maclatunji:

I just knew you were going to jump on that post. You are so predictable or do you want me to do a breakdown of your income and savings too?

By the way, she does not have to work her butts-off like you do.

You get what you work for. I work hard and I get paid hard. A lot of women make her total net worth in less than 2 months without stress. Just saying.

Some women have got their houses, not one not two. The hell some people can spend that money to buy themselves a car.

I feel so insulted and I need an apology right away

bukatyne: So I said 'I have a destiny to fulfill and will not take care of my family?' So I must choose between Professional Amazon and Super Mom? There is no balance between the two? I believe in living a very balanced life. Sorry to disappoint you; I can have IT all! So men have choosen to be Professional Amazons Over Super dad right? Like I say, Each man to his own.

sorry my dear you cannot have it all. Life is all about choices. I do not know if you are a mother yet or not, but if you are tell me you do not feel the guilt when you come home late - not necessarily because you were working late - but because of traffic or some other factor, the kids are asleep and the help has to tell you what Junior did or did not do...

honeychild:

sorry my dear you cannot have it all. Life is all about choices. I do not know if you are a mother yet or not, but if you are tell me you do not feel the guilt when you come home late - not necessarily because you were working late - but because of traffic or some other factor, the kids are asleep and the help has to tell you what Junior did or did not do...

So you say. Besides, you have not answered my question; are you a stay at home mom?

ileobatojo:

Honestly I'm rotfl at his post! It has to be some kind of joke. Sole assets of $100000k only? Once again rotfl!

100k ooo of assets, top that.

bukatyne: Why would a woman go to university when she knows she wants to be a housewife and not work at home mom? Thousands of people are looking for admission into the university and a girl gets admission, finishes and sits at home by her choice?

Imagine a father sending their daughter to good schools abroad and paying thousands of dollars per semester for them, then one man will expect these girls to hide their certificates inside their bottomless box. Opari

jennykadry: Why would a woman who is educated, want to sit at home and do nothing? I'm sorry I am not trying to be nasty but I just can't understand. I value my independence, I want to be able to purchase anything I want without a dime from my husband.

Yes I know they are lots of good men who take care of their sit at home wives, some even pay them salaries. We all receive money from our men but knowing that I have something going into my account as a result of my hardwork leaves me with a sense of pride. I wanna be able to purchase an LV shoe like Psquare with my own money without feeling like I am bugging my husband

I want to make a life with the education my parents blessed me with.

Stop writing rubbish.

A married woman should depend on her husband completely. How dare you talk about having your own money when you are married to a man?

If my husband is wealthy enough, I will sit my butt at home honestly. To hell with my degree!

coogar:

that's not the type of job the career women here are talking about.....working with the federal ministry? the career women here are talking about jobs that engage them all through the day. the bank jobs in nigeria. leave home at 5 am, come back home at 11 pm.

in that regards, 'v gat nathing to say to them than to wish them luck.

*SomeEventsAreBetterLeftExperienced*

bukatyne: What point did I refuse to acknowledge? Did I ever mention time or otherwise in my posts? What about men? How do they compensate their kids?

You said you are going to "have it all", that does not look like acceptance of deficiency in any regard to me. Now, as for men- Children need to know and accept that fathers are providers within a family, they work hard to provide for their family, women do not have to compete with men in this regard. However, many men do acknowledge that they have to spend time with their kids too and as such make allowance for such. I subscribe to this position.

I once had a very tough boss but as tough as he was, anytime his wife visited his office, he would leave the office with her as soon as she left. Every other thing could wait till the next day- if she didn't come, he would almost work you all to death.

fellis:
This actually made sense to you. Na wa o. So you would teach your female children to postpone child bearing till old age because you believe women are not supposed to work and train children at the same time?

in a sane world, females graduate by 21/22 - get into employment and work. by 30 - she should have enough to cushion the effects of when she would not work. fortunately for her,she would be staying in a city where pregnant mothers get paid during their maternity - so what exactly is the problem here?

What assurance do you have that they would get high paying jobs that would enable them save enough money in a short time and marry before old age? What assurance do you have that they would stay with their spouses forever and not divorce and then start trying to get jobs while raising small children?
What if the kids they have would turn out to be the kind of kids that would benefit more from spending time in the outside world away from their mother?

which kids benefit more staying with strangers where they are prone to abuse than their mother? pass that thing you are smoking to the left hand side. what assurance do i have that she would get a high paying job is the same thing as what assurance do i have that she wouldn't turn a lesbian. you can't just throw in these odd questions to suit your argument.

bukatyne: So your wife tells you 'baby, i don't babies now because I want to build my career' and you'll just say 'ok,' or what?

then i wouldn't have married her in the first place if there's a conflict of interest. be at your sharpest wit when debating.

stillwater: If my husband is wealthy enough, I will sit my butt at home honestly. To hell with my degree!

nigeria needs more women like you unlike the reverse thinking lots.
if a woman cannot spend her husband's money while raising his child, whose money would she spend? i am starting to think majority of the people arguing against stayathome mums are single mothers. they have no one's money to spend even if they want to.

coogar:
because they are rich does not mean their children had quality training. this is the yeye assumptions most naija people make. the rich also cry. a humble family in ojuelegba might actually have more family values drilled into them than dora or ngozi. this line of thought is disappointing from you.

dora ko, deborah ni.

LWKMD. When did I say that they were rich meant that their children had a better upbringing than the humble family in Ojuelegba?
Eye dey turn you?
It is possible that their children had a better upbringing and it is also possible that they didn't. Stop ascribing wrong interpretations to my posts.

jennykadry:

You get what you work for. I work hard and I get paid hard. A lot of women make her total net worth in less than 2 months without stress. Just saying.

Some women have got their houses, not one not two. The hell some people can spend that money to buy themselves a car.

I feel so insulted and I need an apology right away

Of course, but you refuse to acknowledge my point. A woman can earn reasonable income above many toiling for more than 12 hours a day and still have time for her children- that is my point. Or you are claiming to be Nigeria's richest woman? That women can be rich is not the point of discussion- Hahahaha

coogar:

that's not the type of job the career women here are talking about.....working with the federal ministry? the career women here are talking about jobs that engage them all through the day. the bank jobs in nigeria. leave home at 5 am, come back home at 11pm.

And you accuse others of pathological lying and dyslexia! Dear lord!

Before i get accused of consoling myself again(by the way am not YET a stay at home mum)is it too much to say that because I cant concieve MYSELF staying at home full time it means i should look down on a woman who does?

Why must we always OUR worldview should be another persons world view?I think the thread should stop being an argument of FOR/AGAINST.

Diff people,diff circumstances.

Just to add people tend to always look for faults in other people doing something different just to make themselves feel better.

@Jenny, I am sure you can read- topic says "Being a Nigerian Housewife". Not in whatever country you reside in which I know but won't mention.

Lol.oh boy I knew I was right guilt conscience

fellis:
LWKMD. When did I say that they were rich meant that their children had a better upbringing than the humble family in Ojuelegba?
Eye dey turn you?
It is possible that their children had a better upbringing and it is also possible that they didn't. Stop ascribing wrong interpretations to my posts.

you said in sarcasm that dora/deziani should be arrested for chasing their career - i simply implied you don't have any empirical evidence the kids had good upbringing. kids spending enough time with parents cannot be over-emphasized. nigerian parents mostly bribe these kids for the absence and pretend all is well. that is not proper upbringing...

ileobatojo:
And you accuse others of pathological lying and dyslexia! Dear lord!

in case you are dyslexic, go and read dayokanu's mini-drama on page 1 or 2 and come back here.

maclatunji: @Jenny, I am sure you can read- topic says "Being a Nigerian Housewife". Not in whatever country you reside in which I know but won't mention.

Nigeria oooo, uk ooo, America ooo. I no do housewife na by force?

coogar:

in case you are dyslexic, go and read dayokanu's mini-drama on page 1 or 2 and come back here.

Nowhere in Dayo's post did he say he wants women to work 5-11. But please don't let the facts get in the way of your demented ranting. Carry on.

coogar:
in a sane world, females graduate by 21/22 - get into employment and work. by 30 - she should have enough to cushion the effects of when she would not work. fortunately for her,she would be staying in a city where pregnant mothers get paid during their maternity - so what exactly is the problem here?

You really truly do not see any problem in your plan. Tsk tsk tsk.
Your daughter might want to go for masters and phd and this will shift that your age range up by about 3years.
Her fiance might want to get married right away after she graduates and this means that she will have to let go of the love of her life and work till age thirty something because daddy commanded her to do so.
And how many men these days do you see that are willing to marry a woman in her thirties? Majority of men want young girls in their early and mid twenties, not matured women that are approaching menopause.

which kids benefit more staying with strangers where they are prone to abuse than their mother? pass that thing you are smoking to the left hand side. what assurance do i have that she would get a high paying job is the same thing as what assurance do i have that she wouldn't turn a lesbian.

The kids get exposure and sharpen their social skills. Staying with strangers does not always translate to abuse and bad upbringing.

jennykadry:

Nigeria oooo, uk ooo, America ooo. I no do housewife na by force?

I am sending a petition to Oga to make you a housewife with immediate effect and alacrity.

Your kids need you.

cowgurl:

in that regards, 'v gat nathing to say to them than to wish them luck.

*SomeEventsAreBetterLeftExperienced*

LOL.

bukatyne: I don't like when people assume all wives should automatically be teachers/govt workers

too bad you see it wrong for a mother to do such jobs-they ain't, so long she's there for her family.
and if you wanna be a doctor or a lawyer, then go to school on time, gain some experience working in a hospital or a law firm as the case may be , then go ahead and be a one-woman-boss(since you ain't doing it for the money) before raising a family.

*sorry, gat to go now*

coogar:
you said in sarcasm that dora/deziani should be arrested for chasing their career - i simply implied you don't have any empirical evidence the kids had good upbringing.

Stop lying. You said I was thinking it and that way of thinking is disappointing on my part.

maclatunji:

You said you are going to "have it all", that does not look like acceptance of deficiency in any regard to me. Now, as for men- Children need to know and accept that fathers are providers within a family, they work hard to provide for their family, women do not have to compete with men in this regard. However, many men do acknowledge that they have to spend time with their kids too and as such make allowance for such. I subscribe to this position.

I once had a very tough boss but as tough as he was, anytime his wife visited his office, he would leave the office with her as soon as she left. Every other thing could wait till the next day- if she didn't come, he would almost work you all to death.

and the children can't be taught to accept the fact that the mothers have to fulfill their dreams?

@bukatyne
yes I am a stay at home Mum. I was a professional woman till I had my first kid.... and I was darned good at my job too. I finished school at the top of my class. But when I had my daughter I just knew there was no way I was going to let anyone else raise her for me. I quit my job.

Just last August I ran into my old boss at the airport and he was still offering me my job back. But not just yet.

Kids need their Mums. That is my firm belief. And when my friends who are working Mums are honest they agree. No woman who has has to drop a 6 month old baby at day care ( or worse leave her at home with Ekaette) will tell you she feels no guilt. But I am fortunate. I do not need to work. Staying at home with my kids is a luxury. And I am thankful for it.

stillwater: If my husband is wealthy enough, I will sit my butt at home honestly. To hell with my degree!

In Nigeria How many men are WEALTHY enough in your definition? Probably less than 5%

So that means less than 5% of men can afford housewives

cowgurl:

too bad you see it wrong for a mother to do such jobs-they ain't, so long she's there for her family.
and if you wanna be a doctor or a lawyer, then go to school on time, gain some experience working in a hospital or a law firm as the case may be , then go ahead and be a one-woman-boss(since you ain't doing it for the money) before raising a family.

*sorry, gat to go now*

And where did I say it's wrong? I said 'Must all mothers be...'

bukatyne: Why would a woman go to university when she knows she wants to be a housewife and not work at home mom? Thousands of people are looking for admission into the university and a girl gets admission, finishes and sits at home by her choice?

Yes your daughter who copped a loan of $100k to be a Neurosurgeon, Lawyer, Engineer, Pharmacist etc, schooled for 10yrs should be a Housewife cooking, cleaning and washing clothes

bukatyne: and the children can't be taught to accept the fact that the mothers have to fulfill their dreams?

My dear embrace your femininity, don't run away from it. Nothing outside the love of God can beat a mother's love for her children. That implies some degree of sacrifice.

It is not by gra-gra, it is with wisdom, perseverance and the Grace of God that you will get there.

I fear for the thoughts that run through the heads of young ladies of these days. Very little patience.

honeychild: @bukatyne
yes I am a stay at home Mum. I was a professional woman till I had my first kid.... and I was darned good at my job too. I finished school at the top of my class. But when I had my daughter I just knew there was no way I was going to let anyone else raise her for me. I quit my job.

Just last August I ran into my old boss at the airport and he was still offering me my job back. But not just yet.

Kids need their Mums. That is my firm belief. And when my friends who are working Mums are honest they agree. No woman who has has to drop a 6 month old baby at day care ( or worse leave her at home with Ekaette) will tell you she feels no guilt. But I am fortunate. I do not need to work. Staying at home with my kids is a luxury. And I am thankful for it.

And they don't need their dad? Everyman to his own. All the best

jennykadry:

100k ooo of assets, top that.



Imagine a father sending their daughter to good schools abroad and paying thousands of dollars per semester for them, then one man will expect these girls to hide their certificates inside their bottomless box. Opari

Lady I put this to you that there's no age where a woman cannot continue her career. Case study : My wife is 26 at the moment By the time she's done with having kids she's at most 30 meaning the very last of the children will be okay to look after his/herself(with the help of his/her older siblings) by the time he/she's 10. Is 40yrs old too late to start or continue a career?? I'm just not going to let my young kids be left on their own or with strangers just so I can have a bit of extra money especially when its not like I'm poor or struggling. We are not rich but we are not poor either. I like it that way. Like someone said earlier I don't mind gving up few luxuries for this.

Having said that each to his/her own and what works for me may not work for others. But I'm not telling anyone to give up entirely on their career. Just hold off a bit. And I don't think staying at home is being lazy as well. I wouldn't switch places with a fulltime mum any day. Please give them credit too its a damn hard job!!

honeychild: @bukatyne
yes I am a stay at home Mum. I was a professional woman till I had my first kid.... and I was darned good at my job too. I finished school at the top of my class. But when I had my daughter I just knew there was no way I was going to let anyone else raise her for me. I quit my job.

Just last August I ran into my old boss at the airport and he was still offering me my job back. But not just yet.

Kids need their Mums. That is my firm belief. And when my friends who are working Mums are honest they agree. No woman who has has to drop a 6 month old baby at day care ( or worse leave her at home with Ekaette) will tell you she feels no guilt. But I am fortunate. I do not need to work. Staying at home with my kids is a luxury. And I am thankful for it.

Awwww... this is so sweet. Where is my tissue?

*Sniff...sniff*