GISTville.com

She may seem charming and cute. Tall and Smart.

She may even be flirty and just the perfect girl you’ve been waiting for.

But is this new relationship leaving you confused and low on confidence?

She tells you she loves you, but the way she behaves seems otherwise. Is she using you?

Every now and then, you may meet a girl who seems to fit snugly into the dream definition of a perfect girlfriend.

But if you ever feel a flicker of confusion in those first few weeks, chances are, she’s using you or she’s just put you on her waiting list until she makes up her mind.

It’s frustrating to realize that you’re being used, even when you’re trying to be a great boyfriend or a sex buddy.

She may try to convince you that she truly loves you and wants to be with you, but five minutes later, her behavior may change and she may just act friendly all over again.

Ever been there? Read these signs below to find out if she’s using you.

#1 She wants her space… a lot!

Are you dating a girl who clings to you for a few days, and then completely ignores you for the next few days? While playing hard to get may excite a guy, this is pushing the game too far.

Every time she ignores you or pushes you away, you may find yourself falling more madly in love with her. On the other hand, she’s probably interested in a few other guys or sleeping with them, just to work out her options. When a girl claims to love a guy, and yet avoids the guy completely for a few days every now and then, there’s a good chance there’s another guy in her life.

#2 Behaves like a friend

Does your new girlfriend behave like a friend now and then? She hugs you and cuddles you, and then pushes you away and tells you it’s all happening too fast and she’s not ready for it?

Ouch! Any girl who behaves like a girlfriend but prefers to stay friends is obviously using your love and affection to feel better about herself.

#3 Her friends don’t know you

When a girl uses you, there’s a good chance you’re never going to meet any of her friends. But if you both do bump into a good friend of hers, does her friend even realize who you are?

And if you see her with a group of her friends and not one person recognizes your name, you’re in serious trouble of being played into a game of I’ll-suck-the-life-outta-you.

#4 You’re not introduced as a boyfriend

This is a no brainer here. But it’s something most guys in love almost always forgive and forget. Have you ever been introduced as just a friend? If she’s convinced that you’re the man in her life, she’d proudly display you like a primped up puppy in a dog show. But if she’s just using you, there’s a very good chance that you relationship status will remain as friends.

#5 She’s confused about your relationship status

Now she may be genuinely confused about the kind of relationship both of you share, especially if she’s just broken up with her guy or is still in a relationship with some other guy. But the point is she’s confused.

If she truly does love you, there’s nothing to be confused about unless she’s still in love with another guy. If that’s the case, you’re not the winner here. You’re the scapegoat filling up the blanks when her boyfriend or another guy doesn’t have the time for her. That hurts but its the fact.

#6 She talks about her complicated love life

Do you spend more time consoling her or telling her how the mistakes in her life aren’t really her fault? Girls who end up using guys are confused women who want to be reassured and loved all the time. She may be losing the love of her own guy, and may want you to reassure her about her own relationship and fill her life with happiness and extravagant gifts.

And yes, she wouldn’t mind cuddling up with you once in a while for all the nice things you’ve been doing for her. This is seriously messed up!

#7 She makes out but only when she wants to

You may sweet talk her and take her out to expensive dinners, beach, movies, shopping, high-class events, all in the hope of getting some love and appreciation back from her. And of course, a little bit of making out too.

But if you’re in love with a girl who’s using you, nothing really matters. She’d let you dance on hot coals almost all the time and make out with you only when she feels like it. She initiates it and she ends it, at her whims.

Her excuse: I’m still confused about my feelings for you/for my own boyfriend/the three other guys in my life.

#8 She dominates the relationship

Does she call you up whenever she feels like it, or asks you to meet her at her whims and fancies? A girl who throws her weight around a guy knows she’s already got him wrapped around her little finger. Don’t ever be that guy. DON’T! You’d end up shattered almost all the time and you’d lose all the confidence you have.

Turn the table around and throw her around a bit. Two things can happen here. She’d take you more seriously, or she’s walk out of your life. Either ways, it’s a good thing for you.

#9 She wants you to listen, but not the other way around

Are you in love with a girl who loves talking about her own life and her little problems? Does she tell you about how bad her ex boyfriend was and why she had to cheat on him just to show him she has other options? Or does she confess to you about making out with a few other guys and wants you to tell her she’s not wrong and that she did the right thing?

And on the other hand, every time you try telling something to her, does she forget all about it or feign drowsiness?

A girl who only wants to talk and feel good about herself isn’t in love with you. She’s using you as a priest to feel good about her own shortcomings. If she did love you, she’d be more interested to know about you and your life than whining about her own guilty confessions.

#10 She’s in another relationship

Almost always, relationships where the guy is being used starts off with conversations about complicated love lives. The girl you like may already be in a relationship, and with each conversation you have, both of you may fall more in love with each other. She wants to go out with you, she loves to talk to you, and she can’t wait to spend time and make out with you.

But she doesn’t want to leave her own boyfriend or end her relationship with him. She tells you she’s not happy, but she doesn’t do a thing about it.

If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs that you’re being used, you better walk out of the confusing affair before you end up with a broken heart. After all, she’s probably got a few backups with whom she’s playing the same game anyways.

She may not do this intentionally just to hurt you, it’s just that she’s a selfish little cutie who cares more about her own happiness than anything else in the world.

Is she using you? Yes/No?

So what do you do about it now that you know she’s using you?

You have two options.

Walk out of her relationship drama before you get hurt.

Lose the love and just start using her back. (Not Recommended). With any luck, by removing love out of the equation, there’s a good chance you’ll behave more like a bad boy instead of a lost puppy and make her desire you a lot more!

It’s easy for a girl to use a guy because both sexes are used to the ritual of a guy pursuing the girl. Sometimes, she may reciprocate and fall in love. At other times, she may just end up using you. So what do you think, is she using you? You’re thinking huh? Lol


Goodluck!!!

http://gistville.com/2013/01/gv-talk-is-she-using-you-how-to-find-out/

Ok. She's using me. Lol

@OP,realistic points u have there...plus 11.She asks for too much & gives too little-most especially when it concerns money matters. You remain a 'darling' as long as u pay her BIS,change her wardrobe,take her out every weekend...etc.once u stop providing,u stop existing. 12.Her friends become a responsibility as well-She brings them along during 'spending sprees' that u budgeted for her alone.

binger: @OP,realistic points u have there...plus 11.She asks for too much & gives too little-most especially when it concerns money matters. You remain a 'darling' as long as u pay her BIS,change her wardrobe,take her out every weekend...etc.once u stop providing,u stop existing. 12.Her friends become a responsibily as well-She brings them along during 'spending sprees' that u budgeted for her alone.

You're right. You have a point. But sometimes ladies that demand excessively might not be using you, they are just spenders. They may love you but can't curb their love for money as well. You just have shine your eyes well. Lol

mitchyy:
You're right. You have a point. But sometimes ladies that demand excessively might not be using you, they are just spenders. They may love you but can't curb their love for money as well. You just have shine your eyes well. Lol

lol...no doubt u are correct. But i believe whenever their love for u(their ATM) is wholly dependent on what u give them(finances),she is just using u. No one goes to a bank if there is no kobo in his account,so they stop loving u when u quit giving/spending lavishly.

What sef? Everything is SHE SHE SHE! Hw abt HE? Guys are guilty too! Wen a gal truly loves a guy,listenin to him witout mkin a complain or request..even a comment cos she is scared she doesnt want to hurt him,wat do u tink she is? Guys use gals too..so its 50-50..

If u wash her undies....bra , pant and maybe helping her to throw her used pad away.....she's using and cruising u.

Babytoony: What sef? Everything is SHE SHE SHE! Hw abt HE? Guys are guilty too! Wen a gal truly loves a guy,listenin to him witout mkin a complain or request..even a comment cos she is scared she doesnt want to hurt him,wat do u tink she is? Guys use gals too..so its 50-50..

Yes dear. I agree. Guys use girls as well. Its not a one-way thing. But this topic addresses the issue of a lady using her partner. There'll definitely be another topic on how to tell if a GUY is using you. For now, let them have all the fun *winks*

Lol i love this thread

binger: @OP,realistic points u have there...plus 11.She asks for too much & gives too little-most especially when it concerns money matters. You remain a 'darling' as long as u pay her BIS,change her wardrobe,take her out every weekend...etc.once u stop providing,u stop existing. 12.Her friends become a responsibility as well-She brings them along during 'spending sprees' that u budgeted for her alone.

As for that your number 12 i no fit laff abeg. My galfrnd na madam for that one.

Moschino26:

As for that your number 12 i no fit laff abeg. My galfrnd na madam for that one.

She might not be using you o. Hope you won't judge her with just that? Lol

I like the fact that the OP added his source

Mynd hav u sed ur prayers??

Dnt kare dnt call ,ouch!

No gift, cheap gifts, huh?

Ʊ beg to seeee ha? Quit.


Here is d real deal: live ur life and apply dese ha stunts back.

This are the positives Ʊ shld take from this write up:

That you r in luvv does not mean that you wudnt give d oda party some breathing space.

No matter haw hard, dnt go callin every naw and den. Ignore ha tot most tyms .


Live ur life and make ha miss Ʊ no matter haw close.

Dnt eva make ha feel you have all d time In the world ƒoя ha. Get busy. God and career first, Date odas if you may.

Dnt kare dnt call ,ouch!

No gift, cheap gifts, huh?

Ʊ beg to seeee ha? Quit.


Here is d real deal: live ur life and apply dese ha stunts back.

This are the positives Ʊ shld take from this write up:

That you r in luvv does not mean that you wudnt give d oda party some breathing space.

No matter haw hard, dnt go callin every naw and den. Ignore ha tot most tyms .


Live ur life and make ha miss Ʊ no matter haw close.

Dnt eva make ha feel you have all d time In the world ƒoя ha. Get busy. God and career first, Date odas if you may.


Kul to splash d cash . But is she worth it?

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So true.

mitchyy:
She might not be using you o. Hope you won't judge her with just that? Lol

No i wont. Its part of the things we do for love.

Moschino26:

No i wont. Its part of the things we do for love.

High Five!

I have been wondering ol this while. Hmmm so she is using me. CHIOMA! CHIOMA! Odi ka like Ego too much.

heed101: I have been wondering ol this while. Hmmm so she is using me. CHIOMA! CHIOMA! Odi ka like Ego too much.

Hahahaha! Nairalanders won't kill me with laughter

Jesox. This opekete has been using me all this while ooooo..... I'm breaking up first thing dis night

austin4real: Jesox. This opekete has been using me all this while ooooo..... I'm breaking up first thing dis night

Pele

mitchyy:
High Five!

This girl eh...the way you're protective over ladies when money is involved amazes me

She's definately using me.....I had better end the relationship before i get a nervous breakdown from emotional disaster.

Boys, hope una don hear

binger: This girl eh...the way you're protective over ladies when money is involved amazes me

Who? Me? *looks back*

She uses me I use her back...basically for the punnny

Looks like we use ourselves.

mitchyy:
Who? Me? *looks back*

*shows her a mirror to see who he's referring to*

zerocool: Looks like we use ourselves.

Are you serious? What's the point then?