@Poster,

My advice is for you is to get hold of this prayer on CD or DVD by Dr. D. K. Olukoya: Wickedness must die. But please stay away from pastors. Play it all night quietly and always pray to God that the wicked powers controlling your wife to wage war against you should consume away like smoke.

Hear is the link to download it http://www.mfmhouston.net/AUDIO%20MESSAGES/THE%20WICKED%20MUST%20EXPIRE.wma

Hope you don't put others first before your wife?

biolabee:

your prognosis is based on a lay observation of his wife
he says she is paranoid
have u for one considered he may be the paranoid one or he jumps to conclusion when his wife has conflicts and blames her without listening to her side or that he is plain biased

I know you guys are excited on this psychosis/MPD/paranoia thing but i believe the simplest diagnosis is usually the solution

.ish

My prognosis?
What prognosis? Do you know the meaning of that word? I doubt it very much.You,too,appear to have some issues, I'm afraid. Clearly you like to talk for the sake of talking !
As usual the louder the noise the emptier the vessel.
I have no prognosis please!!!

omonnakoda:
My prognosis?
What prognosis? Do you know the meaning of that word? I doubt it very much.You,too,appear to have some issues, I'm afraid. Clearly you like to talk for the sake of talking !
As usual the louder the noise the emptier the vessel.
I have no prognosis please!!!

When you get on shore, proceed with divorce.

The only discussion with her is about the care of your child. Be ready to pay her participate with that care fully.

Life is too short to be in an unfulfilling relationship with some witch.

omonnakoda:
My prognosis?
What prognosis? Do you know the meaning of that word? I doubt it very much.You,too,appear to have some issues, I'm afraid. Clearly you like to talk for the sake of talking !
As usual the louder the noise the emptier the vessel.
I have no prognosis please!!!

now i know you were just talking all the while
you read someones post online and next thing you jump to mental illness ....

its always exotic stuff never the plain simple things

na wa

biolabee:

now i know you were just talking all the while
you read someones post online and next thing you jump to mental illness ....

its always exotic stuff never the plain simple things

na wa

Please explain what the word "prognosis" means.

prediction.. duh

dude(tte) just accept ur psycho cards dont cut it yet

The post is biased and he wil make his wife look bad
stop hunting for mental patients

debrief08: Sadly what I have come to realise is that when women want to get married they fit into your "standard" of "wife material"
They will cook, clean, wash, scrub, maid service and supply s3x on demand, oncce you are hooked they unleash the real them.
I have told my cousins to accept women whose faults they caan live with so they don't end up with pretenders who unlesh terror after wards.
It is better to stay with a lady whose flaws are obvious and you know you can manage than that perfect "wife material"
I have seen it severally. Men set crazy standards, they want all the great qualities yet they refuse to be a great boyfriend, maake the lady go through hell and most will hold on just to get the ring and world war 3 starts since they haave achieved their aim.

I have one now who while dating pretended to accept and manage her now husbands cheating ways and arrogance, then I told her to be honest about her feelings and if he didn't feel she was good enough to stay faithful to let her move on and get someone who will.
She refused, she "accepted" his cheating, will ignore it when she saw nud3 pictures on his phone, walked in on him with another lady and smiled and pretended it was okay. Silly man thought he had an angel who would let him be married and do as he wants.
Today their home is hell, he is like a prisioner because she behaves the way the OP described.
When he begs me to speak with her she will tell me to ignore him, shebi he wanted a mumu he don enter one chance, she tells me after all they are married now, if he wants let him divorce because she knows he wouldn't.

Poster, sadly you married a woman who pretended to be what you wanted her to be then because she had her target, like someone said, try to salvage what is left of this.
If you can take time off and go somewhere alone no kids, no accusations no fighting, just the way forward, now both of you know the real person behind the facade, decide on how you can work together and around the issues.
Deal with issues not personal accusations and tantrums.
Ask her what she feels is the way forward, also listen and write down key points, infact both of you should write down expectations and exchange, its better than talking because fight will always enter.
When you have both read each others clearly outlined expectations, together you write down realistic points of compromise and each try to stick to it.

I am sorry for what you are going through, best of luck in working to make it better

That doesn't work with real Men.

The moment the Woman start making palava and showing her real self is when you kick her to the curb.

Men, we have to send a message that we will not stand by for this.

She's unhappy about Ur constant absence from d home due to Ur job. Probably dat's Y she gets angry when she sees Ur gifts.

She wants U close to her, not gifts.

Have U tried 2 seek another job dat will not take U away for so long?
Does she have a job? Pls ensure she has a job/business to take her mind off issues.

Above all, U both need to talk abt it. No assumptions, no pointing of fingers, just 2 adults who want 2 get along fine.

biolabee: prediction.. duh

dude(tte) just accept ur psycho cards dont cut it yet

The post is biased and he wil make his wife look bad
stop hunting for mental patients

Prediction ,dead right so where did I predict anything ?
At every single point you misused the word instead of diagnosis.
No one is trying to be right or wrong here just YOU!! .
The information provided led me to suggest that the husband seeks advice.
Clearly you have your own issues and NEED to be right.
Me I don't even know if the story is fiction but based on what I read I would advise the husband to get psychiatric advice.They may advice there is no mileage there and she does not need their help which is fine.
You on your part seem to need to WIN some battle here. I daresay you too might benefit from a psychiatric consultation!!

omonnakoda:
Prediction ,dead right so where did I predict anything ?
At every single point you misused the word instead of diagnosis.
No one is trying to be right or wrong .
The information provide led me to suggest that the husband seeks advice.
Clearly you have your own issues and NEED to be right.
Me I don't even know if the story is fiction but based on what I read I would advise the husband to get psychiatric advice.They may advice there is no mileage there which is fine.You on your part seem to need to WIN some battle here. I daresay you too might benefit from a psychiatric consultation!!

lol..fresh!!!
gAWD,,, a clinical student on the loose looking for mental patients... HAHAHA
The good thing be say we plenty for this land wey no normal

biolabee:

your prognosis is based on a lay observation of his wife

This statement makes no sense. The poster gave no prognosis whatsoever.


If what you're trying to say is that his/her opinion is based on a lay observation of his wife, then I need to ask you, what is your opinion based on? Knowing her intimately?

Winneygirl: She's unhappy about Ur constant absence from d home due to Ur job. Probably dat's Y she gets angry when she sees Ur gifts.

She wants U close to her, not gifts.

Have U tried 2 seek another job dat will not take U away for so long?
Does she have a job? Pls ensure she has a job/business to take her mind off issues.

Above all, U both need to talk abt it. No assumptions, no pointing of fingers, just 2 adults who want 2 get along fine.

shebi na human being be dis....

u made a conclusion based on a biased post and now me i need a psych eval...
SMH

unfortunate you also have believers in this your hypothesis

ileobatojo:

This statement makes no sense. The poster gave no prognosis whatsoever.


If what you're trying to say is that his/her opinion is based on a lay observation of his wife, then I need to ask you, what is your opinion based on? Knowing her intimately?

That is why I called it word concoction also known as verbigeration. Clearly he has issues which are all too obvious. For all we know the OP made up the whole story but we can only respond to what we are given

ileobatojo:

This statement makes no sense. The poster gave no prognosis whatsoever.


If what you're trying to say is that his/her opinion is based on a lay observation of his wife, then I need to ask you, what is your opinion based on? Knowing her intimately?

yes exactly my point
i dont know the couple in question but what i o know is that the couple need some time alone together to thrash out their issues
He is also as a poster said not really open to feedback as he is looking to blame a third party

My own point is before we label a mental thing, we shd look at other possibilities

biolabee:

My own point is before we label a mental thing, we shd look at other possibilities

Why?



Why can't weOP look at all possibilities at once and determine which one suits the situation the best?

eagle,eye:


Bros when it comes to this kind of matter, women are than us men. If that guy tries to assert his authority forcefully, I tell you he will not make much headway.
I have had a similar experience in my relationship, it took some talking and begging and promises (even when I know I won't fulfill all) for her to come back to her senses. Today we are happy again.
Op, dialogue still remain the best way to resolve this.

What works for you may not work for the other.

biolabee:

yes exactly my point
i dont know the couple in question but what i o know is that the couple need some time alone together to thrash out their issues
He is also as a poster said not really open to feedback as he is looking to blame a third party

My own point is before we label a mental thing, we shd look at other possibilities

In other words "mental" possibilities should be considered LAST. What is the logic for that. Why not looked at first or second or third or ninth.
We do not know whether this story is real or not and have no reason to take it too seriously,Therefore we assume the OP is telling the truth and our responses are based on that assumption.It is NOT an exam.
His story suggests that there is a personality problem and therefore that should be considered. I see no reason to relegate that to LAST position.

ileobatojo:

Why?



Why can't weOP look at all possibilities at once and determine which one suits the situation the best?

because we dont have all the information to make that call

SIGNS OF MENTAL ILLNESS

Concerned About?
If several of the following are occurring, a serious condition may be developing.

Recent social withdrawal and loss of interest in others.
An unusual drop in functioning, especially at school or work, such as quitting sports, failing in school, or difficulty performing familiar tasks.
Problems with concentration, memory, or logical thought and speech that are hard to explain.
Heightened sensitivity to sights, sounds, smells or touch; avoidance of over-stimulating situations.
Loss of initiative or desire to participate in any activity; apathy.
A vague feeling of being disconnected from oneself or one’s surroundings; a sense of unreality.
Unusual or exaggerated beliefs about personal powers to understand meanings or influence events; illogical or “magical” thinking typical of childhood in an adult.
Fear or suspiciousness of others or a strong nervous feeling.
Uncharacteristic, peculiar behavior.
Dramatic sleep and appetite changes or deterioration in personal hygiene.
Rapid or dramatic shifts in feelings or “mood swings.”

http://www.psychiatry.org/mental-health/more-topics/warning-signs-of-mental-illness


The OP is biased....you need time to sift through his mind to be a good grasp of the issues

omonnakoda:
In other words "mental" possibilities should be considered LAST. What is the logic for that. Why not looked at first or second or third.
We do not know whether this story is real or not and have no reason to take it too seriously,Therefore we assume the OP is telling the truth and our responses are based on that assumption.It is NOT an exam.
His story suggests that there is a personality problem and therefore that should be considered. I see no reason to relegate that to LAST position.

ok.

OP forget story, she needs you by her side. Simple

She probably taught she could cope with your long absence due to your work so maybe you should find time to see her every weekend at least. Women need attention and they get hysterical if not giving to them.

biolabee:

ok.

just for emphasis.
A personality disorder is NOT a mental illness.It is important to make that distinction because that means that it is LESS LIKELY to respond to any treatment!!

Whether na PD or mental illness all na brain tinz.. none is good
ish

Personality disorders are described in the International Classification of Mental and Behavioural Disorders (ICD-10) as ‘deeply ingrained and enduring behaviour patterns, manifesting themselves as inflexible responses to a broad range of personal and social situations’; they represent ‘either extreme or significant deviations from the way the average individual in a given culture perceives, thinks, feels, and particularly relates to others’ and are ‘developmental conditions, which appear in childhood or adolescence and continue into adulthood’ (World Health Organization, 1992a). They are distinguished from mental illness by their enduring, potentially lifelong nature and by the assumption that they represent extremes of normal variation rather than a morbid process of some kind.

http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/180/2/110.full

omonnakoda: just for emphasis.
A personality disorder is NOT a mental illness.It is important to make that distinction because that means that it is LESS LIKELY to respond to any treatment!!

Not trying to argue with you but this is not true. Psychopathy and sociopathy are extremely unlikely to respond to any treatment, that doesn't mean they are not mental illnesses. Regarding personality disorders, if they are severe (affecting function and relationships significantly) they can manifest as mental illness.

biolabee:

because we dont have all the information to make that call



http://www.psychiatry.org/mental-health/more-topics/warning-signs-of-mental-illness


The OP is biased....you need time to sift through his mind to be a good grasp of the issues

From the article you quoted, the OP's wife demonstrates 3 of the signs from what he has told us so far. I still have no idea what you are talking about.

ileobatojo:

Not trying to argue with you but this is not true. Psychopathy and sociopathy are extremely unlikely to respond to any treatment, that doesn't mean they are not mental illnesses. Regarding personality disorders, if they are severe (affecting function and relationships significantly) they can manifest as mental illness.



From the article you quoted, the OP's wife demonstrates 3 of the signs from what he has told us so far. I still have no idea what you are talking about.

ileobatojo.. all due respect i agree some of the signs you mentioned are there
My point is that the simplest things are usually the solution

The OP has his own issues and he is biased thatmuch we can all see looking at his mum

But anyhow.. as you rightly said, you are entitled to your POV.. so no wahala

eagle,eye:
op, you need to stoop to conquer. Obviously she loved you enough to sign the dotted line, and proclaim for better or worse.
For the time being, allow her to have her way. Then after sometime, call her and talk to her. Ask her if she is ready to wear the trouser in the marriage for the rest of your lives together?
If she was what you described before the marriage, I bet you she will have a rethink of the path she is towing. Most women I have met hate to be held responsible when things go wrong. That is why they will never voluntarily take up the leadership in a relationship.

That wud be a grave mistake. Rather face d issues upfront than lukin d oda while tings get worse in ur home. Be d man, show some leadershp and love her.

ileobatojo:

Not trying to argue with you but this is not true. Psychopathy and sociopathy are extremely unlikely to respond to any treatment, that doesn't mean they are not mental illnesses. Regarding personality disorders, if they are severe (affecting function and relationships significantly) they can manifest as mental illness.



From the article you quoted, the OP's wife demonstrates 3 of the signs from what he has told us so far. I still have no idea what you are talking about.

Depends on how you define "mental illness" snd whether we agree on definition. The ICD 10 which is my reference point makes a distinction between personality disorders and mental illness which was referenced in the post before yours. On that basis Psychopathy and sociopathy are behavioural disorder ;That is a clinical reference.

The Other reference is legal which may vary from country to country.In the UK eg there are terms like Mental Disorder and Mental Illness in the 1983 Mental Health Act recently amended(2008) under which Psychopathy/Sociopathy are "mental disorder" NOT "Illness".

So according to your assertion Are Psychopathy/Sociopathy classed as "mental illness" in Law or Clinical Classification? I too am not trying to argue but will appreciate a reference. Please?

hmm...

Okon.akpan:
She threatened divorce not long ago. I think she is fed up with our marriage cos she is not having her way as she wants. There is always quarrel whenever things are not done her way cos she want to be in control.

follow the first poster's advise all of it with great caution and try not to be harsh on her or too quiet but if there is no change better terminate the marriage on time since she first made the treat or you will complain worse if you dont die before your time. When any decision is based on women only that decision is bound to fell and when that happens they will quickly blame you so since she is just fighting to control you better be careful before you eat something

omonnakoda:
Depends on how you define "mental illness" snd whether we agree on definition. The ICD 10 which is my reference point makes a distinction between personality disorders and mental illness which was referenced in the post before yours. On that basis Psychopathy and sociopathy are behavioural disorder ;That is a clinical reference.

The Other reference is legal which may vary from country to country.In the UK eg there are terms like Mental Disorder and Mental Illness in the 1983 Mental Health Act recently amended(2008) under which Psychopathy/Sociopathy are "mental disorder" NOT "Illness".

So according to your assertion Are Psychopathy/Sociopathy classed as "mental illness" in Law or Clinical Classification? I too am not trying to argue but will appreciate a reference. Please?

I see what you are saying. Perhaps the word I'm looking for is mentally disturbed/imbalanced or something along that line. Hopefully that avoids the semantics of it all. This topic has been controversial in the past (whether personality disorders should be classified as mental illnesses or not) Is it resolved now?

ileobatojo:

I see what you are saying. Perhaps the word I'm looking for is mentally disturbed/imbalanced or something along that line. Hopefully that avoids the semantics of it all. This topic has been controversial in the past (whether personality disorders should be classified as mental illnesses or not) Is it resolved now?

I won't say it is resolved.It is just necessary to agree on what we mean for our own purposes when we use a word. Many Psychiatrists maintain the distinction.Here is an article where someone argues against separating the two .
http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/180/2/110.full

I think there are so many "abnormal" personalitities that makes it unhelpful to class them as illnesses(MY VIEW)
eg excessive lying,dishonesty etc may mark a particular personality
or violence,fighting drunkenness
or excessive promiscuity.
It would not be helpful to "MEDICALIZE" every abnormal behaviour especially if the individual has ALWAYS behaved like that in contrast to a CHANGE whether sudden or gradual

All this "mental illness" talk na wa o!

A woman is not happy in her marriage and is nagging the beJesus out of her husband and a man who is confused about the situation and some people are calling her a "mad".

That means a lot of married women in Nigeria are mentally ill naw.

My opinion,she's just showing her true self which op never saw (or refused to see) during courtship.

@OP,hang in there o! Marriage is for better for "worst" . Maybe its you who will eventually need mental treatment by the time she's done with you.