Hi guys,

Thanks a lot for all the warmth and care reflected in your posts.

@ogroguba
Thanks bro. really getting to see all my siblings in a different light now. Specially my little sis and our youngest guy.

@jibosquie
Thanks bro for the wonderful link, tho’ my connection made it blotchy and all. “scars” was wonderful but Chychy’s ‘memories’ is it. Tho’ I wil put up another poem by Monday. Thanks.


@almondjoy & 4him
I am really grateful to God and guys like Mickplus, aisha2, chychy, jibosquie, and some other guys out there for my progress. It may be slow but I don’t think I may want to handle it any other way than I am right now. Thanks all the same for your posts.

@ all u wonderful guys
Guess what?
My friend lived up to his word – even a notch higher, actually took me to one of those Top hotel spas in the island today. Boy was I refreshed (for want of a better word).
Got back home and got this call – from her mum. We spoke for like 5 mins, and then guess whom she handed the phone to …

Don’t want to undo all the wonderful progress we’ve made in this tortuous journey so far.
Please, allow me the luxury of mulling over the “talk” today.  I will give u a sneak peak of what it was all about soon. (Please don’t conjecture).
I am still basking in the treatment I got at the spa today. Real cool, but I wondered when I’d just walk in and do that on my own (it was worth every dime), and also why some real wealthy folks rarely take advantage of these wonderful services.

I now understand the real meaning of the SA proverb “umuntu nguntu ngabantu” translated “a person is a person because of other persons”. I’m this Ok cos of you all, thanks.

I woke up to some music I never heard before something about "life is a highway, am gonna ride it ,
I think its cool. And to som of you who want to judge the way I am or not handling it, how about this
Told you what, I had a low this morning (first Sunday without her). But then I know the feeling, bad as it is, will pass.
The gist of te phone call was like [i], we're mad for each other, , trials come,, blah blah blah.[/i]And my rely was like, [i]I have given my everything , my emotions are drained, , there's nothing more to give.[/i]Besides, the trust is gone. Felt bad after it all, but I know I did the right thing.

What u think?

u can start with two bottles of ur favorite lager daily
if the heart does not heal u can increase gradually
and maybe add other things like kparaga nad kaikai.
dem never born that heart make e no heal.
if u need other tips,
YIM me

@bennyg,
ROFLMAO!!! Yur ILL man!
And Mr. Seemenow, er, scars was my suggestion , not jibosque's . But memories you say, and memories it is.
Bout tellig her off. Lemme juss put it this way, are you convinced about your actions? Cos if you do, i don't think you'd be asking us if you did right or ot. And if you're not convinced, then, no matter what we say, yur still gonna end-up with her .
Sha, if ever the time comes when your resolve is weak, let your scars remind you bout the past (Still not too late to change d title o, lol, kiddin)
Never been in your shoes, but had skirmishes with some close friends before, forgave both, one turned out to be more heart-ache, and the other, i keep thanking God evryday for giving me such a wonderful friend. Mans! Tis up to YOU!

i dont know why the poster is here
crying over a girl that is likely in another man'a arms.
it pains me real bad and makes me feel that the popular saying
"only fools fall in love" is true.
ol boy wake up and smell the coffee
the girl is probably rocking her world someone with one shapiro guy.
i don tell you,
go drink paraga sleep.

Seemenow, My dear, take your time, love yourself, spoil yourself , reflect and take the best decision you feel is right, Good Luck.
I envy the spa treatment. Enjoy.

Hi folks,

thanks for ur time.

Just decided to keep on keeping on (ala plantation boiz).

I am moving (lookin at march end).

@ogreguba
Sorry Bro. The error is highly regretted.

@aisha2
U are wonderful.
If you think the spa was great. Just wait till i get my new wheels.

Thanks guys.

Sometimes it takes situations like this to show us what we have been missing out in life. I can see you are really getting then groove. We will wash the new wheels oh.

it happens to me in the year 2005 i was heart broken but im vry ok now . Iknow how difficult it is but believe me those wounds will heal with time. Try having another girl , move ahead and stop looking back.

Hi all,

Sorry for the break in transmission.

It’s really been tough this past couple of days.

Well, I said I was going to keep you abreast of my progress in this unplanned journey and I intend to do just that. For ease of concentration, I have decided to cut the whole post in to a series of smaller posts so that I can keep you attention without boring you.

I will start with a  summarized dateline my journey through heartbreak from the start to the present:

WEEK 1: I’d noticed that what I considered uncomfortable developments for almost a month, were becoming regular – No calls or texts for up to 3 days (we talk to each other first thing in the morning, at least once within the day, and last thing at night); no acknowledgements to my texts, no weekend visits. (we see each other every other day).

I’d tried to address the issues earlier than then, so over a scheduled lunch, I’d asked the usual questions:
What ma I doing wrong?
What did I do?

Bad encounter. Ended with my plea: Please whatever the problem is, let’s (meaning her, cos I was sensing that) not give our bodies to other persons yet. We can work out every other issue (meaning: I can bear every other sin) except that.

WEEK 2: No communication at all. I’d called in the first 2 days but she wouldn’t pick. For the first time since it all began, I’d felt I was really been treated unfairly (especially after the efforts I’d put in to revive the flame, while struggling to put a new business on a stable footing), so I said to watch and see if he will call. She never did.
I managed five tortuous days before I went to see her.

WEEK 3: More of a confrontation than anything else. After almost 2 hours without any meaningful progress, I’d tried a hypothesis by suggesting that we could take some weeks break, review ourselves and … she almost immediately agreed. I left with a feeling that I’d just helped her articulate what she’s been finding difficult to say.

WEEK 5: Took a break from work. Rearranged the furniture in my house and started this thread. Also changed my phone.

WEEK 6: The break is public. My family and close friends have noticed. Some observant folks too, like my land lady. I was getting a lot of help online, including here at nairaland. Some real positive stuff too – a friend took me to a spa (I’ve never been to one before); another introduced me to, and got me a gold member registration in www.legwork.com.ng (nice social networking site – not that I am really keen to start anything right now).

I plan moving house. The house holds a lot of memories cos she chose the decoration theme among other things.

My new biz is a little stabilizing ,

Then the best surprise: I’d wanted to get a 99/2k model of T Camry – my first car, by the middle of this month; on Wednesday, my 2 closest friends take me to Nandos at S/lere, tells me to forget the Camry, ask me what slightly more expensive wheels I’d prefer if I could afford it - Nissan pathfinder -03, they pledge to make up the money for that by this month end – just to tell her that I’m better off without her (na them talk so!).

2 days later, her mum calls me and afterwards put her on the line. She wants to come back, thinks we can still work things out, cried , I nearly crack, told her I still didn’t know what my offence was that made her leave, drops the line on her, felt guilty afterwards.

I broach the issue to my close circle. Everyone says No – my siblings, my friends, even my land lady who she’d approached to persuade me!

PLEASE NOTE: The nairaland browser didn;t display the ame of the networking site I talked about in the post before this correctly. The site name is Legwork.

PRESENTLY … I still come back home and feel a fleeting sadness. I still get momentarily depressed sometimes. I still sometimes wish we are still together. I’m still trying to get used to waking up and not picking my phone to call her (I’d done that EVERYDAY for at least 7 months counting backwards from last December – honest).

But I thank God for the bright side of my life now. A stable biz that puts food on my table; the loyalty of 2 wonderful friends; the support and understanding of my family; and above all, the emotional development that came with experiencing what happened.

Will I meet someone better? I hope so.

Am I a stronger and better person now than before? Definitely. Most definitely.

Thanks to all of you in who contributed your posts: aisha2 (u are really a sort of legend here), mickplus, chychy, jibosqie,4him, almondjoy, ogrebuga, firestar, bennygee, and dellynash. God bless you all and may you also find support from people in trying times. You can send me a mail or YIM me on edisco1000@yahoo.com.

For those who may be interested, I found very helpful articles on www.hopecircle.com, www.enotalaone.com, and www.wikihow.com.

And finally, here’s the poem I promised to post (I’d titled it LEAVING MY SCARS –for Ogrebuga):

[center]LEAVING MY SCARS

White whispers descending
Urges me to tear the sheet
But a promise bestowed
Haunts me past midnight
Till 1 AM, nudges me awake,
Draws my hand, trembling,
To pick my pillow pen.

‘Sorry’, softly spoken, Tears it!
A half height-still growing veil
To shield memories of a an ebony face,
an angelic smile, Beauty like a red rose,
Voice like the sound of rushing brooks
flowing in the morning;
Warm, soft, and sweet –
Unforgettable cuddles and kisses …

Poetry isn’t currency,
Hurt is a tiny word.

I felt a sharp pain,
Press a finger to the wound,
Now turning to a mental scar.

Time is freezing my fate to
A hard heart.

Hello,
Do you know
I write poetry
To hide my misery?

Do you know
I wore old clothes?

Do you know:
I lived in a mob hovel;
Shit in a broken lavatory;
Slept on the floor;
Prayed like a pastor;
Inhaled fantasy like oxygen;
Lived on a thousand big dreams?

Now, I am a success in progress – bar this shock.

Should I nurse hate,
Like George Bush does with Osama;
Pain in a person’s name?

We HAD Fun,
Sitting on the couches,
far from each other
throwing texts with our phones;
buying cards,
tearing out the inner pages, and
filling them with our own words;
lying in each other’s arms,
laughing, reading romantic poems,
I haven’t written for a long time now.

Am I going to far fantasizing?

I remember her  eyes,
The roughness and restlessness
Of a personality, like mine;
And in her voice,
The gentle heart, beating
Within a stubborn spirit.

For babes on this thread,
Do you know that affection
Doesn’t lie in that second plate of ice cream;
Post-paid phone accounts, runway outfits,
A never dry wallet, the front seat of a jeep,
or perfection?

Not her. Just generalizing.

You all expected a poem,
Here is one.

But I won’t hope for a reply,
Won’t smile if I see you,
Won’t send you cards on valentine …

I don’t love,
Can’t love,
Won’t love.

But maybe,
Just M-A-Y-B-E,

I will seek for a reply;
Smile if I see you;
Send you cards on valentine;

Even call, if I get a number.

I just remembered one thing:

I can still be

Loved again.[/center]


Please this doesn’t mean that this thread is closed. I will still visit everyday and read your posts (and reply too).  It is just that you guys have successfully helped me to pass through what I feel are the worst times.
I am open to new opportunities. Please e-mail or YIM me at the address I earlier gave.

Thank you, and may God bless you all.

Seemenow, I am really happy for you, Thats the spirit, no one can love us if we do not love ourself and accept our strengths and weeknesses and keep in touch with our true feelings.
You should really consider a career in writting, your peoms are so good and real.
Always remeber, that what you are going tru should make you a beeter person not a bad person, dont take it out on anyone, you will still find someone who will love you, treat her well, you may get hurt again but never take it out on someone else, its not nice to be the cause of someone's pain, be fair to peopl, if they mistreat you, its their loss not urs.
Stay cool

Aisha2
thanks for the words. Every man may have a capacity for evil or hurting people but I don't think mine are fully developed yet . I am actually involved in something that demands a lot of creative writing. Thanks again for ur interest in this thread.

Nice poem seemenow !
I can see you are out of it ! Just like aisha rightly put it, thats the spirit !
Aisha, how are u?
seemenow, are u doing great too?

Cheers

@mikiplus, I dey oh, et vous? est-ce que travellier?

aisha2:

@mikiplus, I dey oh, et vous? est-ce que travellier?

Ce ne par francous?
I hope i got that right? LOL
cheers

yeh, but saying , Vous Parlez Francais?

Hi mickplus, good to read your post again. I'm really doing than I imagined (thanks to you guys).

And what's this hyphenated hieroglyphics that you and Aisha are throwing around on my thread (apologies to Mr. S. Osewa)

Or are you guys toasting in tongues?

toasting in tongues? thats funny !!!
we were actually " tongue toasting'' LOL
How are u today seemenow?

Aisha, bonjour !!!

cheers

@ Seemenow
How you dey, we are fine oh, definately no toasting just some tongue twisting.
@mikiplus, Bonjour, Comment allez vous?

whats the meaning of that? i am lost o
a vour?

Hi Mickplus and aisha,
I dey cool. Really adapting fast to "bachelorhood" again.
Must confesss d new "freedom" sweet small (Or should i be guilty about that? )
We go find way meet o! Honest I'd love to see you guys.
Aisha, u wan carry "Comment allez vous? confuse me? Abi u think I no Know say that na french for "Come allen avenue?"
Make u and mickplus behave o!
Got a new LOST DVD on. See ya guys!

New Lost DVD huh. Well prepare to have ur emotions swayed by the TV show's sometimes awkward ehpasis on the "human" angle.

Seemenow
Abeg dont feel guitly, enjoy yourself, carry go.
Mikiplus, i meant howare u.
est- ce que travailler?

seemenow !! you are one funny person!!! things can happen not only in allen but other places too, abi? How u dey?
Aisha, no mind me. I dont understand nor can speak french !!! i just dey try. Now that i know what u saying, i am fine and doing very wonderfully well. Hope u are good too?
cheers

Hi guys, good to read ur posts again. must confess, i look foward to reading them. Aisha u be real veteran for here o! don't mind if you can send me a mail (maybe including ur number). No hidden agenda, i swear.

Micklplus, I sent you a mail.
Gotta go.
Cheers.

hi seemenow, how are u doing?
I replied ur mail. holla at me anytime.
DO have a very wonderful day!
Cheers

Seemenow, waz up? How you dey now? I sent you an YIM some days back.
I can see you are enjoying yourself, my guy have fun oh.