Hi everyone,i have a problem here which i think reasonable thinkers can help me get sorted out.
I have a friend that lives in the same area as i do for over 6 years and later moved out late 2006,he had a girlfriend whom i later got to know personally.After the guy's departure,the girl goes to see him several times because of the deep love she has for him.I later became her closest friend,we gist,we play and i keep her company most times and she told me i was not making her feel the absence of her guy which i was happy about and vice versa to me 2 as i no longer had a girlfriend but she still keeps contact with her guy always.
But after some months,i noticed i was beginning to have some feelings inside me for her,i didn't want to be wrong if it was lust or love,but it became stronger and stronger everyday.We sometimes quarell but later get it settled.I love this girl so much and i dont know how to go about it,but 1 thing is i can't tell it to her as she still talks with her guy constantly day in day out.I dont know what to do,please help me.

wow! dis is reali difficult. i will advice you not 2 tell her you love her bcoz she will think you are a very very bad friend. it will surely b a load in your heart bt it will reali help if you dont tell her. d only thing you can do is tell her that you ADMIRE her nd lets see her reaction and also i feel you are just FOND of her not IN LOVE. anyways do what you feel is ryte nd pls dont do anything that will break your friendship wit your friend ok! coz friends like that are VERY hardn 2 find VERY VERY VERY HARD.

be disciplined, leave your friend's girl alone and find yours. Why are you constantly hanging out with her?

I'll advice you do not tell her, it would only put a strain in your relationship. It's best you keep your distance from the girl and get yourself your own girlfriend.

Leave the girl for her man, you don't want to destroy their relationship do you? Control yourself

you ave to be very careful,one thing i'm sure of is that if the girl is meant for you everything will work out.
but for now just open ur eyes and watch , who knows she might be having feelings for you also

abegi, pls go look for your own jare, whats d world turning into

This is infatuation and not love. The best you can do is to distance yourself from her. Make excuses if she ask you why you have not been coming to see her again. From what you wrote above it is obvious that the girl is deep in love with your friend. Keep the bond of friendship intact. One Love.

young man have you never heard that ATTENTION BREEDS AFFECTION? my advise is, dont tell her now or ever, cut the attention and paste else where on another girl, simple!!

Dude, she is your friend's girlfriend! Seriously, how can you do that to a friend? That's mean. If you really respect his friendship, you'd leave his girl alone and find yours because she is out there.

I forgot to ask you. Don't you have a girl? If you do then why the lust? if you don't,go find yourself another girl. There are lots of girls out there and even on Nairaland. Find yourself one and that way you will spend less time with your friend's girl.

Turn the table around to yourself and try to imagine how it would be if your friend says he loves your gurlfriend ?
Abeg go look for ya own babe joo !

plz dont tell her u love her cos she will tell her guy and this might cause conflict btw u and ur friend, try and limit d way u talk with her and spend time with her, hang out somewhere else and get another girl so as to ve a good name

This same thing happened when i was like 18 years old but the girl i liked was my cousin's girl-they were quarelling at the time.He was not in lagos and told me to just say hello to her and from the first time i saw her, i over- liked this girl.
before we knew what we happening the feelin was mutual- and i told her how i felt which was good at the time, cus she likd the way i told her how i felt.
when she got back 2 school she hooked up back wit my cousin and by the time she got back to lagos, she totally ignored me and she was even making out wit him(just kissin) in front of me.

so i'll advise u not 2 tell her anything, just keep bein a good friend to her
BTW: when my cousin later found out, he so wanted to kick my ass but couldn't find me

So what advice do you need?
to betray your friend and breakup his relationship

In other to avoid everything get your self busy with the things of God with that you will gradually be forgetting her i know is not easy but you will make it through the rain.All the best.

guy,do well.go look for ur own babe b4 u dey love ur friend babe

Excuse me?

Your friend's girlfriend is the only girl in this world to fall in love/fall in lust with. You are a typical Nigerian so I am not surprised.  All you guys do is sit down in one place and try to commit abominations all around you.  Anywhere you see progress. . .you are definitely not happy.  You are the kind of guy that will wait for his friends to go to work and end up trying to sleep with their wives or better still act like your "King David" in your bible. . .by killing the friend or neighbour just to sleep with his wife. What will you do when they are married?

Guys like you are dangerous and plainly evil. Diabolical in short! Vermin!

Anyway, it is the bush girl I blame. . .for even looking in your direction. It just shows she has no scrupples.  Why in the world is she maintaining such close contact with you is what I cannot understand. She must be very stupid.

Sometimes you quarrel and make up? Hmm! Do you live in the same house?

I fil u, shit happens but u have 2 pblms and only would decide wat is your fate! is dis guy ur frnd?are u ready to lose him?sometins till u enter u will find out that it is not worth it. betrayal they say its the worst tin a guy can do his fellow some say its punishable by death. at the end of the day the gal mite not be wrth it? u are jus infatuated i guess and u keep trippin cos u cant have her yet but that road my friend is not worth the whole after effect so dont bother.

ABEG I DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE THIS ALMONDJOY!!! WAT DOES DAT MEAN "YOU ARE A TYPICAL NIGERIAN" I TAKE GOD BEG YOU PLEASE IN THE NAME OF GOD WATCH YOUR TONGUE OR IN CASE YOU HAVE NOTICED THIS IS NAIRALAND AND I PERSONALLY WILL NOT TAKE IT LIKELY THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE LIVER TO COMMIT SUCH FALLACY HERE PLEASE DO ADHERE TO CORRECTIONS OR U CAN RELOCATE TO DOLLARLAND WHERE YOU AND YOUR FELOW AMERICANS WHO BEHAVE SO AMERICANS CAN REASON WELL!!

ashe2:

ABEG I DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE THIS ALMONDJOY!!! WAT DOES DAT MEAN "YOU ARE A TYPICAL NIGERIAN" I TAKE GOD BEG YOU PLEASE IN THE NAME OF GOD WATCH YOUR TONGUE OR IN CASE YOU HAVE NOTICED THIS IS NAIRALAND AND I PERSONALLY WILL NOT TAKE IT LIKELY THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE LIVER TO COMMIT SUCH FALLACY HERE PLEASE DO ADHERE TO CORRECTIONS OR You CAN RELOCATE TO DOLLARLAND WHERE YOU AND YOUR FELOW AMERICANS WHO BEHAVE SO AMERICANS CAN REASON WELL!!

@ashe2

You are typical new Nairaland member that ALWAYS FORGOT that there are American-Nigerians as well as other Nigerian abroad out there!

You, ASHE2, expect this Nairaland is for NIGERIANS only? You are DEADLY WRONG! Nairaland is for EVERYONE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD both Nigerians and non-Nigerians that are MORE THAN WELCOME!

Please adhere the Nairaland rules! Watch your TONGUE insulting grown adults ARE MUCH OLDER THAN YOU ARE out there! SIGH! SIGH!

bluehorizo:

This is infatuation and not love. The best you can do is to distance yourself from her. Make excuses if she ask you why you have not been coming to see her again. From what you wrote above it is obvious that the girl is deep in love with your friend. Keep the bond of friendship intact. One Love.

u've said it ALL

ashe2:

ABEG I DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE THIS ALMONDJOY!!! WAT DOES DAT MEAN "YOU ARE A TYPICAL NIGERIAN" I TAKE GOD BEG YOU PLEASE IN THE NAME OF GOD WATCH YOUR TONGUE OR IN CASE YOU HAVE NOTICED THIS IS NAIRALAND AND I PERSONALLY WILL NOT TAKE IT LIKELY THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE LIVER TO COMMIT SUCH FALLACY HERE PLEASE DO ADHERE TO CORRECTIONS OR You CAN RELOCATE TO DOLLARLAND WHERE YOU AND YOUR FELOW AMERICANS WHO BEHAVE SO AMERICANS CAN REASON WELL!!

Was that even called for?

She wasn't even talking to u. I tot everyone is here to give their own opinions and advices . . .you did urs, so did she. The least u can do is just ignore it if it's so offensive to you.

@poster,
It's hard but u need to start avoiding her . . especially if the guy is truly your friend.
seems she's very much still involved with her boyfriend if u ask me.

ashe2:

ABEG I DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE THIS ALMONDJOY!!! WAT DOES DAT MEAN "YOU ARE A TYPICAL NIGERIAN" I TAKE GOD BEG YOU PLEASE IN THE NAME OF GOD WATCH YOUR TONGUE OR IN CASE YOU HAVE NOTICED THIS IS NAIRALAND AND I PERSONALLY WILL NOT TAKE IT LIKELY THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE LIVER TO COMMIT SUCH FALLACY HERE PLEASE DO ADHERE TO CORRECTIONS OR You CAN RELOCATE TO DOLLARLAND WHERE YOU AND YOUR FELOW AMERICANS WHO BEHAVE SO AMERICANS CAN REASON WELL!!

Just thank your lucky stars for moderators! Instead of concentrating on the topic. . .you are responding to my post.  Like I said. . .thank you lucky stars I am in a good mood.

uspry1:

@ashe2

You are typical new Nairaland member that ALWAYS FORGOT that there are American-Nigerians as well as other Nigerian abroad out there!

You, ASHE2, expect this Nairaland is for NIGERIANS only? You are DEADLY WRONG! Nairaland is for EVERYONE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD both Nigerians and non-Nigerians that are MORE THAN WELCOME!

Please adhere the Nairaland rules! Watch your TONGUE insulting grown adults ARE MUCH OLDER THAN YOU ARE out there! SIGH! SIGH!

That is what I mean by "the typical" Nigerian.  Who cannot see beyond his or her nostrils.  Please don't mind the village pig! Does it sound like the poster in question was raised by two legally married parents?

Busta:

Was that even called for?

She wasn't even talking to u. I tot everyone is here to give their own opinions and advices . . .you did urs, so did she. The least u can do is just ignore it if it's so offensive to you.

@poster,
It hard but u need to start avoiding her . . especially if the guy is truly your friend.
seems she's very much still involved with her boyfriend if u ask me.

Don't mind all these stupid re-cycled posters who never mind their business.

@Admondjoy,

I’m of the opinion that you can say whatever thing you like either negative or positive. I know your style of posting and to me that’s your own opinion whether people like it or not as long as you don’t insult any person. I laugh each time people begin to blast you for posting your views. I know your posts are always on the verge of causing trouble because of your approach to threads. But to me, you must express your view anyhow you want it but not to insult any person.

However, you are now deviating from your usual style by trying to deduce or construe the poster’s intending low life behaviour as a way of life for Nigerians (though typical Nigerian may be some). That’s too is wrong. Finally, [b]ashe2 [/b]has not insulted you but you are taking it too far.

If the Poster like let him sleep with the girl after all the girl in question is not married to any of them. So, what's the din here?

PL+C:

@Admondjoy,

I’m of the opinion that you can say whatever thing you like either negative or positive. I know your style of posting and to me that’s your own opinion whether people like it or not as long as you don’t insult any person. I laugh each time people begin to blast you for posting your views. I know your posts are always on the verge of causing trouble because of your approach to threads. But to me, you must express your view anyhow you want it but not to insult any person.

However, you are now deviating from your usual style by trying to deduce or construe the poster’s intending low life behaviour as a way of life for Nigerians (though typical Nigerian may be some). That’s too is wrong. Finally, ashe2 [/b]has not insulted you but you are taking it too far.

If the Poster like let him sleep with the girl after all the girl in question is not married to any of them. So, what's the din here?

Shey you again?

You have been banned sufficiently enough to realize that this your "cheerleading" activities does not serve you well. Frankly nothing to discuss with your kind. . .face the bloody topic please and mind you own phocking business as you have never learned to do!

I hate to deal with useless, semi-educated Nigerians who think with their smelling arses most of the time so I will have to say. . . .

[b]GOOD RIDDANCE THREAD!!!!!


Moderator, please delete all these posts from all these hungry Yar'adua cock sucking refugees based in Nigeria! Hungry, poverty-stricken useless idiots without electricity or plumbing systems. . .who go about looking for peoples' girlfriends and wives/boyfriends or husbands to sleep with with their filthy arses!

@PLC

Stay to the topic and don't take it personal

edii:



@ almond joy.i hate u.mess out of this site.gush!see spelling errors in your statement.foolish old mama.i wonder who gave u acess to nairaland.idiot

How can you hate your fellow? Too harsh. I wish someone is moderating this section.

Admondjoy,

You have done nothing wrong to me but I'm only trying to let you know that you are taking it too far and still going far and far. Don't say sucking Refugees in Nigeria because they have not complained against living in Nigeria. The way I see it, I find it difficult to believe that you are better than any of them. You were once in Nigeria too. You don't know where I base but I tell you no place like home.

O boy go ahead and do what mind tells u.There is no harm in trying since both of you have

come so close like this, it depends on the girl to say yes or no. But i am sure she will say no

because of the love she has for the your friend. Just say it out so that your mind will be free.

Don't listen all those saying what they don't know if they are in your shoes they will do more

than you. Before u do anything sha, consider how your friend will feel if he finds out

Good luck

@everyone.Thank u so much everybody,i'm very grateful 4 ur advices to me concerning my post,i really appreciate it.I think majority caries the vote and that is:I'll leave her to herself,though,it wont be easy but i'll definitely do that so as to keep d relationship btw my friend and i.
Thanks a lot everyone.