi.t happen! Burst the bubble before the bubble burst on ur face..

It depends on your response to this question; Would you appreciate it, if someone gave you the same kind of info about your BF? Personally, I think it'd be the right thing to do. Info and honesty are very powerful... and should always trump ambiguity.
People finding out that they're being cheated on hurts, no matter how they find out, but most of the time, they end up being better for it. Do not worry about the hate or hurt, she'll come around someday and thank you it....

why did u lie in the first place?

Tell that girl to talk to her bf if she asks u again. If she asks u again just tell her simply that he is not committed. Your only option was to say that u dont want to be involved but u already did that the first time you lied.

Well, one will offer you an advice based on it's personal belief.. For someone like my person, I detest complications and all that crap.. I love to feel and live freely without anything bugging me.

What I'm saying is, if I were in your shoes, I would gladly give her whatever answer she craves, especially when she gets to ask some direct questions.

There are reasons why I don't give in to the lying game:

1. My conscience would never allow me. Infact! I'm yet to see someone whose conscience is as active as mine.

2. I always try to avoid complications. The fact is, if you lie, you will need another lie to cover the first one, and another one to cover the second, third, and so on... Why would I want to put myself in a situation whereby I can't speak freely without thinking about the next trick to put up in order to deceive.

3. If u were in her shoes, how would u feel? If u think about the pains, I think that should give u a sense of reasoning that you don't need to mislead her more than she has been misled. Also, remember that what goes around, surely comes around. In other words, whatsoever you sow, you shall reap. You'd be doing her a favour if you stop adding salt to injury for her, cuz that's what you are indirectly doing.

Anywayz, if you think saying the truth would make her hate you, then you ain't ready to be a honest person. Just let her know the circumstances and why you had to deny certain things at one point or the other. I bet you; she would have you to thank for it tomorrow.

You sef u na get human sympathy? If na u dy do inter-state tinz like dat, hw u go feel Na wa to u oo. E b like say u wicked pass that guy sef. Chai!

There are a couple of things I have learnt when it comes to friends who cheat on their spouse and top on the list is to mind my business. Seriously, It does not concern you.

If Tina asks you, tell her you don't know and she should ask peter. If she persists tell her you are busy. You know why? Cos if you tell her, she will get mad, they will fight, settle and the guy will simply not do it in front of you again while you will be seen as a witch.

But there is also the option I love doing. Tell Tina and damn the consequences

Mynd_44: There are a couple of things I have learnt when it comes to friends who cheat on their spouse and top on the list is to mind my business. Seriously, It does not concern you.

If Tina asks you, tell her you don't know and she should ask peter. If she persists tell her you are busy. You know why? Cos if you tell her, she will get mad, they will fight, settle and the guy will simply not do it in front of you again while you will be seen as a witch.

But there is also the option I love doing. Tell Tina and damn the consequences

@bolded. That's more my bag.

thanks all
it seems all of u are of the opinion that i tell her. but seriously its not that easy.
if i tell her and they fight and break up. dont u think i will be seen as an enemy?
and even if they reconcile at the end. i will still be an enemy.!!
again what will my boyfriend say if i tell on his frnd? wont he be mad?? wont tthere be spillova in my r/s?
i really what to tell her cos my hrt it very heavy. but i dont knw hw the concequences will be.

dmcdad:
@bolded. That's more my bag.

Mine too. But it taks will power, guts and the ability to go without friends

Aafulenu: thanks all
it seems all of u are of the opinion that i tell her. but seriously its not that easy.
if i tell her and they fight and break up. dont u think i will be seen as an enemy?
and even if they reconcile at the end. i will still be an enemy.!!
again what will my boyfriend say if i tell on his frnd? wont he be mad?? wont tthere be spillova in my r/s?
i really what to tell her cos my hrt it very heavy. but i dont knw hw the concequences will be.

You can do whatever you feel is right for you to do. Like I stated 4rm the outset of my first post, if I were in ur shoes... I would do it and face whatever that comes. Damn consequences.

For me, if u were not asked directly, it would be a different ball game entirely.

Well, do whatever u want at ur discretion.

Mynd_44:
Mine too. But it taks will power, guts and the ability to go without friends

Those are what makes me stronger and better than a lot of people today.

dmcdad:
Those are what makes me stronger and better than a lot of people today.

Me too dude.

Mynd_44:
Me too dude.

That's good. I always crave for what is right irrespective of what people think..

dmcdad:
That's good. I always crave for what is right irrespective of what people think..

I like it better when I annoys people

Mynd_44:
I like it better when I annoys people

Ahh! Make them no go break bottle for ur head o. Lol

dmcdad:
Ahh! Make them no go break bottle for ur head o. Lol

In the words of Eldee,
"Hell knows I ain't a killer but I know bad people"

Please tell her the truth and damn the consequences...
She is a woman like you and that's why she keeps coming to you because she believes that you won't lie to her..
She deserves to know the truth..

If you don't want to get involved, then tell her not to mention your name or reveal the person that told her...

Mynd_44:

Lol...

Make i join this gist abeg..
I think u did good by covering for the cheat, it will be xtremely wicked of you if u vocal everytyn direct to the lady, cos u'll be held responsible for their break-up..
U wnt to stop lying? Simply tell the lady dat u are nt a good spy, she either truth her man or ask another person abt him.
Then, preach to the cheat to repent or be exposed(am nt asking u to expose him ooo)

you can tell her to visit peter without letting him know of her coming. so that she can see everything by her self.

don't use your mouth to tell her. just tell her to pay you guys a surprise visit one of this days if actually she wanna know/see something.

if is me, i must know. if i'm your babe, i must be paying you a surprise visit even sometimes, i will come around 10:00pm and weekends, that's when you can know a faithful guy.

Pls tell her. If she finds out on her own, she'll hate u cos she'll assume u knew all along and lied to her. Put urself in her shoes and tell her 2 stop wasting her time and risking her life travelling 4rm one town to anoda cos of a guy dats nt even worth it. My opinion sha

It seems like you want to be her close friend or something You're allowed to be compassionate but it's not your affair, sorry.

OP, mind ur damn business. Almost all guys cheat, so Peter is not the first, and BTW do u know what ur own BF does behind ur back too...rem 'birds of same feathers flock together' (Peter n ur BF). And besides even if u tell, they still would come back again. The best is just tell her to come unannounced like someone said...cos their relationship no concern u. Me don talk my own. C u

truth: i didn't finish the reading. Short story nxt timt

truth: i didn't finish the reading. Short story nxt time

What kind of working class guy dates a girl for 5years and still hasn't made up his mind? And you say he is flatmates with your boyfriend?

It appears you're a 'confirmed' regular @ the 'flat' to have noticed all these escapades. Perhaps you also spend many nights there as well. If you tell on him, you're a snitch; if you don't tell, you're heartless and without compassion. If you decide to sit on the fence, your conscience would crucify you; plus you'd also be referred to as wicked and mean if/when the truth surfaces.

If you wish to be absolved of blame, then you have to extract yourself from the scenario. Stop going there. Stop sleeping over. Be absent from the crime scene. Can you afford that? Weigh the pros and cons in terms of your relationship with your bf.

By the way, birds of a feather flock together. Your BF might also be in the game. Watch your back!