My hubby is leaving for school abroad nd he will be gone for a year or more, he then says his mum is gonna live with me while hez away. Ofcourse i dont av a problem with my mother inlaw cos i swear shez a wonderful one though she nd my hubby r really into eachother becos he is her last born., however she tries much to give me my space as a wife eventhough she doesnt really like dat d love is diverted. My point is dis, dont u think shez wonderful cos we dont see eachother often, if we now get to live together for one year, sleep on d same bed nd see each other everyday wont issues arise btwn us. I love her nd i wanna kip it dat way. D little distance btwn us is d reason we still love eachother.And my hubby said i cant contest this..... Av bin worried sick. I need opinions, examples nd encouragements. People like "numeric guy"dat lack comprhension please keep ur comments to urself. Whatever u guys say ere might change my hubby's mind dats if someone understands me.

Babz temmy: My hubby is leaving for school abroad nd he will be gone for a year or more, he then says his mum is gonna live with me while hez away. Ofcourse i dont av a problem with my mother inlaw cos i swear shez a wonderful one though she nd my hubby r really into eachother becos he is her last born., however she tries much to give me my space as a wife eventhough she doesnt really like dat d love is diverted. My point is dis, dont u think shez wonderful cos we dont see eachother often, if we now get to live together for one year, sleep on d same bed nd see each other everyday wont issues arise btwn us. I love her nd i wanna kip it dat way. D little distance btwn us is d reason we still love eachother.And my hubby said i cant contest this..... Av bin worried sick. I need opinions, examples nd encouragements. People like "numeric guy"dat lack comprhension please keep ur comments to urself. Whatever u guys say ere might change my hubby's mind dats if someone understands me.

The last time i quarelled with someone was 7 years ago. Do, you know why? It's because i've always been on my own minding my business...So, it's normal if issues arise as a result of your MIL living in the same house with you and seeing you everyday. It's your ability to handle whatever issues that arise that matters the most. Don't be confrontational and in her face at all times. Try as much as possible to still mind your business to some extent and your days will be long. Let somebody shout halleluya!!!

Afam4eva:
The last time i quarelled with someone was 7 years ago. Do, you know why? It's because i've always been on my own minding my business...So, it's normal if issues arise as a result of your MIL living in the same house with you and seeing you everyday. It's your ability to handle whatever issues that arise that matters the most. Don't be confrontational and in her face at all times. Try as much as possible to still mind your business to some extent and your days will be long. Let somebody shout halleluya!!!

Wow dats gonna need to grace of God. When she comes around nd does something i dont like, am able to hold on cos i know she leaves in few hours. But now i av to pretend to be happy for 365 days? Wow

Babz temmy:
Wow dats gonna need to grace of God. When she comes around nd does something i dont like, am able to hold on cos i know she leaves in few hours. But now i av to pretend to be happy for 365 days? Wow

It's difficult but it's doable. Just see her the way you see your husband.

y does ur hubby want his mum to say with u? is she sick or invalid? or r u pregnant? or sick?

or is it that he doesn't trust u enough to let u stay alone, that he needs his mum to monitor u?

first find out y he wants his mum to move in. if there is no reasonable reason, maybe u should suggest that u will be visiting her every weekend or something like that.

bottom line, u need to knw his reasons b4 u can knw what to do.

Afam4eva:
It's difficult but it's doable. Just see her the way you see your husband.

I cant count how many times i av quarreled wiv my hubby nd had several misunderstandings. I dont know hw to bottle up issues. Am just gonna cry to God to mk my hubby change his mind

Aafulenu: y does ur hubby want his mum to say with u? is she sick or invalid? or r u pregnant? or sick?

or is it that he doesn't trust u enough to let u stay alone, that he needs his mum to monitor u?

first find out y he wants his mum to move in. if there is no reasonable reason, maybe u should suggest that u will be visiting her every weekend or something like that.

bottom line, u need to knw his reasons b4 u can knw what to do.

Let's not make it more difficult than it already is. We don't wanna steer the hornet's nest. Imagine if the mother finds out that she questioned her husband's intention to bring her mother to stay with her. That will spell doom for her for 1 year.

Aafulenu: y does ur hubby want his mum to say with u? is she sick or invalid? or r u pregnant? or sick?

or is it that he doesn't trust u enough to let u stay alone, that he needs his mum to monitor u?

first find out y he wants his mum to move in. if there is no reasonable reason, maybe u should suggest that u will be visiting her every weekend or something like that.

bottom line, u need to knw his reasons b4 u can knw what to do.

I av a 5months old baby and he feels i would need help with d baby

Afam4eva:
Let's not make it more difficult than it already is. We don't wanna steer the hornet's nest. Imagine if the mother finds out that she questioned her husband's intention to bring her mother to stay with her. That will spell doom for her for 1 year.

funny, so she shouldnt ask at all? so asking y a decision is made has become questioning her husband's intention? anyway am not married so let me not pretend that i knw hw marriages walk. the first tin that popped into my head when i read the OP's post was WHY? and am sure the same question would pop in to anyother person's mind that reads her post.

Babz temmy:
I av a 5months old baby and he feels i would need help with d baby

now this is better. a reason.

he wants his mum to stay with to you to help with the baby, thats ok. u just have to treat her like u would treat ur own mother and i doubt u will have a problem with her. respect her, even if she does what u wouldnt like, just close ur eyes and count to ten. besides it just temporary.

or

if ur mum is available and u still don't want ur MIL to come stay with u, u can suggest to ur hubby that ur mumsy would come stay with u instead, and help wit the baby. explaining to him that its not cos u don like his mum but just cos u dont wanna walk on ur toes all the while he is away

Aafulenu:
if ur mum is available and u still don't want ur MIL to come stay with u, u can suggest to ur hubby that ur mumsy would come stay with u instead, and help wit the baby. explaining to him that its not cos u don like his mum but just cos u dont wanna walk on ur toes all the while he is away

Lol...Some things are best avoided.

Babz temmy:
I av a 5months old baby and he feels i would need help with d baby

Now! Dats d reason!

Probably you work, ur MIL doesn't,she can stay home η babysit all thru..even cook b4 you come bk.

You would love it trust me! Just be sweet to her no matter what

Fine. I'm not gonna say anything.
** goes to sit in a corner **

Afam4eva:
Lol...Some things are best avoided.

ha... afam my brother, i gave two options na, y u come pick only one? the second option was if she couldnt do the first.

Xavier's:


Now! Dats d reason!

Probably you work, ur MIL doesn't,she can stay home η babysit all thru..even cook b4 you come bk.

You would love it trust me! Just be sweet to her no matter what

I dont work. Am suggesting she comes may be 3 or 4 times a week, dats still okay instead of moving in

Aafulenu:

now this is better. a reason.

he wants his mum to stay with to you to help with the baby, thats ok. u just have to treat her like u would treat ur own mother and i doubt u will have a problem with her. respect her, even if she does what u wouldnt like, just close ur eyes and count to ten. besides it just temporary.

or

if ur mum is available and u still don't want ur MIL to come stay with u, u can suggest to ur hubby that ur mumsy would come stay with u instead, and help wit the baby. explaining to him that its not cos u don like his mum but just cos u dont wanna walk on ur toes all the while he is away

Even if my mum was shez not the sit at home with daughter type.

Why should ΰR̶̲̥̅̊ hubby even suggest such a thing? Forget the formalities when U̶̲̥̅̊ g̶̲̥̅̊o̶̲̥̅̊ visiting, but moving in is like bringing a generator into the sitting room. Try Ãήϑ avoid it best U̶̲̥̅̊ can, __̅_̅̅_̅̅̅‖̳̿ can't have ♍ƺ mother coming †̥♥ stay W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̊τ̣̣̥h̶̲̥̅̊ ♍ƺ wife while aм̣̣̥̇̊ gone. Since she is not complaining about needing help W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̊τ̣̣̥h̶̲̥̅̊ the baby. Besides even though he loves U̶̲̥̅̊ , it kinda shows τ̲̣̣̥h̶̲̥̅̊α̩̩̩̩̥†̥̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ are incompetent of taking care of urself Ãήϑ the baby. Shun the idea abeg.

Na wa o, I wonder wat kind of marriage people do nowadays o, wat is wrong wit ur mother-in-law comin to stay wit u for a year? What are u scared of? Has d woman ever been wicked to u before? If she has, pls just tell us becos it seems to me that u re d one that has a problem here afterall u neva told us that she has been harsh to u b4......!!

So, u mean I can't call my mum to com and spend like a year wit my wife and 6months old baby? U women must be silly atimes o....except u and d mum have issues or always quarell, then u can be scared, bt right now, I tink u re d one who doesn't like d woman, infact I tink d woman should be d one here complainin here to us on NL that her son wants her to stay wit u and she is scared of u...!!

If u hav a real reason why u dnt want to stay wit ur mother-in-law, tell us let us know, as far as am concerned, my wife and my mother are goin to be d most special women in my life and they must always spend time together and my wife must always learn to respect, cherish and accomodate my mother, afterall, dis is my mother we re talkin about.

And if my mother is treatin my wife bad, no matter what, I will see to it that I handle d matter.

But I won't stand and hear my wife tell me that she won't spend time wit my mumsy wen am away for a year and we hav a 6month old baby

Ladies, mothers are veri important to men, and just becos we marry u doesn't mean we wudnt go to them wen we need them or that we shud cut off our ties wit them. They re always d number 1 lady in our life except wen they f**k up big time, deal wit it.

♍ƺ guy, stop living ΰR̶̲̥̅̊ American marriage ecstacy life Ãήϑ come back †̥♥ 9ja. Ŋo̶̷̩̥̊͡ matter H̶̲̥̅̊ọ̥w̶̲̥̅̊ Ğoº°˚°ºϑ ΰR̶̲̥̅̊ mother is Ãήϑ H̶̲̥̅̊ọ̥w̶̲̥̅̊ sweet ΰR̶̲̥̅̊ wife is, U̶̲̥̅̊ can never keep both of them in the same house f̶̲̥̅̊Θя̩̥̊ a year. Nawa ☺h°˚˚˚°!. Ordinary 3months of babysitting Ãήϑ U̶̲̥̅̊ would wish †̥♥ God U̶̲̥̅̊ hadn't done W̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊ά̲̣̣̣̥τ̣̣̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ did.

Ab025: Na wa o, I wonder wat kind of marriage people do nowadays o, wat is wrong wit ur mother-in-law comin to stay wit u for a year? What are u scared of? Has d woman ever been wicked to u before? If she has, pls just tell us becos it seems to me that u re d one that has a problem here afterall u neva told us that she has been harsh to u b4......!!

So, u mean I can't call my mum to com and spend like a year wit my wife and 6months old baby? U women must be silly atimes o....except u and d mum have issues or always quarell, then u can be scared, bt right now, I tink u re d one who doesn't like d woman, infact I tink d woman should be d one here complainin here to us on NL that her son wants her to stay wit u and she is scared of u...!!

If u hav a real reason why u dnt want to stay wit ur mother-in-law, tell us let us know, as far as am concerned, my wife and my mother are goin to be d most special women in my life and they must always spend time together and my wife must always learn to respect, cherish and accomodate my mother, afterall, dis is my mother we re talkin about.

And if my mother is treatin my wife bad, no matter what, I will see to it that I handle d matter.

But I won't stand and hear my wife tell me that she won't spend time wit my mumsy wen am away for a year and we hav a 6month old baby

Ladies, mothers are veri important to men, and just becos we marry u doesn't mean we wudnt go to them wen we need them or that we shud cut off our ties wit them. They re always d number 1 lady in our life except wen they f**k up big time, deal wit it.

who says she doesnt want to spend time with the woman? didnt u see where she suggested 4 days a week? some men self, since u love ur mother so much why did u even move out from her house in the first place? y didnt u just marry ur wife into ur mothers house na. smh

Babz temmy:
I cant count how many times i av quarreled wiv my hubby nd had several misunderstandings. I dont know hw to bottle up issues. Am just gonna cry to God to mk my hubby change his mind

what u do to your mother in-law today u will receive it in double later

daduke2k: ♍ƺ guy, stop living ΰR̶̲̥̅̊ American marriage ecstacy life Ãήϑ come back †̥♥ 9ja. Ŋo̶̷̩̥̊͡ matter H̶̲̥̅̊ọ̥w̶̲̥̅̊ Ğoº°˚°ºϑ ΰR̶̲̥̅̊ mother is Ãήϑ H̶̲̥̅̊ọ̥w̶̲̥̅̊ sweet ΰR̶̲̥̅̊ wife is, U̶̲̥̅̊ can never keep both of them in the same house f̶̲̥̅̊Θя̩̥̊ a year. Nawa ☺h°˚˚˚°!. Ordinary 3months of babysitting Ãήϑ U̶̲̥̅̊ would wish †̥♥ God U̶̲̥̅̊ hadn't done W̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊ά̲̣̣̣̥τ̣̣̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ did.

Na wa ooo. I dont expect everyone to understand. However i bliv people with my hubby's idea should be ere. So aint suprised. But re read my comment i have no problem wat so ever with my mother in law. I just dont want to ruin our r.ship cos living together might cost it. Especially d fact dat she knows she will always be d num one lady in ur lives its gonna make it more complicated. I love my mother in law very much and trust me thanks to d fact that we dont live together

Aafulenu:

who says she doesnt want to spend time with the woman? didnt u see where she suggested 4 days a week? some men self, since u love ur mother so much why did u even move out from her house in the first place? y didnt u just marry ur wife into ur mothers house na. smh

did u think before u type this garbage? Learn to treat ur mother in-law the way u want to be treated by your future son's wife

[quote author=Ab025]Na wa o, I wonder wat kind of marriage people do nowadays o, wat is wrong wit ur mother-in-law comin to stay wit u for a year? What are u scared of? Has d woman ever been wicked to u before? If she has, pls just tell us becos it seems to me that u re d one that has a problem here afterall u neva told us that she has been harsh to u b4......!!

So, u mean I can't call my mum to com and spend like a year wit my wife and 6months old baby? U women must be silly atimes o....except u and d mum have issues or always quarell, then u can be scared, bt right now, I tink u re d one who doesn't like d woman, infact I tink d woman should be d one here complainin here to us on NL that her son wants her to stay wit u and she is scared of u...!!
Na wa ooo.

If u hav a real reason why u dnt want to stay wit ur mother-in-law, tell us let us know, as far as am concerned, my wife and my mother are goin to be d most special women in my life and they must always spend time together and my wife must always learn to respect, cherish and accomodate my mother, afterall, dis is my mother we re talkin about.

And if my mother is treatin my wife bad, no matter what, I will see to it that I handle d matter.

But I won't stand and hear my wife tell me that she won't spend time wit my mumsy wen am away for a year and we hav a 6month old baby

Ladies, mothers are veri important to men, and just becos we marry u doesn't mean we wudnt go to them wen we need them or that we shud cut off our ties wit them. They re always d number 1 lady in our life except wenNa wa ooo. I dont expect everyone to understand. However i bliv people with my hubby's idea should be ere. So aint suprised. But re read my comment i have no problem wat so ever with my mother in law. I just dont want to ruin our r.ship cos living together might cost it. Especially d fact dat she knows she will always be d num one lady in ur lives its gonna make it more complicated. I love my mother in law very much and trust me thanks to d fact that we dont live together

kasheemawo: did u think before u type this garbage? Learn to treat ur mother in-law the way u want to be treated by your future son's wife

is she treating the woman bad now? haba! she just doesnt want to live with her every day every hour for more than 365days is it bad? and yes i will not even dream of spending more than 2 or 3weeks at a time with my children when they are grown talkless of my inlaw cos i knw it will be choking.

Ab025: Na wa o, I wonder wat kind of marriage people do nowadays o, wat is wrong wit ur mother-in-law comin to stay wit u for a year? What are u scared of? Has d woman ever been wicked to u before? If she has, pls just tell us becos it seems to me that u re d one that has a problem here afterall u neva told us that she has been harsh to u b4......!!

So, u mean I can't call my mum to com and spend like a year wit my wife and 6months old baby? U women must be silly atimes o....except u and d mum have issues or always quarell, then u can be scared, bt right now, I tink u re d one who doesn't like d woman, infact I tink d woman should be d one here complainin here to us on NL that her son wants her to stay wit u and she is scared of u...!!

If u hav a real reason why u dnt want to stay wit ur mother-in-law, tell us let us know, as far as am concerned, my wife and my mother are goin to be d most special women in my life and they must always spend time together and my wife must always learn to respect, cherish and accomodate my mother, afterall, dis is my mother we re talkin about.

And if my mother is treatin my wife bad, no matter what, I will see to it that I handle d matter.

But I won't stand and hear my wife tell me that she won't spend time wit my mumsy wen am away for a year and we hav a 6month old baby

Ladies, mothers are veri important to men, and just becos we marry u doesn't mean we wudnt go to them wen we need them or that we shud cut off our ties wit them. They re always d number 1 lady in our life except wen they f**k up big time, deal wit it.

This idea is totally wrong your mother is important and so is your wife. Their roles differ both come No 1 in their various roles in your life. A home between a man and his wife is different from the previous one he had with his mom. He cannot install his mom as mom of the house without the wife's consent what if the wife wants her own mom too.?

However op do not deal with your mil with fear of what can happen if you give her too much space just treat her like your mother and you may win a lifetime friendship. Stop being suspicious of her intentions. Enjoy the friendship that is about to develop.

@op.....u said u will prefer ur mother in-law to be visitin maybe some days of d week, what is bad if she stays? What are u scared of? That she will treat u bad? Or u re scared that u will do sometin wrong?

No man will want to travel abroad for a year and leave his wife and 6months old baby alone without puttin them under d care of someone close, in dis case, of which d man sees his mum as d person he can trust.

Why do u tink stayin wit ur mother-in-law is going to spoil u guy's relationship? Cos u tink she may start pickin up little tins abt u? That she will start blamin u for everytin? Not all mother-in-laws are like that, have fAith na....

Ab025: @op.....u said u will prefer ur mother in-law to be visitin maybe some days of d week, what is bad if she stays? What are u scared of? That she will treat u bad? Or u re scared that u will do sometin wrong?

No man will want to travel abroad for a year and leave his wife and 6months old baby alone without puttin them under d care of someone close, in dis case, of which d man sees his mum as d person he can trust.

Why do u tink stayin wit ur mother-in-law is going to spoil u guy's relationship? Cos u tink she may start pickin up little tins abt u? That she will start blamin u for everytin? Not all mother-in-laws are like that, have fAith na....

A married woman needs her space sometimes. She needs to own her own home without interference from anyone. I think that's what the op is worried about.

andromida:

A married woman needs her space sometimes. She needs to own her own home without interference from anyone. I think that's what the op is worried about.

thank u my dear, they are just making it seem as if the op doesnt like her MIL

Well ur hubby might have a strong reason for doing that sha. There is no harm ur mother in law staying with u for a year. Remember a day will come u too will b a mother in law and circumstances beyond control might warrant ur son to take same decision. So do good and behave good to receive good. All I will advice is u must represent ur hubby well by maintaining ur cool with d mother. Respect and prayer is the watch word. God bless u.

But would you mind if your mum comes and stays for one year?

If u knw it will bother u tel him straight up...mmaybe u can move in it ur mother or ur relatives so u can get hep it the baby if any is needed