[quote author=pweetymama]i love this.Op,discuss with him again.tell him u want to start something no matter how little.men like their ladies looking sexy.come on dear,r u sure u r not losing ΰя looks?though it can be threatening to them but sincerely they love it.[/quote
yea i do dress n look sexy

chaircover:

Lool I just saw this . . .you are crazy I tell you

Ah ah been waiting for you now!

chaircover: Most people are focusing on the financial situation but have we put a thought into maybe the man has just had enough and has just fallen of of love. . . It does happen. We all say that marriage isn't a do or die affair and people do fall out of love. Sometimes there are major reasons and sometimes its just a gradual thing and one party wants out.

That he is paying school fees and bought a car doesn't mean that he loves you and wants to be with you till his teeth fall out. Infact he can carry on showing you and the world that all is hunky dory until God forbid the day he packs out.

My advise to you . . . call him and have a deep heart to heart and open your inner ears of understanding to listen very well and try to get to the bottom of what has caused/causing him to make those statements and as a first step try and work with that.

as per the car thing, many men buy cars in their own names in Nigeria . . . I dont know why! maybe the seller automatically puts the name of whoever is paying for the car on the receipt and that gets registered I dont really know. Lets not forget that it wasn't a gift persey. Its just an additional family car. If they had 10 cars and he bought her another for her birthday, then that is a gift, but I wouldn't consider a second car in the family as a gift unless maybe he was upgrading what she had before as a surprise.

The man falling out of love? Why na!
He must fall back in love o until I get my degree and self sufficient then we can both have our marriage is not by force action.

After stopping work just to have our babies, na now you know say marriage is not by force! It must be o!

[quote author=troubledSoul][/quote]@OP,chair cover is so on point.Have a heart to heart talk with ya hubby.

chaircover:

LOL vikin

seriously, though if love goes out, then resentment is able to come in, and if one is not careful, God forbid abuse can come in too.

You should know the church song that ask God, why must I go empty handed!

OP, this case, you try and resolve it with hubby but always remember, you must not go empty handed o.,

Wish you the best!

chaircover:

LOL vikin

seriously, though if love goes out, then resentment is able to come in, and if one is not careful, God forbid abuse can come in too.

I think initially in a relationship is when people experience fiery love of I would kill myself for you, I would stab myself if you leave me, after fight We would fucckk every 3 hours in the sink, on the TV laugh hysterically etc

As they grow, it turns more into calm friendship and companionship where they both work together for a common good, then arguments reduces everyone tolerates the other. The fights are less frequent and the make up sexx too less frequent

Its not like Love is diminishing its just that Love is getting more matured.

dayokanu:

I think initially in a relationship is when people experience fiery love of I would kill myself for you, I would stab myself if you leave me, after fight We would fucckk every 3 hours in the sink, on the TV laugh hysterically etc

As they grow, it turns more into calm friendship and companionship where they both work together for a common good, then arguments reduces everyone tolerates the other. The fights are less frequent and the make up sexx too less frequent

Its not like Love is diminishing its just that Love is getting more matured.

You think? Marriage is about friendship / companionship thru thick & thin sefini

chaircover:

. . . . another mistake us ladies make. We think that our looks and dressing alone will keep a man interested or on a leash. We forget that He sees pretty and sexy ladies everyday and many men will choose a peaceful and well mannered lady who he can trust with his heart over a dolled up to the nines biatch.

With a bit of brazillian hair and some mary kay powder and a few above knee skirts and heels, most women can look attractive . . . but not all of them have the good manners to go with the good looks and men know that.

@OP,please don't mistake sexy for indecency.When i said sexy i meant d neat way you used to dress when he met u(generally those things you do that make him happy) cos it simply looks like there is no happiness in your marriage again. Every marriage has its ups and downs.it is well.

pweetymama: @OP,please don't mistake sexy for indecency.When i said sexy i meant d neat way you used to dress when he met u(generally those things you do that make him happy) cos it simply looks like there is no happiness in your marriage again. Every marriage has its ups and downs.it is well.

What's wrong if she is doing the indecency for her husband .

Vikin:

You should know the church song that ask God, why must I go empty handed!

OP, this case, you try and resolve it with hubby but always remember, you must not go empty handed o.,

Wish you the best!

tnx so much

Vikin:
What's wrong if she is doing the indecency for her husband .

i wonder......

There really is nothing i can say that has not been already said but all i can say is that 4 yrs is still quite a young marriage.The first couple of years in marriage sometimes lays the tone for the rest of the marriage.

I think communication is key here.Thats why its often said to marry your friend that you are in love with.When all those lovey dovey phase end its mainly friendship you have left.Do you guys just talk about serious stuff i.e the kids,bills,marriage bla bla all the time?Sometimes alot of people just feel disillusioned with the whole responsibility thing and just need their spouse to be their padi once in a while.

I remember the first year i got married,hubby is the type that when he has a bad day at work he would just want to eat and sleep.I would notice he was low and would insist on him telling me what was wrong by force by fire.He would be like can we talk tomorrow and straight am on the defensive you dont talk to me and start arguing with an already stressed man.With time i learnt if he says i dont want to talk about it right now i would just say ok.In the course of the night say we are watching arsenal play(gunners family unfortunately )after we have heaped curses on then Eboue and how adebayor was just a fluke player,then watched CSI and argued on whodonit i would not need to nag for him to open up on the issue.


My own take is look for what makes the home light hearted and sometimes just be his friend.

P.S not saying its all down to you alone o,it has to be a joint thing but as it seems you are the one who is troubled maybe you can intiate it.

damiso: There really is nothing i can say that has not been already said but all i can say is that 4 yrs is still quite a young marriage.The first couple of years in marriage sometimes lays the tone for the rest of the marriage.

I think communication is key here.Thats why its often said to marry your friend that you are in love with.When all those lovey dovey phase end its mainly friendship you have left.Do you guys just talk about serious stuff i.e the kids,bills,marriage bla bla all the time?Sometimes alot of people just feel disillusioned with the whole responsibility thing and just need their spouse to be their padi once in a while.

I remember the first year i got married,hubby is the type that when he has a bad day at work he would just want to eat and sleep.I would notice he was low and would insist on him telling me what was wrong by force by fire.He would be like can we talk tomorrow and straight am on the defensive you dont talk to me and start arguing with an already stressed man.With time i learnt if he says dont wanr to talk about it right now would just say ok.In the course of the night say we are watching arsenal play(gunners family unfortunately )after we have heaped curses on then Eboue and how adebayor was just a fluke player,then watched CSI and argued on whodonit i would not need to nag for him to open up on the issue.


My own take is look for what makes the home light hearted and sometimes just be his friend.

P.S not saying its all down to you alone o,it has to be a joint thing but as it seems you are the one who is troubled maybe you can intiate it.

aite tnx

Vikin:

What's wrong if she is doing the indecency for her husband .

Some men may find the indecency irritating,when it is done outside the home.within d confides of their environment is okay by them.

I cannot believe the advices I'm reading here. I don't normally mention names but, Jennykadry, STOP giving inresponsible advices,it's very troubling.You cannot just trow words around insousiantly, unconcerned about the danger of such advices. The man maybe very flippand in how and what he says to his wife but, how in the world did you interprete all that to mean his wife, troubleSoul's worthless when infact, it can mean the opposite.TroubleSoul,I know what your husband says hurts expectially coming from a love one,but it's all in how you carry it that matters. Your husband is one of those people that says things without thinking but, he's not evil. Please, don't let some people here with brains stuffed with cotton destroy your marriage. You have a far better husband than most here will ever dreamt of and I wish you well

Vikin:

What's wrong if she is doing the indecency for her husband .

Some men may find the indecency irritating,when it is done outside the home.within d confines of their environment is okay by them.

You are welcome, op... Wish u best of luck in your home.

pweetymama: Some men may find the indecency irritating,when it is done outside the home.within d confines of their environment is okay by them.

of course it has to be within the 4 walls of the bedroom, not outside......for the husband's eyes only!

nobniger: I cannot believe the advices I'm reading here. I don't normally mention names but, Jennykadry, STOP giving inresponsible advices,it's very troubling.You cannot just trow words around insousiantly, unconcerned about the danger of such advices. The man maybe very flippand in how and what he says to his wife but, how in the world did you interprete all that to mean his wife, troubleSoul's worthless when infact, it can mean the opposite.TroubleSoul,I know what your husband says hurts expectially coming from a love one,but it's all in how you carry it that matters. Your husband is one of those people that says things without thinking but, he's not evil. Please, don't let some people here with brains stuffed with cotton destroy your marriage. You have a far better husband than most here will ever dreamt of and I wish you well

nobniger: I cannot believe the advices I'm reading here. I don't normally mention names but, Jennykadry, STOP giving inresponsible advices,it's very troubling.You cannot just trow words around insousiantly, unconcerned about the danger of such advices. The man maybe very flippand in how and what he says to his wife but, how in the world did you interprete all that to mean his wife, troubleSoul's worthless when infact, it can mean the opposite.TroubleSoul,I know what your husband says hurts expectially coming from a love one,but it's all in how you carry it that matters. Your husband is one of those people that says things without thinking but, he's not evil. Please, don't let some people here with brains stuffed with cotton destroy your marriage. You have a far better husband than most here will ever dreamt of and I wish you well

nobniger: I cannot believe the advices I'm reading here. I don't normally mention names but, Jennykadry, STOP giving inresponsible advices,it's very troubling.You cannot just trow words around insousiantly, unconcerned about the danger of such advices. The man maybe very flippand in how and what he says to his wife but, how in the world did you interprete all that to mean his wife, troubleSoul's worthless when infact, it can mean the opposite.TroubleSoul,I know what your husband says hurts expectially coming from a love one,but it's all in how you carry it that matters. Your husband is one of those people that says things without thinking but, he's not evil. Please, don't let some people here with brains stuffed with cotton destroy your marriage. You have a far better husband than most here will ever dreamt of and I wish you well

My friend shaatappp diaaaa. Look at this insecure cow that has never seen civilisation before. Come chop my mouth off.

Madam Jennykadry,Nawaoo! Your misinformation about subjects you're not qualify to give can be fun to read and even funny. Sometimes, people like you do damaging things without knowing it. A typical Niger home braker, you've been parading yourself here as a happily married woman but, I don't believe you. In your desire to get appreciated, your abrasive behaviour shows itself, so sad. Madam Know-It-all, at least you have this unique ability, learning just enough about the advice you give to sound conversant in it, how else can one define evil? The advice you gave to people here can be very annoying at best and dangerous at at its worst expecially coming from someone who merely crave for attention. I know you don't see yourself as a liar but, I don't believe anything you say here. Cut it

^^^^ if at your age you think people write things here for you to believe then I must be Michelle Obama and you the fugly OBJ. This is the Internet and instead of worrying about me and my"lies" why not focus on making a life outside nairaland, you dumb fuuuuck

Don't believe everything you read on the net, for all I know you could be a transgendered paedophile serving jail time In prison but posting here like you are professor Soyinka.

please folks i need home services idea dat i can start n earn money frm it while completing my studies.
thanks all for ur love, care.

Don't bother yourself, just face your studies. Won't you still have to ask your husband for the money to start the business? Nothing wrong with your husband paying your fees. He is not complaining. Just stop threatening to walk out of the marriage and leave in every argument. With your statement that "he said he won't come looking for me either" after saying "he says marriage is not a do or die affair" its obvious. If you can comfortably run your own business, run your home and go to school as well without it affecting your studies. And you really think you not having a job is the problem, then goodluck. Try catering on weekends or sewing. Money is needed sha for business venture. Assess your family purse. Some people stoop to conquer in certain situations.like Facing your books with seriousness and doing well. Then getting a nice job after graduation. Not everyone can work while in school not to talk of running a business and a home at the same time.

troubledSoul: please folks i need home services idea dat i can start n earn money frm it while completing my studies.
thanks all for ur love, care.

You can supply hair extension in retail prices, Brazilian, Peruvian, Nigerian, Ghanaian, Gambian etc...just get a good supplier to buy from, since you have your car...load them inside the trunk and go from salon to salon and introduce ya market.

Try and survey the price it goes for in a particular area before putting your price tag!

It doesn't take much, but fuel money...when you have enough to sustain a shop then you go for that.

This will also give you time for studies.

baby_123: Don't bother yourself, just face your studies. Won't you still have to ask your husband for the money to start the business? Nothing wrong with your husband paying your fees. He is not complaining. Just stop threatening to walk out of the marriage and leave in every argument. With your statement that "he said he won't come looking for me either" after saying "he says marriage is not a do or die affair" its obvious. If you can comfortably run your own business, run your home and go to school as well without it affecting your studies. And you really think you not having a job is the problem, then goodluck. Try catering on weekends or sewing. Money is needed sha for business venture. Assess your family purse. Some people stoop to conquer in certain situations.like Facing your books with seriousness and doing well. Then getting a nice job after graduation. Not everyone can work while in school not to talk of running a business and a home at the same time.

ok tnx but my hubby suggested it so dats y am asking.
i run a part time programme, so i hv some few hrs to learn or do sumfin.

Vikin:

You can supply hair extension in retail prices, Brazilian, Peruvian, Nigerian, Ghanaian, Gambian etc...just get a good supplier to buy from, since you have your car...load them inside the trunk and go from salon to salon and introduce ya market.

Try and survey the price it goes for in a particular area before putting your price tag!

It doesn't take much, but fuel money...when you have enough to sustain a shop then you go for that.

This will also give you time for studies.

tnx alot. i do need more ideas so i can settle for d lucrative one

Just like a baby with teething problems, troubledsoul, your marriage is @ a point where such issues occur and what I will only say is that it will PASS. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Make your life interesting.

About what you can do:
stock gift items(You wont get to worry about expiry dates)
Sell diary products if you have light regularly(Juice, Chivita milk, La casera n bottle water)
Sell baked goods: sliced bread: UTC, Butterfield, SoftCrust, etc and maybe with poultry eggs, good for quick breakfast for large families during week days.
Otherwise, if there is none, just open like a neighbourhood mini mart.

Overall, trust in God and lean not on ur understanding. All the best.