I love my boyfriend and we intend to keep this relationshp for as long as we can. but i noticed that each time we have a sorta misunderstanding, i get nervous and assume ive lost him all togeda.
i think i love him tooooo much, cos if we dont talk in a day, im usually disorganised, my question therefore is,

How do i shield myself from getting hurt?

what if one day he just decides to leave me?
i know ds sounds petty but i dont wanna be caught unawares, how can u learn to live without someone u love so much?
he loves me too, im sure of that and i appreciate the fact that he culd be very practical, while im usually emotional about things, however, this also gets to me and makes me feel like he doesnt care,

i need to be practical too, but how?

Girl - it all has to do with you.
You need to check your insecurities.
It's that attitude that will end up driving him away.
You learn to live with someone you love when they actually leave you. Somehow, you'll get through it. But for now focus on how you can be happy with him. Stop worrying so much about the future although I understand where you are coming from.

You have to start learning how to be more independent while in a relationship.
Don't let him determine your mood of each day.

Learn to diversify,variety is the spice of life.You shouldnt act as though he is the be all and end all of your existence.There are many fishes in the ocean[i] bad advice[/i]

my dear, work on your insecurities and don't lead your love on the path of doubt and fear be'cos your thots shapen your reality.

but should your fears com to pass,then u gotta be strong and know that its only God that u can't live without.

hollandis:

Learn to diversify,variety is the spice of life.You shouldnt act as though he is the be all and end all of your existence.There are many fishes in the ocean[i] bad advice[/i]

Soo u know

@Topic
I really don't like the way u've developed a negative feeling, in ur relationship, U are already guarding against the hurt that has not come or that might never come. Every relationship has its ups & downs so u have to be ready to face whatever comes since u love the person u are with. Don't try devising means to make it seem u don't care that much, cos not matter what if u truly care it will show.

Its possible u are feeling this way cos u may be the one loving more. As i've learnt that in a relationship one person loves more. No matter what, it can't be equal. Its only if ur love for him is taken for granted and u are treated as garbage that u can think of finding means of reducing ur love. The way u feel right now is healthy & isn't abnormal. Relationships have faces, but if both of u truly love each other, there will come a time when u'll wonder where ur feelings ran to & he'll be there for u at every beck & call. At this time u might be the one to take things really easy while he's all over u. "If"[/b]u both truly love each other, the table flips from time to time. Enjoy ur relationship while it last & don't wallow in thots of getting hurt.

I personally like practical guys as in [b]"show me u care don't tell me u care".

Oh. . . left him for me,i won't hurt you. . .i will just break your heart a little Then show you much i really care.

@poster
You might be obsessed with him .expand your horizon,I mean cycle of friends.keep busy .when less busy,try doing things that gives you joy.but dont try to force the thought of him out of your mind cos its a natural phenomenon.doing so will make you miss him the more.more importantly,make new friends if you can.

how do u live without him?
u can start by taking otapiapia,
if it doesnt work u can go jump off the third mainland bridge
and if u die ,come and tell us how it feels living without him.
then u can be said to have a first hand experience on how it feels.

bennygee:

how do u live without him?
u can start by taking otapiapia,
if it doesnt work u can go jump off the third mainland bridge
and if u die ,come and tell us how it feels living without him.
then u can be said to have a first hand experience on how it feels.

bad boy.

@POSTER

point blank!

In any relationship Always hope for the best and always expect the worst.

Be prepared. with that u wont be caughe unawares if the worst happens

Put urself together n get something doing. Get busy like talk2sulta said.
R'ship problems r inevitable, u gotta be strong, it's not always rosy. Erase it from ya mind that he is "ur world", that's the problem with u. Men only adds-up to life like any other thing, they don't make life complete i tell u. . . he's not ur "God" ur breath or ur life. Be strong n tell yaself that u can move on without him, prepare ur mind for anything being it positive or negative.

Sometimes, it's better u dnt let ur partner know ur weaker side, if he does, he wld be hitting there most often.

Macgreat:

Oh. . . left him for me,i won't hurt you. . .i will just break your heart a little Then show you much i really care.

is dat a good advice?

is that a good advice?

I think so

@Stephanay,

Unfortunately hearts will be broken no matter how hard you try to shield it. At the moment you are feeling insecure is this your first love?

Healthy -------------------------------------- Unhealthy

Love: Development of self first priority.

Toxic love: Obsession with relationship.


Love: Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.

Toxic love: Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love - may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness.


Love: Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.

Toxic love: Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

 
Love: Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.

Toxic love: Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.

 
Love: Appropriate Trust (trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)

Toxic love: Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."

 
Love: Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.

Toxic love: Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

 
Love: Embracing of each other's individuality.

Toxic love: Trying to change other to own image.


Love: Relationship deals with all aspects of reality.

Toxic love: Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.

 
Love: Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.

Toxic love: Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.

 
Love: Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.)

Toxic love: Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)


Love: Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship.

Toxic love: Pressure around sex due to fear, insecurity & need for immediate gratification.


Love: Ability to enjoy solitude by being alone.

Toxic love: Unable to endure separation; clinging.

 
Love: Cycle of comfort and contentment.

Toxic love: Cycle of pain and despair.


Love: Conversations based upon intent to Understand, Help, or convey affection.

Toxic love: Conversations based upon intent to blame, defend, or manipulate.


Love is not supposed to be painful. There is pain involved in any relationship but if it is painful most of the time then something is not working. Loving relationships are based upon appreciation & affection and not fear and manipulation

That means say this Girl don get over dose love for this Guy ooo


Love : bla

Toxic love : bla bla

over dose love : bla bla bla ship

@poster

Break-ups are inevitable sometimes in relationships
Use ur brain and not ur head
Dont expect so much but give in ur best shot
embrace the much it offers u now and worry not abt 2m for 2m will take care of itself
Finally, let ur emotions not becloud ur sense of reasonings,
If u loose a man, u have God and u have ur family, the are the integral part of ur existence
Goodluck and enjoy the flow

always be ready for the unknown
try to retract from him a lil bit
don't show him u'll die if he leaves u. get one with ur life

and love don't exist no more