edelweiss: I have never being able to start from friendship to romantic, because I have never being able to switch on that thing. The moment I take u as a friend its friends for life.but when I think I want to date u, then I date and create friendship in the relationship.

jhydebaba: It works in this order...

1. S3x
2. Relationship
3. Friends

lola.luv:
Yes, I believe in being friends before dating.

Personally, I don't give my trust easily. It is earned and you earn it when I relate to you as a friend, seeing how you treat others apart from me.

That way, the roots of love grow deep in the fertile field of friendship.

Most times, we are all too quick in jumping into a relationship, then we find out nasty things about the person, we find out we are not compatible, the person is insultive etc and then we start thinking of how to quit.

But as friends, you access this person to see if their worthy to be let into your life.

Any guy that asks me out, I request we relate first as friends, but I give him a SPECIFIC time he could expect an answer.

Pretending is out of it because he doesn't know what I'm looking for. And I'm the type who can tell a person's character by hanging out with them a few times.

#myopinion.

lola.luv:


It depends on the person.
There was this guy I knew. One day, I had a luggage (was supposed to bike) but decided to walk home with it so I could clear my thoughts as I had just lost my best friend in an accident and was depressed and sad.
This guy came to help me with it and spoke to me in such a soothing way that I felt so much better. He only turned back in front of my gate.
Next I needed a book for an exam, he got it for me from a friend and dropped it off. We interacted on and off and got to know each other without him asking me out; he was so supportive. The day he did, I said yes because I already knew what he was about, a good man. So in his case, almost immediately.

Then, the case of my secret admirer. He saw me at an occasion and liked me. He got my number from a mutual friend and started calling me, right off the bat asking me for commitment. Pesin wey I no know, I refused!

So it was decided to wait till we could see face to face and to relate before then. It took months for us to see and when we did, we had already become somewhat chummy and my friend had spoken to me about him, so I felt more comfortable with him and he also got to really know me too. I wasn't in a relationship and to be fair to him, didn't go into any.
Note: If a guy didn't have potential with me, I wouldn't keep him hanging. I don't do that.

lola.luv:


It depends on the person.
There was this guy I knew. One day, I had a luggage (was supposed to bike) but decided to walk home with it so I could clear my thoughts as I had just lost my best friend in an accident and was depressed and sad.
This guy came to help me with it and spoke to me in such a soothing way that I felt so much better. He only turned back in front of my gate.
Next I needed a book for an exam, he got it for me from a friend and dropped it off. We interacted on and off and got to know each other without him asking me out; he was so supportive. The day he did, I said yes because I already knew what he was about, a good man. So in his case, almost immediately.

Then, the case of my secret admirer. He saw me at an occasion and liked me. He got my number from a mutual friend and started calling me, right off the bat asking me for commitment. Pesin wey I no know, I refused!

So it was decided to wait till we could see face to face and to relate before then. It took months for us to see and when we did, we had already become somewhat chummy and my friend had spoken to me about him, so I felt more comfortable with him and he also got to really know me too. I wasn't in a relationship and to be fair to him, didn't go into any.
Note: If a guy didn't have potential with me, I wouldn't keep him hanging. I don't do that.

dmcdad:
Friendship before relationship kor, friendship before relationship ni.

ceaser:
Na wa o. You dey vex fa.

dmcdad:

Guy! It's not as if I am perturbed or angered by this phenomenon, but the thing is; this is a pretty common theme in many romantic movies… You see the nice guy becoming friends with the girl….He does everything to keep her happy and eventually they fall in love and live happily ever after.

Now reality doesn’t really work that way, and in fact in reality it’s the exact opposite of what you see in the movies, because once you fall
into the “friends zone” the female will never see you as a potential lover.

In the end, you will always be considered as just a friend, and she will only treat you like one of her girlfriends in a male form and nothing more.

In fact, when you make your move or try to let her know that you are interested in more than just friendship, she would freak out and would most probably avoid you from that point on.

Fact- Never be friends with a woman if you want to be her lover.

SniperInADiaper: Only because they don't want to lose a good friend if the relationship goes bad.

dmcdad:

If the relationship goes bad? That is pessimism. That's balderdash to me. If I come for friendship, then we can be in for friendship. Nut if I come for a relationship and she ain't dispose to accept me, then we go our separate ways. What am I doing with a lady's friendship?

SniperInADiaper:
what if things change and you and your friend want to pursue a relationship?
Just because you are friends with somebody doesn't mean you can't be something else later.

lola.luv:
Yes, I believe in being friends before dating.

Personally, I don't give my trust easily. It is earned and you earn it when I relate to you as a friend, seeing how you treat others apart from me.

That way, the roots of love grow deep in the fertile field of friendship.

Most times, we are all too quick in jumping into a relationship, then we find out nasty things about the person, we find out we are not compatible, the person is insultive etc and then we start thinking of how to quit.

But as friends, you access this person to see if their worthy to be let into your life.

Any guy that asks me out, I request we relate first as friends, but I give him a SPECIFIC time he could expect an answer.

Pretending is out of it because he doesn't know what I'm looking for. And I'm the type who can tell a person's character by hanging out with them a few times.

#myopinion.

dmcdad:

Are you saying whenever you have a chance of going into a relationship with a guy, u be-cloud your mind with pessimism and premonitions

Buh, you will also agree with me that in often cases, friends from the outset might mean friends forever. What would a guy do at such juncture?

Don't you realise that there are dangerz that lie in being friends first especially on the part of the guy?

Please, see right through me and understand where I am driving at.

dmcdad:

Are you saying whenever you have a chance of going into a relationship with a guy, u be-cloud your mind with pessimism and premonitions

Buh, you will also agree with me that in often cases, friends from the outset might mean friends forever. What would a guy do at such juncture?

Don't you realise that there are dangerz that lie in being friends first especially on the part of the guy?

Please, see right through me and understand where I am driving at.

ceaser:
All your replies have actually mirrored my own side to the issue. I've had personal experiences of ladies using annoying terms to wash down guys' romantic relationships with 'em. A lady we've dated for about 9 months (s3x-free though ) gave me the shivers when she replied to my own "I love you baby" with her own version. Guess what it was? "I APPRECIATE you too" - trying to avoid the use of the L- word. What in the hell! Whatever that means. I simply told her- "girl, do i look daft to you? Cos I the last time I checked, love and appreciate doesn't share the same meaning". That point on I got suspicious and later discovered she was slugging it out with a US based eastern bro each time they both travel to the village december for the yuletide (I'm from south west).

Of course I nursed my wounds for few months and got off on another footing and tried to be closer home this time around. Well, I'd say the friend zone part was rather blurry cos we got to like each other almost immediately. Her cold feet again in six months and I was again battling to save my treasured relationship. Damning the effects on me, she broke up saying she needed SOME TIME AND SPACE to re-structure....whatever that means (I suspected she had to do this as she was going for NYSC and wanted a taste of the free life out there and i was still in my 5th year of a bloody 6yr course). Funny thing is she promised we could resume our odessey later on but wanted us to REMAIN AS FRIENDS while she "timed and spaced" it out, playing on my naivety and inexperience. Silly me, I called every other day for several months (oh my pocket money and feeding allowances, dang!). Through perhaps some act of divine providence, I broke free of her bondage and was free to have a promising relationship. In exactly two years after she came knocking, apologising and chanting the mantra - "CAN WE BE FRIENDS AGAIN?" wtf, we've never been enemies before, have we? "Friends" gini? Tufiakwa! This gender, or maybe most of 'em, don't seem to get tired of that line o' lyrics, do they? Friends ko, friends ni! Why make friends with a girl if not for a relationship. That's why the only female friend I'll always have will be my wife.

Abbey2sam:
Rubbbbish,starting as a friend will only make you a very good friend to that person, mostly with girls you end up in the friends ZONE.
While in the friend ZONE one sharp guy will just be phurking her pussy
......hahaha

SniperInADiaper:
what if things change and you and your friend want to pursue a relationship?
Just because you are friends with somebody doesn't mean you can't be something else later.

kagari:

End of discussion. U make sence die

k2039:

Gbamest.

Why on earth should I have to wait for a girl for a decade before she says yes(waiting is a big risk on it's own, when I'm not even sure she will say yes), besides she will get comfortable with being friends and friend zone me.