jennykadry:

There is this well known politician whose wife is a working class lady. He once said that his wife is someone that cannot be idle and needs to face challenges everyday because it helps with her "IQ". The man is in support of it cos he reckons his wife staying at home can be damaging to her intelligence at this stage. 90% of her salary goes into charity. Tell me how much that woman makes that the husband should rely on? A man that can get 100,000 dollars in a day? What will he use her money for?

There are men out there that appreciate the fact their wives do not want to remain idle but busy one way or the other. Like Steve Harvey said, don't hate the player, change the game

Insufficient info. This your politician how old is he?? I bet the kids aren't young any more so your point exactly??

Morayo747: Insufficient info. This your politician how old is he?? I bet the kids aren't young any more so your point exactly??

For privacy reasons that's all I will say.

BABE!:

Kini n wi?

A "theory" is focusing on making your child your number one priority? A "theory" is working tirelessly towards making your child your number one priority?

A theory is something you've not put into practice. Simple.

Do you have kids? Have you been a working mum or a stay at home mum? If you haven't, you're spouting theory and nothing else - when you've actually 'been there and done that', then your opinion may carry more weight.

Why then is there even an argument? One is better than the other, kapish! Now, that's the reality!

But it isn't - one isn't better than the other. Denmark has 74% of mothers in work, not being housewives and it is producing better outcomes for children than other countries like the UK or the US with higher percentages of housewives.

The truth is that you cannot generalise what is better for any two cases - it depends on the individual circumstances, societal pressures and the views of those involved.

coogar:

don't mind that quack witchdoctor......some of the herbs she cooks for her clients is making her high. one of the ingredients of her latest discovery contains marijuana leaves

Don't hate the player! Here, have some herbs!

except that those 2 brain cells process more information than the fluff in your cranial cavity. i am streetsmart and booksmart, ileoba - you just look smart!

Who is a stay at home mom, again?

debosky:
A theory is something you've not put into practice. Simple.
Do you have kids? Have you been a working mum or a stay at home mum? If you haven't, you're spouting theory and nothing else - when you've actually 'been there and done that', then your opinion may carry more weight.

bollocks!!!
in other words, only the married folks can have an opinion about what works better? the money spent on your education should have been used for pig farming in gbongan!

But it isn't - one isn't better than the other. Denmark has 74% of mothers in work, not being housewives and it is producing better outcomes for children than other countries like the UK or the US with higher percentages of housewives.

are they producing better outcomes of children than saudi arabia where more than 80% of the women are stayathome mums? be at your sharpest when you are debating and stop throwing useless statistics in our faces!

The truth is that you cannot generalise what is better for any two cases - it depends on the individual circumstances, societal pressures and the views of those involved.

yes, you can - it's common sense....
having one parent stay at home with the children can be cost-effective and a great investment in the emotional well being of your entire family. having a parent stay home and work a part-time job, while still caring for a child, gives a family the best of both worlds and you can take that to the bank!

debosky:

A theory is something you've not put into practice. Simple.

Do you have kids? Have you been a working mum or a stay at home mum? If you haven't, you're spouting theory and nothing else - when you've actually 'been there and done that', then your opinion may carry more weight.

Okay, so because I'm not a certified cook, I can't give an opinion about food?
What the French are you on about?

debosky:
But it isn't - one isn't better than the other. Denmark has 74% of mothers in work, not being housewives and it is producing better outcomes for children than other countries like the UK or the US with higher percentages of housewives.

Mothers. . . mothers to 30 year olds or mothers to 5/10 year olds? How many percentage of the 74 are mothers to matured kids? What year was this "survey" taken? Where did you get it from? Does the same stat. apply to every other country compared to Denmark?

debosky:
The truth is that you cannot generalise what is better for any two cases - it depends on the individual circumstances, societal pressures and the views of those involved.

Okay. Lemme sum this up;

A has a Nokia 3310, B has an iPhone5. B tells A his phone is top notch that A should try getting it. A tells B to fûck off with his yeye fragile phone. . . "my phone came out before yours. apple na copy copy sef. they don't have original ideas. I actually prefer the samsung galaxy."

Does that change the fact that apple is Berra?

Like I said, even the poor call the rich arrogant.

I don't know how not having enough time for your kids can be better than having enough time for them. Please provide an example of such very rare situation. . . give me something to work with here.

15 pages on and you guys are still slugging this thing out?

BABE!:

I don't know how not having enough time for your kids can be better than having enough time for them.

because its a bitter pill to swallow for most of them that their parental skills are wack..

nobody(especially nigerians) would admit their methods are wack - this is why i enjoy oyibo forums. they would admit their ways are not the best but they cannot help it - but a nigerian would argue with you till he's blue in the face that nokia 3310 is better than iphone because he cannot afford the iphone.

there's nothing wrong in holding one's hands up that if one had a wish, they would love to spend more time with the kids. we all get it - not everyone can afford having one stay at home parent but don't rubbish the method because its unaffordable!

debosky:

A theory is something you've not put into practice. Simple.

Do you have kids? Have you been a working mum or a stay at home mum? If you haven't, you're spouting theory and nothing else - when you've actually 'been there and done that', then your opinion may carry more weight.



But it isn't - one isn't better than the other. Denmark has 74% of mothers in work, not being housewives and it is producing better outcomes for children than other countries like the UK or the US with higher percentages of housewives.

The truth is that you cannot generalise what is better for any two cases - it depends on the individual circumstances, societal pressures and the views of those involved.

Debosky, have you also experienced any of these things you are talking about?

honeric01:
Debosky, have you also experienced any of these things you are talking about?

of course!
he's been everywhere - he's been through everything he's argued for/against on this forum. he's been in the white house too!

I have been at both ends of the spectrum. I was looking for job until my baby was 4 months old. You wont believe the kind of liberties that people will take with you. Any family member that was coming into Lagos expected that i shhould go and pick them from the airport (cos i have nothing better to do abi?). My husband stopped that one immediately (how can i carry a newborn and be driving round). People expect that you have nothing to do except solve their issues.
I got requests like "help me pick up jnr from school, please help with my baby's immunisation, etc".

I was always doing housework, carrying a clingy baby, cooking and generally being pissed off with the world. Thank God for work and its associated benefits. Anytime, i feel very frustrated at work and i want to just resign and be a stay at home mum, i remember those days and buckle up. I can't be a houewife cha cha. All the stammering when they ask what i am doing now or i see my classmates.

This is me sha.

coogar:

of course!
he's been everywhere - he's been through everything he's argued for/against on this forum. he's been in the white house too!

Actually, what uncle debosky is saying is that he should not be taken seriously on most issues. His opinions don't deserve no attention or respect. Heck, his opinions don't even make sense to him, coz all na theory.

BABE!:

Okay, so because I'm not a certified cook, I can't give an opinion about food?
What the French are you on about?

Who denied you an opinion? Did you actually read what I said? All I've said is that your opinion is theory.

To use your analogy, I would have higher regard for the opinion of someone who has actually cooked and eaten filet mignon compared to someone who has only seen it in a cookery book.

Mothers. . . mothers to 30 year olds or mothers to 5/10 year olds? How many percentage of the 74 are mothers to matured kids? What year was this "survey" taken? Where did you get it from? Does the same stat. apply to every other country compared to Denmark?

I'm not trying to prove one is always better than the other - all I've shown is that it can be better dependent on all the factors involved. To generalise that one is better in all cases is quite foolish - that's the point here.

I don't know how not having enough time for your kids can be better than having enough time for them. Please provide an example of such very rare situation. . . give me something to work with here.

Again with the silly extremist view - working is not equivalent to not having 'enough time' for your kids, neither is being a housewife equivalent to having 'enough time'.

Interesting thread. Nothing wrong with being a housewife for like 2-4yrs. It can also be a time when the woman can improve on her work skills, and acquire new skills or run a business to supplement the income (Who knows what you can even set up in those 2-4yrs, you may not even need to go back to work again.)
Once the kids are in school, I will be back at work. But when they are babies, I can stay home. This has already been agreed. But I am too independent not to have any source of income coming from somewhere sha. . I know someone who was making more money at home, than she could ever make working. She was also working harder at home.

honeric01:
Debosky, have you also experienced any of these things you are talking about?

This isn't about me per se - as I've clearly not tried to force my opinion on anybody. It's about getting people to act rationally after weighing the evidence instead of dogmatic attachment to one view.

coogar: bollocks!!!
in other words, only the married folks can have an opinion about what works better? the money spent on your education should have been used for pig farming in gbongan!

No - what I am saying is that reality beats fantasy every day of the week. I can have an opinion on what type of propulsion technology is best for getting to Pluto, but only a phool would take my opinion over a rocket scientist who has actually designed working propulsion systems.

yes, you can - it's common sense....
having one parent stay at home with the children can be cost-effective and a great investment in the emotional well being of your entire family. having a parent stay home and work a part-time job, while still caring for a child, gives a family the best of both worlds and you can take that to the bank!

Again, it depends on the circumstances involved, there's no one size fits all. That's all I'm trying to say.

BABE!:

Actually, what uncle debosky is saying is that he should not be taken seriously on most issues. His opinions don't deserve no attention or respect. Heck, his opinions don't even make sense to him, coz all na theory.

debosky has a rotten luck to have been born in the wrong century!
he's too old and slow-paced for our generation. just look at his denmark stats? only 15% of saudi arabian women are in their labour force and they don't produce hooligans as well. who compares mega multicultural countries like usa/uk to denmark/finland in terms of what their kids turn out to be. it's like comparing the moral decadence in lagos to a typical nigerian village..........by default, lagos' crime rate would be 100 times higher.

debosky:
No - what I am saying is that reality beats fantasy every day of the week. I can have an opinion on what type of propulsion technology is best for getting to Pluto, but only a phool would take my opinion over a rocket scientist who has actually designed working propulsion systems.

ok, let's take it back to the drawing board.
assuming you are a father as we speak.....do you wish you spend more time with your kids? yes or no?

Again, it depends on the circumstances involved, there's no one size fits all. That's all I'm trying to say.

i agree but those who work themselves to death also wish they could spend more time with their kids. the fact is you cannot spend too much time with your kids. the more time you spend with them, the better.

BABE!:

Actually, what uncle debosky is saying is that he should not be taken seriously on most issues. His opinions don't deserve no attention or respect. Heck, his opinions don't even make sense to him, coz all na theory.

Opinions are a dime a dozen - talk is cheap. I don't expect anyone to give my opinion more regard than it deserves - it is up to the reader/observer to place a value on my opinion.

I don't follow the approach (that some do) of thinking that shouting the same nonsense repeatedly and forcefully somehow gives it greater value than the real-life experiences of others.

debosky:

This isn't about me per se - as I've clearly not tried to force my opinion on anybody. It's about getting people to act rationally after weighing the evidence instead of dogmatic attachment to one view.

Na, i don;t think you're being truthful with this, read your [b]posts [/b]again, actually you're the one trying to make people think only the way you think.

you talk as if you have tasted both scenario before, even when someone gives examples, you challenge their examples like you actually experienced it before.

To me, None of these 2 is completely bad. (let's even say 3)

I HAVE EXPERIENCED ALL BEFORE (not as the parent but as of the children).

When she didn't work at all.
When she worked as a work-from-home mom
When she worked as a working mother.

Now she's back as a work from home mom (63yrs) because she's always enjoyed this.

Not working at all is boring and laziness at its peak but if you have enough to keep you busy and at the same time earn from these "unusual work" things, then what's wrong with it?

I still remember the difference between when she didn't work at all, when she worked from home and when she worked from the office and the difference can't be compared.

Working from home takes the lead
followed by not working at all
before working in the office ONLY IF THE WELFARE OF THE CHILDREN IS PUT INTO CONSIDERATION AND THE OVER-ALL BENEFITS OF THE FAMILY except if there's no REAL BREAD winner in the house.

coogar:
debosky has a rotten luck to have been born in the wrong century!
he's too old and slow-paced for our generation. just look at his denmark stats? only 15% of saudi arabian women are in their labour force and they don't produce hooligans as well. who compares mega multicultural countries like usa/uk to denmark/finland in terms of what their kids turn out to be. it's like comparing the moral decadence in lagos to a typical nigerian village..........by default, lagos' crime rate would be 100 times higher.

Saudi Arabia produced Bin Laden and the 9/11 bombers while Denmark produced LEGO and C++ programming - go figure.

Northern Nigeria with predominantly stay at home mums produced Boko Haram.

The Connecticut shooter's mum was a stay at home mum.

If I was arguing as daftly as you are, the above would be evidence that stay at home mums = raising crazy, unbalanced murderers.

debosky:
Opinions are a dime a dozen - talk is cheap. I don't expect anyone to give my opinion more regard than it deserves - it is up to the reader/observer to place a value on my opinion.

I don't follow the approach (that some do) of thinking that shouting the same nonsense repeatedly and forcefully somehow gives it greater value than the real-life experiences of others.

hehehehehene - debosky has turned from a scientist to a philosopher in one fell swoop!

debosky:
Saudi Arabia produced Bin Laden and the 9/11 bombers while Denmark produced LEGO and C++ programming - go figure.

isolated case!
compare the crime rate in both countries and lets have a proper debate!

Northern Nigeria with predominantly stay at home mums produced Boko Haram.

south-western nigeria with predominantly working mums have the highest crime rate in nigeria.........armed robbers, kidnappers, pröstitutes, etc. why won't they? if only the parents stay at home more to monitor their kids.

The Connecticut shooter's mum was a stay at home mum.

lawrence anini's mum was a working mum. jefferey dahmer's mum is a working mum. james holmes'(batman shooter) parents are fully employed.

If I was arguing as daftly as you are, the above would be evidence that stay at home mums = raising crazy, unbalanced murderers.

no, you are arguing daftly cos none of us has said women should just stay at home and take weed. we have emphasised spending quality/quantity time with the kids in their formative years.

debosky:

Who denied you an opinion? Did you actually read what I said? All I've said is that your opinion is theory.

To use your analogy, I would have higher regard for the opinion of someone who has actually cooked and eaten filet mignon compared to someone who has only seen it in a cookery book.

what are you still on about? That's not an analogy.. It's completely different from what I said. What is good is good; across the board( especially when it's comes to having time for your kids).

Holding an opinion of someone that doesn't have a choice but to work tirelessly 9-6 in higher regards? Sweet!!
Now please help me ask your people, if given the chance, if given the opportunity not to work as much or work at all and focus on their kids, would they go with it?

Mind you, don't ask them in the presence of their enemies (housewives), they won't tell the truth. Ask them
privately. . . and come back with your results.

debosky:
I'm not trying to prove one is always better than the other - all I've shown is that it can be better dependent on all the factors involved. To generalise that one is better in all cases is quite foolish - that's the point here.

Debosky, give me a situation where not having time for your kids is better than having time for them, biko. Coz you keep talking some invisible factors.

debosky:

Again with the silly extremist view - working is not equivalent to not having 'enough time' for your kids, neither is being a housewife equivalent to having 'enough time'.

Lord a mercy!!!

I don't need to spell this out na. When I'm talking about a housewife, I'm talking about a woman that knows her duties!!!
When I'm talking about a working mum, I'm talking about a workaholic!!! The kind of mum that would miss her 2 yr old's recital because she has to travel to Abuja at 6am on Monday morning.

Fûcking duh!

Even if those aren't the cases. . . still, give me a situation where less time is better. At Least one.

BABE!:


what are you still on about? That's not an analogy.. It's completely different from what I said. What is good is good; across the board.

It is a valid analogy - empty opinion can never trump real life experience. Never.

Now we're shifting goal posts - we're only talking about 'workaholics' not all working mums. Heck why don't we only talk about 'irresponsible housewives' who spend all their time shagging their neighbours' drivers instead of looking after their kids?

This was a general discussion comparing housewives with working mums and the merits/demerits therein, not some narrow subset you're (belatedly) trying to create.

honeric01:

Na, i don;t think you're being truthful with this, read your [b]posts [/b]again, actually you're the one trying to make people think only the way you think.

you talk as if you have tasted both scenario before, even when someone gives examples, you challenge their examples like you actually experienced it before.

I've simply said people shouldn't get too caught up with a view that they fail to consider the realities of their circumstance. If I want people to consider their circumstances before deciding, then yes, I would prefer people think that way rather than saying 'I'll never be a housewife' or 'I'll never be a working mum' just based on theory.

As for the example I challenged, I think it was a valid challenge in the sense that saying 'I will do x and y' is completely different to saying 'I have done x and y'. The latter is a valid example, while the former is only an intention which may/may not be realised.

debosky:

It is a valid analogy - empty opinion can never trump real life experience. Never.

Now we're shifting goal posts - we're only talking about 'workaholics' not all working mums. Heck why don't we only talk about 'irresponsible housewives' who spend all their time shagging their neighbours' drivers instead of looking after their kids?

This was a general discussion comparing housewives with working mums and the merits/demerits therein, not some narrow subset you're (belatedly) trying to create.

.

Lol! Debosky, you okay? You've had your vitamin pills??

You really think I've been arguing for useless housewives ?

Oga, go and sit down. Your time is up in this argument.

BABE!:

Abi? The case of a woman lurking around the neighborhood with wrapper tied around her chest, eating everything in sight and gossiping with her crew while her unkempt child is in the house crying for hours with mucus dripping from his nostrils, is not valid in this argument.

We are taking about a housewife that knows her main job; to take care of her kids!!

debosky:

Now we're shifting goal posts - we're only talking about 'workaholics' not all working mums. Heck why don't we only talk about 'irresponsible housewives' who spend all their time shagging their neighbours' drivers instead of looking after their kids?

Lol!

Working mom = jetsetting, workaholic.
Stay at home mom = work 8-3, then pick up kids from school.

Keep it coming I says... keep it coming. The 'Ki ni n wi?' quip is just classic. Honeric01, I dey hail O.

Jenny, I say: 'go back to the basics, your roots.' stop toiling away for a few thousand dollars. Your kids are worth so much more.

ileobatojo:

Lol!

Working mom = jetsetting, workaholic.
Stay at home mom = work 8-3, then pick up kids from school.

Ileobatojo, don't you just secretly wish you were a housewife?
Lounging with your kid/s? Having a good time with them? Have your whole life centered around them? Don't you just wish you have that luxury to worry less about when your next pay check will emerge, because its all about your kids? Arggh!

Life sucks, doesn't it ?!
Not everyone will have the iPhone5, some will be stuck with Nokia3310 till Jesus comes, but at least, lets be honest with ourselves.
If you keep basking in your "my nokia3310 is better than an iphone5", the dude next door that had the plan to give you an iphone5 as a gift will change his mind, because he'll think you don't want it, meanwhile na lie. . .

Nigerians and their "ako"!!

BABE!:


Ileobatojo, don't you just secretly wish you were a housewife?
Lounging with your kid/s? Having a good time with them? Have your whole life centered around them? Don't you just wish you have that luxury to worry less about when your next pay check will emerge, because its all about your kids? Arggh!

Life sucks, doesn't it ?!
Not everyone will have the iPhone5, some will be stuck with Nokia3310 till Jesus comes, but at least, lets be honest with ourselves.

Lol!

You will not be happy until we are all forced to brag eh! Don't worry, I'm not yet willing to go down that route. But please, carry on if it makes you happy. Who am I to get in the way of your deluded pleasure.


Working mom = jetsetting, workaholic.
Stay at home mom = work 8-3, then pick up kids from school.

ileobatojo:


Lol!

You will not be happy until we are all forced to brag eh! Don't worry, I'm not yet willing to go down that route. But please, carry on if it makes you happy. Who am I to get in the way of your deluded pleasure.
Working mom = jetsetting, workaholic.
Stay at home mom = work 8-3, then pick up kids from school.

Honesty is key!

15 pages later.............................

ileobatojo:
Lol!

Working mom = jetsetting, workaholic.
Stay at home mom = work 8-3, then pick up kids from school.

And she has the effrontery to ask me about vitamins?

I should be asking her about her temazepam and ritalin pills.