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Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" - Romance - Nairaland

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Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by djeezy(m): 8:16am On Dec 22, 2012
I opened this thread because I have noticed that oft-times when a guy who is interested in a girl comes as a friend, he ends up being just a friend and gets stuck in the "friend zone".
Do you think it's apt to be friends before advancing into relationship or you do not need to be friends before you decide whether or not he/she is a potential romantic partner? Which way has been working for you? Mature responses please.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by jhydebaba(m): 8:21am On Dec 22, 2012
It works in this order...

1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends

6 Likes

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by djeezy(m): 8:23am On Dec 22, 2012
jhydebaba: It works in this order...

1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends
So that's how it works for you??
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by lolaluv1(f): 8:38am On Dec 22, 2012
Yes, I believe in being friends before dating.

Personally, I don't give my trust easily. It is earned and you earn it when I relate to you as a friend, seeing how you treat others apart from me.

That way, the roots of love grow deep in the fertile field of friendship.

Most times, we are all too quick in jumping into a relationship, then we find out nasty things about the person, we find out we are not compatible, the person is insultive etc and then we start thinking of how to quit.

But as friends, you access this person to see if their worthy to be let into your life.

Any guy that asks me out, I request we relate first as friends, but I give him a SPECIFIC time he could expect an answer.

Pretending is out of it because he doesn't know what I'm looking for. And I'm the type who can tell a person's character by hanging out with them a few times.

#myopinion.

24 Likes

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by Nobody: 8:42am On Dec 22, 2012
Absolutely.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by k2039(m): 8:50am On Dec 22, 2012
lola.luv:
Yes, I believe in being friends before dating.

Personally, I don't give my trust easily. It is earned and you earn it when I relate to you as a friend, seeing how you treat others apart from me.

That way, the roots of love grow deep in the fertile field of friendship.

Most times, we are all too quick in jumping into a relationship, then we find out nasty things about the person, we find out we are not compatible, the person is insultive etc and then we start thinking of how to quit.

But as friends, you access this person to see if their worthy to be let into your life.

Any guy that asks me out, I request we relate first as friends, but I give him a SPECIFIC time he could expect an answer.

Pretending is out of it because he doesn't know what I'm looking for. And I'm the type who can tell a person's character by hanging out with them a few times.

#myopinion.
I need the time frame before I comment on this.

A year, 3 months, how long, how specific is your time.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by rokiatu(f): 8:53am On Dec 22, 2012
I like dating first and then best friends while dating.

1 Like

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by Exponental(m): 9:00am On Dec 22, 2012
Marriage first, then courtship, relationship, friendship......ship ship!

Ur question get as e be? How on earth wont u be a friend before being a relationship.....is dat desperation or wat?

1 Like

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by k2039(m): 9:01am On Dec 22, 2012
rokiatu: I like dating first and then best friends while dating.
Gbamest.

Why on earth should I have to wait for a girl for a decade before she says yes(waiting is a big risk on it's own, when I'm not even sure she will say yes), besides she will get comfortable with being friends and friend zone me.

6 Likes

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by k2039(m): 9:05am On Dec 22, 2012
jhydebaba: It works in this order...

1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends
Certainly, if this is the order, then trust me, I will never proceed beyond one.

I don't need to compete before winning the gold medal.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by Nobody: 9:33am On Dec 22, 2012
Exponental: Marriage first, then courtship, relationship, friendship......ship ship!

Ur question get as e be? How on earth wont u be a friend before being a relationship.....is dat desperation or wat?
I dont get u.Lez say u see a girl u wanna marry now,U just marry her without trying 2 b her friend first? shocked;Are u serious?

1 Like

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by Nobody: 9:33am On Dec 22, 2012
jhydebaba: It works in this order...

1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends
[quote author=jhydebaba]It works in this order.Joker,how can u ve sex with sum1 without trying 2 b friends with dat person
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by lolaluv1(f): 9:41am On Dec 22, 2012
k2039:
I need the time frame before I comment on this.

A year, 3 months, how long, how specific is your time.

It depends on the person.
There was this guy I knew. One day, I had a luggage (was supposed to bike) but decided to walk home with it so I could clear my thoughts as I had just lost my best friend in an accident and was depressed and sad.
This guy came to help me with it and spoke to me in such a soothing way that I felt so much better. He only turned back in front of my gate.
Next I needed a book for an exam, he got it for me from a friend and dropped it off. We interacted on and off and got to know each other without him asking me out; he was so supportive. The day he did, I said yes because I already knew what he was about, a good man. So in his case, almost immediately.

Then, the case of my secret admirer. He saw me at an occasion and liked me. He got my number from a mutual friend and started calling me, right off the bat asking me for commitment. Pesin wey I no know, I refused!

So it was decided to wait till we could see face to face and to relate before then. It took months for us to see and when we did, we had already become somewhat chummy and my friend had spoken to me about him, so I felt more comfortable with him and he also got to really know me too. I wasn't in a relationship and to be fair to him, didn't go into any.
Note: If a guy didn't have potential with me, I wouldn't keep him hanging. I don't do that.

2 Likes

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by k2039(m): 10:17am On Dec 22, 2012
lola.luv:


It depends on the person.
There was this guy I knew. One day, I had a luggage (was supposed to bike) but decided to walk home with it so I could clear my thoughts as I had just lost my best friend in an accident and was depressed and sad.
This guy came to help me with it and spoke to me in such a soothing way that I felt so much better. He only turned back in front of my gate.
Next I needed a book for an exam, he got it for me from a friend and dropped it off. We interacted on and off and got to know each other without him asking me out; he was so supportive. The day he did, I said yes because I already knew what he was about, a good man. So in his case, almost immediately.

Then, the case of my secret admirer. He saw me at an occasion and liked me. He got my number from a mutual friend and started calling me, right off the bat asking me for commitment. Pesin wey I no know, I refused!

So it was decided to wait till we could see face to face and to relate before then. It took months for us to see and when we did, we had already become somewhat chummy and my friend had spoken to me about him, so I felt more comfortable with him and he also got to really know me too. I wasn't in a relationship and to be fair to him, didn't go into any.
Note: If a guy didn't have potential with me, I wouldn't keep him hanging. I don't do that.
I hate the fact that I have to agree with you, you are right and I agree with your point.

Real life situations are dynamic and so will be your approach.

2 Likes

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by k2039(m): 10:19am On Dec 22, 2012
ceewai lebi: It works in this
order.Joker,how-can-u-ve-sex-with-sum1-
without-trying-2-b-friends-with-dat-person
That shouldn't be to hard for you to figure, a prostitut.e will be the denominator to his post.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by Exponental(m): 10:59am On Dec 22, 2012
ceewai lebi: I-dont-get-u.Lez-say-u-see-a-girl-u-wanna-marry-now,U-just-marry-her-without-trying-2-b-her-friend-first? shocked;Are-u-serious?
if d op feels some steps need 2 be skipped, I rather advise he starts from d end.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by Nobody: 11:08am On Dec 22, 2012
IMHO, friendship before relationship is the best form of dating.it will afford you the time to get to know this person wella.get to know his flaws so that you can weigh the pros and cons and know if you can go ahead or not and if you guys are compatible with one another

many peeps that rush into relationships without knowing the individual later end up regretting when his/her flaws shows up.i prefer being friends with any gurl i wanna date before telling her how i feel about her.

1 Like

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by blazingtrain: 11:31am On Dec 22, 2012
Yes I do. usually it is the best.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by Hailedin9ja: 11:50am On Dec 22, 2012
I opened this thread because I have noticed that oft-times when a guy who is interested in a girl comes as a friend, he ends up being just a friend and gets stuck in the "friend zone".

I actually don't.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by Nobody: 11:50am On Dec 22, 2012
Ah.

So, "Love at First Sight" still exists?

How do you date someone you just met?

2 Likes

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by JamesLucia: 11:57am On Dec 22, 2012
just make a sentence, i can tell 40 percent of u. so, relationship straight no friend
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by AZeD1(m): 11:58am On Dec 22, 2012
Friendship first.
Being friends before dating saves you a lot a problems.

1 Like

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by paranorman(m): 11:59am On Dec 22, 2012
Hmmm...lots n lots of view. My opinion:
1. If u want sumtin more than 'just being friends', don't b friends for 2 long else u'd b stuck in d 'just being friends zone'...
2. Be natural:show what'r realy made up of,watch out 4 traits u might not like,don't b decived by that persona he/she shows...
3. Check if u'r compatible (if u'r in not 4 flings!).
4. Never pretend... Watch unnoticeably carefuly with scritiny! Men can b snakes and women can b cameleons!
5. If u realy wanna get the strings tied,pray. Yes,pray! I mean it, PRAAAAY!!!

3 Likes

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by nollywood20: 12:00pm On Dec 22, 2012
It would be best to put the horse before the cart, but sometimes the s*e*x comes even before you know about the opposite s*e*x.
Boy meets girl on Friday night and claims love at first sight which actually is lust at first sight and you are banging her till day break. grin
 
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by oraclefemi(m): 12:08pm On Dec 22, 2012
lola.luv:
Yes, I believe in being friends before dating.

Personally, I don't give my trust easily. It is earned and you earn it when I relate to you as a friend, seeing how you treat others apart from me.

That way, the roots of love grow deep in the fertile field of friendship.

Most times, we are all too quick in jumping into a relationship, then we find out nasty things about the person, we find out we are not compatible, the person is insultive etc and then we start thinking of how to quit.

But as friends, you access this person to see if their worthy to be let into your life.

Any guy that asks me out, I request we relate first as friends, but I give him a SPECIFIC time he could expect an answer.

Pretending is out of it because he doesn't know what I'm looking for. And I'm the type who can tell a person's character by hanging out with them a few times.

#myopinion.

terms and conditions because of a relationship, abegi
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by ypzilanti: 12:09pm On Dec 22, 2012
Better speak your mind early,oh. Before you waste time. If you want to be friends and it develops to something else, cool. But if you want a relationship, then are you really a good friend if you are pretending?
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by markus1133: 12:10pm On Dec 22, 2012
yes...
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by crackhaus(m): 12:11pm On Dec 22, 2012
Most of you might find this unbelievable but sex can also be a pre-requisite to a friendly like relationship(only if the lady involved is above 25), friendship comes naturally between two people who've shared a bed and communicated(questions & answers) during sex. Using myself as an example, I find a woman who wants me to chase, woo and impress her everytime we go on a date only to say our goodbyes after that for more than a month, to be sexually unavailable to me. Anything more than a month of dating and gettin to know each other will leave me stuck in the friend zone unless being 'just friends' is what I want.
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by paranorman(m): 12:13pm On Dec 22, 2012
oraclefemi:

terms and conditions because of a relationship, abegi
lmao....u got ma ribs crackd! So many theories.. In practise,most of these conditions don't hold... !

1 Like

Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by coolzeal(m): 12:13pm On Dec 22, 2012
Being a friend to a girl before asking her out for a date could ruin your friendship with her since she wont take you serious but just a friend. Get to know her first and if you are compatible.... Be courageous, straightforward, protect her comfort zone and ask her out. A little flirt like compliments is good though but not too much..
Re: Do You Believe In "Friendship Before Relationship?" by nairalady(f): 12:14pm On Dec 22, 2012
i do smiley

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