A housewife is usually a married woman who does not have an external income, or she just does not earn as much as she would if she worked outside the home. Having a career or not is one of those topics that can get educated and socially-aware women up in arms, the debate being whether career women can be good mothers, and how much housewives contribute to the economy.

For this reason, a lot of stay at home wives and mothers will tell you, "I did not plan to be a housewife", but in my case I actually did. I mean we did, my husband and I. Let me start from the beginning. I am one of those never say never kind of people, I try to remain adaptable, and not to think in absolutes. For instance, it was never taboo in my mind for a woman to choose to be a housewife, the key word being choice. If a woman gets married and decides to stay home, either for the husband or the children, who was I to judge? Especially if it is working for their family?

Now I am a housewife, and I can only try to make it work for me too. Any other housewives in here? How do you work it?

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2013/01/how-to-be-stay-at-home-wife-or-mother.html

Not a housewife and I don't really think there is anything innately wrong with being one but I would like to ask a question. Do you have a financial plan B; or do you feel the need to have one? How will the passage of time affect the feasibility of your plan B, if any?

Unless they are also mothers or have some other large responsibilities, i think they are pretty lazy.

I mean cooking these days can be very quick. I guess you could make it an extensive all day process. . .but

really most working people pick up after themselves and cook for themselves just fine.

What's she going to do all day? Dust the counters?

It seems more likely that he'll be working all day so she can do a couple of chores and relax the rest of the time.
That doesn't seem very fair to me.

Myne White: A housewife is usually a married woman who does not have an external income, or she just does not earn as much as she would if she worked outside the home. Having a career or not is one of those topics that can get educated and socially-aware women up in arms, the debate being whether career women can be good mothers, and how much housewives contribute to the economy.

For this reason, a lot of stay at home wives and mothers will tell you, "I did not plan to be a housewife", but in my case I actually did. I mean we did, my husband and I. Let me start from the beginning. I am one of those never say never kind of people, I try to remain adaptable, and not to think in absolutes. For instance, it was never taboo in my mind for a woman to choose to be a housewife, the key word being choice. If a woman gets married and decides to stay home, either for the husband or the children, who was I to judge? Especially if it is working for their family?

Now I am a housewife, and I can only try to make it work for me too. Any other housewives in here? How do you work it?

http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/2013/01/how-to-be-stay-at-home-wife-or-mother.html

I think a lot of it also depends on one's financial circumstances and family size / needs. Not every woman can afford to stay at home.

It's a lot easier being a housewife with just one baby / toddler compared to being one with a large brood of older children.

In many cases, you find situations where one person's income isn't enough to keep the family afloat so the other person/partner's got to chip in. There are other factors that need to be taken into consideration too such as striking a balance regarding child care arrangements - especially if very young children are involved.

At the end of the day, it's up to each family to decide what suits them best...

minute: Unless they are also mothers or have some other large responsibilities, i think they are pretty lazy.

I mean cooking these days can be very quick. I guess you could make it an extensive all day process. . .but

really most working people pick up after themselves and cook for themselves just fine.

What's she going to do all day? Dust the counters?

It seems more likely that he'll be working all day so she can do a couple of chores and relax the rest of the time.
That doesn't seem very fair to me.

The bold are Gospel truth. Being a housewife is pure laziness. What would one be doing at home from 7am till 4pm washing plates for how many people? Is it a restaurant? Sweeping for 8 hours? or what

Its pure laziness for anyone to do that.

And those kind of women would now claim they should have equal stake in the marriage when they were no better than the furniture just sitting down doing nothing

Financial Plan B? I'm guessing the spouse income?

Anyways OP ; whatever works for your family, I don't see why not? Study have shown good influence ( development and character ) on home school kids

... if you're willing to homeschool your kids to save expenses and other financial burden for your spouse to balance your living, why not .

@minute lol it doesn't sound fair to me either but who cares? they're not gonna ask you for help? ... or you talking bout your taxes they mostly live on via welfare? ... well I have a problem with that too.

^^ I dont think Homeschooling is best for any kid.

One they miss out of the very necesary social skills they need to develop and are unduly sheltered from the world they would still go to later (Unprepared though)

How much can a mother know unless she is a trained teacher herself.

How many housewives can teach children Algebra, Arithmetic, Calculus, CHemistry abi how dem go do that one

@ ileobatojo, thank you, one of d reason i cant and wont be a full housewife.


@post, each to his own, what works for A might not work for B, if you think it can work for you and you/your hubby have taken decision on that, then, goodluck, i sincerely wish you well.

But as for me.........its Hell NOOOOOOOOOO no matter how wealtyh my hubby is, i cant accept,,,,,if hes s wealthy, let him equip me and set up my own business for me....in my name.........abeg, anything can happen anytime, we dont pray for bad things but they do happen, so, when d unexpected happens, and im a full housewife, where and how do i pick myself up? Anything can happen, d man may go bankrupt, d business can be ablazed, when it seems things go wrong, im suppose to fill d vacuum, but how do i do that when i have to completely rely on d man for every needs of mine and d children.

dayokanu: ^^ I dont think Homeschooling is best for any kid.

One they miss out of the very necesary social skills they need to develop and are unduly sheltered from the world they would still go to later (Unprepared though)

How much can a mother know unless she is a trained teacher herself.

How many housewives can teach children Algebra, Arithmetic, Calculus, CHemistry abi how dem go do that one

Dayo I know it's impossible too but who knows she might be a teacher ...a qualified teacher/ tutor is used for homeschooled kids in North America sef and I think it's not free.... I only said that cos kids school fees weigh most in household expenses....or what will she be doing at home for 8hrs?

I would not necessarily be one but who am i to question what works for another couple.
I think its unfair to term all women who dont 'work' as lazy.Esp in the west sometimes some people have too many kids and childcare costs might mean they might not be able to afford working sef.When i mean work i mean in the 9-5 organised labour sense.

I dont recommend though just sitting home twiddling your thumbs.Be productive.Volunteer at local charities.Learn a skill.Do something other than cook and clean.Believe me i have been at home for 10 months with my baby and some days i just want to scream(days i feel have just passed by). .Cant imagine doing this full time.Its harder ,at least going to and from work i had time to myself on the train,during my lunch hr

dayokanu: ^^

How many housewives can teach children Algebra, Arithmetic, Calculus, CHemistry abi how dem go do that one

Easy, Peasy, Lemon, Squeezy - minus Chemistry.

Neither of us likes the other and the feeling's mutual!

jidegirl12:

Dayo I know it's impossible too but who knows she might be a teacher ...a qualified teacher/ tutor is used for homeschooled kids in North America sef and I think it's not free.... I only said that cos kids school fees weigh most in household expenses....or what will she be doing at home for 8hrs?

School fees weigh most but there seems to be no substitute unless you want to breed ignorant kids. Its even better to attend public schools than home schooling

What she would be doing at home for 8hours? Ask the housewives, Sleep till 12noon wake up watch the shows She would have recorded to watch, Real housewives of everywhere, Keeping up with the Kardashians, Nollywood etc. By 3 she goes out to gossip with the neighbour about who is phuccking who in the neighbourhood.

At 5 warm the food in the fridge for the family to eat when they come back put clothes in washing machine, plates in dish washer and goes back to sleep

In the process becomes grotesquely obese while the husband is really disgusted by her dependent attitude admire his hardworking female colleagues at work and phuccks the sexxy colleagues at work while the fat lazy sleaze complain that men are bad " Why cant you love me in slimness in obesity"

Dayo I dropped my drink on my papers laughing like crazy ( jeez )... that's one Hell of super story ! My belle o!

But on a serious note Homeschooled kids rocks too

dayokanu:
The bold are Gospel truth. Being a housewife is pure laziness. What would one be doing at home from 7am till 4pm washing plates for how many people? Is it a restaurant? Sweeping for 8 hours? or what

Its pure laziness for anyone to do that.

And those kind of women would now claim they should have equal stake in the marriage when they were no better than the furniture just sitting down doing nothing

there's nothing wrong being a full housewife....
someone must take care of the kids - i wouldn't object if my spouse wants to be a stay-at-home mum. it would be for our collective benefit as long as my income can take the burden. i have more respect for a woman who is a good mother, a woman who makes her kids her priority over a selfish working woman!

coogar:

there's nothing wrong being a full housewife....
someone must take care of the kids - i wouldn't object if my spouse wants to be a stay-at-home mum. it would be for our collective benefit as long as my income can take the burden. i have more respect for a woman who is a good mother, a woman who makes her kids her priority over a selfish working woman!

Impressed!!! Especially @ the bolded. There are those that simply, for whatever reason, cannot wrap their minds around the fact that both parties actually benefit from a woman that stays at home (as long as it is agreed on by both).

greatgod2012: @ ileobatojo, thank you, one of d reason i cant and wont be a full housewife.


@post, each to his own, what works for A might not work for B, if you think it can work for you and you/your hubby have taken decision on that, then, goodluck, i sincerely wish you well.

But as for me.........its Hell NOOOOOOOOOO no matter how wealtyh my hubby is, i cant accept,,,,,if hes s wealthy, let him equip me and set up my own business for me....in my name.........abeg, anything can happen anytime, we dont pray for bad things but they do happen, so, when d unexpected happens, and im a full housewife, where and how do i pick myself up? Anything can happen, d man may go bankrupt, d business can be ablazed, when it seems things go wrong, im suppose to fill d vacuum, but how do i do that when i have to completely rely on d man for every needs of mine and d children.

Bless you. For me, all that's not a risk I'm willing to take. Zero income of my own? Can't do it.


Again, if that arrangement works well for a couple and they are both comfortable with it, I can't knock them. I would recommend solid risk management strategies though!

ileobatojo:
Impressed!!! Especially @ the bolded. There are those that simply, for whatever reason, cannot wrap their minds around the fact that both parties actually benefit from a woman that stays at home (as long as it is agreed on by both).

of course, there are many men who seem to think a woman who is not bringing in any income is lazy or a parasite but they forget raising kids is more than a 9-5 job. personally, i don't think anyone should have kids if they intend to push those kids to someone else to be raised when they are infants. if anyone cannot afford to put 30 hrs/ week(excluding weekends)to raise their kids then they should get a very effective contraception like vasectomy or the IUD string.

i doff my hat to all the full housewives out there who sacrificed their career to raise their kids!

coogar:

if anyone cannot afford to put 30 hrs/ week(excluding weekends)to raise their kids then they should get a very effective contraception like vasectomy or the IUD string.

So you would basically like to sterilize around 90% of family section nairalanders eh!! Okay o!

ileobatojo:
So you would basically like to sterilize around 90% of family section nairalanders eh!! Okay o!

if that is what it would take then so be it.......
we take loads of stuff for granted in africa and when kids turn out weird, we blame familiar spirits and the market witch whereas there was little or no time for the parents to bond with their kids in their formative years. no amount of wages can replace the bonding time spent with kids when they are young - ignore that and the salary people chase aggressively would be spent on that kid when he becomes a menace to the neighbourhood.

@ ileobatojo, bless you too.
Go to this thread and see what we are just talking about, d woman in question was a fulltime housewife b4 death snatched her hubby away, read what becomes of d woman thereafter.......a big lesson for we women there.

https://www.nairaland.com/1177967/widow-confesses-m-now-lovepeddler#14055080

coogar:

if that is what it would take then so be it.......
we take loads of stuff for granted in africa and when kids turn out weird, we blame familiar spirits and the market witch whereas there was little or no time for the parents to bond with their kids in their formative years. no amount of wages can replace the bonding time spent with kids when they are young - ignore that and the salary people chase aggressively would be spent on that kid when he becomes a menace to the neighbourhood.

Oh stop being over dramatic. It's called work life balance. Working families have been doing it for years. Successfully.. If you have a child that you note needs more of your attention, then by all means, address that and do what you must, but I don't agree that all children need a parent around for 30 weekday hours a week to turn out right! Where are you getting this figure from abeg?

ileobatojo:

Oh stop being over dramatic. It's called work life balance. Working families have been doing it for years. Successfully.. If you have a child that you note needs more of your attention, then by all means, address that and do what you must, but I don't agree that all children need a parent around for 30 weekday hours a week to turn out right! Where are you getting this figure from abeg?

True that.

Plus, being a working mum does not necessarily entail being out the house everyday of the week in pursuit of the provobial 9 - 5 job. Many women work part-time, especially if they've got very young children...and, there's always the option of working from home.

It's called flexible working and many employers offer similar arrangements to working mums...

ileobatojo:

Oh stop being over dramatic. It's called work life balance. Working families have been doing it for years. Successfully.. If you have a child that you note needs more of your attention, then by all means, address that and do what you must, but I don't agree that all children need a parent around for 30 weekday hours a week to turn out right! Where are you getting this figure from abeg?

That's why most kids people turn out to be 1d1ots; inadequate to total lack of parental care and attention. 6hrs hours a day is NOT enough.

greatgod2012: @ ileobatojo, bless you too.
Go to this thread and see what we are just talking about, d woman in question was a fulltime housewife b4 death snatched her hubby away, read what becomes of d woman thereafter.......a big lesson for we women there.

https://www.nairaland.com/1177967/widow-confesses-m-now-lovepeddler#14055080

Abi o! Is it not the same Nigeria where one can't talk freely about death. If that wife had brought up the subject of what would happen to her and her kids if the husband died while he was still alive, they will call her a witch that's plotting to kill her husband for his money. It's 'I reject it (death) in Jesus name' we'll be hearing even till their final minutes on the death bed.

coogar:

if that is what it would take then so be it.......
we take loads of stuff for granted in africa and when kids turn out weird, we blame familiar spirits and the market witch whereas there was little or no time for the parents to bond with their kids in their formative years. no amount of wages can replace the bonding time spent with kids when they are young - ignore that and the salary people chase aggressively would be spent on that kid when he becomes a menace to the neighbourhood.

@ coogar, in as much as you are making a lot of sense here, we all know how tedious, time-consuming and sacrificial parenthood, especially, motherhood is, that is why i always encourage wives to go for less-time consuming jobs...........that is what i did, instead of me staying at home completely without any personal source of income.
It wont be out of place for women to also be independent a little, it wont be bad if women arent part of d liabilities of d home, it wont be bad if both couple assist each other in their respective responsibilities, it wont be bad if iron sharpens iron, it wont be bad if when husband falls, d wife raises him up, it wont be bad if both of them rely on each other, instead of one continuosly relying on d other. As for me, dear, i love my hubby beyond that, i dont want loads of responsibilities to kill him early.
For those who are full housewives, its not a bad idea if your hubby can afford it and at d same time, it wont be bad either, if you have one business opened for you in your own name.........paradventure.........
May God help us all.

ileobatojo:
Oh stop being over dramatic. It's called work life balance. Working families have been doing it for years. Successfully.. If you have a child that you note needs more of your attention, then by all means, address that and do what you must, [/b]but I don't agree that all children need a parent around for 30 weekday hours a week to turn out right! [/b] Where are you getting this figure from abeg?

no wonder the society has broken down completely.....
look around you and see what today's kids are like. father is at work for 12hrs, mother is also at work for 14 hrs and the kids are with aunty caro and uncle okoro. there's no way the lack of attention and the lack of parental care won't tell on these kids no matter how normal they seem to appear. this is just common sense - 6 hrs per day(monday to friday) is not even enough when you break it down.

ileobatojo:

Abi o! Is it not the same Nigeria where one can't talk freely about death. If that wife had brought up the subject of what would happen to her and her kids if the husband died while he was still alive, they will call her a witch that's plotting to kill her husband for his money. It's 'I reject it (death) in Jesus name' we'll be hearing even till their final minutes on the death bed.

I just read that story and the first thing that came to mind was this:

Didn't that woman receive any formal education at all? Was she such a complete "leech" to her husband to the point where on his demise, the only thing available to her was pr0st!tut!0n

St00pid story!

coogar:

no wonder the society has broken down completely.....
look around you and see what today's kids are like. father is at work for 12hrs, mother is T work for 14 hrs and the kids are with aunty caro and uncle okoro. there's no way the lack of attention and the lack of parental care won't tell on these kids no matter how normal they seem to appear. this is just common sense - 6 hrs per day(monday to friday) is not even enough when you break it down.

All the parental care you lacked during the hours you attended school (from age 3, I must add) and after school lessons and what not, did that make you a broken down member of society?

greatgod2012:

@ coogar, in as much as you are making a lot of sense here, we all know how tedious, time-consuming and sacrificial parenthood, especially, motherhood is, that is why i always encourage wives to go for less-time consuming jobs...........that is what i did, instead of me staying at home completely without any personal source of income.
It wont be out of place for women to also be independent a little, it wont be bad if women arent part of d liabilities of d home, it wont be bad if both couple assist each other in their respective responsibilities, it wont be bad if iron sharpens iron, it wont be bad if when husband falls, d wife raises him up, it wont be bad if both of them rely on each other, instead of one continuosly relying on d other. As for me, dear, i love my hubby beyond that, i dont want loads of responsibilities to kill him early.
For those who are full housewives, its not a bad idea if your hubby can afford it and at d same time, it wont be bad either, if you have one business opened for you in your own name.........paradventure.........
May God help us all.

see, as long as the job a woman does is not affecting the time spent monitoring the kids then by all means do so. there are many stay-at-home-jobs women can engage in. once the kids are old enough to start school, she can then re-enter into employment with shorter hours. it's important she's at home shortly before/after school closes. children want the attention of their parents more than the money the parents chase aggressively just because they wan to keep up with the joneses. if care is not taken, that child would destroy the assets acquired via working round the clock!

ileobatojo:
All the parental care you lacked during the hours you attended school (from age 3, I must add) and after school lessons and what not, did that make you a broken down member of society?

me ke?
i was a proper mummy's boy.....she had to stay with me for 2 weeks when i started school. i could not cope with her leaving me in the hands of strangers and some unruly rugrats screaming in my ears. after 2 weeks, i copped 2-3 playmates and she became free of my wahala. even with that, she picked me up from school immediately after school, fixed my lunch and ran through my homework with me. how can i place a price on that? who could have done that better than my mum?

But 'working' might not necessarily mean being away from home naa Haba its not till i knack suit and ten inch heels that means am contributing to the home.As i said earlier in my opinion staying home is sometimes harder than going out to work.

You want to try wanting to place an order online when your crawling baby somehow gets to the router (i wonder how he fit into that corner) and voila you lose internet connection and someone outbids you before. you set it all up again .

I advocate for having some sort of income(any sort of TOTAL financial dependency on another humam being is not too wise) but someone has to be there to make time for the kids.Whether we like it or not truth is its harder when both mum and dad pull typical full time hrs.I have done it with one child and its not easy talkless of those that do with a couple of children.

I doff my hat to those super women.As for me i no fit.Flexible/part time work all the way.

Efemena_xy:

I just read that story and the first thing that came to mind was this:

Didn't that woman receive any formal education at all? Was she such a complete "leech" to her husband to the point where on his demise, the only thing available to her was pr0st!tut!0n

St00pid story!

Lol! It's all part of it now. After using all her years that she could have used to build something for herself/get form of education/develop a skill to be a full time housewife, how will she wake up one day and start balancing spreadsheets? When her grey cells have been exchanged for cobwebs due to inactivity, she's now left with the path of least resistance. (Likely being unscrupulous too doesn't help)

ileobatojo:

Lol! It's all part of it now. After using all her years that she could have used to build something for herself/get form of education/develop a skill to be a full time housewife, how will she wake up one day and start balancing spreadsheets? When her grey cells have been exchanged for cobwebs due to inactivity, she's now left with the path of least resistance. (Likely being unscrupulous too doesn't help)

that story is rubbish jor....
even when the man died, no gratuity or pension? they had no savings at all to sustain the family or who is going to buy such bullshit? this is not nollywood - the woman should speak the truth what she's done with the money the husband left for her. who says a full housewife cannot run her business from home. if she has a mini-shop not far from home where she sells crates of coca-cola, she would get by easily.......if you believe that yeye story, i don't!