me, i dont mind if a girl is playing hard to get. At least you know that you will finally get her. But if she give you blank face, do about turn and even toast her friend. You go see how drama go unfold

Well, I agree with number 1 a hundred and 22%!!! It is his frigging job to pursue me! If the feeling is mutual, we kick it off without much ado. I hate the feeling of asking. If the guy finds me attractive to date, he would ask himself and wouldn't wait for me to do his job.

After saying a YES to him, there is no need for shakara by both parties. That is why I don't totally agree with number 2.

How many gals fit folow these rules sef? If i like u & u dey form 4 me, i go jst free u. Anoda pretty, sexy, gud looking gal is always dere..afterall its abt in d inward beauty (character). #Abrahamic rules

Ok na. Make una de form and forget say women time de pass

AmBeautiful: I receive newsletters from an author (female not in Nigeria) on relationships. I decided to share this particular (topic) i recently received, i don't even know why. Read and be richly blessed!



What do you think? Are men being chauvinists by wanting their "old jobs" back? Or are they simplyi yearning to do what Mother Nature intended them to do? Now, I know many of you aren't married yet. I'm sure many of you are actually just getting started, meeting men and dating casually. That's okay. I just want to remind you that, as much as society may hate the idea, ROLES are important in a relationship. Yes, gender equality is good. But NOT in dating, and NOT in relationships! Here are a few "gender roles" that you might want to keep in mind as you meet new men:

============================== ==========
ROLE #1 - IT'S HIS JOB TO PURSUE YOU.
============================== ==========
Ever noticed how the more you chase a guy, the more he seems to run away? That's Mother Nature trying to remind you that it's HIS job to pursue you...not yours! Let me say that again: It's the guy's job to chase us. What's our job? Our job is to keep things interesting. Make the chase fun and make sure he knows the prize of catching you is worth the work. Besides, the best men out there are also the best pursuers. The weak men NEVER chase and wait for desperate, needy women to chase THEM. So don't chase or you might end up with a weak, lousy man by accident!

============================== ==========
ROLE #2 - IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO STAY IN TOUCH
============================== ==========
In the dating stages of your relationship, or when he's just starting to court you, it's HIS job to call you up, to e-mail you, to text you and basically stay in touch. Why is it HIS job? Because it's a sign that he's still chasing you. When he STOPS calling you up and staying in touch that means he's given up the chase. My advice? Feel free to NOT answer his calls right away, just to add a little tension and interest. But don't play with his feelings too much, or he'll start thinking you're not interested! Later on in the relationship, when you're already going steady, it's okay to call him up and initiate conversation. But when you're just starting out, don't jinx yourself!

============================== ==========
ROLE #3 - IT'S HIS JOB TO ASK YOU OUT
============================== ==========
I hope I've hammered it home hard enough! Again, let HIM do the chasing. It's his job to pursue you, it's his job to call you up, and it's HIS job to ask you out. Remember, in the dating game, the one who's being chased is the one with the upper hand. So don't devalue yourself by doing his job!

============================== ==========
DON'T SCARE AWAY HALF THE MEN YOU MEET!
============================== ==========
The 3 roles we discussed in today's Newsletter will help you out in the very beginning of your relationship. By simply keeping these 3 roles in mind, you'll avoid turning off half the men you meet!

My problem with these DO's & DONT's is ONE, When DO people start living, loving and enjoying life? If you heart and your mind tells you to call your boyfriend becouse you miss him you will not becouse some book says it's a DON'T? Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face and continue to produce miserable bunch of people. I tire ooo!

cindyrella: Nice.
I like

i know u must VOTE dat.

sweetcheecks:

My problem with these DO's & DONT's is. NE, When DO people start living, loving and enjoying life? If you heart and your mind tells you to call your boyfriend becouse you miss him you will not becouse some book says it's a DON'T? Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face and continue to produce miserable bunch of people. I tire ooo!

The article states when you both start going steady, you can then call and initiate conversation.

Personally, I agree with majority of the article. I try not to respond to texts or calls from suitors after 11 p.m.

fxxkin_heiress:

The article states when you both start going steady, you can then call and initiate conversation.

Personally, I agree with majority of the article. I try not to respond to texts or calls from suitors after 11 p.m.

But it says gender equality not good in dating or in relationships. Who gave responsibility to guys to call when they miss you, while when you miss him you can not call him? This is just another punishment to women? Sorry guys life is too short. AND love is a mistery, not formula has been found as yet but you connect and get attract to the one who.genuinenly loves you. It resonates or not with the person you are with.

sweetcheecks:

But it says gender equality not good in dating or in relationships. Who gave responsibility to guys to call when they miss you, while when you miss him you can not call him? This is just another punishment to women? Sorry guys life is too short. AND love is a mistery, not formula has been found as yet but you connect and get attract to the one who.genuinenly loves you. It resonates or not with the person you are with.

I understand your point of view really. Nothing in this article is 100% concrete but if a guy is truly interested in you, he'd know what to do.

fxxkin_heiress:

I understand your point of view really. Nothing in this article is 100% concrete but if a guy is truly interested in you, he'd know what to do.

In all honesty we women look very confuse we say we want to be partners with our men but then we turn and give away rights to something as simple as loving someone the best way you know how that will make you and him happy?

But yah girl, the struggles continues.

...so the chasing game has just begun.

You must have been watching too much Oprah and Jenny Jones show.
Things are changing dear, If you fancy him, go for it.

Poster, your tread title is misleading.

You picked a topic

A: analysed it on rule No. 1

B: demonstrated it on rule No. 2

C: summarised on rule No.3

Yet you made your readers to believe these are different set of rules where as you were trying hard to buttress the fact that it is the duty of men to seek the women in whatever forms of relationship

mudistr: for example i don try PM vivian chinanze, she no answer me.
wetin u wan make i do? make i pursue am go Bayelsa state then she still no answer me?

Girls no full your street?
To be forewarned is to be forearm

Never tell an NL guy its his job to spend money on a girl(even if its jus airtime) u will get them really pissed

hmmmmm.... does meeting in the middle really not work for you guys? I don't have a problem asking a girl out, but i cant stand chasing its just despicable.

# 2 is BS

sweetcheecks:

But it says gender equality not good in dating or in relationships. Who gave responsibility to guys to call when they miss you, while when you miss him you can not call him? This is just another punishment to women? Sorry guys life is too short. AND love is a mistery, not formula has been found as yet but you connect and get attract to the one who.genuinenly loves you. It resonates or not with the person you are with.

Jesus christ lady!

Why do you ppl see everything as a "punishment to women, or unfair to women" its driving me crazy how blind yall are. How does making men do all the work, having to show affection and buy shyte for a perfect stranger, somehow punishing women... u ppl think everything in the world is victimizing you. Can you just think about how silly this is?

All I can see in ur post is what his job is in the relationship. So what is your own job? To just look beautiful abi. I enjoy my girl calling me up and taking me on dates when she can. Some guys like attention too. Sorry but OP with this kind of mentality if I see u on the street I would only not chase you, I will RUN AWAY.

PS: Everyone knows the language of 80 percent of Nigerian girls is money. Become comfortable today and see if girls won't ask to visit you. A popular yoruba proverb says "owo la fi n shoko obinrin" which means It's money that you use to get a girl. Such a weird culture.

LastApostle: Poster, your tread title is misleading.

You picked a topic

A: analysed it on rule No. 1

B: demonstrated it on rule No. 2

C: summarised on rule No.3

Yet you made your readers to believe these are different set of rules where as you were trying hard to buttress the fact that it is the duty of men to seek the women in whatever forms of relationship

Apostle
Point of correction, dis is a newsletter I was sent that I decided to share.
Please read thoroughly before declaring

12 inches!:
All I can see in ur post is what his job is in the relationship. So what is your own job? To just look beautiful abi. I enjoy my girl calling me up and taking me on dates when she can. Some guys like attention too. Sorry but OP with this kind of mentality if I see u on the street I would only not chase you, I will RUN AWAY.

PS: Everyone knows the language of 80 percent of Nigerian girls is money. Become comfortable today and see if girls won't ask to visit you. A popular yoruba proverb says "owo la fi n shoko obinrin" which means It's money that you use to get a girl. Such a weird culture.

Sorry but is it really 12inches?

Anyway no be write am, I just shared. Abi is there no love in sharing again

Make una carry go. The girl that is lucky enough to catch the interest of a quality guy, if you like, dey play all this yeye game..
After he shifts focus to your competition and moves on with his life, shebi na cry you go dey cry for night?

If I find myself to be the only one calling, even before any relationship, it gets to a point where I just stop and see what she does. If she feels top big to check up on me, thats how I end up dropping pointless people from my life. When the silly thing gets tired and calls 3 months later fishing for interest, she will find NONE.

The last girl that over did this nonsense with me was shocked when I one day just lost interest (she said so later that she wished I persisted, to which I told her pretty much what I'm saying here).
Games are a turnoff to me. Either of 2 things come to mind, she isn't interested, or, she is too much of a coward to be true to herself and so instead relies on childish games...neither of which are attractive.

This kind of crap is akin to all these "how to control your woman" type magazines for men that usually revolve around playing mental jerk games. You all know that stuff is not universal and you could end up wrecking something very precious because you have such low self esteem you feel the need to indulge in pointless games to "trick" someone into liking you more....

binger: This is a bit dusty,i mean partially crap...In the 21st century,milleniums after the Dark age,Nature has made it that it takes two to tango. Those roles are selfish and a r/ship will rarely survive with these as a benchmark.

GBAM!.

I would say this is a receipe to create more lonely ladies.. serious.

this is the 21st century. no one has time for bullshit. its not a guy's JOB to pursue any lady, dont get it twisted. because we re showing affections and how much we care by calling, by buying gifts and all doesnt mean its our JOB to. we do it cause we think you are worth it. the moment you start thinking its our JOB, you just crossed the line. you are now ungrateful and unappreciative. if you think its our JOB, whats your JOB then? anyone who chases you is after something, better run fast. sides why is it called "women" that is WOO-MEN. so if its like that, y'all should start living your name and woo men. lol.....i believe if you cant chase me, sorry, i cant pursue you., it takes two to tango.

havent you guys learnt something yet? when some of you allow some of us to chase you, you turn it into a conquest, and when you finally give the price away, we loose sight of its worth. and then we look for another conquest. we can even chase 5 of you at thesame time and go with who ever says yes first. why cos while you re thinking you re adding value by running, we re thinkin you re loosing value by running cos you re just wasting time and time is a valuable resource, thus making you very wasteful. lol. so while you thinking you re running, remember there re 4 others just like you and naa first to stop win.

if you cant call and initiate a conversion, it simply means this: you re boring, you have nothing to say, so why should i waste my time calling you. if you cant stay in touch, you fall out of touch, who cares.

its not his JOB to ask you out. if you wanna go out, wetin do your mouth, why not ask.

some ladies should learn to STEP-UP abeg. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, DONT WAIT FOR IT, GO AFTER IT. after all when we want something, we go after it.

simply put, if you re interested in the guy, dont waste his time. if you re not interested, dont waste his time. if you waste another's time, yours will be wasted.

AmBeautiful:

Sorry but is it really 12inches?

Anyway no be write am, I just shared. Abi is there no love in sharing again

u believed it that is why you shared it. defend what you believed abeg and dont shift blame go the writer jo. after all, naa your box dem send am to. you say naa newsletter naa, you must have subscribed to it.

AmBeautiful:

Apostle
Point of correction, dis is a newsletter I was sent that I decided to share.
Please read thoroughly before declaring

You downloaded craps and uploaded without formal editing huh?

Alot of really good comments on here... i have a real personal vendetta with girls who play hard to get, i've lost a lot of good ones because it just drives me crazy. I regret hurting their feelings and also missing out on what could have been great relationships but... we all have to do our part to make this world a better place.

I mean, back when our dads were chasing women the girls were not dating anyone else... they were hard to get because they were dating one at a time and had to make the right decision, not for some silly power-trip. She was looking for a husband. Now we have to chase women who are quite possibly seeing other men, are not virgins, and expect to be taken to dinner every weekend.

Guys just think about the total amount of money you spent on your last girlfriend, why they hell should you be the one chasing her? No thank you, its an insanely unfair burden and i don't know why ppl keep justifing it.

why dont you just enjoy life and stop the do and dont nah many great relationship and marraige are berthed out of defualt why can we enjoy life most hollywood love stories are most times way out of the norm as for me he loves me and i love him how we chase each other matters less

U see when u say a man must chase u to prove he loves u then u r saying men don't need the love of women hence women shouldn't chase. For me a relationship is driven forward by efforts from both ends. Finding myself in a relationship were i do all d chasing,calling.... is unfair.
If u refuse to ask a guy out due to fear of rejection it is understandable. However refusing to make the first move cos u believe he will take u 4 granted or tarnish ur ego is not genuine. If u ask him out and he abuses his priviledge then get rid of him. Nobody is forcing u to ask but don't give selfish reasons to justify ur not doing it.

LastApostle:
Girls no full your street?
To be forewarned is to be forearm

lwkmd

Plarp:

Jesus christ lady!

Why do you ppl see everything as a "punishment to women, or unfair to women" its driving me crazy how blind yall are. How does making men do all the work, having to show affection and buy shyte for a perfect stranger, somehow punishing women... u ppl think everything in the world is victimizing you. Can you just think about how silly this is?

Love is not a job its a free gift. Why should men be the one to give love and work as uoi say it. With love or soo I believe the more you give love the more love yet get back. Sowhy restrict anyone from loving according to thir ability?

I hope you atleast read all my post befor being this emotional. Love is Godly everone is suppose to exersice it freelly.