VanTee20:
A blonde, looking to earn some extra money, decided to offer her services as a "handy woman" and started canvassing an affluent nearby neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use
somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded. "How about $100?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

"She was just up here, how could she have missed it?" He queried.

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're done already?" the husband asked in surprise.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats"

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $100 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added slowly, "it's not a Porsche, it's a
Lexus."

JOYCEOUS:

Errrrmmmm! Me no undstnd dis one oo!

VanTee20:

Ok. The man asked the blonde to paint the PORCH of his house for $100, informing her that the paint to be used is in the garage.

The blonde, however, thought he wanted her to paint a car called PORSCHE, so she went ahead to paint the man's car she found in the garage instead. After collecting her money, the blonde informed the man that his car is not a Porsche but a Lexus...

Oya smile if u now understand

nabsprada: i've got 2 comment!!! dese jokes mek sense die,kip it coming...

agb2011: welldone! you got me laughing from the beginning to the end

JOYCEOUS:

Tanks!

VanTee20: #21
Mum came home from work to find her 5 year old son, Junior, crying.

"What's wrong sweetie?" she asked sweetly.

"I think daddy is going to die because the nanny wants to kill him, but at
least he will go to heaven" Junior
answered.

"Why would you think such a thing honey?" mum asked.

Junior answered,

"Because when daddy came home during his lunch break he took the nanny to the guest room and after some time he started to scream.
"Janet, you are killing me! Janet you are killing me! O Lord, O my God, I am
coming".

VanTee20: Akpos came home early from office one day and he was shocked to find his girlfriend (Ekaette) in the arms of his best friend (Eazy).

He angrily sent Ekaette out of the room get. Then he confronted his friend Eazy saying. "What was that all about? Have u forgotten that she is my girlfriend."

"I love your girlfriend and she loves me too," Eazy replied.

"Are u nuts? She is my girlfriend. I love and she loves," Akpos pronounced angrily.

After a long argument,
Akpos suggested that they should fire guns to attract Ekaette's attention and pretend to be both dead, that way they will know who Ekaette loves most when she start mourning. Eazy agreed and they quickly fired the guns.

Ekaette heard the
gunshots and she rushed into room to find both Akpos and Eazy on the floor.

At first she expressed shock and surprise, then almost immediately she started laughing loudly, then she shouted, "Kay, get out of that wardrobe, these two idiots are dead!"

Akpos, who was pretending to be dead before, fainted from there!

Jumizie13: keep it coming guy.

buyles: I read all ur jokes van, welldone, dey r all very funny:-) I read all ur jokes van, welldone, dey r all very funny:-)

ekereku: No better medicine for laughter than this.

ekereku: Thanks guy.

ekereku: No better medicine for laughter than this.

Ibroboss: Veetee20 or whatever u call urself,I 8 u and ur jokes but I dnt 8 u or neither do I 8 ur jokes u r muahhhhhh,olorun ngbo!

You are funny, guy... I was meaning to give u a e-slap before I read the concluding part of your post. God save u sha

VanTee20: #9
Akpors was being discharged from Yaba Mental Hospital after the doctors thought he was finally back to normal.

They put him in an Ambulance to
be taken back home.

They took him to Omole, as he claimed that's where he lived.

Just as they approached a certain house, 2 kids dressed in school uniforms came out of the house.

Akpos screamed; "Those are my children, they are going to school".

A minute later a woman came out of the same house and Akpos
screamed; "That's my wife, she is late for work."

This time the doctors were convinced Akpos was okay and took him out of the ambulance
but was still in chains.

As they were about unlocking the chains, a man came out of the
house and Akpos screamed; "Yes, that's me, i am going to my
office."

Lagusta: abeg, these jokes make sense joor.....

kudos!!!

Swit up: VanTee20 if I send d end time committee to beat u up now..., pÉople will ask me how it has affected d price of garri in the market and others will scream all izz well...! Why on earth have u stopped po§tin naw..? Since august 21th...!

Do and come jaree... I miss ur jokes ni..!

VanTee20:

Lwkmd! Schedule has become extra tight, that's why I've stopped posting.

Don't you worry, the jokes will return pretty soon.

Madawaki01: hope u weren't robbed of d league cup,cos dis one wey u get tight schedule