mercylicious: My advise, think about it very well, can u do dt for d rest of ur life?
I was in a very similar shoe. No ambition wats so ever. If u ask, d answer u'll get is dt I've tried and it didn't work. I get d info for job adverts, I send to all my friends dt need to change jobs, all except him will apply. If u like, remind him severally, d deadline will come and go, he might even tell u to apply for him. I ended up doing all d job search, job application etc. Anyone I don't do won't be done.

It became too bad wen I started earning 3times his pay. He changed completely. Wants to assert he is d man in everything. At a time, I started requesting money from him for certain things (which I can afford) just to make him feel good. It helped, but wit time, his ambitionless life started to irritate. Me greatly and I had to leave. I thank God it was peaceful, no quarel nor disagreements. Its nt always easy, especially when u have a lot of friends dt know both of you. Bt life has to go on.

sexybash: the problem is that as time goes one he will no longer be comfortable with your success, and he either slows you down and you start to reason slowly like him or he will opt out, i once dated some one like that infact we did our introduction sef , he was an for that educated,but had low drive for success, i had to threaten him with break up then before e decided to leave his village, after sometime i realized if we got married i will be the man of the house, i broke up the engagement then there were so many things i wanted to do he will tel me they are white "elephant project" he starts to use phrases like we will all die, where are you taking all your certificate and assets to, the IQ of your partner in relationship matter alot either the man or woman
so my dear Zoe if you are a sucker for success you dont need pple like that around you.,marraige is a long term journey,the question you will ask yor self is that are you willing to trust him with your future?

Michky: If you take another look at the first page of this thread, you'll notice that the first few reactions to Op's post were females. You'll also notice that they were all trying to defend the Op (all focusing on the alpha female thingy). My point? Y'all start up the mess and rush out looking for those that will urge you on, forgeting that the problems that you're running from was caused by you! This Op is obviously playing games which prompted her bf to react in that manner. And now she's using alpha female as her excuse to dump his arse finally. No wonder they call some of you Fish heads. PITY! Perhaps, as she said, all her female friends are married, she's feeling the pressure to get married. And since the "will you marry me question" isnt anywhere in sight, she's geting desperate and receiving suspicious calls which has made her bf more insecure. OP, you are desperately seeking husband. Finish! This thread should be in the advert section. Not here.

Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth

sub_zidi: @ OP
I would start by saying you pay close attention to X-Solution and Peclints advice as they gave you the best advice so far and i really do not have much to add!
We have a lot of God given powers as women, my hubby then bf was earning far below me when we were starting, i saw this inherent pottential in him as a very smart, hardworking and honest man! I was mobile while he was not.In fact, he realy didnt know he had such qualities until i came into the picture and activated them. Two months after our wedding he got double promotion in his office based on my encouragements, exposing his strengths to him and transforming them into strategic values that turned his career around!

Guess what, even the tiny car i had/have he paid off the auto-loan, building a house for us to live and has promised to upgrade my car to an SUV before end of this year which i did not even request for!
Be wise, that stone that looks dirty might be a diamond in disguise.
Stay focused & blessed

sub_zidi: @ OP
I would start by saying you pay close attention to X-Solution and Peclints advice as they gave you the best advice so far and i really do not have much to add!
We have a lot of God given powers as women, my hubby then bf was earning far below me when we were starting, i saw this inherent pottential in him as a very smart, hardworking and honest man! I was mobile while he was not.In fact, he realy didnt know he had such qualities until i came into the picture and activated them. Two months after our wedding he got double promotion in his office based on my encouragements, exposing his strengths to him and transforming them into strategic values that turned his career around!

Guess what, even the tiny car i had/have he paid off the auto-loan, building a house for us to live and has promised to upgrade my car to an SUV before end of this year which i did not even request for!
Be wise, that stone that looks dirty might be a diamond in disguise.
Stay focused & blessed

zoelife:
1. He hasn't done me any wrong. He just kindly expressed how he feels.
2. Are there bigger men willing to accomodate and support ambitious women like me and not stifle me?
This is my major concern. Maybe my background is a major pointer. But if u knw decent guys like u describe I wldnt mind.

eagleeye2:
Op, I think you are giving out certain signals consciously or unconsciously. Guys who starts asking or thinking that their babes have someone on the side, may be picking up distress signals from their babe.
You are hyper active, an over achiever, ambitious etc may not really be the reason why your guy feels insecure. He may be reading certain danger signals coming from you.


Am sorry, but I dont know how best to explain my rambling.

dederocs:

find another,abi dem tie u rope...abi you be Oprah or Alicia keys.mtcheew,naija girls una too dey form time go reach una go marry unaselves.yeye things.

Been worried lately over this issue. He's a great guy, loving, kind and all. Yet time and time again the issue comes up if I'm still with him, or if there's someone somewhere who's probably doing better than him. Getting a little worked up over things I call 'trivial' like not knowing my friends(I'm not a crowd person. My friends are mostly married women. Or guys. That's me),etc.
Not that he's being unpleasant, but the thing here is, I'm wat u cld call an 'alpha female'. Ambitious, driven and visionary. These I think give him the 'not good enuff' feeling, plus the fact dat he's still a beginner(I'm not yet there either). Whenever he expresses such feelings, I feel him too and attimes wonder to myself, if truly there's someone better for me out there. I dunno.
Sound advice NLers needed, married folks welcome. Tks