Emusan:

I can't laugh it all. It seems like a joke but one Bros that is taking weed (though God has arrested him now) once told me that anytime he takes it if Goliath stand before him he will look like a day old baby, anytime I remember this statement I will just burst into laugh.

Na true the egbon talk o. Walai Weed na bastard

VanTee20: Errm I forgot to add, the boy's name na AKPORS...

VanTee20: #19
A little old lady answered her doorbell and saw a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would
like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!"

As she closed the door, the young man quickly wedged his foot in the door and pushed it open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse
manure from your carpet,
ma'am, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because
they cut off my electricity this morning."

VanTee20: #9
Two friends were smoking weed... One of them went behind a tree, removed all his clothes and came back to
his friend naked!

He stood infront of his friend and asked;

"How do I look in my new suit?"

The friend looked at him, smiled, took another puff and said "Wow!!! You look so amazing in this your suit but you put your tie below the
waist instead of putting it round your neck!"

Mc Mastiff: The principal asked the man,"Are u the new English teacher? He answered,"Yes i are!!

Layemii: Ohh vantee number 8 & 9 are my favourite lol

VanTee20: A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in.

In the first room, people are standing in sh'i't up to
their necks. The guy says

"no, let me see the next room."

In the second room, people are standing with sh'i't up to their noses. The Guy says no again.

Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with
sh'i't up to their knees, drinking tea and eating bread.

The guy says, "I pick this
room."

Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some tea.
On the way out Satan yells, "O.K. Tea break's over. Everyone back in on your heads!"

VanTee20: #9
Two friends were smoking weed... One of them went behind a tree, removed all his clothes and came back to
his friend naked!

He stood infront of his friend and asked;

"How do I look in my new suit?"

The friend looked at him, smiled, took another puff and said "Wow!!! You look so amazing in this your suit but you put your tie below the
waist instead of putting it round your neck!"

VanTee20: #22
A woman's husband comes home drunk every night, and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.

One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her
husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an
armchair and gives him a back rub.

"It's getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why
don't we go upstairs to bed?"

"We might as well," slurs the husband. "I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."

VanTee20: Akpos' next door neighbour had a baby.

Unfortunately, the little
baby was born without ears. When they
arrived home from
the hospital, the
parents invited Akpos' family to come over and
see their new baby.

Akpos' parents
were very sure their son would make silly comments about the
baby. So, Akpos'
dad decided to have a talk with Akpos before going to the neighbour's house.

He said, "Now, son,
that poor baby was born with no ears. I want you to be on your best
behaviour and not
say one word about his ears, or I'm really going
to beat the hell out of you when we come back home."

"OK Dad. I promise, I won't mention his ears
at all," replied Akpos.

At the neighbour's house, Akpos leaned over the
crib and touched the baby's
hand. He looked at the mother and said,

"Oh, what a
beautiful little
baby!"

The mother, who had braced herself
for Akpos' comment, was
pleasantly surprised and replied;

"Thank you very much, Akpos."

Akpos then
continued, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he can see clearly?"

The mother, who was a bit surprised by Akpos' question, replied;

"Yes ... his doctor said he has a good vision. Why do you ask?"

Akpos said, "Well,
it's a good thing, because i'm very sure he can't wear glasses.