I've always wondered why some of us guys lock down ladies for so long in the name of "dating"?
Some for as long as 7 years with nothing to show (not even ring), given a thread I just responded to.
More so, why are this ladies allowing themselves to be locked down like this?

She would have been approached by other very ready men, but because she is in a "relationship" and she wants to be "faithful", she keeps them at arms length....until they move on along.

The sad fact is if at the end of all that, he decides not to go further and the thing ends, you then get thrust back out into the market...possibly a bit over-due past your prime, now trying to compete with younger girls.
God help you if this "relationship" of yours took you past 30 with no solid plans.

The only way I can stay in a relationship that long is, if I started daring the guy when I was 14 or 15.

I often wonder at girls who are in such relationships, them strong sha.

Brothers, I consider this just pure wickedness. Never start anything exclusive with a lady that you know you can't finalize or terminate within AT MOST 3 years.
Anything past that is being selfish.

This is how frustrated, old, single women are born. It's not always that they "messed around" in their youth.
In fact, the ones that messed around know that they are at least there because they were enjoying themselves, and so have less regrets.
Better that than someone who was decent and faithful only to be dragged thru one long thing and dumped at the end of it.
It's just sad.

Looking at things from these lens, I do feel for women. It's not easy, but everyone has got to make REAL decisions.
And that means by judging the guy based on how soon-ish he would be able to commit to serious things.

They ain't being chained or caged the last I checked.

Awwww. She left huh buffie?

Mrs.Chima:
Awwww. She left huh buffie?

Most people who read my thread wouldn't come to this conclusion as a taunt
It makes no sense. I guess you're just special that way.

\she is always free to walk but why did she choose to stay? not the guy's fault if you ask me

2buff: Brothers, I consider this just pure wickedness. Never start anything exclusive with a lady that you know you can't finalize or terminate within AT MOST 3 years.
Anything past that is being selfish.

This is how frustrated, old, single women are born. It's not always that they "messed around" in their youth.
In fact, the ones that messed around know that they are at least there because they were enjoying themselves, and so have less regrets.
Better that than someone who was decent and faithful only to be dragged thru one long thing and dumped at the end of it.
It's just sad.

Looking at things from these lens, I do feel for women. It's not easy, but everyone has got to make REAL decisions.
And that means by judging the guy based on how soon-ish he would be able to commit to serious things.

Society has changed. Women marry and divorce at will what the big difference.

Is the woman in the relationship a learner?

REALITY101: They ain't being chained or caged the last I checked.

don't mind the kid, he's confused. There's a clear difference btw datin and courting

I feel ure pain op,but that is life. Almost made my first love a victim, locked her down from 2003 to 2011. Though we loved each other to pieces, i knew deep in my heart dat i would not b ready when she was 'set' and thus 'encouraged' her to find some1 else. Now she has a fiance and stil hates mi 4 bailin out though understood why.

some girls decide to lock themselves, if the guy is not ready then babe move on, we keep saying is the mans fault not considering that there must been another babe that was coming for the guy to and the girl did not allow him also , we only complain here because most times the guy is the deciding factor

It's not like the woman is being forced to remain in the r-ship. True, it's selfish for a man to lead a woman on when he knows there's no future with her, but women themselves need to shine their own eyes and realize when a r-ship is not going anywhere.

If you started dating the guy when you were 14, and then married him at 22, that is allowed. But in a situation where you started dating him when you were 25, and he still hasn't waved a ring in your direction after 5 years, then you are seriously a learner

The truth is this- Most of the women in this situation did not find a man as good as or better than their current man to marry. Human beings are inherently selfish by nature. We always look out for our selves. I assure you if she had found someone good enough she would have bailed. Now this goes for the men too most times you keep a woman for this long because you are hoping to find something better. Longer throat dey worry una. When a man finds a woman he has strong feelings for, who meets most of his needs he is always in a hurry to take her to the altar. Everybody knows this.

And sometimes the man is not in a good place financially or emotionally so he does not have the courage to add someone else to his plate of worry. Sometimes the woman just loves and believes in her man enough to wait for him. Some men are deceivers, some are confused they can't make up their mind,some are afraid of commitment in all these what stops the woman from putting herself and her needs first (not in a selfish way though)before acting the Florence Nightingale script with the man.

Somehow we can tell if 7 years will lead to the altar.However it is NEVER advisable for a woman to keep all her eggs in one basket when the basket looks as if it might come apart which is why ladies keep your legs closed to avoid unnecessary attachment to the wrong person and in the event of having done the deed it still doesn't mean you stay there even when your senses tell you to move it. Why play the victim? you are not that helpless. Same goes for the men when its time to move it, move it.

2buff:

Most people who read my thread wouldn't come to this conclusion as a taunt
It makes no sense. I guess you're just special that way.

Special and extremely smart. Winks.

Come here buffie let me kiss ur forehead. Feel better suga?

Boy meets girl in the 1st year of uni(State school), 4 years turns to 6 because of strike, Nysc adds one more year, then they both go for Masters in the US which takes 2 years. So 6 + 1 + 2 = 9 years.
OP whose fault is that?

I ask myself this same question... A guy and a girl in a relationship for more than two yrs... I don't like such at all.... I don't roll like that anyways... My limit is just a year and we go our separate ways since it won't lead to marriage... @post not only to the men.. But, the women also... Why allow themselves to be on locked down for long?

aww, how sweet of you to care about 'em ladies. Guys, quit being selfish and stop locking them ladies down ;>

cowgurl: aww, how sweet of you to care about 'em ladies. Guys, quit being selfish and stop locking them ladies down ;>

The girls should get wise and stop being silly

The ladies also have the choice to walk away from such a relationship. If the ladies choose not to exercise that choice, the men shouldn't be blamed for it.

Na gurls wey wan wait now...! Me i date one year,if i see no prospects.. I move on..

Mynd_44: The girls should get wise and stop being silly

too bad most of them are unwise, hence, they fall preys and learn the hard way.

cowgurl: too bad most of them are unwise, hence, they fall preys and learn the hard way.

And I stand in a corner laughing at them

Mynd_44: And I stand in a corner laughing at them

hahahaha-quite laughable indeed.

A-ZeD:
Boy meets girl in the 1st year of uni(State school), 4 years turns to 6 because of strike, Nysc adds one more year, then they both go for Masters in the US which takes 2 years. So 6 + 1 + 2 = 9 years.
OP whose fault is that?

The system is cruel

cowgurl: hahahaha-quite laughable indeed.

It is funniest when they then go to the guys they turn down begging them for a chance

Flytefalls:
The system is cruel

l don't think so nne m.

cowgurl: aww, how sweet of you to care about 'em ladies. Guys, quit being selfish and stop locking them ladies down ;>

were you locked with a hand cuff?...why can't the ladies leave when they're tired of the relationship?.aint you the same type that do scream, LOVE CONQUERS ALL THINGS, LOVE IS ENDURING blah blah blah?.so what's wrong in her staying faithfull to the guy/girl even if the relationship doesn't end up in marriage?.she chose to stay for a reason and if didn't end well, we blame the person at fault which can be either the male or female.it aint gender specific!!


Haven't you seen a situation where a guy breaks up with a girl and she keeps coming back, even trying to frustrate any girl he's dating at the moment?

@OP, it aint guys fault...relationship breaks up..some last, some don't...sometimes it's the guys fault, sometimes it's tha ladies fault.it aint gender specific

hey you up there,

I do not have a problem with what the poster posted, on the contrary, I do appreciate his concern.
secondly, you were right-I do believe in love but for your info, I also do believe it ain't blind-couples need to be wise while dating whoever they choose to and yes at the same time-take blames when @ fault(no gender bias)

and yeah, ' v seen such scenarios played out where girls do such crap-truth is it's saddening and maddening that all I wanna do is give them a wake-up slap.

so you see, you got me all wrong-so next time, you look carefully before leaping so you don't incure my wrath...

ikekings: I ask myself this same question... A guy and a girl in a relationship for more than two yrs... I don't like such at all.... I don't roll like that anyways... My limit is just a year and we go our separate ways since it won't lead to marriage... @post not only to the men.. But, the women also... Why allow themselves to be on locked down for long?

Shaddap mumu!