@ifyalways

i understand u from ur own point of view,i do,,but u seem to have forgotten dat;DAT same God uses foolish things to confirm the wise,they say man proposes and God disposes,maybe d guy just got engaged to the girl out of his own wish or wants,and maybe dats not d person God wants for him,sometimes we humans try to be faster than our shadow,and at d end we make mistakes,this same God who is perfect might bring a girl before the guy to try and distract him,because d one he is engaged to aint his wife,the igbos will say wen a man marries two wives he then knows which one is better,i know wat is mine is mine and i dont pray to find myself in such situation,nobody is helping God do his work,but sometimes we help God thru prayers like "GOD I LOVE DIS GUY WT MY HEART;IS HE FOR ME?PLEASE IF HE IS LET HIM COME,now i dont believe if a girl dates an engaged guy its a crime cos,cos even if the girl the guy is engaged to,if she goes down on her knees and cry to God telling him someother girl has taken her man,who will she tell GOD the man is to her:THE FIANCEE OR THE HUSBAND,God does not fight a battle that is not LEGAL OR JUSTIFIED,even if he wants to, the devil i trust will go and question him,yes,he will question him and ask him HAVE THEY WEDDED BEFORE UR SIGHT?,but if d guy is married then its wrong for a girl to come in btw,thats a sin,but hence d guy has not sworn before GOD AND MAN ,IN THE CHURCH BEFORE A PRIEST OR PASTOR,AND HAS NOT WORN THE RING THE PASTOR HAS BLESSED IN THE ALTAR,believe me he is still free

lol
i didnt say its a crime either,just stated my opinion.
If you can, fine,if i cant, good.

yea,everybody is free to state his/her opinion,

Ah, ah, what are you guys saying? Why get engaged in the first place if the guy still has it at the back of his mind that the chase is still on with other girls"? Why waste the other person's time? Na wa ooo

Who wants a guy that can't make up his mind?

as long as the man hasn't walked down the altar he is fair game
same goes for a woman.

engagement is not marriage.
even on the wedding eve,a man  or a woman can decide to disengage.
@the poster if you're falling for a man engaged to someone else and he feels the same about you ,he ought to tell his "engaged" the truth.
But remember he could do same to you somewhere along the line afterall he is just engaged

Like many already said,a broken engagement is a million times preferred to a failed marriage

Once u give that girl a ring and ask her to marry you (i suppose this is the engagement stage the poster is talking about) . . . she has every right to claim u as her sole property.

If you still want to play the field then dont decieve her with an engagement that means nothing to you.

@still water
forget it my dear,nobody is above mistake,we r all humans,its obvious d guy realised his mistakes and knows dat marriaGE is a life time commitment,and d one he is engaged to would not last long wt him.

4Him:

Once u give that girl a ring and ask her to marry you (i suppose this is the engagement stage the poster is talking about) . . . she has every right to claim u as her sole property.

If you still want to play the field then don't decieve her with an engagement that means nothing to you.

ROFL.
I know a girl whose fiance left and married another woman after the initial stages of the  traditional wedding.
He just fell out of love and found the love of his life,he said.
Such is life

nwando:

ROFL.
I know a girl whose fiance left and married another woman after the initial stages of the traditional wedding.
He just fell out of love and found the love of his life,he said.
Such is life

Men divorce their wives and marry other women for "irreconciliable differences" . . . does that mean the marriage establishment is fair game?

NO David but as long as they haven't walked down the isle,they are free to go their seperate ways.
There is no contract yet
You can't drag someone to the Isle can you?

If any union was bound to end,I pray it ends a day before the wedding.

chinda3:

@still water
forget it my dear,nobody is above mistake,we r all humans,its obvious d guy realised his mistakes and knows that marriaGE is a life time commitment,and d one he is engaged to would not last long wt him.

As a woman, I will not date any man that is engaged, period.

nwando:

NO David but as long as they haven't walked down the isle,they are free to go their seperate ways.
There is no contract yet
You can't drag someone to the Isle can you?

If any union was bound to end,I pray it ends a day before the wedding.

But do u mean to advocate that another woman is free to "tap" up the brother while he is engaged to someone else?

na wa o. . .some people sha

@nwando
i love ur replies

@poster
every woman is free to tap d guy while he is engaged,he hasnt walked down the aisle for pity's sake,he does not belong to any woman till he has walked up d aisle wt her,my best friend got married same way,she fell inlove wt d guy and played maturedly,cos d other girl was always coming at her(i mean fighting her)and telling her to leave her husband,i encouraged dis friend of mine to leave d guy for d girl,she refused and said nobody has d guy until he is married,and as i type now,she won d battle and now lives in south africa wt her husband cos they got married,that he is engaged doesnt mean he is not available,every man or woman is available for any partner as long as there is no confirmation at d altar(wedding)

Chinda3 . . . stop decieving urself. What if you were engaged to your fiance? You'd be comfortable that he's spending time with another woman?

@Chinda3, just wondering, are you the same as the OP? nothing against you

@ chinda

It worked for you friend doesn't mean it will work for others

@morenike
He or she sounds like the poster

4Him:

But do u mean to advocate that another woman is free to "tap" up the brother while he is engaged to someone else?

as long as the man is not married,he is free to change his mind and so is she.
Of course I wouldn't encourage some one to go looking for an engaged man to date

Yes they are free to change their mind but don't go about dating some other girl behind my back. Tell me now!!!!!!!!!

sorry guys. , i kinda side with the poster/ Chinda. . . but there's a limit. . .if i know i really love this guy, i'll try to get him. . .but if he shows no signs of interest and he really loves his fiancee, i'll step aside

nwando:

as long as the man is not married,he is free to change his mind and so is she.
Of course I wouldn't encourage some one to go looking for an engaged man to date

Of course we know they are free . . . but if you think u'd rather marry another man then step up to me and let me know asap. Dont go around my back cheating and then using the "afterall we arent married" excuse.
I see engagement as the first step to marital commitment, if u cant be faithful to that woman who u're not even married to neither can she trust you to be faithful 10yrs after marriage.

@stillwater
im not d poster just joined yesterday and the topic caught my eyes,maybe its because i know too many pple it has happened to

@morenike
i assume the OP means poster right?nope im not ,morenike can one actually log in with two different nickname?

Once im engaged . . . .their is no going back but that is not stopping me from playing away match. .
Engagement to me doesn't in anyway guarantee that the marriage in gonna take place!. . . . .

chinda3:

@morenike
i assume the OP means poster right?nope im not ,morenike can one actually log in with two different nickname?

that's a question for seun to answer

nwando:

as long as the man is not married,he is free to change his mind and so is she.
Of course I wouldn't encourage some one to go looking for an engaged man to date

i agree 109% with you. . .

this matter serious ooo,so e still dey run,i beg make una leave chinda3,i think i kinda get wat shes saying everybody has their own views about this thing

@chinda
welcome to nairaland i see u r new here,and very active at dat,keep it up

®~^Sly^~®:

Once im engaged . . . .their is no going back but that is not stopping me from playing away match. .
Engagement to me doesn't in anyway guarantee that the marriage in going to take place!. . . . .

Bros, once engaged there is nothing like away match again.
I guess where i might differ with some is that i wont be engaging a girl if i were not 150% sure that is the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with.
Once she has that ring nothing can part us again o.

Engagement no be small thing o.

@sly
na wa for u sly,so u go dey play away match even wen u give ring,this ur motto fit u sha,true true u no send ooooo

chinda3:

@nwando
i love your replies

@poster
every woman is free to tap d guy while he is engaged,he hasnt walked down the aisle for pity's sake,he does not belong to any woman till he has walked up d aisle wt her,my best friend got married same way,she fell inlove wt d guy and played maturedly,because d other girl was always coming at her(i mean fighting her)and telling her to leave her husband,i encouraged this friend of mine to leave d guy for d girl,she refused and said nobody has d guy until he is married,and as i type now,she won d battle and now lives in south africa wt her husband because they got married,that he is engaged doesnt mean he is not available,every man or woman is available for any partner as long as there is no confirmation at d altar(wedding)

Thanks dear.
I think what people have a problem with is the thought of an engaged man cheating with another woman not really the thought of a broken engagement per se.
I believe in honesty.
If a man feels he no longer feels for his fiancee (and same for a woman who falls out of love),he ought to let her know immediately not string her along.

nwando:

If a man feels he no longer feels for his fiancee (and same for a woman who falls out of love),he ought to let her know immediately not string her along.

this is the part that gets me . . . how do u fall out of love with someone you wilfully engaged?
I suppose u both had spent a good deal of time in a relationship before making the decision to get married to each other . . .

OK let me come out and say it.

I was engaged to someone else before I met Mr Nwando
The other man is happily married today and so am I
it just wasn't meant to be
so is life

@sly
na wa for u sly,so u go dey play away match even when u give ring,this your motto fit u sha,true true u no send ooooo

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Bros, once engaged there is nothing like away match again.
I guess where i might differ with some is that i wont be engaging a girl if i were not 150% sure that is the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with.
Once she has that ring nothing can part us again o.

Engagement no be small thing o.

That is why im so so sick of all these marriage thingy. . . .i can hardly trust any woman at all due to what i have seen. . . .witnessed & experienced. . .
I think what i'ma do at last is to get just a baby girl and thats it. . .like my friend patrick. . .no marriage. . . .just a baby girl and thats all!

Marriage to me. . . . is like a war zone. . .with all these westernized . .(''smart'' educated '' women). . . .sighs!